Girlfriends Behaviour

LegacyUser

Hi,

my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now and are both 22.

At the start of our relationship / when it was all just beginning I had fierce problems with how she acted. I tried not to get to hung up over it but she used to act cold, distant and just you'd get the general impression she didn't give a f*ck about anything to do with me.

Luckily, I stuck with it and as we progressed I learnt that she's not really like that it's all just an act nearly. I don't know if she's scared of being so open about things or scared of being hurt or maybe she's been hurt in the past, I'm not really sure.

She's told me straight out that she "doesn't do relationships" so I must be doing something right since I'm an exception. I think what she meant really was that I'm her first proper relationship I suppose.

Before I met her I had just come out of a nearly 4 year relationship so I don't know if it's just me being so used to what that was like or I'm expecting too much.

In my previous relationship I thought we were proper in love etc. which obviously wasn't to be and I do love my current girlfriend but I worry that I don't have the same kind of connection I had with my ex. (When things were good obviously,not now).

She's going to America in June on a J1 until November which was planned before we had even got together. She has asked me to visit her which I'm sure I will but nothing has been planned yet. We talked about it and it's not going to be easy all summer but I've said I'm willing to do the long distance thing for a few months. I'm just scared something may change all this or that I'll go over to visit her to find she's been with other guys or something and I'd look like a fool. (I'm sure this comes from my ex who cheated on me after the nearly 4 years).

I do trust her and thank god she's nothing like my ex but I'm just worried and over thinking things myself. When I'm with her it's fine and I cant tell she's genuine and loving and caring towards me but through text talking is when she seems cold and distant which is just how she is it seems. If you were to read some of our texts you'd probably get the impression she hates me haha but we're going to have to go through months of this and I'm terrified.

We have talked about it , not a huge amount but it's all going ahead I'm just not sure what to do to make it better in my mind.

annettea

Hi i seen no reply. maybe she doesn't like texting . its hard sometimes to talk through texts as it comes out sounding wrong or harsh. Sounds like she's really into you if she's willing for a relationship even though she's heading away. Could you try video chat that might be easier best of luck

Dellnum

I don't think you have anything to worry about. Texts are difficult. You are just getting anxious about the length of time she will be away, but this could strengthen the relationship. The break will give you both time to figure out how you really feel about one another. The Summer will fly in and you will be back together before you know it.