Can't get happy.

ClareP1983

For the past few weeks I have been feeling low.

I can't seem to pin point what is wrong with me but I feel like I am giving up on life. I am not suicidal or anything but feel like my lust for life is gone. I have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me, a full time job that pays ok, and great family and friends. I feel so stupid saying all of this because I don't have a reason to unhappy.

Everyday I just feel bored and flat in myself, I cry myself to sleep every night and when he asks me what is wrong I can't give him a answer because I don't have one.

I really don't want to go down the doctor route and I would be very open to alternative therapies

What do I do to fix myself. Before I go insane. X

Alf Veedersane

Sounds like a trip to the GP might be in order.

bilbot79

I sympathise with you. I think these feelings can come for a variety of different reasons, social, chemical, seasonal, cultural.
Have you recently become settled down? I know it's hard but when we're adults I think we all have a responsibility to reinvent ourselves and keep the fire lit. Everyone needs a sense if purpose, a goal. That can be anything from raising children to making a million.
Are you genuinely happy with your boyfriend? Do you exercise? I would really recommend you train of you have a consistent low feeling.i can't explain it to you but just do it.
Just remember, life is beautiful and doesn't last forever. It's a privilege to feel, even if you feel bad. (I know that's abstracy)

ClareP1983

bilbot79 wrote: »

I sympathise with you. I think these feelings can come for a variety of different reasons, social, chemical, seasonal, cultural.
Have you recently become settled down? I know it's hard but when we're adults I think we all have a responsibility to reinvent ourselves and keep the fire lit. Everyone needs a sense if purpose, a goal. That can be anything from raising children to making a million.
Are you genuinely happy with your boyfriend? Do you exercise? I would really recommend you train of you have a consistent low feeling.i can't explain it to you but just do it.
Just remember, life is beautiful and doesn't last forever. It's a privilege to feel, even if you feel bad. (I know that's abstracy)

Thanks BilBot. Ya I am very happy with my partner, I am shocked he stayed around this long! I don't exercise and I suppose I would be classed as overweight. I am meeting an energy coach in a few weeks and I am going to talk to her about my diet etc.

Thank for taking the time to reply .x

bilbot79

ClareP1983 wrote: »

Thanks BilBot. Ya I am very happy with my partner, I am shocked he stayed around this long! I don't exercise and I suppose I would be classed as overweight. I am meeting an energy coach in a few weeks and I am going to talk to her about my diet etc.

Thank for taking the time to reply .x

10000 steps a day that's how active you should try to be

What would say are the top 3 things you're interested in? Eg my answer would be cars, running and football

ClareP1983

That's it I can't think of anything I am even interested in. I was goggling all morning for part time courses and I don't even know anymore what I am into. I feel like I am lost and don't know who I am. Does that sound silly.

Oryx

This may be more suited to the personal issues forum. Would you like me to move it there?

bilbot79

ClareP1983 wrote: »

That's it I can't think of anything I am even interested in. I was goggling all morning for part time courses and I don't even know anymore what I am into. I feel like I am lost and don't know who I am. Does that sound silly.

No it doesn't sound silly at all. It sounds like you need purpose. I think you should try a few things even if it isn't exactly what's grabbing you. If you work out what you don't like you might realise what you do like.

Oryx

Moved from Health & Fitness. New forum charter now applies

Flippyfloppy

ClareP1983 wrote: »

Thanks BilBot. Ya I am very happy with my partner, I am shocked he stayed around this long! I don't exercise and I suppose I would be classed as overweight. I am meeting an energy coach in a few weeks and I am going to talk to her about my diet etc.

Thank for taking the time to reply .x

Hi couldn't read & not comment- this bit in bold really stuck out. What do you mean by he stayed around this long?

R.D. aka MR.D

Don't wait to exercise, start right now. Even if it's a brisk walk.

I've been feeling really down the last few weeks and i hate my job and just not feeling myself. I'm normally very active but my IBS has been acting up because of the job stress so i've been lazy. This morning, I dragged myself to the gym before work and now i feel a million dollars.

Seriously, get out there and start right now. No excuses.

I've lost 40lb in the last 4 years and it truly changed my life. It has helped in every aspect of my existence including my mental health.

ClareP1983

R.D. aka MR.D wrote: »

Don't wait to exercise, start right now. Even if it's a brisk walk.

I've been feeling really down the last few weeks and i hate my job and just not feeling myself. I'm normally very active but my IBS has been acting up because of the job stress so i've been lazy. This morning, I dragged myself to the gym before work and now i feel a million dollars.

Seriously, get out there and start right now. No excuses.

I've lost 40lb in the last 4 years and it truly changed my life. It has helped in every aspect of my existence including my mental health.

Thanks that's helpful, what made you change your life. Did you find it hard to get motivation?

bilbot79

I find the trick with the gym is not to think about it until you're there. That way motivation is not an issue. You go, think about other stuff on the way. Then when you're there even if you don't feel like doing stag you are inevitably GOING to do sthg. Just get out there, don't think....do

R.D. aka MR.D

ClareP1983 wrote: »

Thanks that's helpful, what made you change your life. Did you find it hard to get motivation?

Motivation is a very difficult thing.

If I am completely honest, it all started after I broke up with a long term boyfriend. I was forced to live at home and do a job that I hated. My friends and coworkers were slim and attractive. I wanted that too. It was strong motivation for me.

it started out as vanity but the health benefits for me are amazing.

I started out walking and now that it's the summer time it's the perfect time for you to start. I would go walking with my Mum and then i wanted more of a challenge so started jogging and then when the weather got cold i just kind of turned into a gym addict. I took swimming lessons too as it was always something that I had enjoyed. I even used to do water aerobics with my mum. Any excuse to exercise!

What's holding you back at the moment?

ClareP1983

I am not sure, I am trying and trying to make myself happy. Its like a million little things that I can't explain. Looking in my life looks lovely but I just don't feel right or happy in myself.

I feel like I have zero energy and my lust for life is gone, for all the world I feel like an 80 year old and I have lived my life.

I can explain it

Mick Murdock

ClareP1983 wrote: »

For the past few weeks I have been feeling low.

I can't seem to pin point what is wrong with me but I feel like I am giving up on life. I am not suicidal or anything but feel like my lust for life is gone. I have a wonderful boyfriend who adores me, a full time job that pays ok, and great family and friends. I feel so stupid saying all of this because I don't have a reason to unhappy.

Everyday I just feel bored and flat in myself, I cry myself to sleep every night and when he asks me what is wrong I can't give him a answer because I don't have one.

I really don't want to go down the doctor route and I would be very open to alternative therapies

What do I do to fix myself. Before I go insane. X

Hi Clare,

I saw your initial post on the health & fitness forum.

I can totally identify with a lot of the things you have said. I felt very similarly for a long time and could never understand it because I didn't feel I had a reason to be unhappy.

In hindsight, there were plenty of reasons for my unhappiness and they were mostly due to the poor choices I was making everyday. I drank very heavily, was overweight (still am a bit), ate poorly and didn't exercise anywhere near enough.

I lived that way for most of my 20's (I'm 28 now) and it really kicked me into the ground. I never liked self pitying so it really annoyed and frustrated me when I looked at everything I had and I still felt depressed and unhappy. Reading some of your posts I suspect your outlook is somewhat similar. You are trying to focus on the good and not the bad and that will serve you well when you are feeling better.

Exercise never interested me. I didn't believe people when they told me it would help, that there was a magic natural high from it, but there really is. It's great that you are being proactive and have made the appointment to look at your diet etc. It's as good a starting place as any.

I hoped for this to make a lot more sense, but I'm half working, half typing this and my thoughts are fleeting.

I will check back and post anything I think is helpful.

Mick.

ClareP1983

Mick Murdock wrote: »

Hi Clare,

I saw your initial post on the health & fitness forum.

I can totally identify with a lot of the things you have said. I felt very similarly for a long time and could never understand it because I didn't feel I had a reason to be unhappy.

In hindsight, there were plenty of reasons for my unhappiness and they were mostly due to the poor choices I was making everyday. I drank very heavily, was overweight (still am a bit), ate poorly and didn't exercise anywhere near enough.

I lived that way for most of my 20's (I'm 28 now) and it really kicked me into the ground. I never liked self pitying so it really annoyed and frustrated me when I looked at everything I had and I still felt depressed and unhappy. Reading some of your posts I suspect your outlook is somewhat similar. You are trying to focus on the good and not the bad and that will serve you well when you are feeling better.

Exercise never interested me. I didn't believe people when they told me it would help, that there was a magic natural high from it, but there really is. It's great that you are being proactive and have made the appointment to look at your diet etc. It's as good a starting place as any.

I hoped for this to make a lot more sense, but I'm half working, half typing this and my thoughts are fleeting.

I will check back and post anything I think is helpful.

Mick.

Hi Mick,

Thanks you for taking the time to come back to me, it does make an awful lot of sense what you are saying ~ I just need to get out of the rut I am in and get a little active and look at my diet and if that doesn't help then maybe go see someone. My boyfriend is being very supportive and its hard on him when I am crying and I can't tell him what;s wrong.

Baby steps eh x

R.D. aka MR.D

I understand what it feels like not to want to do anything and honestly, if you are the point where you don't even feel like going for a short walk say 20mins, (I'm not talking about a power walk like you see people out doing but even a 20min stroll to get started.) then it really is time to go see your GP.

It can be scary and you might think that he/she will dismiss your concerns but they are there to help. I don't know about you but i'm from the countryside and always went to the doctors in the local town. God, i hated them! They were all old men. When i went to college in Dublin, i always went to see young female doctors because i had the choice. After being home recently, i realised that there are loads of new young wonderful doctors in my local town. So if you don't like the doctor you went to try to see a different one.

I live abroad so have no idea what the weather is like at home at the minute but if you are getting any bit of dry weather you should try to make the most of it.

You say that your boyfriend is supportive, that's great! what do you guys do together for fun? Before i lived with my current OH, when we were hanging out we were being active. We went walking/hiking/cycling. Even now sometimes we just walk for 4hours and chat. Get you OH involved in you being a bit more active, it makes it all more fun.

You know yourself that crying yourself to sleep is no way to be living. Go see your doctor and see where that leads. If you really really really really don't want to do that then give being active a go.
Don't put it off until tomorrow. Do it now, it's as good a time as any.

And one last cheesy inspirational line (i like it though): every day is a new day to change your life.

ClareP1983

Hi. R.D, my partner is actually down with me tonight so we are going to go for a long walk and chat, and from today I am going changing my diet and see does it work. I am still as weapy as before so I dunno, I don't want to put it down to hormones as that seems to be the easy answer. If I don't feel better in a week or so after the fresh air/walking and better diet I will go and see her.

I have only spoke to a handful of my friends about this, one being a mental health nurse and she said exactly what everyone is saying, start with the basics, am i getting enough exercise, is my diet ok and am i sleeping ok, try and correct these first and then go see someone.

Thanks for your help X

Molly999

Don't really know what to say as I am going through my own issues at the moment. But just want to say good luck. I hope things start to feel better for you soon. Sounds like you deserve it

ClareP1983

Thanks Molly, They say it gets easier. Hope your issues will too. I find this site great for "ranting" as its anonymous. X

Rubberchikken

Definitely try some exercise.
It might sound silly, but a good walk, or some gym time will show results fairly quickly.