heartbroken, dumped out of the blue.

luthaniel

Hi lads, not sure what to say here think I'm just venting I suppose. Up on till last week I was in a relationship for just over 3 years. :-( So last week I went to see my girlfriend on the Friday night, we had a nice couple of days, went into Galway did the whole dinner and drinks thing all that, she seemed grand was very sweet & tactile just as normal. Then on Sunday we were sat together & she just said out of the blue she wanted to break up. Well my heart sank & I felt ill immediately. I was paralysed with hurt & despair, what had I done? I mean, I totally love this girl more than anything & would do anything for her. I didn't even have a chance to properly talk to her about it my head was so messed up or maybe I did & I just don't remember. You see this is also coming on top of my father being critically ill for weeks, this was actually the first time I had been down with her since he took ill & it was supposed to be a wee bit of time for me to recover emotionally, but bam world rocked again. Since then I've been totally devastated & useless to anyone which is not good as I need to work & have a mortgage to pay but just can't seem to bring my self to get out there. She just told me her feelings had changed for me & that its not you its me. I know there is a new male friend on the scene for the past month or so & when she would get texts from this guy she would delete them & hide her phone. I did ask her was there something going on & she says no. Anyway I know she spent last Saturday with this guy one week after we broke up. Does this seem fishy to anyone else. I just really love her so much & don't know what I'm gonna do. Thanks for taking the time to read my rant. :-)

Oink

First of all I'm very sorry for you. It sounds very painful.

However just going from what you said, she said that she doesn't love you anymore. You think she has also met someone else. Maybe she could have announced it differently, but the bottom line is the same i'm afraid: she is moving on.

I cant advise you on how you can come to accept that. You will have to find your own way. But the pain comes first I'm afraid, there is no shortcut.

Edit: I agree that the timing sounds like a nasty kick in the face./edit

For what it's worth, singing breakup songs until my voice was gone helped me a lot back in the day.

Best of luck.

Meathlass

Hey OP. I really feel for you. Something similar happened to me and the emotional and physical turmoil was devastating. This is a time when you need your friends and the distraction of work. Don't stay at home on your own.

From the info you've given, yes, it does seem like she's moved on and is spending time with this guy. There's nothing you can do to change that.

Her timing is crap; you need to focus on your dad now. Like Oink said, there'll be pain, there's no way around it.

LegacyUser

luthaniel wrote: »

I know there is a new male friend on the scene for the past month or so & when she would get texts from this guy she would delete them & hide her phone. I did ask her was there something going on & she says no.

HI OP,

People dont hide their phone and delete messages if there isnt something going on.
It would suggest something is going on.
She could have lied out a a range of reasons (guilt / not wishing to hurt you etc).

However none of the above actually changes the core fact that she doesnt want to be in the relationship anymore. (if it wasnt a new friend now it would have been X Y Z at a later date.)

I would focus on moving on and positives about your life and getting back to being happy with others
rather than reminising on her or the why - that only brings more confusion and pain.

Good Luck its a bumpy road!!