Neighbours kids-bunch of whankers

Specialun

I live in an estate with around 15 houses in a circle.my house as at tne end

Bascailly the early houses have a number of kids..around 6 or 7

Ive no issue with the playing in the green as sure thats what its for..but lately the seem to want to play in my front garden..i would be sitting in my living room and they look in tne window to me..if i was having a stoke they would wreck the moment for me...they even left their toys in my garden or else behind the car

Should i tell their parents(some are ok) that their kids should fookoff from my garden or am i a tosser if i do that

Tbh i just dont want them in the garden as their annoying and if they fall or hurt themselves then it could be an issue

Well AH am i a dickhead for wanting them to fookoff or should them and the parents be more respectful of other residents and control the kids

the_syco

Specialun wrote: »

they even left their toys in my garden or else behind the car

Throw the rubbish into the bin. Cover the rubbish with a bottle or two of hot sauce.

_Redzer_

You know you're getting on in the years when you're shouting at kids to get off your lawn

The kids shouldn't be playing in your garden. Next time you see them, politely tell them they can't play there.

Pat Mustard

Nah. They're not your kids. They're somebody else's problem.

Get off my lawn ftw.

shedweller

Reverse over their toys.

Sir Oxman

Kill them.
They're already feral annoying and killable.

Real advice - yes, tell their parents to get them the fúck away from your garden, in a more diplomatic way.
Man up.

_Redzer_

shedweller wrote: »

Reverse over their toys.

Better yet, reverse over a few of the kids. The rest will get the message and feck off

Ruu

Play in their garden, see how they like it!

kingchess

if you tell them to fuuuk off,they will delight in annoying you as you enjoy yourself-maybe you should have a auld stroke where they can see you-that way you will get the parents attention and then they will keep the kids away from you,

ScottStorm

Specialun wrote: »

if i was having a stoke they would wreck the moment for me...

A stoke?

Anyway, Try having a word with their parents, the kids should not be on your property or peering through your windows.

shruikan2553

Go and talk to them naked. The parents will make sure they go nowhere near your house.

corner of hells

Go and look in your neighbours windows , see what's going on , maybe climb a ladder and look in their bedroom windows.
There are paths you can choose OP .

Duckworth_Luas

Specialun wrote: »

i would be sitting in my living room and they look in tne window to me..if i was having a stoke they would wreck the moment for me

If you weren't masturbating and were having an actual stroke they may be able to alert the adults!

Alf. A. Male

Put yourself on the sex offenders register and the parents will soon have the kids off your lawn. How you're gonna get the parents off the lawn I don't know, I can only solve one problem at a time.

Mrs Garth Brooks

Get a rottwellier dog. Looks vicious. Scare the kids away.

buffalo

Specialun wrote: »

I live in an estate with around 15 houses in a circle.my house as at tne end

I'm just confused as to how your house is at the end of a circle...

Specialun

Oh i forgot to mention that i have a lab dog..a cutie

The kids often ring my doorbell asking if i can bring them the dog so tney can rub her

EyeSight

politely ask them to not play there. I stress the word "politely"
Otherwise they'll grow up thinking of you as "that pri*k at the end of the street who hates our fun". Then good luck when they become rebellious teenagers

SEPT 23 1989

Specialun wrote: »

Oh i forgot to mention that i have a lab dog..a cutie

The kids often ring my doorbell asking if i can bring them the dog so tney can rub her

O dear

Vito Corleone

Molest them.

Balmed Out

Their kids doing the same crap you did, I hope they move onto run away knock and egging pronto.

Arthur Beesley

Specialun wrote: »

..if i was having a stoke they would wreck the moment for me...

A stoke on Trent?

Greenmachine

Sign that read.
"Myself and my rottweiler reserve the right to bite children that stray onto my property"

Mrs Garth Brooks

Specialun wrote: »

Oh i forgot to mention that i have a lab dog..a cutie

The kids often ring my doorbell asking if i can bring them the dog so tney can rub her

Ask them can you rub the kids instead ?

Cienciano

Vito Corleone wrote: »

Molest them.

Jesus, I'm glad I wasn't drinking tea when I read that, it would have shot out my nose

Pumpkinseeds

I used to have the same problem last Summer with kids from down the street playing right outside our window and sitting on the wall. Their ball was always coming into the garden flattening our plants. Eventually I just thought fcuk it they aren't my kids and the parents were able to see what was going on so I just politely told them to go play outside their own houses.

They were back last week so I politely told them again. I'm not putting up with it again. They were only outside our house because their parents didn't want them making noise outside their own houses. If I'd wanted kids playing that close to me I'd have had some of my own.

shedweller

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

I used to have the same problem last Summer with kids from down the street playing right outside our window and sitting on the wall. Their ball was always coming into the garden flattening our plants. Eventually I just thought fcuk it they aren't my kids and the parents were able to see what was going on so I just politely told them to go play outside their own houses.

They were back last week so I politely told them again. I'm not putting up with it again. They were only outside our house because their parents didn't want them making noise outside their own houses. If I'd wanted kids playing that close to me I'd have had some of my own.

Broken glass on top of the wall. With sh1t smeared on it. That'll learn em.

cloud493

Facekicker would know the answer to this.

Lawrence1895

the_syco wrote: »

Throw the rubbish into the bin. Cover the rubbish with a bottle or two of hot sauce.

Chilli powder or Chilli paste (has to be Jalapeno though), comes good as well

fearrua

Let them catch you slicing up a body with a circular saw, Fargo-style.

Doom

Blast them with piss

CNTRLR

invite them in for a few beers and some weed, guarantee the parents will keep them away from you then....

Tail Docker

Stop offering them sweets all the time - you only have yourself to blame.

The One Doctor

Specialun wrote: »

I live in an estate with around 15 houses in a circle.my house as at tne end

Bascailly the early houses have a number of kids..around 6 or 7

Ive no issue with the playing in the green as sure thats what its for..but lately the seem to want to play in my front garden..i would be sitting in my living room and they look in tne window to me..if i was having a stoke they would wreck the moment for me...they even left their toys in my garden or else behind the car

Should i tell their parents(some are ok) that their kids should fookoff from my garden or am i a tosser if i do that

Tbh i just dont want them in the garden as their annoying and if they fall or hurt themselves then it could be an issue

Well AH am i a dickhead for wanting them to fookoff or should them and the parents be more respectful of other residents and control the kids

Relax, Grandad.

Joe Duffy..

Sunbathe in your garden naked.

Lando Griffin

Get a Children at Play sign and cross it out.

Kinzig

Put up a sign on the lawn saying "poison sprayed here":eek:

_Brian

Oh my god the crank at the end if the road has internet access.
You know the one, moans about kids playing, kids recon he's up to all sorts so they dare each other to look in the windows.
Seems to talk to himself , shouts at them to play somewhere else !!

FullblownRose

All of the above, if that doesnt deter them, electric fence. Perhaps a small mine field around the perimeter.

lulu1

I used to have the same problem every evening 10 or 12 kids would land outside my gate with a ball. More times than enough the ball would bounce off the car, then they would come in to fetch it and leave the gate open and the dogs would get out. I worked with one off the mums and told her about it. She laughed and said to me you are the fool for letting them I hunt them from our gate. So the next evening they land with the ball again and out I go. Hi I call clear to f*** with that ball they could not believe their ears. Next morning I meet the mother at work her laughing I hear you completely lost the head last night. It solved the problem and no one was offended

_Whimsical_

Talk to their parents, it's completely reasonable that you wouldn't want them in your garden. If you reverse back over one of their toys and then they'll be looking at you as the cruel unkind man in the neighbourhood. Have them see you having a "stoke" in the window and be you'll instantly the neighbourhood weird that has assaulted the innocent eyes of local children.
(Im not sure what a "stoke" is).

Have a word and put a stop to it before anything more unpleasant than the awkwardness of a polite conversation about them staying out of your garden happens.

ardle1

kingchess wrote: »

if you tell them to fuuuk off,they will delight in annoying you as you enjoy yourself-maybe you should have a auld stroke where they can see you-that way you will get the parents attention and then they will keep the kids away from you,

LOL LOL.....

Yeah and when their parents call up to complain! make sure you have your favourite boxing trophy in your hand and a cloth in the other, and say 'I don't no what your talking about!' I was just polishing my Trophies.... .

lightspeed

why dont you get a gate and keep it closed?

weldoninhio

Specialun wrote: »

Oh i forgot to mention that i have a lab dog..a cutie

The kids often ring my doorbell asking if i can bring them the dog so tney can rub her

Careful the dog doesn't run off with one of the kids toys. If the kid chases him you'd have to punch him!!

Wishiwasa Littlebitaller

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtJ_DJejCdI

kikidelvin

I have the same problem with their ball coming in the garden every few minutes.Told them not to come on my property so now their mother comes in instead.

CrazyRabbit

Install Sprinklers....but don't tell them.

Arthur Beesley

kikidelvin wrote: »

I have the same problem with their ball coming in the garden every few minutes.Told them not to come on my property so now their mother comes in instead.

Is she hot?

Yogosan

Lecture the kids on Roman Propery Laws.

CarrickMcJoe

Ruubot2 wrote: »

Play in their garden, see how they like it!

OP has no friends...he'll have to play with himself in their garden!:eek: