Not trusted home alone at 18

Hollister11

My parents are going away for a week and insist on me staying with my auntie. I'm 18. I don't want to do this as she will treat me like im a kid.
I won't be able to go out, drink and use the internet without her checking what I'm doing on it.
Any advice on getting out of it

Penny Tration

Tbh, it's your parents' house, so their rules. Until you can afford to move out by yourself and support yourself, you pretty much have to do as you're told.

You could try speaking to them and reassuring them that you won't go nuts or wreck the place, but ultimately it's their decision.

Tokyo

You may be 18, but going by your other thread OP you've also just finished your leaving cert. Which means that in your parents eyes at least, (a) you've just finished school, and (b) they may very well be worried that their house might get used as a party house/dosshouse for a bunch of bored leaving cert students while they are gone, which may or may not be a legitimate concern.

But either way, you're living under their roof, presumably on their dime,so for now you have to live under their rules, however unfair they might be. Try talking to them as an adult about this, but ultimately they have the final call on this as long as you are living there.

Taltos

OP please don't open more than one thread in a short space of time. Generally we close all threads per our Charter, for the moment I am leaving this open but I have closed your other thread. If you are anyway unsure of the rules here please read the charter before posting again.

Taltos

Hollister11

Taltos wrote: »

OP please don't open more than one thread in a short space of time. Generally we close all threads per our Charter, for the moment I am leaving this open but I have closed your other thread. If you are anyway unsure of the rules here please read the charter before posting again.

Taltos

Oh sorry
Didn't realise I couldn't open two threads. The other one is sorted now so that's grand being closed.
Thanks

missguided

As someone the same age as you, when any of my friends parents leave them with a free house, there always seems to be some sort of house party or other friends practically live in the house for the time they're away. That's probably what they're worried about.

Unfortunately it's their house, so not much you can do about it. Could you go stay with a friend, or have a friend your parents trust come stay with you? Or go stay with a relative who isn't as strict as your aunt?

thefeatheredcat

Does your aunt normally treat you like a kid? Have you stayed at hers before recently and experienced that? Or are you just assuming that's how it's going to be?

I've had the opposite to you.. I had to look after the house on my own on several occasions (and still do years later) for a few weeks while my folks were away when I was 18/19. One time was fine, did my own thing, house looked after itself, I looked after myself, hung out with friends and partied but not in my own home (one thing to learn quickly is never host a house party, some people can be utterly disrespectful to the house and wreck the place, and others but very few will stay to help clean up) had a few mishaps myself but nothing too serious and was grand... but another time I had to cope with various mishaps happening that tbh I didn't feel capable of dealing with at all.

Your folks might be worried about parties.... but if you have a party your neighbours will probably know about it and tell your folks afterwards. But they might be worried about your safety or worried about getting broken into with you inside and your capability to look after yourself or the house (and especially if you have any pets) that you'd be on your own all the time for the week without access to transport to go places, or that you'd be without money for food or entertainment. Maybe your aunt won't be treating you like a kid, maybe she might have it in mind to give you a chance to go to interesting places, if you're really bored, or at least she might realise you're 18 now, can go off and do your own thing and need a bit of space/privacy with a few basic ground rules and to make the time worthwhile.

I think maybe you should talk to your parents more about it adult to adult. TBH I would take the approach of changing the attitude and assumption of how bad it will be with your aunt, even if you're not allowed do X and Y if you can show your folks you can survive with those restrictions and aren't going to be a problem for your aunt and not cause her worry and hassle (like you're not going to sneak off and come back plastered at 3am with a bunch of randomers or not come home at all, or have a negative attitude about it all the whole week), maybe they might be open to you being on your own in the house in the future. And probably more so if your aunt afterwards can honestly say that your stay for the week went well for them with you helping with chores and upbeat about being there despite her restrictions. Heck she might even say your folks could trust you with the house alone!

Rubberchikken

Have you given reason in the past for them to not trust you?
It's their house and their rules but if you want your parents to treat you as an adult you have to act like one.
Sit down with them and talk to them also listen to them. Thats important too

Count your self lucky a relative of mine made her 18 year old son live in a sort of chalet/shed at the end of the garden when she went on holidays. it was a small room with a loo attached that they used as play house when the kids were small and it had electricity and he had a kettle and a couch to sleep on that's all no internet or telly. He had to go to his granny for a shower or to cook something which was about a 20 minute walk away, her attitude was there is no way on earth an 18 year old is getting the keys of the house while I am away.

neemish

I used to do a sort of house/teenage sitting for a family I knew....When the parents were away, I would arrive at the house at around 8pm and stay until 10am the next morning. On the way, I would pick up any bread/milk etc needed. There were rules like no overnight guests for the kids, no parties obviously, a curfew. It worked because I knew the family pretty well and the kids stuck to the rules. I was less of a sitter, and more just a presence in the house. We didn't sit looking at each other all night - I watched tv or read. The kids knew I was there if they needed anything.
And there was a few bob in it, which didn't hurt!!

Do you have an older cousin/family friend who your parents could ask to stay? This depends, of course, on you promising not to give them any hassle and whether or not your parents feel they can trust you.