Does this sound like depression? <mod note post #1>

Hercules99

Hi there,
I am 24 years old.
I am sending this message as I feel worried about my mental health. I am not sure if I am depressed.
There are a number of issues troubling me. I am not sure I need to go into these in detail in this message. Rather than be depressed or worry that I am, I would like some practical help with everything that’s bothering me. Motivation and encouragement to do a lot of things is at an all time low!
My issues are of kind of social.
• Living away from home
• No new friends since moving away
• No girlfriend
• Never had a girlfriend – needless too add this is rare for someone 24 years old and it’s not a thought that I am able to deal with very well
• No social opportunities
• No involvement in sports/hobbies
• Feeling of loneliness
• No appetite to try and have new social experiences (I want to but when it comes to actually doing something I don’t really want to if you get me – I can’t explain this lack of motivation)
• Loss of contact with existing friends from school / college

Of course there are plenty of things I can be positive about and I realize it’s important not to ignore these. I am thankful too for these positives.

More often and especially lately, I am finding myself feeling sad and lacking motivation to do anything and thinking about the things in the above list.
I would like to know what advice you give to someone like me. There is no obvious person in my life I can ask for help – no friends I can ask and it’s not something I want to be burdening family members with. I said I’d throw this message together and see what comes of it. I have “Googled” this as much as I can so it would be great if I could get some practical advice of how to change and how to find the confidence and encouragement to change.

<Mod Note: Just a gentle reminder to all per our charter no medical advice or diagnoses please. OP this goes for you as well, the posters here can give general advice but please if you respond to the thread have a read of our charter first just in case.>

dee_mc

Hi!
Nobody here can diagnose you, but I'd advise you to see your GP so that you can feel more sure of whether or not you are depressed.
It sounds to me like you're overwhelmed and don't know where to start - maybe pick one thing from your list above and tackle it? For example, have a look at joining a club or group, or get chatting to someone?
Finally, don't underestimate your family members: chances are they wouldn't see you sharing your thoughts and feelings as a 'burden' at all, but would be eager to help in any way they can

irishguy1983

http://www.aware.ie/help/life-skills-online-programme-information/

This might be of help to you and the website is good in general.

December2012

Can you explain what you mean by "no social opportunities"?

I'm guessing unless you live alone, with no access to transport, in a very secluded part of the world there are some opportunities to socialise?

Rubberchikken

Hi
Are you working? If you are, are there any opportunities to go out with them?
Dont focus on having no girlfriend, that'll happen. Now you just need to become friends with a good mix of people.
Talk to your gp/family if you feel up to it.
They will listen.
Take care

Maphisto

Hi OP,

Some good tips above. Just my 2 pennorth:

~ Girlfriends are over rated - don't feel bad, Save that till you get one

~ Try and get some exercise. Go for a 10 minute walk before and after college/work.

~ Try and build it up how far/fast youre going

~ Maybe try cycling or swimming (depending on facilities near you)

~ When you've reached a standard that you're happy with join a club

I hope this helps a little and I wish you well OP

LegacyUser

OP,

Don't think you will be a burden on your family by talking to them, they care about you so do you not think they would want to hear that you are feeling stuck in a rut?

My advice to you is to talk and engage as much as possible with others, I guarantee you will automatically start to feel better. Also do try to get involved in activities, Meetup.com is great for that. Again, being around people will help you get out of any rut.

Best of luck and let us know how you get on.

Hercules99

Hi All,

Thanks everyone for their replies.

In response to some of the replies, I would say I am quite a fit and athletic person and regularly go the gym or go running in the evenings. The trouble is I do all this on my own and have being do so for the last few years. (I would agree exercise is powerful and it has probably helped to keep me positive about my situation)

Also on this subject, I've often read the gym is a good way to meet people. Well it is and it isn't. I think I have formed some "gym friendships" but they aren't going to develop into anything outside of there.

By my age most people have their friends and their groups and I had mine where I came from but it's hard to get attached to a new group. I think this is an Irish thing???

On the no girlfriend subject, I believe this is the root of my worries. I really wish this was different. I have no girls in my life even as friends and I cannot see where the opportunities are going to come in my current situation. I see people in work (27, 28, 29, etc) and they are getting married and having kids and then the early twenties category going on dates, going away on holidays with girlfriends. I see reminders everyday of this and put on a positive face but behind that it makes me sad. It's the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I get up. I wish my situation was different and I would work to change it if I knew where to start.

I also appreciate the power of positive thinking but sometimes I think the best I can hope for is a dream. In it, things would be a lot different.

irishguy1983

Hercules99 wrote: »

Hi All,

Thanks everyone for their replies.

In response to some of the replies, I would say I am quite a fit and athletic person and regularly go the gym or go running in the evenings. The trouble is I do all this on my own and have being do so for the last few years. (I would agree exercise is powerful and it has probably helped to keep me positive about my situation)

Also on this subject, I've often read the gym is a good way to meet people. Well it is and it isn't. I think I have formed some "gym friendships" but they aren't going to develop into anything outside of there.

By my age most people have their friends and their groups and I had mine where I came from but it's hard to get attached to a new group. I think this is an Irish thing???

On the no girlfriend subject, I believe this is the root of my worries. I really wish this was different. I have no girls in my life even as friends and I cannot see where the opportunities are going to come in my current situation. I see people in work (27, 28, 29, etc) and they are getting married and having kids and then the early twenties category going on dates, going away on holidays with girlfriends. I see reminders everyday of this and put on a positive face but behind that it makes me sad. It's the last thing I think of before I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I get up. I wish my situation was different and I would work to change it if I knew where to start.

I also appreciate the power of positive thinking but sometimes I think the best I can hope for is a dream. In it, things would be a lot different.

You've actually taken a big step here on reaching out too people on boards.ie - well done.

AWARE are starting a new CBT online programme over the next week or so and I know there are still places available. I think you could potentially be a good candidate for this progamme and I think you might find it helpful.

You've taken a good positive step here - maybe try take another one