So I've converted to Satanism...

Hotfail.com

I've decided that I will let my brain rule from now on, so Satan is my God.

It's the only religion I've ever found that lists Individualism and Pride as primary aspects of their belief system, two things which I believe are vital to leading a happy life. I mean, what's not to like? Why should I let my natural urges (within the law) be oppressed by an old book? It's a religion which strives for progression and advancement instead of backwards thinking and dogma.

What do you think AH? I've never actually been able to discuss this topic in a mature manner before... Here's hoping this is the first time!

shopaholic01

Is it an official conversion? I've heard of it, but didn't know it was a reall thing.


*All hail Lucifer. :pac:

Nemeses

Hotfail.com wrote: »

I've decided that I will let my brain rule from now on, so Satan is my God.

It's the only religion I've ever found that lists Individualism and Pride as primary aspects of their belief system, two things which I believe are vital to leading a happy life. I mean, what's not to like? Why should I let my natural urges (within the law) be oppressed by an old book? It's a religion which strives for progression and advancement instead of backwards thinking and dogma.

What do you think AH? I've never actually been able to discuss this topic in a mature manner before... Here's hoping this is the first time!

Welcome to Hell.

See you soon!

Awkward Badger

Hotfail.com wrote: »

It's a religion which strives for progression and advancement instead of backwards thinking and dogma.

You sure about that ?

endacl

Letting your brain take over? How do your kidneys feel about this?

Joe prim

Do I care? Divil a bit!

Jeefff

In fairness though, how many roman catholics live their lives by the 'old book'?
You could go as far as saying they're more satanic than you :P

Spunge

LaVey Satanism just sounds like objectivism with some latin and satanic imagery and phrases to shock the christian establishment tacked on.

Unless you actually worship and believe in the christian interpretation of satan in which case you'd also have to believe in god, in which case i think you should re-read the bible.

umop.episdn

Should I become a satanist? Maybe I should let my Ouija board decide

Pat Mustard

Spunge wrote: »

Unless you actually worship and believe in the christian interpretation of satan in which case you'd also have to believe in god, in which case i think you should re-read the bible.

The poor misguided OP. I don't know what possessed him.

shopaholic01

It does seem interesting though! :pac:

http://www.churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins.php

Hotfail.com

Spunge wrote: »

LaVey Satanism just sounds like objectivism with some latin and satanic imagery and phrases to shock the christian establishment tacked on.

Unless you actually worship and believe in the christian interpretation of satan in which case you'd also have to believe in god, in which case i think you should re-read the bible.

See, the whole point is lack of worship! I believe that my brain should be able to tell me what I can do with my life instead of being led by the Bible or a similar old book

shopaholic01

Hotfail.com wrote: »

See, the whole point is lack of worship! I believe that my brain should be able to tell me what I can do with my life instead of being led by the Bible or a similar old book

What does your brain tell you to do? :cool:

frag420

Best to let a new book rule you than an old one eh!!

Awkward Badger

Hotfail.com wrote: »

See, the whole point is lack of worship! I believe that my brain should be able to tell me what I can do with my life instead of being led by the Bible or a similar old book

So why are you declaring Satan is your god then ?

Links234

Good for you OP. Hail Satan

Hotfail.com

Awkward Badger wrote: »

So why are you declaring Satan is your god then ?

Because Satan is the closest thing there is to a god I believe in!

Nemeses

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Because Satan is the closest thing there is to a god I believe in!

Jesus, No wonder you're down here..

Satan is not God.
Satan is Satan...

Jeez pet hates

Hotfail.com

Nemeses wrote: »

Jesus, No wonder you're down here..

Satan is not God.
Satan is Satan...

Jeez pet hates

Satan is my god though! God as in something I believe in, not God god, I don't like that god.

Hotfail.com

shopaholic01 wrote: »

It does seem interesting though! :pac:

churchofsatan.com/nine-satanic-sins.php

If you compare them to the Cardinal Sins you'll find they're much more relevant to today's society

catallus

2 Timothy 3:2 - For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy....

Matthew 23:17 - [Ye] fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold?

John 8:44 - Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

Job 1:7
And Jehovah saith unto the Adversary, `Whence comest thou?' And the Adversary answereth Jehovah and saith, `From going to and fro in the land, and from walking up and down on it.'

All very well, but a slippery nipple is something that should give one pause.

Spunge

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Satan is my god though! God as in something I believe in, not God god, I don't like that god.

So you believe God exists but you dont like him ?

gctest50

Nemeses wrote: »

Jesus, No wonder you're down here..

Satan is not God.
Satan is Satan...

Jeez pet hates

Its more like Mcdonnells - Burgerqueen though ?

Except McD > God

Since McD actually exists

Hotfail.com

Spunge wrote: »

So you believe God exists but you dont like him ?

Yes.

Nemeses

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Satan is my god though! God as in something I believe in, not God god, I don't like that god.

Satan Disagrees .

Satan says you believe in Satan. ..Not God. Satan also says you now have to do the washing up this evening as you are annoying him..

......He leaves some manky plates behind too.

P_1

Proselytization is bad um'kay

Spunge

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Yes.

that's a paddlin'

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

Buy a leather sofa. Chicken blood's a devil to get out of fabric.

Gallowglass

all satanists will burn in the pits of hell, you can forget about eternal life

catallus

If satanists are any use at all then they'll be with him in the Ninth Circle of Hell. Dante portrayed it as being covered in ice. Interesting stuff.

shopaholic01

Hotfail.com wrote: »

If you compare them to the Cardinal Sins you'll find they're much more relevant to today's society

Easier to follow anyway!

Gallowglass wrote: »

all satanists will burn in the pits of hell, you can forget about eternal life

For eternity ................. so still an eternal life of sorts.

_Redzer_

The devil is way cooler than god. God is some little bitch boy with self esteem issues that bitches and whines when nobody gives him any attention and punishes people for his own uselessness - like original sin which he created.

Anyway, I'm still a devout believer in Thor, regardless.
Like, have you seen those rock-hard Australian abs??

Tabnabs

If this is what a devil worshipping session is like, then all hail his satanic majesty!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_626byPYZKc

shruikan2553

I created my own version of satanism, forgot what it was about though. If you join mine you can be Grand Wizard.

The Christians saw no sense of irony that they wanted respect but wouldn't respect my new religion because Satan is bad or something.

RDM_83 again

Tabnabs wrote: »

If this is what a devil worshipping session is like, then all hail his satanic majesty!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_626byPYZKc

It has the proper intro unlike the other version

Daddy?

Yes, son.

What does regret mean?

Well son, the funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something that you haven't done.
And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, will you be sure and tell her.......

Pumpkinseeds

OP it's a big commitment and a lot of work, or so I've heard;) Are you sure you wouldn't be more suited to lapsed Catholic who only attends church for baptism, funerals and weddings?:D

LordNorbury

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Because Satan is the closest thing there is to a god I believe in!

One of the core tenets of your new "religion", is that you are the God, it is the practice and belief in self gratification or as it is put in Latin: "Fais Ce Que Tu Voudrais", or "Do as thou Wilt", or "Do as you wish"...

It's great auld craic, enjoy it!

holystungun9

I'm horny, horny, horny,horny.

Frank Lee Midere

Hotfail.com wrote: »

See, the whole point is lack of worship! I believe that my brain should be able to tell me what I can do with my life instead of being led by the Bible or a similar old book

You are clearly following something. There's probably a book attached.

Awkward Badger

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

You are clearly following something. There's probably a book attached.

He's still following the bible he's just doing it wrong.

catallus

holystungun9 wrote: »

I'm horny, horny, horny,horny.

I am also horny. Bet I'm hornier.

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

You are clearly following something. There's probably a book attached.

I think what he's following is the misplaced desire for total individualism; but that desire will, if it manifests itself in truth, reveal itself to be total isolation (one of the definitions of Lucifer).

Frank Lee Midere

Also notice the opt out clause.

Why should I let my natural urges (within the law) be oppressed...

This is a satanist who is not even going to litter.

bodice ripper

LordNorbury wrote: »

as it is put in Latin: "Fais Ce Que Tu Voudrais", or "Do as thou Wilt", or "Do as you wish"...

It's great auld craic, enjoy it!

that is french, surely?

bodice ripper

If I sign up, will I ****ing get taken off the Souls Claimed Forever lists of the catholic church?

Hotfail.com

bodice ripper wrote: »

If I sign up, will I ****ing get taken off the Souls Claimed Forever lists of the catholic church?

Nope.

Frank Lee Midere

bodice ripper wrote: »

If I sign up, will I ****ing get taken off the Souls Claimed Forever lists of the catholic church?

No. You will just be a very bad catholic.

bodice ripper

Frank Lee Midere wrote: »

No. You will just be a very bad catholic.

How many virgins to I have to screw in the Confessional to get the **** out of this outfit?

corner of hells

You follow Satan OP ? Me too .
I'm looking forward to him calling again on Christmas eve , love the carols and decorations too.

Anyway my eldest childhas dyslexia , same as myself.

Satan Claus is coming to town.

wendell borton

Did you really think you can call up the Devil and ask him to behave?

frag420

Is there anything to be said about having another mass??

catallus

There's always something to be said for having another mass.