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Giz the goss.

  • 04-05-2014 6:41pm
    #1
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭


    I've had a few drinks, I've just come home and I'm looking down the list of threads and I'm thinking, "Snoozeville, population:me". My problem, not yours. How was your day? Yous are off tomorrow, aren't you? What are your plans?

    I had a dream last night that someone did a poo under all the tables in the academy I teach in, so I kept having to find alternative classrooms for my students with them all traipsing behind me. I had to open the door, take a sniff without them getting a sniff as well and move on if I smelled a poo. I ended up giving them the class in the jacks, which didn't smell of poo, ironically.


    Today, in reality this time, I tried to give some lost Dutch people directions in the park today but they must've been the only non-English speaking Dutch people I've ever met. Terrified out of their lights, they were.

    Any stories?


Comments

  • #2
    Frosty McSnowballs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Legs.Eleven.....not even once :)


  • #3
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »
    Legs.Eleven.....not even once :)

    Once=11 in Spanish.


  • #4
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Any stories Senor Fancy Pants? Make me laugh.


  • #5
    Frosty McSnowballs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    Once=11 in Spanish.

    See, not once....but 11 times :)

    No stories I can post, I'm PM ya :pac:


  • #6
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    Any more poo related stories?


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  • #7
    Menas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    I just saw the woman next door closing the bedroom curtains.....of another neighbours house.


  • #8
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »
    See, not once....but 11 times :)

    No stories I can post, I'm PM ya :pac:

    Post the stories! I've put the kids to bed. ;)


  • #9
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Arthur Beesley wrote: »
    Any more poo related stories?

    I did one once.


  • #10
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I keep dreaming that I show up to a meeting naked and (very insultingly) nobody even notices.

    No sh!t in my dreams. :)


  • #11
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    I keep dreaming that I show up to a meeting naked and (very insultingly) nobody even notices.

    :D
    No sh!t in my dreams. :)



    Hopefully my bowels and I will make an appearance tonight!


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  • #12
    Ole Rodrigo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,013 ✭✭✭Ole Rodrigo


    Somebody just dropped a few bottles of vodka in a packed out queue in Lidl, Moore street. It was so loud, every queue turned around to have a gawk - not only drawing attention to his pitiful clumsiness but also his raging alcoholism.

    Double morto.


  • #13
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    I did one once.

    You should see a doctor about that.


  • #14
    Menas
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,318 ✭✭✭✭Menas


    This a great goss.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luke_Goss


  • #15
    KingOfFairview
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,388 ✭✭✭KingOfFairview


    Careful mate, sounds like you've this close to graduating from bed****ter's academy with an A grade


  • #16
    Mint Sauce
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,293 ✭✭✭✭Mint Sauce


    Sitting in watching the Snooker.

    12 hr shift on double pay tomorrow.


  • #17
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    ror_74 wrote: »
    Somebody just dropped a few bottles of vodka in a packed out queue in Lidl, Moore street. It was so loud, every queue turned around to have a gawk - not only drawing attention to his pitiful clumsiness but also his raging alcoholism.

    Double morto.

    :D:D Been there but not on that scale. So funny. Poor fella. How did he deal with it?


  • #18
    deise08
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭deise08


    Legs, gonna open a bottle of wine myself!! Who wants a drink? :)


  • #19
    Frosty McSnowballs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    Post the stories! I've put the kids to bed. ;)

    Does that mean you did a poo?


  • #20
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    deise08 wrote: »
    Legs, gonna open a bottle of wine myself!! Who wants a drink? :)

    Ah sure! I've probably had enough already but sure, why not if you're askin' and a pourin' says I says I!


  • #21
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »
    Does that mean you did a poo?

    THE BED NOT THE POOL!


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  • #22
    Frosty McSnowballs
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,396 ✭✭✭Frosty McSnowballs


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    THE BED NOT THE POOL!

    Oops sorry, I thought that's the way it is in Spain, my bad.


  • #23
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »
    Does that mean you did a poo?

    Was it before or after dropping them off at the pool?


  • #24
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    I've had a few drinks, I've just come home and I'm looking down the list of threads and I'm thinking, "Snoozeville, population:me". My problem, not yours. How was your day? Yous are off tomorrow, aren't you? What are your plans?

    I had a dream last night that someone did a poo under all the tables in the academy I teach in, so I kept having to find alternative classrooms for my students with them all traipsing behind me. I had to open the door, take a sniff without them getting a sniff as well and move on if I smelled a poo. I ended up giving them the class in the jacks, which didn't smell of poo, ironically.


    Today, in reality this time, I tried to give some lost Dutch people directions in the park today but they must've been the only non-English speaking Dutch people I've ever met. Terrified out of their lights, they were.

    Any stories?

    I was just going to say Yes teacher and it turns out you are one. Cray cray.


  • #25
    The Backwards Man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,299 ✭✭✭✭The Backwards Man


    I dreamed I was in Spain and the people there were all nosy and stank of poo and drink.


  • #26
    Arthur Beesley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,537 ✭✭✭Arthur Beesley


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I dreamed I was in Spain and the people there were all nosy and stank of poo and drink.

    You sure it wasn't France?


  • #27
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    The Backwards Man wrote: »
    I dreamed I was in Spain and the people there were all nosy and stank of poo and drink.


    I'd a similar experience in a little place in Ireland called Donegal. You mightened have heard of it. Jaysus the stink off that joint!


  • #28
    Ole Rodrigo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,013 ✭✭✭Ole Rodrigo


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    :D:D Been there but not on that scale. So funny. Poor fella. How did he deal with it?

    Kind of hard to make out - I was up the front, he was a fair few back. Not so far that I couldn't see a glow from his redner though. None of the staff were free to clean up so he just had to kind of stay there with everyone looking at him, glass and booze everywhere.

    Then I paid for my stuff and left. :pac:


  • #29
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,797 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    A neighbour of mine closes her curtains in her bra or topless sometimes.

    She seems to wait until Im in the garden having a smoke too.

    No,shes not sexy.
    In fact shes fcukin horrible.


  • #30
    deseil
    Closed Accounts Posts: 333 ✭✭deseil


    Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »
    A neighbour of mine closes her curtains in her bra or topless sometimes.

    She seems to wait until Im in the garden having a smoke too.

    No,shes not sexy.
    In fact shes fcukin horrible.
    I think she wants to love you long time!!


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  • #31
    4zn76tysfajdxp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,944 ✭✭✭✭4zn76tysfajdxp


    Legs.Eleven wrote: »
    I'd a similar experience in a little place in Ireland called Donegal. You mightened have heard of it. Jaysus the stink off that joint!

    Smelly, smelly county.


  • #32
    fergiesfolly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭fergiesfolly


    You know those threads that start off kinda slow and then explode into pages and pages of great posts and stories.

    This thread isn't going to be one of those.


  • #33
    Legs.Eleven
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,987 ✭✭✭Legs.Eleven


    fergiesfolly wrote: »
    You know those threads that start off kinda slow and then explode into pages and pages of great posts and stories.

    This thread isn't going to be one of those.

    Yep. I suspect you're right. Another disasterously failed attempt by me. Time to crawl back into my hole of HELL!! :(


    The alcohol is wearing off anyway so.....


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