Problem in work - what should I do?

CapriSunFun

Hello,
I hope this is the right place to post this.

I have been working in a small company (I am the only employee besides a temporary work placement college student who finishes in July) for a year and a half now, straight out of college. Long story short, I hate it here, I don't get paid well at all, it's badly run, and my employer doesn't seem to care about his staff at all (no coffee, no milk, had to pay with my own money for supplies in work a few times too, didn't get the money back even after asking)
I am female and my employer is male, we never really talked that much and I was quite quiet around him, mostly because he's a lot older than me and usually I'm by myself most of the day working while he is in his office. But we never fought or didn't get on, it was just always a bit awkward for me. Now this new temporary college placement student has come to work with us for a few months and it's been a life saver because I have someone to talk to and work with who's my own age and who understands how hard it is to work here with an employer like mine. This problem is though is that he's also a guy, so my employer seems to prefer him to me, and talks to him about women whenever they're alone. The work placement guy hates it and it makes him feel very uncomfortable to have his employer talk to him about women and past employees who had "a great set of t*ts" etc.
I didn't really mind this though because it didn't affect me, but recently the work placement guy told me that my employer said to him (about me) "the question is, if you saw her walking down the street, would you even look twice?" I'm really hurt by this because I feel it's really sexist and no employer should say that about an employee. Why should my looks even come into it? I really feel like I can't stick my employer anymore after this. Is there anything I should do? Should I confront him? Should I quit? There is another director of the company who's female who I could tell, would that be wise to do? Should I just forget about it? I wish I could just forget about it but I don't think I can.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

Emme

Have you looked for another job?

The place you're in doesn't sound like it's doing particularly well.

It's no big deal paying for your own coffee and milk. I work in a college and we have to get our own coffee and milk. This is all you should have to pay for.

When you say you paid for supplies from your own money did you mean coffee and milk or office supplies such as stationery? If it's stuff for the office I hope you kept a record of this with receipts. If the receipts are made out to your workplace see if you can get them changed and made out to you. Make sure to get the money back from your employer. He's supposed to be paying you to work for him, not scabbing off you to pay for supplies. If that happens on a regular basis you might as well be working for nothing.

Do your boss's suppliers know you are paying for his office supplies out of your own pocket?

Does he expect you to pay for his milk and groceries as well?

It sounds like you are quiet and non-confrontational and your boss is taking advantage of this. The sexist comments he made to your male colleague are very unprofessional and show his lack of respect for your and your colleague.

I don't know his line of business and how well he is (or isn't) doing but if he's scabbing off employees to pay suppliers the business is barely hanging by a thread. You might not have a job there this time next year. It's easier to get a job when you have one so get advice on your CV and register with employment agencies.

Work towards getting out of there as soon as you can. I know jobs are scarce but by the sound of things you would be better off on jobseekers allowance and in a training course than working for this joker.

CapriSunFun

Thanks for your reply.
Yeah I have had to pay for supplies multiple times. We use eggs a lot so I've had to go on my lunch break three times and buy eggs, ink, I even had to pay for his toll pass for his rented car online once. All these things got to me eventually and I asked for it all back, the other director (the female I spoke about in my first post) said she'd give me back to money for the toll and ink (which came to about 14€) but not the eggs because I didn't have any receipts (these were from 9+ months ago) and she "didn't want to underpay me" so instead I got none of the money back for the eggs. I know it's ridiculous.
I have been sending out a few cvs here and there online but have heard nothing back yet, I will keep looking, and definitely put more effort in from now on.

I think the company is just small and starting off, that's why it's so badly run. He lives in the uk and comes over for 2.5 days a week, so I'm here 2 days all by myself (until the work placement guy came here two months ago) so I've pretty much run this place by myself for a good bit.
As you said I am very quiet and non confrontational but I really don't want my employer to get away with this sexist comment. That comment was really the last straw for me. It happened yesterday and I was told about it today so I really feel like I should say something about it soon. Should I tell the female director?

Thanks again

ManOfMystery

That's a difficult spot to be in.

The first problem - paying for supplies and such - that's definitely not on. Refuse to do it, and if you do have to do it, then be sure to keep a receipt/invoice and present that to them for reimbursement asap.

The second problem, regarding his comments ..................... well, telling the female director can go either way. She might side with you, or she might think you're stirring things up (you know you're not, but she doesn't know that). If you were working for a large PLC with a proper HR department in place I'd have no hesitation in telling you to lodge a complaint, but by the sounds of it you're not in that position - you're going to have to complain to one Director about another, and these are 2 people who I assume started the company together so have a history.

If she took your side, what is she really going to do about it? Confronting him might garner a half apology, but guys like him - old school sexists - rarely change their spots.

It's a shi*ty situation, but to be honest it might be best to hold your tongue for now, keep looking for something else and then cut your losses and get out of there when the time is right.

Emme

CapriSunFun wrote: »

Thanks for your reply.
Yeah I have had to pay for supplies multiple times. We use eggs a lot so I've had to go on my lunch break three times and buy eggs, ink, I even had to pay for his toll pass for his rented car online once. All these things got to me eventually and I asked for it all back, the other director (the female I spoke about in my first post) said she'd give me back to money for the toll and ink (which came to about 14€) but not the eggs because I didn't have any receipts (these were from 9+ months ago) and she "didn't want to underpay me" so instead I got none of the money back for the eggs. I know it's ridiculous.
I have been sending out a few cvs here and there online but have heard nothing back yet, I will keep looking, and definitely put more effort in from now on.

I think the company is just small and starting off, that's why it's so badly run. He lives in the uk and comes over for 2.5 days a week, so I'm here 2 days all by myself (until the work placement guy came here two months ago) so I've pretty much run this place by myself for a good bit.
As you said I am very quiet and non confrontational but I really don't want my employer to get away with this sexist comment. That comment was really the last straw for me. It happened yesterday and I was told about it today so I really feel like I should say something about it soon. Should I tell the female director?

Thanks again

The sexist comment is not the main problem. You paying for supplies such as eggs is the main problem. Don't do it. Is it a catering business? Can they not buy eggs and other supplies wholesale and at a cheaper price? I suppose if they can get these from employees for free it's even cheaper :rolleyes:

There is no way you should have to pay the toll pass for your boss's rented car. Can the female director not do this as she is senior to you?

I don't think the female director would care if you told her the sexist comment. She might even laugh. Could you try and source suppliers where you could get eggs, ink etc. at a cheaper price? Can the directors not set up accounts with suppliers?

The business may be just getting off the ground in Ireland but if it's not being run well now it may not go the distance. If you lost your job there your boss would be doing you a favor as you could apply for jobseekers allowance and see if there are any training courses available. A training course might build up your confidence and encourage you to speak up for yourself.

If they ask you to buy supplies in future make sure they give you enough money first. Don't pay for anything business related from your own money. Buy your own milk and coffee only (and make sure none of the others are scabbing it off you).

TimeToShine

I'm shocked that the intern actually said that to your face. Very bad move.

Addle

TimeToShine wrote: »

I'm shocked that the intern actually said that to your face. Very bad move.

Ya, is he trying to cause trouble?
Maybe he wants you to leave?

CapriSunFun

Thanks for all your replies and advice.

Regarding my colleague who told me what my employer said; I honestly don't think he meant to hurt me by saying it I just think he is a bit stupid and wasn't thinking, but saying that, I've only known him for 2 months so maybe he is trying to get me to leave. He knows that I hate this place and honestly if he wants my job he can have it, he has a car and has to chauffeur my employer around everywhere (luas stop to catch flight back to uk, suppliers, shop for coffee etc) so he's been taken advantage of too.
I'm just really hurt and offended that my looks should even come into it, but I guess the sexist comment has just pushed me to get another job ASAP and get the hell out of here! I look forward to the day I hand in my notice
Thanks for all your advice again. I was upset and angry this morning but now I'm just determined to get out of here and find a better job.

TimeToShine

Sorry I'm not implying he had an ulterior motive when he said that to you. I just can't imagine a guy saying that to a woman his age without something strange going on. I'm sure as you said he just wasn't thinking straight.

Anyway as said above make it your priority to get out. This is the kind of thing that festers and every time you see your boss it's all you're going to be able to think about. I know too well how easy it is for people to just tell you to "leave your job" if you don't like it. I understand that it's a daunting process but you'll be better off in the long run.

Good luck.

CapriSunFun

And regarding the female director, the business used to be run in the house which she owns with her husband (my employer stays with them during the week when he works over here) so I know her quite well and she is lovely, and I've seen on numerous occasions my employer treat her as being under him, even though they are both directors. He is very sexist and she is quite the feminist. She has even said to me before "don't worry, I know how "employer" can be sometimes" so I'm pretty sure she's well aware of how he is. I just really want to tell her to let him know he can't ask like that. But I know it could backfire horribly!
As for the egg situation, we need eggs every now and again to make certain "soils" for customers, which they use in hospitals. So we don't have a supplier for things like that such as eggs or ink which is why when we've needed it, it had to be me to buy it.

CapriSunFun

TimeToShine wrote: »

Sorry I'm not implying he had an ulterior motive when he said that to you. I just can't imagine a guy saying that to a woman his age without something strange going on. I'm sure as you said he just wasn't thinking straight.

Anyway as said above make it your priority to get out. This is the kind of thing that festers and every time you see your boss it's all you're going to be able to think about. I know too well how easy it is for people to just tell you to "leave your job" if you don't like it. I understand that it's a daunting process but you'll be better off in the long run.

Good luck.

Honestly, that's what I want to do! I want to just get out of here ASAP, regardless of if I have another job waiting for me or not. I honestly can't stick it here for much longer and as you said whenever I see him I know it's going to anger me more and more everytime. Is it stupid to just leave? I'm so confused
Also, would it be hard to get a reference from them after all this if I just quit?

Emme

CapriSunFun wrote: »

Honestly, that's what I want to do! I want to just get out of here ASAP, regardless of if I have another job waiting for me or not. I honestly can't stick it here for much longer and as you said whenever I see him I know it's going to anger me more and more everytime. Is it stupid to just leave? I'm so confused
Also, would it be hard to get a reference from them after all this if I just quit?

Don't even think about what the young guy said. It's irrelevant and perhaps he did think it might make you leave. Leave anyway but if they don't end your contract make sure you have a job to go to first.

You say your director is "lovely" but if she didn't reimburse you for eggs she's not as lovely as you think. She is letting the director exploit both you and the young guy. Is he getting reimbursed for fuel costs when he uses his car for work? To put in colloquial terms, you are both being shafted.

Merkin

I wouldn't just walk out. I'd put some effort into getting a good CV together and applying for a new role. Go and see some recruitment agencies, apply for jobs directly and put some energy into that. You don't want to just leave and find yourself unemployed.

In the interim, I'd start making a note of any inappropriate comments (either directly or indirectly) and keep the head down. Your boss sounds like a sexist pig and while the female director might seem nice, she has this numpty to stay in her own home three nights a week so they are obviously on good enough terms. Also, the fact that she wouldn't pay you for a few eggs bought by you in good faith suggests she's not THAT much of a decent human being.

As for his comment, he's a twat. Seriously, I wouldn't give a second thought to what he thinks of your appearance, it's probably fortuitous that you're NOT his type given that the alternative might be an ongoing barrage of lascivious comments about the size of your bust or length of your skirt. He's a sad little individual. Focus your energy on getting the hell out of there but don't budge until you've actually got something to move to.

ABajaninCork

STOP BUYING SUPPLIES FOR THE OFFICE! Seriously, if the business can't even get it's act together enough to ensure adequate supplies to keep it running, then I can't see it surviving for much longer, if I'm honest. The next time supplies are short, say you have no money! They'll have to church up the cash then...

You're the one keeping the business afloat. Out of your OWN pocket!! Your employers are stealing from you. Don't you realise that? To expect essential supplies to be paid out of your money is unforgiveable. And to expect free rides and payment of tolls your employer ran up is a pisstake. He should be reported to the National Council for Taking Liberties. Just shows the lack of class all round...

The remark the intern made to you? Ignore it. It's not worthy of your time or attention. I'd probably kiss the dosh you laid out goodbye, as you're unlikely to get that back. But going forward? Don't buy anything more.

And I agree with the others - Look for another job. Pronto. You don't need these idiots messing you up.

TimeToShine

CapriSunFun wrote: »

Honestly, that's what I want to do! I want to just get out of here ASAP, regardless of if I have another job waiting for me or not. I honestly can't stick it here for much longer and as you said whenever I see him I know it's going to anger me more and more everytime. Is it stupid to just leave? I'm so confused
Also, would it be hard to get a reference from them after all this if I just quit?

Try and be civil about it if you can, tell them you want to try something new. There's no reason why you won't get a good reference. Give them your one week's notice ASAP and you're off.

As said above you're better off having something in the pipeline but if you really can't stick it then it's definitely not worth stressing about. Obviously the best case scenario is to have something lined up, this depends on if you think it's worth hacking it for a few more weeks/months.

Pwpane

Ask for a small cash float for incidental purchases.

Keep track with a notebook and all receipts. Hand in an account monthly.

retro:electro

I wouldn't just up and leave as all the hard work and effort you have put in thus far would be for nothing if you can't get a good reference from them. Look for other jobs and once you've found one hand in your notice. I wouldn't tell anyone about the comment just yet, it could make the rest of your time working there unbearable as you don't know which way it could go for you. When you do get another job, which you will, on your last day I would mention it to the female director and see what she says. By that stage you will be in a better position as you won't have to face anyone the next day.
Your co worker doesn't sound in innocent in all of this either, I'm sure your boss didn't just blurt that comment out to him, they were obviously both talking about you. I wouldnt question his intentions in telling you tho. You need to keep your self respect and do your work well and keep looking for something else in the meantime.

Emme

If these clowns can't organize a petty cash account for incidental expenses such as eggs, ink etc. they can't run a business. A transition year class would run a business better than your directors.

Again they are definitely on the take - using the young guy for lifts and dipping into your pocket for eggs and ink.

Work on your CV and self-confidence and leave when you get another job.

I think if you leave voluntarily you might not be entitled to social welfare in the same way as you would if they terminated your contract. So only leave when you have something else to go to.

CapriSunFun

Yeah I'm definitely just going to bite my tongue, forget about the sexist comment and just focus on getting a new job ASAP. I was in a bit of a panic this morning and went from upset to extremely angry to wanting to just leave and never come back, but I've calmed down now and know that I need to get another job first, then I can leave this dump :P
Thanks for all your advice. I'm glad I didn't just storm out today!

Merkin

Good girl, I know it's hard when you're working with a twat like that but you're the one smiling when you a. have your pay being lodged every month while b. on the look for bigger and better opportunities. Take their money and keep the head down until such time as you can leave.

meeeeh

Your boss is an idiot, however you should be more asertive. They should have some petty cash but if they don't put in claims weekly or when being paid. Asking for money for eggs three months after you bought them is a bit silly. Especially without any proof of purchase. The comment your boss made is very insulting but if your co-worker had a problem with it, he should say it to your boss not come running to you. Btw be careful what you say, he could be just as likely relying the conversations with you to your boss. So do not tell him that you are looking for another job or other sensitive details. No matter how well you two are getting along he is not trustworthy.