work trip this weekend, unsure what to do?

afterglow

Hi all
I'll be brief, and hope for some advice here, as my head is wrecked with this situation
I am booked to go on a work trip this weekend, I'm employed under a scheme, all my colligues are employed by the organisation.
During a comversation I had with my boss a week or 2 ago, he mentioned that as there is 1 single room available I might be able to have it. Nothing was set in stone however, and I am not particularly bothered about having a single room or not.
Then the other day, a colligue asked me whether anything had been mentioned to me about room arrangements for the trip. I mentioned what was casually said by my boss, who wasn't there at the time, in response to this question.
This person absolutely had kittens at this point... Now I understand, that if she felt I was being given special treatment, that yes this was unfair, but I told her as is true, that I don't care about having the room etc.
This is only the last in a number of things/times she has had a go at me over the last while over various things.
My question is, should I go on the trip and try enjoy myself, or should I just do what feels natural to me and opt out?
I know I have done nothing wrong in this, and I have felt outside the general day to day staff thing for a while now. I know she sees me as different because if there's anything going on within the place we work, she would have conversations with the other "emlpoyies" of the place, and not with me, wouldn't tell me things that were going on etc. I know that I am liked by all other staff though, and also that my boss sees me as a proper member of the team regardless of schemes or not.
Advice appreciated

Mikros

As you said you are well liked by all the other staff and your boss treats you the same as every other member of the team. Unfortunately there always seems to be that one person in the workplace who always causes trouble, usually someone who has worked there for years and wouldn't get away with it anywhere else. You can't let that one person make your decisions for you. Keep everything professional but I would ignore them outside of that. Just get on with doing your work to the best of your ability.

If you are on scheme like job bridge and are hoping to get full employment out of the position I would recommend going on the weekend. It will show you are fully part of the team and might help you down the line. And if you get on well with everyone else there is no reason you can't have a good weekend out of it anyway!

afterglow

Mikros wrote: »

As you said you are well liked by all the other staff and your boss treats you the same as every other member of the team. Unfortunately there always seems to be that one person in the workplace who always causes trouble, usually someone who has worked there for years and wouldn't get away with it anywhere else. You can't let that one person make your decisions for you. Keep everything professional but I would ignore them outside of that. Just get on with doing your work to the best of your ability.

If you are on scheme like job bridge and are hoping to get full employment out of the position I would recommend going on the weekend. It will show you are fully part of the team and might help you down the line. And if you get on well with everyone else there is no reason you can't have a good weekend out of it anyway!

Hi
Thanks for your reply. It's great to get a completely nutral persons take on the subject

IrishEyes19

Go on the trip and let the other employee alone with her pettiness. The main point here is that you get along with the other colleagues and your boss sees you as a competent worker. It would be completely different if others treated you badly and you were alone all the time, but from what I gather that isn't the case.

I would add as well, I wouldn't take notice of her saying things to other people about situations at work. Most people like a conflict free environment, meaning whilst this person may look like she has the ear of other people, it doesn't neccessarily mean they respect or agree with her. It's just work politics and people don't want to get involved.

I think it would be a shame to miss out on a trip due to this person.

She sounds unpleasant and easily threatened. If it's apparent to you what she's like, you can bet it's apparent to the other people who've worked with her longer. Pay no mind, go on the trip and have a good time. Let her have litter after litter of kittens if she wants, it's nothing to do with you.

Rubberchikken

Definitely ignore her infantile behaviour.
Go on the trip if you want to. You sound like you get on with the others and this is pi*sing her off. If others were being candid, you'd probably find they're no fans of her either.
Enjoy the weekend

afterglow

Hi all
Thanks so much for all the replies and for helping me make my decision.

Neyite

Afterglow, is this the same colleague who you had an issue with some months ago?

Meauldsegosha

Afterglow, I remember your previous threads about this colleague and other people. You need to heed the very good advice you got in those threads, be assertive and stand up for yourself. If you constantly play the victim people will continue to treat you like a victim.

afterglow

Meauldsegosha wrote: »

Afterglow, I remember your previous threads about this colleague and other people. You need to heed the very good advice you got in those threads, be assertive and stand up for yourself. If you constantly play the victim people will continue to treat you like a victim.

Hi,
Neyite yes it is the same one unfortunately.
there is no playing the victim. I relayed the situation as it happened, and as you have both seen, I am taking on board the advice I got.
Because of the negative comments I got last time I posted I didn't post anymore in PI after this.
Thanks for the advice to all who gave it.

Meauldsegosha

afterglow wrote: »

Hi,
Neyite yes it is the same one unfortunately.
there is no playing the victim. I relayed the situation as it happened, and as you have both seen, I am taking on board the advice I got.
Because of the negative comments I got last time I posted I didn't post anymore in PI after this.
Thanks for the advice to all who gave it.

I don't agree that you got negative comments previously. Once again you're playing the victim. This issue with your colleague most people wouldn't think twice about and certainly wouldn't consider cancelling a trip because of it. Posters can continue to give you advice of how to deal with these people but only you can put that advice into practice. Take responsibility for your own behaviour.

Neyite

afterglow wrote: »

Hi,
Neyite yes it is the same one unfortunately.
there is no playing the victim. I relayed the situation as it happened, and as you have both seen, I am taking on board the advice I got.
Because of the negative comments I got last time I posted I didn't post anymore in PI after this.
Thanks for the advice to all who gave it.

I have read through your previous issues Afterglow. When you post here, you get a variety of responses, some of which you may not agree with. Posters reply based on their interpretation of what you outline in your posts, and often there may be very well meaning advice that seems to be very useful. But its up to you to take the advice you wish to take, on board, and disregard the ones that you feel dont apply. What I can say is that by and large, regular posters do try to give helpful advice, even if it may not be what you prefer to hear, its usually coming from a good place.

Furthermore, if there are posts you feel you are unhappy with, do report them and let us mods deal with any that cross the line.

In work situations, its an issue that most of us encounter, and its not very pleasant when you do. But you have to try not to let it get to you. The only important opinion is your managers. If they are happy with you and your performance and dont have any issue with how you act with interpersonal relationships with other staffers, that really is all that matters in the end, as unpleasant and upsetting as it is at times.

afterglow

Neyite wrote: »

I have read through your previous issues Afterglow. When you post here, you get a variety of responses, some of which you may not agree with. Posters reply based on their interpretation of what you outline in your posts, and often there may be very well meaning advice that seems to be very useful. But its up to you to take the advice you wish to take, on board, and disregard the ones that you feel dont apply. What I can say is that by and large, regular posters do try to give helpful advice, even if it may not be what you prefer to hear, its usually coming from a good place.

Furthermore, if there are posts you feel you are unhappy with, do report them and let us mods deal with any that cross the line.

In work situations, its an issue that most of us encounter, and its not very pleasant when you do. But you have to try not to let it get to you. The only important opinion is your managers. If they are happy with you and your performance and dont have any issue with how you act with interpersonal relationships with other staffers, that really is all that matters in the end, as unpleasant and upsetting as it is at times.

Hi Neyite
I realise that yes you are right. It's just difficult when for no reason you can think of, a person dislikes you and only you. Not only that, but everyone else thinks the person is great...
I will use this experience as a learning one.
Thank you very much for your reply. I don't mean to come across as playing the victim at all. I value boards as a very good resource and only post here when I feel I have a genuine issue.
I also at times have liked being able to contribute to other's posts and help in sijuations where I can.
Thanks again.

Tokyo

Hi afterglow,

you mentioned getting negative responses last time you posted a thread, and it made me curious enough to check out your thread history here. And no offense, but you do seem to make life awfully hard for yourself. I'm not trying to be harsh here, but 18 PI threads in 15 months would seem to indicate that a factor in all of this is you, and how you approach situations, and life in general.

Despite what you may think, you got plenty of good advice in your last thread - in all of your previous threads in fact, but you seem to pick and choose the bits you want to take heed of. The fact is, life isn't always peachy. Sometimes there are **** days. In the 80 odd years on this planet, some people aren't going to like you And despite what you may think, you don't have to get everybody to like you all the time.

Your mistake here was telling anything to your colleague in the first place. If your boss wanted a free-for-all for the only available single room, he'd have made it known to everybody there. But he didn't, and for what looks like good reason. But that ship has sailed now, and now you have to deal with it. If your colleague has her knickers in a twist over it, let her take it up with the boss - he's the one responsible for the rooms, not you. And if she's not happy about it, then so be it. Reading your posts, you worry FAR too much about what this colleague thinks, and to be honest it sounds like you take every little thing she says or does as a personal affront. If she doesn't like you, so what? As you said yourself, your boss and the other members of staff like you. Yet your constant focus is on the glass half empty. If your natural instinct is to opt out, then that says more about you and the areas you should improve in your life than it does about your colleague. You can't run from confrontation all the time, particularly something as relatively minor as this.

fiona-f

I have ni idea about your previous posts but I think your colleague has a valid point - it is completely unprofessional to be expected to share accommodation on a business trip. She may have directed her ire towards you instead of the correct target but if your employer cannot pay for individual rooms for all participants, then the company should send fewer people or make arrangements that do not involve sharing.

LegacyUser

afterglow wrote: »

Hi,
Neyite yes it is the same one unfortunately.
there is no playing the victim. I relayed the situation as it happened, and as you have both seen, I am taking on board the advice I got.
Because of the negative comments I got last time I posted I didn't post anymore in PI after this.
Thanks for the advice to all who gave it.

I too recall your previous posts. Not to be harsh, but there seems to be a recurring theme of feeling hard done by from a lot of people in your life. I think you do need to question whether you excessively feel hard done by, or perhaps you either don't communicate your feelings very well (people aren't mind readers!) - or maybe you are taking innocent comments to heart and over-thinking them.

If the same type of issue crops up in your life over and over, I think you have to question your own approach and views, because the common denominator is you.