refusing toilet/potty..please advise

willow tree

Please advise, refusing toilet/potty Hi. I'd love some feedback. My dd is 3 & 3months. When she was 2&half she started telling us she was doing a poo so we tried her on the toilet & she used it a few times. We were delighted but then she got a bit tetchey so we left it.. big mistake.. She now says, "im going to poo/wee". We offer the toilet, potty but she refuses point blank, we've tried everything, encouragment, treats, reward chart. Nothing works.. we've tried telling her & showing her theres no nappies & she literally goes like someone traumatised, screaming, crying etc. Very upsetting. Honestly not being biased, shes reached all miletones early, shes very bright but theres something about toilet training shes trying to control or.. idk.. any feedback or advice appreciated. Thanks.

implausible

Does she regularly see others using the toilet, especially her peers? That can make a big difference.

I know other people have made a big fuss of going to pick a potty, decorating it and buying character 'grown up' pants, maybe that might work. Letting them go around the house nappyless can work too, especially with a girl, who may not like the mess of the alternative!

The other thing is just common sense - if she's not ready, she's not ready, maybe leave her alone for a few months and try again.

willow tree

Thanks for the reply. Yeah we picked potty & character knickers that she seemed excited about.. she does see kids at playschool but she told her teacher she wont
Also she wont be around the house with no.nappy & if i force her she gets hysterical (so upsetting that i put one on soon after. When have others potty trained, she seems grown up to be in a nappy.

logic

I'm in the same boat except that she is 3 & 7 months. She tells me when she has to go and never wets her nappy during the night but she seems to have a fear of going on the toilet, loves flushing the toilet but just won't go on it. Even gets really upset of she doesn't have a nappy on too. Trying everything I can thing of too. I'm getting to the stage myself of just leaving it for a while and see if she suggests it, not sure what else to do. She'll be starting preschool soon and I would like to her trained by then. Sorry I have no real advice to give, just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat too.

BelleOfTheBall

Guys get them to watch bear and blue house toilet training and elmos potty so!!!on you tube a couple of times of that and if might get them thinking.hope it helps

willow tree

id a reply written, gone! Thanks for the replies. I really appreciate it. Its a relief to hear that logic, i guess they all get there in the end.. just frustrating when i feel shes ready.. i do think seeing peers more will help. I'll definitely check those out on youtube, never even thought of that, she Loves elmo so would be influenced! Thanks again..

willow tree

Just looked at them, they are so cute!

uck51js9zml2yt

I let my son accompany me to the toilet so he sees what goes on.

I also always make it a game when he's on the loo (Is it working ??;) to make it a fun experience which he never grows tired of.

The one thing we never did was use training pants. I was reading last year a piece by a consultant that they actually slow potty training down as the child can rely on the pants when he should be using the toilet. As with a lot of things its a marketing exercise.

Accidents will happen but it should never be an issue.
Hes 3 1/2 and at this stage will tell us he wants to go to the toilet. We keep the door locked to keep him away from chemicals and taps!
He still wears a nappy at night which we are going to get him out of over the summer but even still he will come into us if he wants to go rather than have a wet nappy.

Ms. Pingui

Try no to worry about it. My daughter was the exact same. I tried everything and was really stressed about it. Eventually I just decided to relax about it and took the pressure totally off her. She's four next week and has no problem with it at all now. I think they can pick up when you are stressed or frustrated about it and it can make things worse!