Broke up by text

Cavan duck buster

To day while at work I got a text from my girlfriend saying it's basically not going to work out....

hey
look ive been thinking about stuff and not all of its good.
I dont want you to think im a **** or whatnot but I really cant see us working out in the long run, its not like I dont like you I do its just were so different our interests, age etc
your going to be going to college to do your gamekeeping thing & Im going to do whatever I applied for in cavan
you can do better than me you know i'm sorry okay im sorry that I hurt you im sorry for everything

I'm going on 20 in a few months and she is 22 (age dose not bother me)

My Gamekeeping course is in Scotland and will be lasting 3 years(through summer as well, now I'm still waiting on my placement if I don't I'll end up going to Cavan to do machcanis,

We have been together for over a month I really do care about her and I'm really stuck in a hole right now, I'm depressed and it's not going to help with the leaving cert in a 3 weeks time. I really don't know what to do anymore.

I'm in real need of advice right now.
Thank you for reading this.

Tokyo

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the girl has stated pretty unequivocally that she sees no future between the two of you, and that's not going to change, and the fact that she did all this via text message rather than to your face or over a phone call says a lot about her. I know it's hard and the timing is lousy, but all things considered the best thing you can do right now is put your head down, put her out of your mind, and focus completely on your studies instead.

Good luck.

Stavro Mueller

I can't say I'd give her any marks for timing or her way of breaking up. I know ye weren't together long but the least she could've done was said it to your face. Not nice. The game keeping thing is just a convenient excuse to hang the argument on. Don't do anything daft like turning down that game keeping course in favour of Cavan in order to try and get her back.

daveohdave

Better off without a girl like that fella, she's a coward and a fibber.

Maphisto

Sorry OP, her timing totally sucks and doing it by text is just so spineless rather than face to face or even a phonecall.

I agree with what others have said the gamekeeping thing is just something to hang it on. If the relationship was going to work it could have worked long distance.

I know its easier for me to say than you to do, but try and keep your head focused in the game - the leaving cert.

I wish you well OP

Cavan duck buster

Thanks everyone for your posts.
I'm still pretty angry about her not doing it face to face though, my friends keep telling me that's there loads more girls out there but I'm a big lad and I really don't know how I managed to get with her, I say finding someone els will be too big of an effort as most girls would just say not intrested, my self esteam is low enough as it was before getting that text

Cavan duck buster

Somthing I forgot to add to my main post, but sence 2 weeks back when I went for my interview for Scotland there has been little/non conversation between us, she was blaming the phone and came up with every escuse possible on Friday night when I planed to dring her to mine for a movie (no tricks) I thought somthing was up. Also she was my first Girlfriend

stargazer 68

Op there is never any good timing - if it wasn't exams it would be something else. I have been dumped by text and email so I know the feeling. Im afraid your friends are right on this one. She has obviously been thinking about it for a while.

Get on with the exams and you will have a ball on your course - its sounds amazing. A gamekeeping course in Scotland - all those lovely Scottish girls!! After a while you will wonder why you ever pined for her!

Alf. A. Male

Cavan duck buster wrote: »

We have been together for over a month .

Cavan duck buster wrote: »

sence 2 weeks back when I went for my interview for Scotland there has been little/non conversation between us

So in fact you've been "together" for two weeks of the past month really. That's not a relationship, it hadn't had a chance to become one and soon you'll be in different countries. This is not something to be in pain about. Concentrate on your exams and future.

MugMugs

Cavan duck buster wrote: »

I really don't know what to do anymore.
I'm in real need of advice right now.

Sounds like she did you a favour buddy.

Would you really want to be with somebody who doesn't have the guts and courage not to mention respect for you to break it off with you face to face.

It happened me before. I didn't even reply. She even rang me a week later to make sure that I got the message. I just laughed at her and left it at that.

Be the better person here and move well on from this. 20 years old and College coming up in Scotland ? Beleive me, the world is your oyster !

Cavan duck buster

Alf. A. Male wrote: »

So in fact you've been "together" for two weeks of the past month really. That's not a relationship, it hadn't had a chance to become one and soon you'll be in different countries. This is not something to be in pain about. Concentrate on your exams and future.

We have been chatting and meeting up 2months before we became official

LegacyUser

Cavan duck buster wrote: »

We have been chatting and meeting up 2months before we became official

Still doesn't change Alf. A. Male point. I know at your age this seems like the end of the world but just chalk it up to experience and focus on your exams.

skallywag

Sorry to hear that OP. Try to keep the head held high and focus on your Exams. It's funny how everything is relative, I know that you are feeling bad at the minute, but I'd bet that a lot of those reading this thread would give anything to be 20 and heading off to college again ;-)

Big Bag of Chips

For a 22 year old woman it was a very cowardly and childish way of breaking it off with you. The only way worse than that would have been if she got her friend to tell you.

I know, first relationship, you feel like this is the end of the world. But trust me.. your life is going to change so much in the coming months and years. 5 years time, who knows where you'll be and who you are with. You have a whole new life starting. Loads of new people to meet.

I'm guessing in 5 years time she will look back at how she finished with you and be so embarrassed. I broke up with my first bf by leaving a note in his bag. I still cringe when I think of it.... I was 12, though!

Good luck in your exams and in Scotland. It sounds like a great opportunity.

Cavan duck buster

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

For a 22 year old woman it was a very cowardly and childish way of breaking it off with you. The only way worse than that would have been if she got her friend to tell you.

I know, first relationship, you feel like this is the end of the world. But trust me.. your life is going to change so much in the coming months and years. 5 years time, who knows where you'll be and who you are with. You have a whole new life starting. Loads of new people to meet.

I'm guessing in 5 years time she will look back at how she finished with you and be so embarrassed. I broke up with my first bf by leaving a note in his bag. I still cringe when I think of it.... I was 12, though!

Good luck in your exams and in Scotland. It sounds like a great opportunity.

Thank you bag of chips

But there is a chance that I don't get accepted (I'll know by the end of next week) but if I don't and then have to go to Cavan it's going to be really awkword whenever I see here.

ElleEm

It will only be awkward if you decide to let it be awkward.

Obviously your self esteem has taken a knock, but it is better that it ended now, rather than later, as you seem to have gotten fairly attached in such a short space of time. I am sure you were very excited to be entering into your first relationship, but try to look at it as a positive- you are about to move into a really exciting chapter in your life, starting college and meeting tonnes of new people.

Try to focus hard on doing as well as you can in your exams, don't take the end of this relationship as a negative on you. As you meet people and get more experienced with women, you will realise sometimes people just don't connect. It is not as if one person is more or less desirable than another, they are just not a match. It certainly seems like this was the case here.

Big Bag of Chips

Well then try not to worry what might happen, until the end of next week!

Seriously, even if you don't end up going to Scotland, the first time you bump into her it will be awkward. Next time it'll be a bit less awkward, then less again etc. Until you get to a point where it won't bother you at all.

Everyone going in to college will be more or less starting from the same point. In a class with loads of people they don't know. Everyone will be nervous. Everyone will feel a bit self-conscious. And everyone will be hoping that they fit in.

You're not special, OP :P Most people in the world have exactly the same worries. It's just some people are good at pretending they don't!

Your ex gf will also be feeling awkward and nervous about the first time she'll see you... And she should be, after the cowardly way she ended it. If either of you should feel awkward or embarrassed it should be her.

Good luck.. I really hope Scotland works out for you. It would do you the world of good to spread your wings.

Cavan duck buster

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Well then try not to worry what might happen, until the end of next week!

Seriously, even if you don't end up going to Scotland, the first time you bump into her it will be awkward. Next time it'll be a bit less awkward, then less again etc. Until you get to a point where it won't bother you at all.

Everyone going in to college will be more or less starting from the same point. In a class with loads of people they don't know. Everyone will be nervous. Everyone will feel a bit self-conscious. And everyone will be hoping that they fit in.

You're not special, OP :P Most people in the world have exactly the same worries. It's just some people are good at pretending they don't!

Your ex gf will also be feeling awkward and nervous about the first time she'll see you... And she should be, after the cowardly way she ended it. If either of you should feel awkward or embarrassed it should be her.

Good luck.. I really hope Scotland works out for you. It would do you the world of good to spread your wings.

Thanks this really dose help a lot
I'm starting to get better now and planning for my graduation tomaro night and most of my friends found out today and very supportive with their calls and texts sense I never went in this week and spent the days fishing to clear my head, so the drinking session tomaro will be mighty (2pm with BBQ if weather is good) :P
Thanks to every one who posted in here

Cavan duck buster

Ok people I know that I might be annoying you right now but I have a delema right here...

Yesterday I got a call from my college to say that I unforentuly wasent able to get my placement
Now sence that my ex found out last night she has be very poligetic(only about the course) and today I've received 3 snap chats pics of here clevege and my fraind was chatting to her sister (their shifting) and said that she wants me back??? She didn't say that to me and I never asked my fraind to say anything, he told me last night.

But if/when she comes to ask me the question about getting back together I really don't know if I would be makeing the right decision. Some of my frainds say not to but others say if you still like her just go for it, but I really don't know if I like her anymore????

I need to someone's els opinion???

Alf. A. Male

Cavan duck buster wrote: »

I need to someone's els opinion???

My opinion doesn't change, concentrate on your exams and future.

bee06

She didn't have enough respect for you to break up with you in person ... Now she's bored so she's thinking that she can string you along for another while until something better comes along. Delete her number, delete/block her on snapchat and move on.

Stavro Mueller

Sorry to hear you didn't get that placement. Maybe you will get the chance in the future if it's still what you'd like to do.

As for your ex girlfriend, don't even entertain getting back with her should it arise. Remember, she thought so little of you that she couldn't be bothered breaking up with you in person. My guess is that she's bored or is messing you around. You said yourself that your self-esteem is low and I get the impression that you couldn't quite believe it when she went out with you. Don't let this influence any decisions you make. She's not the only woman in the world who'll want to go out with you. You sound like a nice guy and you deserve better than this.

In the meantime, put your head down and concentrate on your exams and getting the best results you can.

MikeSD

This is what happens when you have low self-esteem. Your first relationship feels like it was all luck. You have no value in yourself. Start valuing yourself and remember that a relationship involves two people. It's not all about her. She should invest herself in you aswell and that has not happened. She sounds like scum anyway. She was unable to dump you face-to-face. Don't fall for her dirty cheap Snapchats. I know you feel miserable now and think that you will never find anyone again, but now it is time to love yourself.

Cavan duck buster

Ok so, I have fully moved on right now and a friend got her friend and me talking and going to meet her tomarrow so things are really starting to look good from here on. I would like to thank everyone for their great advice and if I were to ever see yas I owe you all a pint :P
Thanks again and hope that this new girl not be like the last.
CDB

Big Bag of Chips

Good on you, OP. You will meet loads of girls in the next few years, and you will have lots of fun both just being friends and having relationships. If yer wan sends you an sort of flirty message again, I wouldn't be able to resist replying....

Cavan duck buster wrote: »

hey
look ive been thinking about stuff and not all of its good.
I dont want you to think im a **** or whatnot but I really cant see us working out in the long run, its not like I dont like you I do its just were so different our interests, age etc

But then, I'm a divil