Was this unreasonable or am I overreacting?

anonanon103

My friend and have planned on going away next week to a sporting event. In the beginning I was anxious about it and previously posted about my anxiety on here.
I came round to it though and was looking forward to it but now something else has happened. It was agreed I would book the flights and my friend book the accommodation, she came up with this place which is a student accommodation and they rent the rooms for the summer. IT is cheap but lacks a lot of things and I was not too keen on the idea of staying here because I would prefer somewhere with more security like a hotel and the little luxuries like a television etc as it is my trip too and I dont mind paying extra. I voiced my opinion and asked was there anywhere else to which I got a reply that she was happy and booking it for herself and I can go and book my own since we have "different preferences". I understand her point we wont be in it all that long and there's no point over spending but I am a little hurt that she just went and booked her own place and didnt give a toss for me when we had an agreement. What are your thoughts on this am I overreacting? Thanks

Clearlier

anonanon103 wrote: »

My friend and have planned on going away next week to a sporting event. In the beginning I was anxious about it and previously posted about my anxiety on here.
I came round to it though and was looking forward to it but now something else has happened. It was agreed I would book the flights and my friend book the accommodation, she came up with this place which is a student accommodation and they rent the rooms for the summer. IT is cheap but lacks a lot of things and I was not too keen on the idea of staying here because I would prefer somewhere with more security like a hotel and the little luxuries like a television etc as it is my trip too and I dont mind paying extra. I voiced my opinion and asked was there anywhere else to which I got a reply that she was happy and booking it for herself and I can go and book my own since we have "different preferences". I understand her point we wont be in it all that long and there's no point over spending but I am a little hurt that she just went and booked her own place and didnt give a toss for me when we had an agreement. What are your thoughts on this am I overreacting? Thanks

Chalk it down to experience and next time you plan to go away with someone and share the booking responsibilities make sure that you agree in advance some general parameters.

Ande1975

OP,

Your friend didn't book her own accomodation. You said you would book the flights and she would book the accomodation.
Your friend isn't a mind reader. What if you booked flights that have an early start and your friend hates getting up early? Try to see things from different perspectives.

If its a short trip where you are going to be out and about then, cheap and cheerful is the way to go but if you want something else then, your friend is right, book something for yourself.

In future if you have specific requirements, discuss it before booking anything.

A

anonanon103

Ande1975 wrote: »

OP,

Your friend didn't book her own accomodation. You said you would book the flights and she would book the accomodation.
Your friend isn't a mind reader. What if you booked flights that have an early start and your friend hates getting up early? Try to see things from different perspectives.

We discussed the times of flights going from different airports and I didnt bok anything until we both agreed, the same would have been nice if she done that for me not to just say here I have mind done you can do your own. Even down to parking I consulted her first thats why I think its a bit selfish that she put herself

Pawwed Rig

I think you are looking too closely at this. Every little decision seems to be coming under scrutiny. It is impossible to organise anything with that level of consultation and rechecking. Just go with the flow. The flights are booked, accommodation is booked enjoy your weekend.

It doesn't matter where you stay.

Ande1975

anonanon103 wrote: »

We discussed the times of flights going from different airports and I didnt bok anything until we both agreed, the same would have been nice if she done that for me not to just say here I have mind done you can do your own. Even down to parking I consulted her first thats why I think its a bit selfish that she put herself

So you took responsibility for booking the flights and discussed options with your friend etc and your friend booked accommodation just for her?
That is quite different from what you mentioned in your opening post.

If that is what happened, then you have every right to call her on it.

homemadecider

Are you looking for an excuse not to go? Otherwise I can't imagine why you are focusing so excessively on such tiny details.

I don't think you're overreacting, OP, it's your joint trip and you were splitting stuff. Any joint trips I've done with friends we've discussed everything, not just going off and booking things and saying like it or lump it
I would also not be into cheap basic accomm myself for the reasons you outlined

Chattastrophe!

I'd be mildly peeved but probably wouldn't think it's worth making a big fuss of it.

Is it actually booked already or not? If already booked, can it be cancelled? Have a good look on Trip Advisor yourself, some cheaper hotels can have absolutely fantastic reviews and the reviews are, in my experience, usually pretty accurate. So maybe you could find somewhere nice but not much more expensive.

Alternatively look at hotels close to the place she's booked. If it's only a place for you to sleep and eat breakfast, it doesn't really matter if you're in two separate places, and in fact sometimes it can be nice to get a bit of a break from each other when on holidays.

Were you planning all along on separate rooms, or were you planning on sharing a room? You'd probably get good value if you shared a twin room in a nice hotel, rather than two single rooms in a cheaper place, might be a good compromise?

liz lemoncello

homemadecider wrote: »

Are you looking for an excuse not to go? Otherwise I can't imagine why you are focusing so excessively on such tiny details.

I don't think staying in student accommodation instead of a hotel is small detail.

Also, isn't this whole thing more for the benefit of the OP's friend? Isn't the OP accompanying her? I would think that if that were the case, the friend should be more willing to compromise. I don't staying in two different places, her in a student digs, and the OP in a hotel, makes any sense. In that case, the friend just might as well go alone.

December2012

Thing is there's not much variety price wise between flights.

There can be a huge difference in accommodation costs though. She had her budget - you had yours. I would've been of her ilk - if you aren't happy with what I'm doing feel free to do your own.

retro:electro

Sounds to me like your friend can feel your apprehension about the whole thing and just wants to get the trip over and done with with as minimal cost as possible.

newdriverlad

Have you looked up what accomdation looks like/facilities it has? I know of a lot of budget/student accomdation that has TVs/WiFi/etc. Being homes with you. You don't really go on holidays to watch TV. You can do that at home.

MagicMarker

No, you're not overreacting OP, your mate has acted very childishly imo.

castaway_lady

Presumably this is Wimbledon? Are you the same person who posted last year about having anxiety and your friend wanting to go and queue instead of having tickets in advance (or something like that)??

It's not like its a big trip, does it matter that much where you stay so long as it has a shower and clean bed? If it is London thats involved here accommodation in the city and for a long way around it is expensive as is transport so maybe your friend just couldnt afford your standard of accommodation and this could have been the difference between getting to the event or not. Chalk it up to an adventure, you are overreacting and over-analysing.

CINCLANTFLT

castaway_lady wrote: »

Presumably this is Wimbledon? Are you the same person who posted last year about having anxiety and your friend wanting to go and queue instead of having tickets in advance (or something like that)??

It's not like its a big trip, does it matter that much where you stay so long as it has a shower and clean bed? If it is London thats involved here accommodation in the city and for a long way around it is expensive as is transport so maybe your friend just couldnt afford your standard of accommodation and this could have been the difference between getting to the event or not. Chalk it up to an adventure, you are overreacting and over-analysing.

If it is Wimbledon and so it is London, them I would not fret about summer student residence... I am very picky about hotels but stayed in such a place last summer with no complaintd

meeeeh

Op, I think it was clear from your previous thread that you don't want to go. I think you should stop acting up and tell her so she can maybe find someone else to go with her. Just complain about everything and hope she gets fed up with you and goes on her own is a cowardly way out.

LegacyUser

It sounds like you have absolutely sucked the fun out of the trip for her OP.

Between agonozing over going, Scrutinising every minute detail, she's probably absolutely frustrated at this stage. If it is london, its an hour away, hardly worth what I suspect was a full detailed master plan of flights, the best parking, hotel security, wanting a TV in your room?!

Jeez organising a fun trip is supposed to be you know, fun! The most thought I've ever given such a minor trip to the UK with my friends is what flight is cheaper, okay that'll do, is there a showed in the hostel, yep, great, done!

I'm aware you have anxiety issues OP, but with all due respect, that is your issue alone to deal with, and while allowances can be made and a little understanding of your condition by your friend is expected, there's a differenece between that and expecting her to dance around you and bow to your every need and ott planning because of it. Sounds to me like your dismay that the accommodation didn't meet all your special requirements was the straw that broke the camels back IMHO.