Cant bring myself to breakup

summerdays14

Basically i've been going out with the most amazing girl you'd ever wish to meet for the last year and a half, from the start I realised she I thought she was attractive but never set my pulse racing but i over looked that due to her personality. Since xmas ive firmly realised that i'm simply not attracted to her anymore but i keep plugging away as we get on very well but its got to a point where i've found excuses to not have sex with her which its starting to wreak havoc but I cant bring myself to breakup with her as i think the world of her, any advice would be great, by the way we are both early 32

thanks

Merkin

You simply have to break up with her. You both deserve to lust after someone and be lusted after and if you're not feeling it, no amount of trying to force the issue is going to render that.

You're also going to do the girl and her self esteem damage if you start withdrawing sex without giving a reason.

Break up with her and let her find someone who is attracted to and leave the path open for yourself to meet someone who you fancy the pants off as well. Mutual attraction is one of the cornerstones of a great relationship, if it's not there it's not there and to carry on with it on a platonic basis would just be weird and damaging.

Carriexx

Please break up with her, the longer you don't you are actually hurting her more. She needs to be single to heal and to go meet someone else.

yermandan

You're scared of hurting her but what you don't realise is that every minute that passes without you breaking up will be more damaging to her in the long-term.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

CaliforniaDream

Break ups hurt a lot but it hurts more when you feel like someone was wasting your time. If you carry on any longer all you're doing is taking time away from her where she can get over the relationship and move on to something happier.
If you have any respect for the girl you'll end things immediately. There's no good time to do it so just do it.

Starokan

you will destroy her self confidence and self esteem by remaining with her. No matter how much you try to hide it she will pick up on the fact that you no longer find her attractive. Let her go and give her the chance to find someone new. It will be a horrible conversation but you surely must realise you have to do it

LegacyUser

I've let these things drag on as well.

It's hard but it has to be done.

The longer you leave it the more of the "so you knew this back in December?" type of questions and "so you slept with me even though you didn't want to" statements.

Be thankful that you are not living together.

The pain of saying it will turn into relief for you once it is done. And it will clear things up for her.

Now it's just a matter of figuring out how you will broach the subject.

You need to do it in person and you need to do it somewhere neutral but closer to her place.

Starting with the phrase "I think we need to talk....." will start things rolling.

Good luck

Foolscap

Normally I advocate absolute honesty, but in this case maybe not.

DO break up with her asap. But please, please do not say "I'm don't find you attractive". This happened a friend of mine, and she developed a serious complex about how she looked, it destroyed her confidence and she wouldn't chat up guys for a long time.

Just frame it a little differently when you tell her, but do break up with her soon. As other posters have said both she deserves someone who desires her, and you deserve someone you desire.