Boyfriend's previous behaviour

LegacyUser

I'd really appreciate other people's opinions on this. My boyfriend and I are together almost four years, (both early 30s) we've just got engaged and are planning to marry next year. It's definitely the best relationship either of us have had, we get on brilliantly, are really good friends as well as being mad into each other. We've even started a business together which is going well. We knew we wanted to get married and have kids etc but when he proposed last month it was still a happy surprise as we hadn't said when and the last few weeks have been lovely and emotional etc.

Early on in our relationship,when we were kind of going from just seeing each other to realising we wanted to be serious, I snooped on his Facebook, I'm not sure why, maybe it was the move towards becoming serious that made me want to check up on him. Anyway, I obviously found stuff that annoyed me because you always will if you snoop on someone I guess. He had still been messaging girls on and off up until I agreed to become "exclusive". Just flirting and mildly trying to setup dates. I actually didn't mind this so much because I know he wasn't sure of what I wanted for awhile in the beginning. But what bothered me much more, was his interaction online with his male friends. It was like reading the writings of someone I didnt know and certainly didn't like. I'm not naive, I've more male friends than girl friends, I know how they talk but bloody hell this was relentless misogynistic "banter". From rape jokes, to constantly arranging to meet in strip clubs (he used to live in London, they'd literally finish work and go to those pubs where the girl goes around with the pint glass and you've to put a pound in or something) to sending each other links to stuff like Stripping Age in Canada is 16!!! and then commenting Sweeeeeet! Next holiday sorted, lads. I admitted that I had invaded his privacy and he was mortified and said it's just bullsh!t chat. They're not dumb jock type blokes either, they vary from average to nerd to hipster types. Anyway, I got over it. Mostly because it was before we were together. But for some reason, it's come up in my head again recently. I can only guess that it's something to do with getting engaged. It was bothering me so much that I went into his facebook and read them all again. I haven't done anything like that since the first time. There was another message my boyfriend sent to three other friends about the Brazilian world cup. The four of them had been to the last one and had talked about going again, so he sent them a link to an article on how underage girls were being recruited for sex work, and commented "This should kickstart the world cup plans!". Now, there was actual talk of them going to the world cup this year but it fell by the wayside.

I don't know really what reassurance I'm looking for. It's obviously stupid to be annoyed over something that was said before I was with him but I think a little voice inside me is saying But is that who he is or something. I have no reason to believe he still goes on like this and he has said in the past it was a phase of his life, when he and his mates were all out of uni and earning money and just enjoying themselves I suppose. It's just the relentlessness of it. Also, I'd say 80 per cent of this kind of chat was started by my boyfriend. At that stage, they didn't seem to relate to each other on any other level except GIRRLLLLS! We generally have a very honest relationship. I would hate to think that I was in one of those relationships where it's one way for the Mrs and another when he's with the lads. I suppose I'm just wondering do (some) guys really talk absolute sh!t that they don't mean and if so, can they really grow out of it?

Sorry it's so long. Thanks for reading.

CaraMay

When was that message about Brazil?

I guess I just think a lot if people in relationships have two personalities as such and no matter how long you are with certain people you may never know the true person.

LegacyUser

Thanks for replying. The comment about Brazil was before me too. The talk about actually seeing through the plan to go was when we were together last year. See, that's the thing I'm wondering about I think, I do feel like I know the true him and I feel like he has probably grown up. But if he had said any of this out loud before I had met him, I just wouldn't have been interested in him. He probably wouldn't have said it in front of me to be fair and to be honest, I'm not even sure he would go on like this out loud even with just his friends. It's as if they had this platform on group facebook chats to just run riot in terms of banter.In reality, they are for the most part decent blokes. I'm close to a few of them myself now and we've relatively honest relationships right across the board. They'd all admit to having had average success with women so it's not like they were all players or anything like that and they're mostly settled down now.
I just really, really hate some of the stuff he's said. It doesn't sit right with me. But I'm not sure 1) if I'm right to be annoyed 2) how to get past it and 3) why it's come back to bother me at all.

CaraMay

So when did he send the article

Czarcasm

Saturday Girl wrote: »

We generally have a very honest relationship.

"Generally" have a good relationship? OP reading your post it sounds like you wouldn't trust your boyfriend as far as you could throw him. I mean, think about it - you're checking up on his facebook and getting worried about reading stuff he's posted between friends (that's not to say he's not a complete ass for posting stuff like that in public, but I'll come to that in a minute). Are you as honest with your boyfriend as you expect him to be with you though? Have you mentioned it to him that you're thinking about this stuff again?

I would hate to think that I was in one of those relationships where it's one way for the Mrs and another when he's with the lads.

You're in one, and you've willing been in it for the last four years. You chose to be in it though, when at the time you found out he was like this was the time you should've been saying to yourself "OK, I'm not cool with this, I don't like the misogyny and the way he talks about women and just the generally creepy vibe I get off his online persona", but you mention that he and his friends are more like a group of geeky hipster nerds than any kind of seriously creepy Elliott Rodgers style stuff, so already unconsciously you're accepting that his online persona isn't really who he is as a person.

I suppose I'm just wondering do (some) guys really talk absolute sh!t that they don't mean and if so, can they really grow out of it?

Sorry it's so long. Thanks for reading.

Honestly OP, if I'd a dime for every time I read something asinine posted by someone close to me on social media that I knew wasn't them as a person...

People come out with all sorts of shìt and post all sorts of shìt on social media that they wouldn't say in company because all too often they engage their fingers before they engage their brains, so you have examples like someone related to me posting new baby pictures for likes, and then a week later they're sharing a page called "Do you ever just want to walk away from it all?", or someone again related to me posting an angry tirade about what Kim Kardashian said about Ireland, as reported by Waterford Whispers (WW is a pisstake website!), and that's just what my wife tells me, even though I've told her numerous times I don't want to know (my brain isn't calibrated to handle that level of utterly insane stupidity!).

The thing is though, to talk to my relatives offline (I'm not on Facebook, hence my wife feeling the need to inform me of the latest spectacular brain farts from my relatives, even though I've begged her to spare me! :pac:), they're far more articulate and intelligent than I am, and you'd never imagine you were talking to the same person, and I reckon that's what your boyfriend is like - he doesn't actually have any regard to how his online brain farts may be interpreted or perceived by those closest to him, such as yourself, and his family too I'm sure are very proud of their sexually frustrated sibling, not in the least bit embarrassing, at all, at... all.

You should sit your boyfriend down OP and make him aware that while some people don't take his online postings seriously, there are people that do, and it's embarrassing for you to have to read that stuff, let alone if anyone else were to read it, and while some people do indeed grow out of feeling a ferocious need for attention they had in their teenage years, some people really don't.

Where ever your boyfriend is on that spectrum is purely a judgement call that only you can make. How much of your boyfriend's behavior are you willing to put up with, before you've had enough, if your boyfriend refuses to consider your opinion? Are you willing to trust that he HAS changed, or will you always be on tenterhooks wondering when his next brain fart will be?

Pawwed Rig

OP I am not sure that anybody could stand up to the level of scrutiny that you are exposing your boyfriend to. We have all said and done things in our past which we would rather forget. We have all made mistakes that we have learned from. We all have a different sense of humour.

I can't believe the invasion of privacy here. If I had just got serious with a girl and found out she had invaded my privacy the way you have done it would have been an instant dealbreaker in the relationship. You had no right to do it and the fact that he didn't make a big deal about it would seem to indicate he is fairly easy going.

Would you tell him about all the private chats you have had? Or how about showing him this thread? Privacy is still important in a relationship. It shows a level of trust.

Queen-Mise

OP - your partner was talking trash and we have all done it. The problem is that you're taking the trash talk seriously.
My husband said he got married not dead, he still appreciates a beautiful woman, and I have no issue with it. As I still appreciate a good looking man. I'd imagine my husband talks trash when around other men too, it is not just sport they talk about :rolleyes:

I'd have a good, hard, look at yourself and see if you are the one that is having doubts and are looking for any excuse to jump ship.

Trust your gut instincts and stop complicating with your head.

Lou.m

Saturday Girl wrote: »

I'd really appreciate other people's opinions on this. My boyfriend and I are together almost four years, (both early 30s) we've just got engaged and are planning to marry next year. It's definitely the best relationship either of us have had, we get on brilliantly, are really good friends as well as being mad into each other. We've even started a business together which is going well. We knew we wanted to get married and have kids etc but when he proposed last month it was still a happy surprise as we hadn't said when and the last few weeks have been lovely and emotional etc.

Early on in our relationship,when we were kind of going from just seeing each other to realising we wanted to be serious, I snooped on his Facebook, I'm not sure why, maybe it was the move towards becoming serious that made me want to check up on him. Anyway, I obviously found stuff that annoyed me because you always will if you snoop on someone I guess. He had still been messaging girls on and off up until I agreed to become "exclusive". Just flirting and mildly trying to setup dates. I actually didn't mind this so much because I know he wasn't sure of what I wanted for awhile in the beginning. But what bothered me much more, was his interaction online with his male friends. It was like reading the writings of someone I didnt know and certainly didn't like. I'm not naive, I've more male friends than girl friends, I know how they talk but bloody hell this was relentless misogynistic "banter". From rape jokes, to constantly arranging to meet in strip clubs (he used to live in London, they'd literally finish work and go to those pubs where the girl goes around with the pint glass and you've to put a pound in or something) to sending each other links to stuff like Stripping Age in Canada is 16!!! and then commenting Sweeeeeet! Next holiday sorted, lads. I admitted that I had invaded his privacy and he was mortified and said it's just bullsh!t chat. They're not dumb jock type blokes either, they vary from average to nerd to hipster types. Anyway, I got over it. Mostly because it was before we were together. But for some reason, it's come up in my head again recently. I can only guess that it's something to do with getting engaged. It was bothering me so much that I went into his facebook and read them all again. I haven't done anything like that since the first time. There was another message my boyfriend sent to three other friends about the Brazilian world cup. The four of them had been to the last one and had talked about going again, so he sent them a link to an article on how underage girls were being recruited for sex work, and commented "This should kickstart the world cup plans!". Now, there was actual talk of them going to the world cup this year but it fell by the wayside.

I don't know really what reassurance I'm looking for. It's obviously stupid to be annoyed over something that was said before I was with him but I think a little voice inside me is saying But is that who he is or something. I have no reason to believe he still goes on like this and he has said in the past it was a phase of his life, when he and his mates were all out of uni and earning money and just enjoying themselves I suppose. It's just the relentlessness of it. Also, I'd say 80 per cent of this kind of chat was started by my boyfriend. At that stage, they didn't seem to relate to each other on any other level except GIRRLLLLS! We generally have a very honest relationship. I would hate to think that I was in one of those relationships where it's one way for the Mrs and another when he's with the lads. I suppose I'm just wondering do (some) guys really talk absolute sh!t that they don't mean and if so, can they really grow out of it?

Sorry it's so long. Thanks for reading.

Do you think he has a inappropriate feelings for underage girls?

Do you have a gut instinct about him that something is wrong?

Is this simply a laddish phase or something more sinister?

I think that is what your issue is no?

This is really up to you. You know him well. No doubt if it was some strange guy and on his FB page were a load of rape jokes you be ok see ya. But this is your boyfriend you know him.

Also this depends on your sensitivity to that. I have been through some bad experiences and so things like that upset me and trigger me deeply. I tend to form feelings of anxiety, fear anger and disgust for that type of stuff so i just leave it alone.

Also when you say snoop ?? Do you mean you looked at his page or actually went into his account? Don't go into peoples accounts.

I would say what you did to him and say sorry for snooping and discuss why the stuff makes you uncomfortable or something.

Are you asking if your BF is a depraved pervert??? Well you know him best.

He might be ..he might not be.

By the way if you DID log into his account you really should tell him and say sorry so he can change passwords etc.

Faith

Putting aside all of your boyfriends past behaviours (because it's quite far in the past), I'll say this: I got engaged in February. I adore my fiancé, but in the last 3 months, I've thought "feckit, is he actually right for me? Am I making a huge mistake?" More times than I've thought it in the last 3 years. Getting engaged changes things. Everything suddenly becomes more real for both of you. We have way more little fights at the moment, and that's pretty common from what I've heard. We've both admitted to being nervous about getting married. It's the biggest commitment you can make! So I'd wonder are your nerves just related to the engagement, more than your boyfriends stupid comments that were made several years ago?

Have you ever been out with him and his friends? Has he been like that (super laddish) in the last few years? Is he actually still the same or has he grown out of that?

professore

Sounds like he's just doing the whole bull****ting male bravado talking. If you find him searching for child porn that would be a different matter. Women do the same kind of banter about men when they get together.

To be honest sounds like you are a control freak - how would you react if you discovered he was reading your private Facebook messages - or this boards account? Or to put it another way - would you be happy to tell him you were snooping in his Facebook account?

Marriage is all about trust and openness - of which you clearly have neither - so you should think long and hard about it. You will have to go through all sorts of crap together, and without trust and openness on both sides you won't last long.

You also have unrealistic expectations for him ... He's a man, not some sort of floppy haired Hugh Grant character from a rom com.

CaraMay

I don't know why you assume it's bravado or banter... There are paedophiles out there who want underage girls and who will be going to Brazil with the intention of having them.

Why assume it's all a joke? Maybe the only difference between them and him is the fact he isn't going. He clearly condones underage porn. There are people out there who indulge in underage porn and sex - why assume he isn't one of them? It's somebody's fiancé / husband / father / brother so it don't get why you assume it isn't this guy.

Jokes about rape - nasty!

Mickey Dazzler

You completely invaded his privacy (twice). He is the one who should be worried about you.

I would've dumped you on the spot.

Outrageous.

strobe

Sounds just like silly college lads banter and joking and being 'ladish'. Yes most men grow out of it. I'd forget about it. Like another poster said, its only natural to be freaking out a bit after getting engaged and reexamining things etc. There's nothing that unusual or out there about the things you mention in terms of daft young men being daft young men.

It should go without saying, but obviously stop invading your husband to bes privacy. How would you feel if he was snooping through your phone, email, Facebook?

Penny Tration

I think you're the one in the wrong here, OP.

You completely invaded not only his privacy, but the privacy of the people he was talking to.

You found laddish banter (and believe me, my boyfriend would say similar rubbish to his mates), and are freaking out for no reason. Understandably, you got a shock, but it's stupid banter.

Your partner WILL be different with you than he is with the lads. That's normal, nothing to be concerned about. I'm completely different with my bf than I am with my mates.

But why did you feel the need to read his private messages, not once, but twice? What were you so suspicious of?

It doesn't bode well for your future if you don't trust him, which you don't if you felt the need to invade his privacy.

LegacyUser

Thanks so much to everyone who took the time to reply.

I don't know how to quote posters so I'll have to just address points individually.

I know, and knew in the first place, how wrong it is to invade his privacy and I didn't feel right either time. That's why I told him immediately the first time. What led me to do it that time was I had an inkling that there were other girls around. And there were but not to the extent that I could be worried or bothered as we hadn't decided if we were going to make a real go of it and anyway I could see for myself that he was phasing the chat out with her (he had met her before me and just been on a couple of dates). So that's why I looked and got shocked by the other stuff. (not excusing any of this, just to be clear) So when we spoken about it, he wasn't outraged that I had snooped because he understood that I had sensed he wasn't being entirely honest with me, so we both apologised and worked it out.

I gave those examples as they were up there with the ones that shocked me, as they were about teenagers. For the most part, the chat was about women in general. I didn't mean to imply I think he's a pervert or paedophile in anyway. I don't think he condones underage porn, the article he linked them to was a news report.

You've all really made me think, especially Pawwed Rig when you said most people couldn't stand up to that level of scrutiny. It really resonated with me. Also, Faith, it's a relief to hear that you've felt a bit funny since getting engaged too. I do think it's all connected somehow. my feeling this way, but I couldn't work it out. Yes I have been out with his friends, I'm always out with them actually, one thing he said about us is that he wants his friends to know that we're mates as well as boyfriend and girlfriend, apparently he always kept his previous girlfriends separate. I get on with them all and am almost friends with one or two of them in my own right now too. They're not super laddish, they say laddish stuff sometimes but I don't take it too seriously when I'm with them. I guess it looks worse in writing maybe?

Someone also said I sound like a control freak and I agree! Some kind of fear has crept in on me the last few weeks I think. I feel like it's some kind of fear of being let down or something.I must be having some kind of overwhelmed reaction to getting engaged. I will tell him I've looked at the old messages again. Or maybe I will show him the thread so he can start questioning whether or not HE'S doing the right thing marrying me!

Thanks again for the replies.x

skallywag

I think that you are completely in the wrong here OP, and I genuinely feel very sorry for the man who has proposed to you. Hopefully he will see your true colours before the big day and kick you into touch.

Tasden

Saturday Girl wrote: »

Someone also said I sound like a control freak and I agree! Some kind of fear has crept in on me the last few weeks I think. I feel like it's some kind of fear of being let down or something.I must be having some kind of overwhelmed reaction to getting engaged. I will tell him I've looked at the old messages again.

But the first time you invaded his privacy was in the early days, not as a result of the engagement?? I get what you mean about getting panicky as a result of the engagement but it seems like its being used as a cop out here almost.

I'd be the first to admit how difficult it is to trust- especially if you've discovered something that places a seed of doubt; and if I'm honest I personally feel very vulnerable awarding my oh the level of trust I do because lets face it you never fully know somebody and if you trust them you are leaving yourself open to hurt and being let down; but the way you're acting now in your effort to find proof that he is trustworthy (or that he is untrustworthy really) is actually betraying the trust he has placed in YOU. You're doing exactly what you're hoping he wont do to you. You're betraying him and letting him down. He's trusting you not to invade his privacy and you have.

If you cant trust him then why are you planning to share a life with him and have children with him?

Lou.m

professore wrote: »

Sounds like he's just doing the whole bull****ting male bravado talking. If you find him searching for child porn that would be a different matter. Women do the same kind of banter about men when they get together.

To be honest sounds like you are a control freak - how would you react if you discovered he was reading your private Facebook messages - or this boards account? Or to put it another way - would you be happy to tell him you were snooping in his Facebook account?

Marriage is all about trust and openness - of which you clearly have neither - so you should think long and hard about it. You will have to go through all sorts of crap together, and without trust and openness on both sides you won't last long.

You also have unrealistic expectations for him ... He's a man, not some sort of floppy haired Hugh Grant character from a rom com.

I don't and certainly none of my friends do ...It is not a phenomenon I am familiar with.

I would say it is very alienating to the opposite gender.

Lou.m

By the way they are BOTH in the wrong here.

I actually think you need to sort stuff out.

You both seem to have extremely self serving agendas.

Are both of you mature enough for marriage?

If he behaves differently with his mates to with you to a HUGE degree I would note that. Keeping girlfriends separate is a worry.

This is what I mean by being alienating to the opposite gender. He obviously has not many female friends. And this group bonds sometimes over behavior that is not in women's favor. To what degree that is the case might be an issue for me.

Visiting a strip joint a couple of things is one thing...visiting a strip club in prague ( i.e a brothel) is another. Underage strippers is obviously concerning.


Also just because one person is in the wrong doesn't mean the other person isn't.

But WHY did you have the gut instinct to snoop? It is very wrong that you did. But the fact that you felt you needed to maybe suggests you have a feeling about this man that you need settled before you go on.

I think you have issues you need to address with him and also you should respect his boundaries.

Discuss whether or not you two as a couple and as people are ready.

Also as regards his friends ....people are the company they keep. I never snoop....I don't need to.

MagicMarker

CaraMay wrote: »

I don't know why you assume it's bravado or banter... There are paedophiles out there who want underage girls and who will be going to Brazil with the intention of having them.

Why assume it's all a joke? Maybe the only difference between them and him is the fact he isn't going. He clearly condones underage porn. There are people out there who indulge in underage porn and sex - why assume he isn't one of them? It's somebody's fiancé / husband / father / brother so it don't get why you assume it isn't this guy.

Jokes about rape - nasty!

Someone who has sex with a 16 year old isn't a pedophile. And making a stupid comment on facebook about underage sex workers doesn't mean he actually condones and supports the exploitation of children. Some people are just able to joke about serious matters.

I'd say you'd be surprised about the shíte that men joke about away from the wimmen folk.

CaraMay

MagicMarker wrote: »

Someone who has sex with a 16 year old isn't a pedophile. And making a stupid comment on facebook about underage sex workers doesn't mean he actually condones and supports the exploitation of children. Some people are just able to joke about serious matters.

I'd say you'd be surprised about the shíte that men joke about away from the wimmen folk.

Did you see the underage prostitutes in Brazil bit. At best he is a mysognist and at worst a perv.

Thee was an article in today's paper about the number of prostitutes being flown into Brazil and how so many if them were underage. Someone is at it so why not him and his buddies

LegacyUser

A friend just responded to me about a holiday that it'd all be drugs and hookers. It was a joke. That's the way guys sometimes joke. I know that he won't be doing that on holidays.

Another group of friends and I have a running joke about ladyboys. If you were to read the interactions we have on FB messaging, you'd swear that we all wanted to get with ladyboys. We don't. We just have a running joke.

None of the above is ever mentioned in the company of women...

I'm sure your fella is just the same as a lot of other guys.

MagicMarker

CaraMay wrote: »

Did you see the underage prostitutes in Brazil bit. At best he is a mysognist and at worst a perv.

I did see that. Without further information your conclusions are completely unfounded. Sometimes people just joke about that kind of stuff, that's all it is.

Idbatterim

whether it is just bravado or he would choose to act on it, its pathetic in the extreme either way. Id like to see how males would feel about this if the roles were reversed, fairly disgusted Id say. Easy to post stuff up here, not get emotional, playing devils advocate when you havent experienced it first hand...

Lou.m

Idbatterim wrote: »

whether it is just bravado or he would choose to act on it, its pathetic in the extreme either way. Id like to see how males would feel about this if the roles were reversed, fairly disgusted Id say. Easy to post stuff up here, not get emotional, playing devils advocate when you havent experienced it first hand...

Here here.

Who knows whether the rest of his character outweighs it. And she should not have breached his privacy but for those of us who survive abuse and this stuff it is not going to sound funny. It sounds menacing and perverse. It's perhaps why he kept private jokes private though.

It possibly was to avoid offense.

--LOS--

Hi op, I can relate to this a bit. And I just want to tell you he probably has grown up now, he has already said himself that it was just nonsense. People can and do change so give him a chance. This is still gnawing away at you, and understandably so, those kinds of things can be red flags. So you really need to talk this through with him again rather than let it fester.

Lou.m

--LOS-- wrote: »

Hi op, I can relate to this a bit. And I just want to tell you he probably has grown up now, he has already said himself that it was just nonsense. People can and do change so give him a chance. This is still gnawing away at you, and understandably so, those kinds of things can be red flags. So you really need to talk this through with him again rather than let it fester.

Words of wisdom.

Mr. Incognito

I really don't see why the contents make any difference.

He could have been talking bout maddie McCann jokes and sending death threats to the queen.

You hacked his Facebook. WTF.

I would dump you. His mistake was forgiving you / condoning it the first time.

If a lad was doing that to his fiancé the vitriol on here would melt my iPad.

Controlling freak behaviour springs to mind.

curlzy

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

You hacked his Facebook. WTF.

I don't think she did hack his account? I thought she just read his old posts, on his wall like?

Mr. Incognito

curlzy wrote: »

I don't think she did hack his account? I thought she just read his old posts, on his wall like?

She logged into his account and read his private messages. She doesn't say how she did this.

Lou.m

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

She logged into his account and read his private messages. She doesn't say how she did this.

That is pretty scary right there.

I can't even imagine what mind frame someone would be in to do that.

I know what he said was awful but I am sure there were also messages that were private for a reason personal problems and such or convos with friends and family.

Why does someone think she has the right to go through that?

What pushed the OP there I don't know ..but it's awful...and WHY?

Now that I think of it she said she was snooping...as if it is casual...like she had done it before or something?

And yes what he said was alarming there is no question.

But there must have been other stuff. And WHY did you snoop anyway?

Has she done this in other relationships or just with this one being engaged?

It just seems like an unhealthy dynamic between them.

What if he had been discussing other things ...like I dunno he was depressed or sad or his dreams or friends had been telling him THEIR problems?? And you would know all that ...

People reveal publicly what they want to.

Saying that though ...you have seen this now...and it's not pretty....but surely you must have known something before and really did not need to snoop...? You must have had a feeling or why did you do it in the first place?

Also it is not healthy for the OP's piece of mind to do this.

stickybookmark

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

She logged into his account and read his private messages. She doesn't say how she did this.

Shur that's easy...most people don't log off facebook they just close the screen down. So the next person that opens facebook it automatically opens up, logged in to the previous user's page.

My boyfriend is always doing that (and for his hotmail as well!!) I have ample opportunity to read his facebook messages but I just go up to 'log off' and log myself in. To be honest I've no interest in reading his facebook messages. I've better things to be doing and so should you OP....

skallywag

stickybookmark wrote: »

...most people don't log off facebook they just close the screen down. So the next person that opens facebook it automatically opens up, logged in to the previous user's page. ...

That's very true.

As a habit I would always clear the password history once I leave my computer, you can do it in one second flat once you get used to it, i.e. :

CTRL+SHIFT+DELETE then ENTER key.

stickybookmark

skallywag wrote: »

That's very true.

As a habit I would always clear the password history once I leave my computer, you can do it in one second flat once you get used to it, i.e. :

CTRL+SHIFT+DELETE then ENTER key.

That's a handy one!