other people posting pics of your kids on facebook

LegacyUser

How do you feel about other people posting pictures of your child[ren] on their facebook page?

I don't like it but I don't see what I could do about it.

I feel like they are kids and their privacy should be respected until they are old enough to know whether they like them there or not. I would not like someone posting pictures of me all over their facebook page without consent.

lazygal

We don't like it and we don't allow it. Whenever someone has asked or done so without our consent we make them remove it. We are the custodians of their images online until they're older. If someone was doing it persistently we would make sure they weren't taking pictures of them to post in the first place.

eviltwin

lazygal wrote: »

We don't like it and we don't allow it. Whenever someone has asked or done so without our consent we make them remove it. We are the custodians of their images online until they're older. If someone was doing it persistently we would make sure they weren't taking pictures of them to post in the first place.

Ditto. I don't post pics of my kids on FB, I would be one of the only people I know who don't. There have been a few times when someone has put a picture of my child up and I have had to ask them to take it down, they tend to get quite annoyed by it but my child's photo has no place on their page as far as I am concerned.

Orion

They're your children. It's not up to anyone else to decide if they can post pictures of your children online. If someone gets annoyed by that that's their problem. If someone refuses to take it down report the picture and Facebook will do it for you.

LegacyUser

I don't use facebook but if I did I would not post up pictures of my child, not even because of any fear of anything particularly sinister, but I find it disrespectful to the child. It's not my face, so why would I and think it's ok and small kids are not in a position to really understand what they are agreeing to or not, so I just don't do it. Plus if my parents did that, and I grew up and found all these pictures of me all over facebook and the internet I'd be pretty mad especially if it was by a relative I didn't know.

I know a lot of people post pictures of their kids all over the place on the web so it would seem pretty normal, but it just doesn't sit well with me.

Problem is the other parent has consented to it and feeds him the photos I have sent as attachments by email. I would have been none the wiser if the other parent hadn't actually told me. I didn't say anything at the time because I wanted to give it some thought. I'm still not really sure what to do.

Calhoun

anonymum wrote: »

How do you feel about other people posting pictures of your child[ren] on their facebook page?

I don't like it but I don't see what I could do about it.

I feel like they are kids and their privacy should be respected until they are old enough to know whether they like them there or not. I would not like someone posting pictures of me all over their facebook page without consent.

I don't like it and I generally don't do it bar a private group, most people have been told to take pics down or not to out them up when we see them taking pictures.

Apiarist

a) Suppose a parent posts a picture of his son's sport team. The team includes your child. Are you going to ask to remove the picture?

b) An anonymous photographer posts a photo of children playing in a park. One of the children looks like yours. Are you going to ask to remove the picture?

Calhoun

Context is key when taking photo's of other peoples, when the children are at the age where they are in sports teams ect there is no harm in the odd team photo ect.

The second one is a bit of a ludicrous suggestion, looking like and actually being your kid are different things.

Toots

Any photos of my son that are on facebook are on my page and are in a private album for family/close friends only. I wouldn't be a bit happy with other people posting his picture on their page, nor would I even dream of putting pictures of someone else's kids on my page.

valerossi

I remember having a serious argument with my sons GAA coach/Teacher about 5 years ago about pictures of him and his team on a Facebook page, he just couldn't comprehend why I told him to take them down. The little runt ended up just blacking out his face.
But he has always had a massive issue with me because I never allowed my sons miss school to play a game either.

vitani

I must be the odd one out, so. As long as I'm tagged in the photos or made aware of them in some other way, I don't mind family and friends putting photos up. Although, to be fair, it's not really something they do that often. My own Facebook page is set so only my friends can see my photos but that's more of a privacy thing in general.

Chattastrophe!

valerossi wrote: »

I remember having a serious argument with my sons GAA coach/Teacher about 5 years ago about pictures of him and his team on a Facebook page, he just couldn't comprehend why I told him to take them down. The little runt ended up just blacking out his face.

Can I ask why it was such a big deal to you? What was the harm in it?

Long before the days of Facebook, when we were kids, myself and my siblings had team photos taken and published in local papers etc for various sports. We loved it!

endacl

That's the problem with Facebook. What is actually taking a liberty has become the norm. People really don't understand why putting every snap they've ever snapped up for all to see might be a problem for the subjects (or their parents). Constantly having to ask people to take down pics of me, to say nothing of having to explain why I wouldn't give permission to tag me in photos, is just one of the many reasons why I closed my account.

I'd suggest posting a monthly status update. Something like: 'no photos of my children on this site please'. Anybody with a modicum of cop on shouldn't need the 'why' explained to them.

blackdog2

I've seen this, where foreign childcare workers post pictures on social network sites that wouldn't be particularly accessible to Irish workers, certainly made me think about the legal implications, should the parents find out

tomdempsey200

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Can I ask why it was such a big deal to you? What was the harm in it?

Long before the days of Facebook, when we were kids, myself and my siblings had team photos taken and published in local papers etc for various sports. We loved it!

team photos are ok imo

birthday parties etc. no

Big Bag of Chips

victor8600 wrote: »

a) Suppose a parent posts a picture of his son's sport team. The team includes your child. Are you going to ask to remove the picture?

This did actually happen in our local GAA club and some parents DID ask other parents to take down their pictures.

If the club want to post pictures they have to get parental consent. If the parents don't give consent to the club, why should they have to be ok with other parents sharing pictures of their child?

FurBabyMomma

blackdog2 wrote: »

I've seen this, where foreign childcare workers post pictures on social network sites that wouldn't be particularly accessible to Irish workers, certainly made me think about the legal implications, should the parents find out

I don't think that's a foreigner issue, I think that is a management issue. If they are working in a childcare centre the policy is usually that parents must sign a consent form to allow their children to be pictured and put on the net. All staff should be advised of the policy and if not then take it up with management.

matrim

lazygal wrote: »

We don't like it and we don't allow it. Whenever someone has asked or done so without our consent we make them remove it. We are the custodians of their images online until they're older. If someone was doing it persistently we would make sure they weren't taking pictures of them to post in the first place.

This isn't meant as a go at your stance but I don't think you can "make" them remove them. You can ask and any reasonable person will respect your wishes, but my understanding of the law is that so long as the picture was taken in public they have every right to put it up if they want.

blackdog2

FurBabyMomma wrote: »

I don't think that's a foreigner issue, I think that is a management issue. If they are working in a childcare centre the policy is usually that parents must sign a consent form to allow their children to be pictured and put on the net. All staff should be advised of the policy and if not then take it up with management.

I see it came across as that, what I meant was that that particular network might not have a presence here, so it'd be near impossible to make them take it down? I see your point though

valerossi

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Can I ask why it was such a big deal to you? What was the harm in it?

Long before the days of Facebook, when we were kids, myself and my siblings had team photos taken and published in local papers etc for various sports. We loved it!

Iv never liked cameras in my kids face especially strangers cameras at pools, playgrounds etc . I signed a form to say the school could not photograph my kids without permission. I also have an issue with how Facebook can use photos and how easy it is to copy the images.
I suppose some people see no harm whereas I do and I expected it to be respected.
Now their older and ass around with Facebook themselfs so I suppose my efforts were in vain:)

grimbergen

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

This did actually happen in our local GAA club and some parents DID ask other parents to take down their pictures.

If the club want to post pictures they have to get parental consent. If the parents don't give consent to the club, why should they have to be ok with other parents sharing pictures of their child?

Seems completely OTT in my opinion - where do you draw the line, if one parent objects does that mean the whole team photo has to come down?

The internet is just one more means of communciation - do the same parents object when the team photos appears in the local paper?

PLL

A family member of ours doesn't want pictures of their children on facebook and the family respects that. There has been pictures from birthday parties that I have gone through before putting the pictures on facebook to ensure there is none of said persons children.

As for myself, when I had my daughter I went on a deleting spree, got rid of the randomers from college days and people I hardly knew so if i put pics up they are only seen by people I know and see and mainly family.

SparkySpitfire

grimbergen wrote: »

Seems completely OTT in my opinion - where do you draw the line, if one parent objects does that mean the whole team photo has to come down?

The internet is just one more means of communciation - do the same parents object when the team photos appears in the local paper?

And what if that newspaper has an online version so they put the photo up there? It's endless really.

ProfessorPlum

lazygal wrote: »

We don't like it and we don't allow it. Whenever someone has asked or done so without our consent we make them remove it. We are the custodians of their images online until they're older. If someone was doing it persistently we would make sure they weren't taking pictures of them to post in the first place.

matrim wrote: »

This isn't meant as a go at your stance but I don't think you can "make" them remove them. You can ask and any reasonable person will respect your wishes, but my understanding of the law is that so long as the picture was taken in public they have every right to put it up if they want.

From my understanding of the law (and comments regarding legalities over on the Photography forum) the copyright of the image remains with the photographer, and he can do with it what he likes, so long as it's not used for commercial or illegal purposes. If the image was taken in a public place (in other words the persons being photographed have no reasonable expectation of privacy) then if he wants to put them up on Facebook, he can. Use by a GAA club or a creche would come under promotional use, which is why they will ask for a waiver from parents.

lazygal

When I say 'make' I generally mean it'd be a close family member or friend that we'd say 'We don't want that picture up, can you take it down'. Its only happened once or twice and we've never had to get all legal about it. As we don't post pictures of them, most people know the score at this stage and don't even bother with posting pictures of our children.

Big Bag of Chips

SparkySpitfire wrote: »

And what if that newspaper has an online version so they put the photo up there? It's endless really.

I think.. but am open to correction.. that there is some guidelines about posting online. I know my kids have been in the paper for various things, and one thing in particular we were told (asked, actually!) the pictures would be put on their Facebook page. I was checking the pages.. online newspaper & Facebook regularly to get a copy of the pictures, and when I contacted them to know when they'd be up I was told they wouldn't as they hadn't gotten permission from all parents.

So, I don't know..?

SparkySpitfire

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I think.. but am open to correction.. that there is some guidelines about posting online. I know my kids have been in the paper for various things, and one thing in particular we were told (asked, actually!) the pictures would be put on their Facebook page. I was checking the pages.. online newspaper & Facebook regularly to get a copy of the pictures, and when I contacted them to know when they'd be up I was told they wouldn't as they hadn't gotten permission from all parents.

So, I don't know..?

I can understand the worry, and it's good they asked permission but that's a real shame on the kids who were allowed have their pic taken. I used to love seeing myself in pictures with events I did in school! And if they're online you can download a good resolution pic to keep instead of the newspaper cutting, or send it to family abroad.

The only alternative would be to blur out faces but that might leave you with a really strange photo if more than one or two opted for it.

I see entirely no problem with it. Of course as another user says "context" is everything. Posting pictures of my children in their bath at home is differnt to posting pictures of my children playing with a football in the park.

For me the "privacy" line is divided where people with eyes can see the thing anyway. If my child is in the park with a ball then people can see the child. So what is the difference if they see the child live or in a photo? I simply have no issue with it.

I also do not buy the line of argument that it is "the childs face and I have no right to post it" line of argument because surely that line of argument applies to ANYONES face. If we are going to stop posting pictures because we do not "own" the face in the picture - then we should not be posting pictures of anyone ever without express consent.

As I say - for me the dividing line is simple. "Is this picture of something people would have seen if they happened to be walking past anyway?". If the answer is "yes" then people generally can post what they like.

lazygal

I was a preschool teacher and we'd regularly have little concerts for parents to attend. If one parent objected to photos being taken, no one was allowed to take photos. Harsh, but they were the rules. We also had to get individual consent from each parent that we were allowed to take the child's picture in school doing activities and if a parent objected, we didn't take photos of that child.
I'm extremely glad my parents weren't of the Facebook/photo sharing generation. I would hate to know there were images of me from childhood floating around the internet and there was nothing I could do about it, just because my parents wanted to 'share' with their friends. I've heard all the statements about 'public places' and 'what does it matter if the image is out there', but as I said in my first post me and my husband are the guardians of our children's images, on and offline. If others don't mind photos being posted on Facebook that is their prerogative, but equally we have the right to keep our children off social media.

lazygal

lazygal wrote: »

but equally we have the right to keep our children off social media.

You have the right to ask I agree. But I have to admit I am totally in the dark on what peoples _actual_ rights are in this regard legally. If someone chooses to post a picture that happens to have your child in it - what actual "rights" do you have? I am not sure myself. Law is not my strong point.

lazygal

I'm not sure either. As I said we've never had to get legal about people who have posted pictures. But I heard a case on the news today about the right to be "forgotten" online. I think things will evolve.

CrazyRabbit

I'm shocked that so many have a problem with these pics being online. What is the harm really?

Paranoid much?

FYI...your children are probably recorded on CCTV systems several times per day & you have no knowledge of who is looking at the footage.

vitani

anonymum wrote: »

I would not like someone posting pictures of me all over their facebook page without consent.

Going back to the OP, I wonder if this is where some people here differ. I do quite a few races these days, and so there's often photos of me put up online afterwards. I don't particularly mind, although I do prefer that they're reasonably flattering Same with photos that friends or family put up.

Even before Facebook, I didn't really mind - I was in a couple of local papers for school events, and our annual yearbook in secondary school usually had a couple of photos of me that I didn't know would be included.

Is it the consent issue that bothers people, or is it something else?

Calhoun

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I'm shocked that so many have a problem with these pics being online. What is the harm really?

Paranoid much?

FYI...your children are probably recorded on CCTV systems several times per day & you have no knowledge of who is looking at the footage.

As a parent who grew up during the early stages of the internet, i have seen how bad it can be and no matter how civilised it is today you can never be too careful.

The harm is simply that 1. its damage limitation, just because there could be other sources that people could view images of kids doesnt mean i want to open the floodgate for a free for all, and 2. as a parent with responsiblity over my own child i feel its only right that i have a say in the control over how their image will be used or who gets to share images of them.

As for being paranoid, do what you want with your own kids but dont be throwing labels around just because people dont agree with your viewpoint.

lazygal

I guess it comes down to whether you mind or not. We do mind. We don't post photos of ourselves really either on Facebook. If people want to see photos of our children, we'll show them, but not on Facebook. I'm fully aware I'm in the minority. Most people have no issues posting one or many pictures of their children on Facebook, in private albums or publicly. That is their choice to make for their children. But equally others are allowed to make different choices. I don't see the big deal about not posting photos. I don't see the big deal about not posting photos, but my children are my responsibility and as far as is practicable we have decided to share images of them in other ways.

I have told my parents I'm glad they didn't share my image online when I was a baby, with the messy eating photos or me eating ice-cream in the park. I remember a case a few years ago where Budget Travel used an image of a child in a public swimming pool as a cover for their brochure. The child was upset when she became a teenager and got a good bit of slagging about it. How would people feel if that was their child, photographed in a public setting but used for commercial purposes? Adults, not babies and children, control their online footprints.

eviltwin

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

I'm shocked that so many have a problem with these pics being online. What is the harm really?

Paranoid much?

FYI...your children are probably recorded on CCTV systems several times per day & you have no knowledge of who is looking at the footage.

I don't see any "harm" in it as such, I just don't feel comfortable with it, I like my privacy and I hate my own image all over FB so I suppose that just extends to my kids as well. I don't post lots of pictures of my family, my house etc for that reason and most of my friends know that so if they started doing that on my behalf I wouldn't like it. I'd find it quite disrespectful.

Das Kitty

I post photos of mine on FB to share with friends. I would never post a photo of someone else's child without consent though. I don't mind when people post photos of mine, and I do appreciate being asked about it beforehand.

There was one particular photo that was quite funny, and someone suggested putting it up on reddit. That's where I drew the line. I don't want photos of my children going viral. It happened on a low level with a photo of my eldest, and I kept seeing it with strangers' comments. Mostly complimentary, some weird, as you'd expect. It annoyed me as I had asked for it not to be shared, but at the end of the day I put it up, and really it was mild annoyance and no harm.

Big Bag of Chips

I suppose another question to ask is how many of your "friends" are actually interested in seeing photos of your kids?!

I think the likes of Facebook has made ordinary, everyday people think they are interesting :P Ok, that's a bit tongue-in-cheek. But honestly, most people aren't that interesting (and others aren't that interested!) that we need multiple daily updates and to see photos of their kids playing football in the park or eating an ice-cream... Etc.

I know we all think our own kids are wonderful.. but very few others are bothered about them and their footballing/ice-cream eating skills.

Das Kitty

It's easy to hide updates though. So I don't really see it as an intrusion on people's feeds.

TBH, I love seeing a smiling happy baby pic to break up all the whingeing about politics and like-and-share crap.

I have my Facebook feed the way I want it at the moment, I rarely see a post that annoys me anymore.

Big Bag of Chips

Das Kitty wrote: »

It's easy to hide updates though...

Ah, I know that... And I'm not really talking about the odd photo of something genuinely cute, or note worthy. I'm talking about why some people feel the need to post pictures of: "Kyle** sitting on the couch watching Peppa Pig". "Kyle sitting at the table waiting for his dinner." "Kyle standing at the front door waiting to go to town"

Do these people think Kyle's movements are really that interesting that they are worthy of being "shared"??

**Kyle is a fictitious character and any resemblance to a person in real life is coincidental

Das Kitty

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Ah, I know that... And I'm not really talking about the odd photo of something genuinely cute, or note worthy. I'm talking about why some people feel the need to post pictures of: "Kyle** sitting on the couch watching Peppa Pig". "Kyle sitting at the table waiting for his dinner." "Kyle standing at the front door waiting to go to town"

Do these people think Kyle's movements are really that interesting that they are worthy of being "shared"??

**Kyle is a fictitious character and any resemblance to a person in real life is coincidental

:P

I do think that sometimes (and sometimes worry I'm like that). But then I just think an over-abundance of love is preferable to the opposite. It might not be ideal for the kid (or the friends), but coming from a home where one parent was one way and the other was the other, I know which is easier to live with!

Big Bag of Chips

Das Kitty wrote: »

But then I just think an over-abundance of love is preferable to the opposite.

You can love your child with over-abundance without telling your friends about it every 3 minutes :P

I don't mean you, as in you specifically (I don't think I've ever seen a photo of your "Kyle" :P ) You know the type of person I mean. I mean the type of person who from their homepage would appear to spend 10 or 11 hours a day on Facebook entering competitions, liking those feel good pictures and posting about how much they love their kids... Well go feckin interact with your kids then!!! Show THEM you love them, because most adult will assume that most parents love their kids. You don't have to keep telling us... Although your kids might want to hear it occassionally!

Ok.. time to step back now I'm annoyed... (I have a particular "Kyle" in mind )

eviltwin

There is a "kyle" in my life too...its annoying, on the average day there will be about 10 - 15 updates on this child and what she has done. I get that people like to share things, first day at school, medal for playing football, halloween costume etc but there is such a thing as overkill.

Big Bag of Chips

The thing about the "Kyle" I know is that if you were to believe Facebook this woman would be a contender for mother-of-the-year..

Unfortunately, she's definitely not

eviltwin

eviltwin wrote: »

I like my privacy and I hate my own image all over FB so I suppose that just extends to my kids as well.

That is likely the point where opinions diverge. The fact is we ALL like our privacy. Some of us simply do not see images on FB as being an impingement upon it.

I think we see sometimes that some people against the posting of such images say "I like my privacy" as if they somehow assume that people who are ok with such images do not. They such people care not for privacy at all.

The reality is just about all of us, with very few exceptions "like our privacy". We do not see the posting of images on FB or other such media as conflicting with that however.

For me, as I said, the rule of thumb is that an image being seen by a person on the internet that COULD have been seen by that same person had they been passing by when the image was taken - is instantly NOT a privacy concern. For me. The difference between a person seeing a photo of my child playing in the park - and that same person having been in the park actually seeing my child live - is perceisely zero.

Calhoun

[Deleted User] wrote: »

That is likely the point where opinions diverge. The fact is we ALL like our privacy. Some of us simply do not see images on FB as being an impingement upon it.

I think we see sometimes that some people against the posting of such images say "I like my privacy" as if they somehow assume that people who are ok with such images do not. They such people care not for privacy at all.

The reality is just about all of us, with very few exceptions "like our privacy". We do not see the posting of images on FB or other such media as conflicting with that however.

For me, as I said, the rule of thumb is that an image being seen by a person on the internet that COULD have been seen by that same person had they been passing by when the image was taken - is instantly NOT a privacy concern. For me. The difference between a person seeing a photo of my child playing in the park - and that same person having been in the park actually seeing my child live - is perceisely zero.

That's fine as long as you respect that other parents see things differently and have a more rigid view of privacy,

December2012

I think it applies to all childhood information shared on social media. How often do you see pictures / posts that give irrelevant information about their kids? (Before you "unfollow" them!)

If "Kyle" is 2 he has no voice or way to object to having his pictures constantly up on Facebook.

If "Kyle" is 22 he does have a voice and way of objecting.

If Kyles mother wouldn't put up a picture of him in his funny hat / complaining that he has diarrhoea when he's 22 she shouldn't do it when he's 2.

Calhoun

Calhoun wrote: »

That's fine as long as you respect that other parents see things differently and have a more rigid view of privacy,

I respect that fact. But I also respect the right of people to do what they will with their own cameras and the contents of them. It is not a simple black and white argument. It is one of those that divides people right down the middle. And hence is an interesting one for it.

And we can dig deeper and deeper down into such arguments and reach a point where the reality of it is, is that some people are trying to control photons - and whos eyeballs they enter. Which leaves one questioning ones own sanity

But "privacy" is one of the real political battle grounds at many levels these days. Which is why people get so impassioned about a topic such as this thread. It is a microcosm sample of a much larger argument. And my position in that argument is I can see no useful way to privatize what happens in public. From pictures of your children in the park - to the arguments about Google Maps Cars driving down public streets taking photos for "google street view".

To me the only way to render that which makes sense is to simply accept that what happens in public - is public domain. And if that includes pictures of my daughter frolicking in the local fountain - so be it.

To render it using the words of the poster above me. Kyle has no voice or way to object to being walked down occonell street where any old joe soap will see him either.

Calhoun

As I said you have your opinion I have mine, just because there is a legal right to stake picture in public doesn't mean I agree with.

I accept there are many ways that images could be captured but for me it's damage limitation when I'm dealing with people I know I ask them not to put them up.

I don't get where you are going with the larger argument, this conversation started more from a morale standpoint rather than the letter of the law, the op wanted opinion and what others felt. Looking at something so broad as privatising public life would be unworkable from a legal standpoint but it still doesn't mean that parents can't take an opposing view. It's like saying your that people can do nothing about it so just let it happen.

Big Bag of Chips

I suppose on the pictures in public thing.. if my child was in the park, playing football and a complete stranger approached them and started taking photos of them I wouldn't be happy.

Just because they can see them in the park doesn't give them a right to capture and keep that image! I would be very uncomfortable with that and wonder what use they'd have for photos of kids they didn't know.

I suppose online pictures are different to local newspaper pictures. Once a picture goes online you have no control over where it goes or what it is used for. You (or someone else) have "published" that picture and it is up there for anyone who wishes to take it, copy it, use it etc. Now, as mentioned before, I don't think too many people would be interested enough in "Kyle" to take and copy his pictures etc.. but the potential is there.

I know when I saw the picture of the little lad, with a scrunchy little face and the caption "Grand stretch in the evenings", I thought to myself... That was obviously someone's picture that was taken and captioned. I don't think he "posed" for it, or his parents took it with the intention of it going viral.

So I suppose things like that can make people wary of their kids' pictures being uploaded.

Edit: This picture is the one I was talking about.

fatherted1969

As someone who forever has a camera slung around his neck at football and soccer matches I've always asked permission from opposing coaches whenever i take pics at games.

I suppose its a different world we now live in and while i personally don't see the issue with capturing a child in full flow at a game or taking a team pic some parents obviously for.

I'd take 1000's of pics throughout the year and never once have i had someone question me about it. We have a consent part on our registration forms in our club and no one has ever ticked the no pics box.