Any point moving, same problems whereever i go?

LegacyUser

Hi,

Mid-twenties female, stuck in a rut in my small hometown, I am considering moving abroad (UK) maybe initially for a few weeks/months, see how I get on with it, but the old phrase,-where I go, there I am- springs to mind.

My social circle has dwindled due to emigration, people going in different directions in life etc,
I wouldn't be the most confident or make friends easily anyway. If I struggle with this here, it will be the same abroad?

I am facing into a long summer in my hometown, with nobody to go anywhere with and most people my age are gone already.

I am feeling so sad, I don't seem to be able to make a life for myself, so what's to say going to the UK will be any better, but I just feel like a change of scene.

R.D. aka MR.D

Have you considered moving to a non-English speaking country?

I live abroad and see a lot of people who would have a lot of difficulty making friends at home thrive because people are more willing to become friends with people they usually wouldn't. You get to meet all sorts of people, too, in expat communities that are super interesting.

If you move somewhere in the UK, it might be a chance to become more involved in social activities. If you move to a city, they will have all sorts of groups you can join.

If you have no commitments here, then i say go for it.

Peanut2011

OP,

As the old saying goes "Doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results = Insanity"

If you want to get out of the circle you are stuck in you must do something different. Unless you change you can't expect anything to change. I know it is easier said than done but you just have to take a leap of fate.

What is the worst it can happen? You can always go back to the life you have now!

SpaceTime

I'm finding the same thing and I'm based in a major Irish city.

Almost my entire social circle is either gone abroad or has become settled and rather boring.

I'm probably going to move just due to sheer boredom at this stage.

I've applied for jobs elsewhere in Europe. Just really, really need a change of scenery!

Merkin

I wouldn't really consider the UK abroad, it's just a hop across the water so wouldn't be a huge difference for you. Unless you wanted to move to a bigger city like London etc which can be quite expensive to socialize in if you're going with the intention of making lots of new friends.

I think the advice of moving properly abroad is a good one. What qualifications do you have? If you have a degree would you consider doing a TEFL course and taking yourself off to Spain or China or somewhere similar? The ex pat lifestyle is conducive to meeting lots of new people and experiencing lots of new things so it might be the shake-up that you need right now.

Mrs Garth Brooks

The UK can be different/better compared to your "small town" like you call it yourself. Depends where you're from and what small town it is and where you move to the UK.

I'd say go for it. You will never know.

Im moving over myself in a few a weeks and like yourself im escaping problems. They say problems follow you. But I had a lifetime of sexist nasty comments/put downs from my own mother. Dragging me down any chance she gets. The recession has me back home and its all the same. My mother will never change. She even made a comment over my move to the UK saying if I stay a week, it'll be a holiday. A week! Thats how much she wants me to fail, back home after a week. She will never be happy for me.

There was alot more abuse too that I would be here all day. But thats my reason. Im not sure I believe that problems follow you. You can also escape them. A new you, new scenery, a brand new start.

You do what makes you happy. Going to the UK is no different than going from Dublin to Cork or Galway to Dublin.

I say go for it.

baby and crumble

My only piece of advice would be that to make new friends anywhere you have to work at it. Just moving to a new city won't magically drop friends into you lap. You have to be prepared to put yourself out there, go to events (wherever you go check out meetup.com for that city, and find a group or 2 that interest you.), ask people to events, etc. Just going to a new place won't solve any problems at all, unless you make other changes too.