Thinking of going for counselling again..tell my employer?

updown123

So,

Basically, i'm a mess again.. Happens every so often due to a number of triggers. This time due to me seeing a girl for a few weeks who has just called things off after a rapidly progressing situation.

I've been for therapy over the years and I feel it's probably a good idea to start going again as I think I need some real guidance on a number of issues.

I basically just want somebody to listen.. and possibly give some guidance.

I'm wondering is it a good idea to tell my employer that I plan on doing this? I have let it slip before about possible depression. I had to tell this because one day I just didn't turn up for work and turned off my phone. My team ended up quite concerned. It wasn't a case of me being selfish/unprofessional. I have called in sick before..just could even pick up the phone I felt so low..

Anyway enough said.

Regarding therapists.. D2, D4, D6 would be ideal for me. I'm not sure if recommendations are allowed on here. If they are feel free to suggest somebody. I'm going to refrain from saying my last therapist.

Also i'm a guy, 27 this year. From experience, what do people think is the best Guy/Girl therapist?

Thanks so much for reading..

December2012

Does your job require you to disclose this information? I'm not sure they are allowed to.

Why not go to counselling first - get an out of business hours appointment (as in it doesn't clash with your work commitments).

updown123

mfergus wrote: »

Why tell them? Would it have any pros? In my opinion it's none of their business...

Oh I forgot to explain that one..

Basically, it would probably make things easier. Therapists would generally work office hours so i'd hate to have to make random excuses about different things. I work in IT so leaving for 1 hour slots here and there would REALLY look like I was job hunting..

I think my two managers are quite realistic.. see my other thread, they know I have issues and would probably be happy to hear I am getting help.

I think if I tell them then I can get time off easily, make it back up etc or take a few hours annual leave here and there.

I know I am a highly valued employee and they seem to be going to good lengths to keep me. Just wondering if telling them this would taint their view of me?

December2012

Therapists also work in the evenings

updown123

December2012 wrote: »

Therapists also work in the evenings

Really? I don't think my previous one did.. I must look into a few.

Have you any experience with any?

December2012

Yep but no references are allowed in the forum.

krankykitty

They also work lunchtimes. Get one near your job and you're sorted..

Time Now Please

You look after No. 1 first and foremost, that's the main thing. If you are required to send in a sick cert to work your GP does not have to write down your reasons for being off sick, neither does your employer.

LegacyUser

updown123 wrote: »

So,

Basically, i'm a mess again.. Happens every so often due to a number of triggers. This time due to me seeing a girl for a few weeks who has just called things off after a rapidly progressing situation.

I've been for therapy over the years and I feel it's probably a good idea to start going again as I think I need some real guidance on a number of issues.

I basically just want somebody to listen.. and possibly give some guidance.

I'm wondering is it a good idea to tell my employer that I plan on doing this? I have let it slip before about possible depression. I had to tell this because one day I just didn't turn up for work and turned off my phone. My team ended up quite concerned. It wasn't a case of me being selfish/unprofessional. I have called in sick before..just could even pick up the phone I felt so low..

Anyway enough said.

Regarding therapists.. D2, D4, D6 would be ideal for me. I'm not sure if recommendations are allowed on here. If they are feel free to suggest somebody. I'm going to refrain from saying my last therapist.

Also i'm a guy, 27 this year. From experience, what do people think is the best Guy/Girl therapist?

Thanks so much for reading..

Unless you really need to tell, I would hold off.

There are ways around withholding this information from employer. Evening appointments etc

In an ideal world you could say it and nobody would take any notice but there is still a lot of stigma around mental health in many workplaces. In my personal experience, I went through a really tough time a few months back and very nearly told my boss about medication and counselling but I chose not to at the time and I'm really glad I didn't disclose. I was very vulnerable at the time - the only reason I would have told was because I wanted to be heard not anything to do with productivity or employment issues but I got what I needed in counselling and was glad I didn't involve my boss.

As I say, there is still so much stigma around mental health and of course not speaking clearly contributes to the notion of stigma, however you seem vulnerable at the moment and I think your mental health and needs are a priority.

Rubberchikken

therapists would have evening appointments.
while i agree that mental health issues are being discussed more openly, which is only right, you should ease up on being willing to share too much with your managers.
i don't doubt they are concerned for your welfare and do see you as a valued employee, but at the end of the day their main concern is in keeping the business running smoothly.

look after your mental health. make an appointment to speak to someone and if you need a sick cert a gp will issue one and no details have to be given.

Merkin

I always work off the basis that things are on a strictly need-to-know basis. There really is no reason why you would disclose this personal information to your employer, especially given that appointments can be arranged for outside working hours.

IlmoNT4

Dont say anything to your employer.... There are therapist who work evenings (you might have to wait a few weeks for a slot to become available) and they also work early mornings, you could go before work.

There are also lunch time appointments.... Very worse case tell them your off to see the physio if you cant get an out out of hours appointment but theres no reason why you cant see someone outside of working hours without impacting on your working day. Last thing you want, once you start to feel better is having people at work knowing personal stuff about you, when there was no need to disclose it.

Try and keep your personal life and work life separate, unless you have a critical emergency and have to tell them (I wouldnt be in work for the next 2 weeks because I'm going for X treatment)..

When you are feeling very down try and build a support system that ensures that at the very least you let work know that you wouldnt be in that day....Save you a world of worry and stress....I know how hard is can be to make phone calls when you are that bad, but even send an email/text or have a partner/friend call for you. Find a supportive GP who can back you up with a medical cert if you need one.

Regarding a male or female therapist....its up to you, you might have to try different people until you find someone that you click with. Theres lots of different types of therapy, counseling, CBT, analysis etc

Pawwed Rig

Just say you have an appointment between the hours x and x. No further information is required or ideally as others said get a lunchtime visit.

As regards male or female? It wouldn't mastter to me personally but if you have a particular reason why you would prefer one over the other then go for whichever makes you feel most comfortable.

updown123

Thanks everybody..

I'll have a look around and see what I can get for the evening.

Cheers!

LegacyUser

The simple question is, do you want them to know?

Other than that, no, unless it is a policy (and I doubt it), would you not prefer to keep it to yourself?

I also work a full-time, very professional job (and attend councelling of an evening). Only 2 people, whom I chose to tell, know about this. Noone in my work knows because a) me or my situation is of in no way endangering anyone b) it doesnt affect my work and c) due to a and b, it is none of their business.

I dont mean to sound harsh here, but, for want of a better way to put this, are you looking for attention? (could this be an issue for you in the long run?). You certainly shouldnt be going around work telling people you have depression unless youve been formally diagnosed (you say possible depression). You are making people believe something that you dont even know about yourself. You are putting the cart before the horse.

If you need to get things off your chest, I 10000% believe in councelling. But your work colleagues arent your councellor. Unless you feel you dont follow the a, b, c's above. Do you get what am trying to say.

updown123

doyougetwhattryingtosay wrote: »

The simple question is, do you want them to know?

Other than that, no, unless it is a policy (and I doubt it), would you not prefer to keep it to yourself?

I also work a full-time, very professional job (and attend councelling of an evening). Only 2 people, whom I chose to tell, know about this. Noone in my work knows because a) me or my situation is of in no way endangering anyone b) it doesnt affect my work and c) due to a and b, it is none of their business.

I dont mean to sound harsh here, but, for want of a better way to put this, are you looking for attention? (could this be an issue for you in the long run?). You certainly shouldnt be going around work telling people you have depression unless youve been formally diagnosed (you say possible depression). You are making people believe something that you dont even know about yourself. You are putting the cart before the horse.

If you need to get things off your chest, I 10000% believe in councelling. But your work colleagues arent your councellor. Unless you feel you dont follow the a, b, c's above. Do you get what am trying to say.

Hi, I completely get what you are saying. I'm going to keep this to myself for now.

Thanks.

Dermighty

+1 for counselling. It may not be the cure all but it can open doors to other forms of treatment you wouldn't have known about or considered.

Also, I've seen some reputable counselling centres open 9am-9pm 7 days a week.

username123

Unless you need to tell them or feel it would be of benefit to tell them - no need to tell them - sure you could be getting physiotherapy/dental work or anything for an hour here or there over weeks/months.

However, depending on the company and HR it might be beneficial to tell them. I do know someone who disclosed diagnosed depression to her HR department and it really did help her working stress as her managers were far more accommodating than previously. However it was a public sector job with a very well defined protocol for handling medical disclosures from staff and that may not be the case unless the company is either public sector or a big multinational.