boring life

LegacyUser

Im a single guy in my 30s and I have a very boring life, I have a good job and thats the only real thing I have going for them. I work all week and since all my friends are either in relationships or are married I don't get to see them very often.I live alone and I feel lonely and isolated, I sometimes get depressed about not being in a relationship but its more the not having a busy/active social life outside of work that gets me don. I know people are going to suggest meetup but that site is only good in dublin and perhaps cork, I live in waterford and meetup is rubbish here. I have even considered going up to dublin at the weekends and attending the events there, would that be strange even though I'm not from there? I know it would get expensive having to fork out for accomodation but I can afford it, this to me seems like the only option apart from packing my job up in waterford altogether and moving up there, but that comes with the risk of having to be on contract, would appreciate some advice

ItIsThatGirl

Hey:) I'm from waterford actually ^_^ Your life doesn't sound horrible, maybe a little dull - but it could be way worse. Wouldn't you rather be on your own than to be married in a loveless marriage? Which does happen quite a lot. My friends have tried a few dating websites, maybe you could try one? I don't think you're bored because you're not in a relationship, I think you're bored because you haven't anything to do. Why don't you try find a job? Just a small part time thing maybe? You could possibly find someone there, by chance

thegreatgonzo

He has a job already...
I don't think it's strange at all to travel to the meet ups in Dublin. I do it myself for the hillwalking now and then. Speaking of hill walking, you have the comeragh mountains on your doorstep and there is a very friendly group down there that organize walking festivals. I was there a couple of years ago.

Lou.m

boringlife35 wrote: »

Im a single guy in my 30s and I have a very boring life, I have a good job and thats the only real thing I have going for them. I work all week and since all my friends are either in relationships or are married I don't get to see them very often.I live alone and I feel lonely and isolated, I sometimes get depressed about not being in a relationship but its more the not having a busy/active social life outside of work that gets me don. I know people are going to suggest meetup but that site is only good in dublin and perhaps cork, I live in waterford and meetup is rubbish here. I have even considered going up to dublin at the weekends and attending the events there, would that be strange even though I'm not from there? I know it would get expensive having to fork out for accomodation but I can afford it, this to me seems like the only option apart from packing my job up in waterford altogether and moving up there, but that comes with the risk of having to be on contract, would appreciate some advice

Could you take up some interests ?

Sports or a film club or something creative or whatever suits your personality?

ManOfMystery

Your life is only boring if you let it be.

Outside of work, what you do in your social hours is totally up to you. There's a million hobbies, interests and pursuits out there you could take up. Learn a musical instrument? Take up a language? Online gaming? Charity/Volunteer work? Write a book? Outdoor sports? And so on. What kind of things are you into?

LegacyUser

OP here

My life is basically ****e, here I am another back holiday and I'm sitting at home doing nothing. I am actually been driven to drink because basically I have nothing else to do, yesterday for example I had 2 bottles of wine sitting at home on my own and the same the night before and probably again tonight.

One of the problems I have is that I have very low self esteem because I'm overweight and I have never been in a relationship, I actually don't enjoy going out because I don't have the confidence to go up to a girl and start a conversation because in my mind I'm not good enough.

Also I develop crushes on girls very easily and then go on to mess up the friendship because of the scarcity I have had with relationships in the past so I start to read into things and think there's something developing when in reality there probably wasn't

I am quite knowledgeable where it comes to nutrition and training so I know how to get in shape, my main concern here is that I am going to have live a pretty boring life to get to where I want to go


I have actually arranged to meet a councillor next week to talk through my issues, any advice in the mean time would be appreciated

Bafucin

I did an undergrad in WIT I moved down to Waterford for it coming from Dublin meant it was a huge social change for me even with college etc and I left a lot of friend here in Dub. After a while I couldn't travel to Dublin for weekends it was exhausting.

I started to get involved in outdoor life. Music and the outdoors would be my main hobbies walking camping and playing guitar. I found that to be helpful.

OP bodywise I am the other end of the spectrum tall and skinny to the point of being hung up on it. I found getting into nature helped me accept myself. You don't feel body conscious.

Join some social sports groups. I have hiked mountains with strangers and the camaraderie is amazing.

Take up an instrument. One you love whatever genre rock or folk or whatever and it can be something to do instead of eating. You can find others to play with.

Your life is actually going to get more interesting with all the new activities you will be doing.


Try seeing yourself as a deeper entity.

MugMugs

Op, if you want this to change then lose weight. Join a weight loss group and go for a run or a walk late at night.

Seems to me that's the one thing holding you back and the rest will follow once you achieve that goal.

araic88

Waterford athletic club is great for new runners, I'd highly recommend going along to a session in the RSC (Mondays definitely has a beginners group, probably other evenings too).
Tag rugby seems very popular around here, dodgeball too, and they're apparently very social.
All sorts of charities would be thrilled if you volunteered some of your time.

I love Waterford but a lot of my friends have moved away to find work etc. so I know it can feel lonely. Still, I think there are lots of possibilities that are a lot handier than travelling to Dublin

evilpixie

I used to be very over weight when I was younger so I know how it can undermine your confidence. Losing weight was the best thing I ever did. It gives you a focus, in your spare time so you dont dwell on the negative points. Also once you start losing weight you will feel like you are achieving something. It wont fix everything but it might be the start?

FurBabyMomma

If you're sitting at home doing nothing then you've no excuse not to be in the gym. You don't have to talk to anyone there if youre feeling socially awkward, just shove in the headphones. It's a better option than sitting alone drinking. Then who knows, once you start losing weight or feeling healthier you may pluck up the courage to talk to someone or take up another interest. The only things holding you back are your own excuses - it's easier to complain about having no life than make life happen.

PS Taking the classes in somewhere like Goldstone would be a good way to meet women, you'll tend to get to know the familiar faces which is less threatening than walking up to a stranger in a bar.