Bull**** stories you heard as a kid

cloud493

This thread is dedicated to the innumerable, utter bull****, stories we were all told as children, either by adults or by other kids.

Lies, fibs, tall tales and urban myths: what was the stupidest thing you were ever told?



A lad in my school swore blind you weren't allowed to re-fill a mineral water bottle with tap water. He said you'd get arrested. He was utterly convinced.
Or the one where someone said that the reason a McDonalds burger has the weird gherkin on it, is cos if it wasn't it had so much sugar it'd have to be considered a pudding.

DrumSteve

Something about a chap named Jesus.

Lucifer MorningStar

Catholicism

wazky

Islam

joeguevara

Chewing gum is made out of rats tails. Oh and you'd get a girl pregnant if you put your thing in cider. Budweiser was grand though!

Hande hoche!

Badgers' penchant for breaking bones.

King George VI

If you don't behave the man will come and take you away.

Rough Sleeper

You shouldn't get anything from the ice-cream van because the driver didn't wash his hands.

You shouldn't pick up collectible cards/stickers from the ground because dealers laced them with "drugs" to get unwary children hooked.

Humans have venom in their teeth.

Gravity is caused by the earth spinning.

All of these from adults as well.

anewme

Another batch here of dont to this or that or THE MAN.......will get you - he must get around!

Another one which terrified us:
A woman in (it was always the neighbouring Estate) had an Alsatian dog (which by the way we called an Allastation) and she washed it in the bath and then later on she had a bath herself and then nine months later she had pups!

We believed it too.

anewme

anewme wrote: »

A woman in (it was always the neighbouring Estate) had an Alsation dog and she washed it in the bath and then later on she had a bath herself and then nine months later she had pups!

We believed it too.

Was she from Limerick?
I think she died

dodderangler

Santa Claus . At least the Easter bunny was real tho

Renegade Mechanic

If the wind blows your face will stay that way!!!

joeguevara

Rough Sleeper wrote: »

You shouldn't get anything from the ice-cream van because the driver didn't wash his hands.

You shouldn't pick up collectible cards/stickers from the ground because dealers laced them with "drugs" to get unwary children hooked.

Humans have venom in their teeth.

Gravity is caused by the earth spinning.

All of these from adults as well.

The first one was definitely true in the 80s.

The_Valeyard

DrumSteve wrote: »

Something about a chap named Jesus.

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Catholicism

wazky wrote: »

Islam

Well that didn't take long for the usual knives to come out.



The black spot on the tongue if you told a lie.

Or

Staring at the tv turns your eyes square.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

If the cream van was playing music it means he's run out of ice cream.

Shiraz 4.99

Cross your eyes & they could stay like that

Eating apple seeds makes baby trees grow in your tummy

Jonty

Jim'll fix it.

Well he certainly did.

cloud493

Swallowing chewing gum makes itself wrap around your heart and could maybe kill you.

murray.eoghan

my mother said that if i was noisy on a plane the pilot would strap me to the wing of the plane

DEFTLEFTHAND

murray.eoghan wrote: »

my mother said that if i was noisy on a plane the pilot would strap me to the wing of the plane

:D

Cantremember

A country and western singer sold 400, 000 tickets for 5 nights in Croker.

Nemeses

Cantremember wrote: »

A country and western singer sold 400, 000 tickets for 5 nights in Croker.

Too soon man...

Fox_In_Socks

The priest hides behind the altar and will come out from behind it and take you away if you don't quieten down.

This was said to me to quieten me down while my mother was having a good ole pray but I thought it was hilarious as a 3 year old and started laughing and shouting even more.

PizzamanIRL

If your tongue is black it means you're telling lies.

Fox_In_Socks

The fellow from primary school who was allowed drive his father's tractor and trailer on the road (as a 9 year old).

Little Lion Woman

Eating crusts of bread makes your hair go curly.

B.A._Baracus

DrumSteve wrote: »

Something about a chap named Jesus.

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Catholicism

Seriously?
Whats with boards.ie or should say After Hours?

Like the thread was made at 7:22pm and that same minute the first reply was taking a popshot at religion? Did you even read the op Drumsteve or couldnt you reply quick enough from reading the thread title?

There are so many pops against religion on here. We get it. Alot of people here are athiest. Who cares

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Seriously?
Whats with boards.ie or should say After Hours?

Like the thread was made at 7:22pm and that same minute the first reply was taking a popshot at religion? Did you even read the op Drumsteve or couldnt you reply quick enough from reading the thread title?

There are so many pops against religion on here. We get it. Alot of people here are athiest. Who cares

I call them the God Squad.

Sir Osis of Liver.

**** makes you go blind.

SpoonJar JarSpoon

wazky wrote: »

Islam

thumbs up to this guy tho' ^

LETHAL LADY

On Halloween night if you sit in a darkened room with a lit candle, while combing your hair and looking into a mirror, your future husband will appear behind you.
If it was true I'd have married a man who looked like my mother dressed as a farmer.

Archeron

If you hold a buttercup under your chin on a sunny day and there's a yellow reflection, you like butter. Considering every single person who ever did this liked butter, it's hard to fathom why the EU ended up with a mountain of it.

Karl Stein

That Swans will break your arm out of spite because they turned three children into swans and those swans were then eaten by the Loch Ness Monster who went on to destroy large cities in Japan because the buildings tasted a bit like chocolate.

Nekarsulm

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

The fellow from primary school who was allowed drive his father's tractor and trailer on the road (as a 9 year old).

Almost certainly true (ish) Any 9 year old would have been driving the farms smallest tractor regularly. Thought not on the road very often.

dubscottie

Being from Scotland, we were always told that the trains went up and down over the top of this.. 2 miles from my home..


http://www.thomashogben.co.uk/welcome/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Forth-Rail-Bridge-WEB-1-640x360.jpg

Bout 3 when I worked out it was bollox! When we had hard boiled eggs we got asked " Do you want solders or Forth Bridges"!!

Toots

Near my parents' house there was a Carmelite monastery type thing, with a park and pond/lake around it and then some fields. If you hopped over the wall and cut across the field, it would take about 10 minutes off the walk to the local newsagent. The urban legend was that the building was actually a branch of the Dundrum Mental Hospital, and that one of the jobs the prisoners/patients were given was to tend the grounds. The tale goes that two young lads cut through the field one day and were chased down by an inmate, one was never seen again, and the one that got away went grey overnight and never spoke another word :pac:

Banjoxed

That the world would end, in 1985.

*this was in 1975

THEZAPPA

If you didn't behave yourself you'll get a whack from the wooden spoon

Toots

THEZAPPA wrote: »

If you didn't behave yourself you'll get a whack from the wooden spoon

That wasn't a myth

syklops

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Seriously?
Whats with boards.ie or should say After Hours?

Like the thread was made at 7:22pm and that same minute the first reply was taking a popshot at religion? Did you even read the op Drumsteve or couldnt you reply quick enough from reading the thread title?

There are so many pops against religion on here. We get it. Alot of people here are athiest. Who cares

Well a lot of people on boards were brought up catholic, taught in catholic schools, had catholic doctrine forced down their necks and when they became adults they did away with the whole thing. The topic is things that was told to you that turned out to be boll*x. Religion in various forms fits the bill. Quit yet moaning and go have a bit of a pray. I'm sure you will feel better.

Cerveja69

My older sister used to tell me if swallowed even a drop of toothpaste while brushing my teeth, I'd die on the spot. Que me crying my eyes out frantically spitting toothpaste all over the sink after every brush.

She also told me when I was really young that if all my teeth feel out at the same time, I'd get taken to the fairytooth kingdom by the fairy Godmother herself! I was absolutely devastated when my first tooth fell out cos it meant I'd never see the kingdom. I still remember the pain!

Same sister used to cover a knfe with ketchup and drag my other older sister (who'd also be in on it), into the room where I'd be watching cartoons like a corpse and say, with manic eyes - You're next!

What a wonderful sister I had

Jeefff

Eating sausages in the kitchen that my nanny lovingly fried for me, in walks granda and says
''eew do you know what you're eating?''
me: ''yeah sausages''
granda: ''they're pigs willy's, not sausages''
I started crying, coughing up the sausages, and screaming..

syklops

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Huh?
Yet?

Wut?

B.A._Baracus

syklops wrote: »

Wut?

Q: What is so ironic about Atheists?
A: They’re always talking about God :pac:


I'll grab my coat ...

Spunge

Zoroastrianism

LETHAL LADY

Spunge wrote: »

Zoroastrianism

Come again?

Sulla Felix

If we had sex we might catch a disease that turned our willies black and then they'd fall off. Not sure what horrifying disease the girls were supposed to catch, they were taken to another room for that part of the talk.

TheBegotten

When a mammy and daddy love each other very much...

Bear in mind that I was 14 at this stage.

AlanS181824

Maybe it's just me but I was always told that if you blew air in your face, like from a hand pump or whatever you'd get warts.

Also that if you'd eat seeds from fruit a tree would grow in your belly!

WilyCoyote

About the Three Wise Men following a comet that was travelling at the speed of a Camel

Pat Mustard

Pac Man for Atari can cause epilepsy.