Wedding photos of significant ex

LegacyUser

Hey guys, just need a place to vent. I happened across some wedding photos on FB of a significant ex from a few years ago. To be honest it kinda hit me harder than I thought it would, even though I know we weren't right for each other it still gave me those 'if only' and 'what if' feelings that I haven't felt since we broke up the end of 2009. I fell for her quite hard and fast, she said she felt the same but as things turned out she had issues that prevented her from fully trusting me and men in general it seems. Her wedding was about a year after we broke up judging by the dates on the photos. She had a plan to be married before 30 so while that didn't quite happen it seems she wasted no time in moving on. Ultimately that's what hurts I suppose, the fact that she's moved on while it seems I'm still hung up on a relationship that ended nearly five years ago when I thought I was fine! I'm happy for her and she looked amazing in the photos but maybe this will be the kick in the arse I need to get out there and start meeting people again. Could be the clichéd closure I need. Anyway thanks for reading, any advice welcome

CBFi

No advice, just I guess remember you broke up for a reason and you'll meet Ms Right for you soon.

LegacyUser

Thing is, if you were seeing someone or married yourself, it would not affect you in the same way.

Is it a case of missing her or missing the idea of her? Or just feeling a bit lonely?

Alf. A. Male

Those u-turn weddings are more to be pitied than laughed at. Sounds like she panicked and married on the rebound, or to a schedule that had nothing to do with the relationship she was in. One way or another, no reason for you to be hung up on something that didn't work at the time and ended, as it should have. Your "what if" should be feelings of a lucky escape and you should take advantage of being free to find something better.

LegacyUser

Just be glad that you were not marched up the aisle by this woman. I would agree with the previous post that these u-turn weddings are more to be pitied that laughed at.
I know couples who rushed into marriage but found out afterwards that life does not always go according to plan.

Some times things happen for a reason which is not clear at the time but it is only some time later you find out that you had a luck escape.
Also as you get older you have more life experiences so you know what questions to ask, what traits to look for ect which help you decided if you in are in a good or not so good relationship.

CaraMay

I don't know why people are doubting the girls choice to marry as that's not what the op was on about. Maybe she met the man of her dreams and is blissfully happy...

The problem is that the op has unresolved feelings for the ex and the only way they can go away is just to decide to move on and meet someone else who you can love in the present.

Tokyo

I tend to agree with the above - making sweeping generalisations about the nature of the wedding really isn't fair to the girl in question.

OP, it's natural to look back with rose tinted glasses, I do it often enough myself. I've had some disasters of relationships but I still think back now and again with a sense of what-if. It's only natural to look back on such situations and remember all of the good times and completely disregard the bad times.

However, it's important to remember that while she might be perfect, she may simply not have been perfect for you. You were together quite long enough to try, and ultimately fail, and you need to remember that there was a good reason at the time why it didn't work out, and it's far better to wait a little longer to meet the right person, than to be stuck with the wrong person for the rest of your life.