First to drive/see will buy mullarkey

filbert the fox

If there's one thing about the second hand car market it's the seller trying to pressure others into thinking that they've something special by saying:

"FIRST TO SEE / DRIVE WILL BUY".

Such a load o'balloney. there's a car on donedeal with this phrase and appears still for sale after 2,500 odd views!



http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/automatic-cheap-car/6451306

:rolleyes:

H3llR4iser

Let's not forget:

"NEED NOTHING FOR NEXT NCT"

That seller seems to have his/her mind quite confuses, the ad quotes positives but ends ends with "hence the price"...and then it's 600 €?

racso1975

I always love the "one lady owner, contact *insert male name* for more details.

H3llR4iser

racso1975 wrote: »

I always love the "one lady owner, contact *insert male name* for more details.

Which, in the case the "lady owner" part was true and it was let's say her son trying to sell it, still means the car has been driven around in 1st gear at 7000rpm all the time, never had any maintenance done, still has the original tires and there's a picture of Jesus stuck to the dashboard

Even more interesting are the ads for some skangered-up Civic, Glanza or a poor bog-standard Impreza 1.3 that's been brutalized into looking like a WRX with the very same "lady owner" indication...as if that "kind" of "lady owner" would be any better to the car than her male counterpart :eek::D

Henry Ford III

"Genuine reason for sale". "All electric". They all mean nowt.

coylemj

'Will sail through the NCT' means that the only way the car will get to the NCT centre is if you put a sail on the roof!

power pants

I went to look at a 2006 bmw with 60000 on the clock

one lady owner

I believe it too, coveredin dents and only one stamp on the service book

I walked away

aristotle25

racso1975 wrote: »

I always love the "one lady owner, contact *insert male name* for more details.

It can sometimes be true. I know my girlfriends father is currently selling his late wife's car on carzone.

the culture of deference

Full dealer history

I went to look at a 3 year c3 hdi with 100,000 kms. The ad said full dealer service history. The seller was listed as 1 female owner.

Car had 1 owner, not female, her dad had serviced the car, I met her dad and he hadn't a clue, no parts receipts, no idea when he did the services, no mention of anything in the service book.

Mycroft H

racso1975 wrote: »

I always love the "one lady owner, contact *insert male name* for more details.

Lady owner? :P

RS6man

"BMW V6 ENGINE"

It's a Rover K series engine. The seller doesn't have a clue!

Mycroft H

RS6man wrote: »

"BMW V6 ENGINE"

It's a Rover K series engine. The seller doesn't have a clue!

Same happens with the land rover td5. BMW had nothing to do with the design of that diesel engine and frankly, I'm glad they didn't

the culture of deference

Mycroft H wrote: »

Lady owner? :P

reminds me of the 710 cap story


Apparently a lady went to a car store and told them she needed a 710 cap. The sales people were confused and ask what she meant. She explained that it was in the engine in her car and was a cap. So they asked her to make a drawing of this so called 710 cap. She did and when the clerks looked at and turned it upside down they started laughing. And off they went to get her an oil cap.

johndaman66

No NCT but will fly through or will sail through and sometimes they would even say in the same ad will need a few bits for nct...wtf like?

Engine and gearbox 100% or sometimes you'd even see engine and gearbox 110%. I'm not even fully sure what this expression means. Does it mean that they are 100% there and present or more presumably running 100% or 110%. Pretty stupid and meaningless expression anyways whatever it means. What tests do these guys do to establish their engine is running 100%, how do they know its not running 95% etc etc.

"No cash, no drive" - No ye dopes. Don't assume people are going to be falling head over heals to drive yer rattly 110 bhp Bora just because its got 19" rims

Comhrá

I once knew a careful lady owner who's windscreen reservoir ran dry. She bought some washing solution at a service station and proceeded to empty the contents into the radiator. Soon had a trail of bubbles and froth as she drove down a busy main road.

wotswattage

johndaman66 wrote: »

No NCT but will fly through or will sail through and sometimes they would even say in the same ad will need a few bits for nct...wtf like?

Engine and gearbox 100% or sometimes you'd even see engine and gearbox 110%. I'm not even fully sure what this expression means. Does it mean that they are 100% there and present or more presumably running 100% or 110%. Pretty stupid and meaningless expression anyways whatever it means. What tests do these guys do to establish their engine is running 100%, how do they know its not running 95% etc etc.

"No cash, no drive" - No ye dopes. Don't assume people are going to be falling head over heals to drive yer rattly 110 bhp Bora just because its got 19" rims

You'd be surprised.... :(:(

Buford T Justice

Classic example.

Boyracer civic, bigass rims 'super cool' ice and lowered all round. All by one 'lady' owner who no doubt spent all this money to pop to mass on a sunday and down to the shops on a thursday.

http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/lk-bargain-lk/6828571

Edit: Sorry, forgot the full 'Electric' pack.

Foxhole Norman

Buford T Justice wrote: »

Classic example.

Boyracer civic, bigass rims 'super cool' ice and lowered all round. All by one 'lady' owner who no doubt spent all this money to pop to mass on a sunday and down to the shops on a thursday.

http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/lk-bargain-lk/6828571

Edit: Sorry, forgot the full 'Electric' pack.

To be fair, EK Civics are pretty popular with the ladies. My brother bought his off a girl that was the only owner since it was imported as far as I remember.

131spanner

"Cheap tax and insurance" is the most pointless one I've seen on DoneDeal.

homer90

131spanner wrote: »

"Cheap tax and insurance" is the most pointless one I've seen on DoneDeal.

^^^

Also

V12 but 1.3 in the log book...... GGRRRrrrrrrrr

Irishcrx

You can tell a lot about a car from it's owner.
You can tell about it's owner from the add.

There's a lot of crap add's and cars on donedeal , The spelling in some of them is what gets me. You can almost hear the scum accent as you read through it.

'Handa Civec fo sal , Vtic engene good goer ned nutn far nct , call Tomo by tomoarra fo cish sale'

CJhaughey

Not pushed about selling just testing the water....
I have an intense dislike seeing this on an advertisement.

coolisin

CJhaughey wrote: »

Not pushed about selling just testing the water....
I have an intense dislike seeing this on an advertisement.

This one right here!!

H3llR4iser

Foxhole Norman wrote: »

To be fair, EK Civics are pretty popular with the ladies. My brother bought his off a girl that was the only owner since it was imported as far as I remember.

Yeah but by "lady owner", I usually take it to mean "old lady owner", because I don't see how a "girl racer" would be any better than a "boy racer"

dodderangler

CJhaughey wrote: »

Not pushed about selling just testing the water....
I have an intense dislike seeing this on an advertisement.

I love that one.
Also love seeing ABSOLUTE MINT and a MISER on petrol.
No NCTM but will fly thru. Yeah probably in and out with " not safe to drive" sticker on the roof.
But my favourite is seeing lads selling Celia's or the boras saying 190bhp or 110bhp. Yeah that's what it was brand new. Think of the horses that have escaped since.

jackofalltrades

"Too many extra's to list"

Usually on a fairly basic car that has only one or two extras.
Usually included after they've listed such exotic extras as power steering, drivers airbag, or ABS.

filbert the fox

Irishcrx wrote: »

You can tell a lot about a car from it's owner.
You can tell about it's owner from the add.

There's a lot of crap add's and cars on donedeal , The spelling in some of them is what gets me. You can almost hear the scum accent as you read through it.

'Handa Civec fo sal , Vtic engene good goer ned nutn far nct , call Tomo by tomoarra fo cish sale'

Spelling? How about the misplaced apostrophe?
Con Houlihan once said that a man who misplaced an apostrophe was capable of anything.

Grammar lesson all posters please note:
1. The only time you use an apostrophe in ITS is when you want to say IT IS quicker. AT NO OTHER TIME. It's easy. However its owner is a lady.
2. The plural of a word is often achieved by adding an S. Not apostrophe S. So one egg, two eggs. NOT EGG'S.
3. The abbreviation for advertisement is ad.
4. TWO, TOO, TO: Two cars for sale, send a text to ....... emails accepted too.
5. THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE. There's a car for sale. Their ad says call after six. They're at work before that?
6. Fabulous not fabelous. For sale not for sell.
7. BTW here's what I'd like to see on car ads. in order of importance: MILEAGE, DOCUMENTED SERVICE HISTORY, NO. OWNERS, EXTRAS, FAULTS, (add your own here..)

MuppetCheck

H3llR4iser wrote: »

Yeah but by "lady owner", I usually take it to mean "old lady owner", because I don't see how a "girl racer" would be any better than a "boy racer"

You'll have the clean make up stains off everything. And remove hair clips.

alias no.9

racso1975 wrote: »

I always love the "one lady owner, contact *insert male name* for more details.

Or "one careful lady owner" and it's advertised in the damaged repairables section after rear ending somebody in a carpark.

the culture of deference

filbert the fox wrote: »

Spelling? How about the misplaced apostrophe?
Con Houlihan once said that a man who misplaced an apostrophe was capable of anything.

Grammar lesson all posters please note:
1. The only time you use an apostrophe in ITS is when you want to say IT IS quicker. AT NO OTHER TIME. It's easy. However its owner is a lady.
2. The plural of a word is often achieved by adding an S. Not apostrophe S. So one egg, two eggs. NOT EGG'S.
3. The abbreviation for advertisement is ad.
4. TWO, TOO, TO: Two cars for sale, send a text to ....... emails accepted too.
5. THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE. There's a car for sale. Their ad says call after six. They're at work before that?
6. Fabulous not fabelous. For sale not for sell.
7. BTW here's what I'd like to see on car ads. in order of importance: MILEAGE, DOCUMENTED SERVICE HISTORY, NO. OWNERS, EXTRAS, FAULTS, (add your own here..)

I agree. Check out my car ad

http://www.adverts.ie/car/renault/megane/2011-renault-grand-megane-dynamique-for-sale/5206286

alias no.9

power pants wrote: »

I went to look at a 2006 bmw with 60000 on the clock

one lady owner

I believe it too, coveredin dents and only one stamp on the service book

I walked away

But that was the full service history, nobody said it was done to schedule, just that they have a record of what was done

Celly Smunt

"Selling due to emigration.

May swap for a diesel."

Whaaaaaaa?

Henry Ford III

filbert the fox wrote: »

Spelling? How about the misplaced apostrophe?
Con Houlihan once said that a man who misplaced an apostrophe was capable of anything.

Grammar lesson all posters please note:
1. The only time you use an apostrophe in ITS is when you want to say IT IS quicker. AT NO OTHER TIME. It's easy. However its owner is a lady.
2. The plural of a word is often achieved by adding an S. Not apostrophe S. So one egg, two eggs. NOT EGG'S.
3. The abbreviation for advertisement is ad.
4. TWO, TOO, TO: Two cars for sale, send a text to ....... emails accepted too.
5. THERE, THEIR, THEY'RE. There's a car for sale. Their ad says call after six. They're at work before that?
6. Fabulous not fabelous. For sale not for sell.
7. BTW here's what I'd like to see on car ads. in order of importance: MILEAGE, DOCUMENTED SERVICE HISTORY, NO. OWNERS, EXTRAS, FAULTS, (add your own here..)

I'm constantly amazed by the number of people who can't spell "brakes".

No Pants

coylemj wrote: »

'Will sail through the NCT' means that the only way the car will get to the NCT centre is if you put a sail on the roof!

Also has no brakes and will continue through the test centre without stopping.

bidiots

the culture of deference wrote: »

I agree. Check out my car ad

http://www.adverts.ie/car/renault/megane/2011-renault-grand-megane-dynamique-for-sale/5206286

Swap for iPod?

BTW, Not dissing the car, just the usual replies on Adverts

TwoShedsJackson

Celly Smunt wrote: »

"Selling due to emigration.

May swap for a diesel."

Whaaaaaaa?

You do get some that are 'selling due to immigration' also. Bloody xenophobes.

To be honest, I don't mind people putting stuff like 'will fly through NCT' or 'One Lady Owner' (although admittedly, that line does put me off).

It's the cars that just don't have a description at all. Or the description is the name of the car.

Or two word descriptions like 'good nic' or 'drives well'.

Genuine question (I've never sold anything on DoneDeal) - Can you rabble on for ages, or is there a charge if you go over a certain amount of words? When I sell my car it'll be an essay of description.

djimi

Deleted User wrote: »

To be honest, I don't mind people putting stuff like 'will fly through NCT' or 'One Lady Owner' (although admittedly, that line does put me off).

My first thought when I see "will fly through NCT", especially when the car is out of test, is put it through the f***ing thing then if youre so sure! Surely for the sake of €50 and an hour of your time its worth being able to sell a car with a fresh NCT...

visual

djimi wrote: »

My first thought when I see "will fly through NCT", especially when the car is out of test, is put it through the f***ing thing then if youre so sure! Surely for the sake of €50 and an hour of your time its worth being able to sell a car with a fresh NCT...

Im convinced the owner knows it won't pass NCT but realises the advarage joe public won't notice when buying.

jackofalltrades

Saw this on the Luxobarge thread, S500 for sale.

http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/mercedes-s/6795763

Entire description of the car is: "Wery Nice car no west time"

wotswattage

'€5 she'll spin all night'

McGrath5

I saw this once in an ad for 1.6 Golf...

"No test pilots, dreamers, window lickers, tyre kickers etc"

Sure, because we all dream away at night over owning a VW Golf. :rolleyes:

Old diesel

"Top of the range" when the car isn't - its a Renault Laguna II 1.6 for godsake

Its not the top of the range Laguna II - or even the top of the range Renault either - Espace, Avantime and Val satis were higher up the Renault tree

Well serviced - well it may have been serviced once - and very well - but that's much good to me if that was at 10,000 miles and the car now has 95,000 miles.

Serviced by Volvo main dealer - does that mean that it was serviced ON TIME at the Volvo dealer for all of its 150,000 miles on the clock - or did it just get serviced at a Volvo dealer ONCE at 30,000 miles

wendell borton

jackofalltrades wrote: »

Saw this on the Luxobarge thread, S500 for sale.

http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/mercedes-s/6795763

Entire description of the car is: "Wery Nice car no west time"

Kim Jong-un must be selling it.

piston

"Good condition before accident" - weren't they all

"Car 100% but needs head gasket" - well it's not then.

"P.O.A." - Why? Put it in the add FFS - usually means hopelessly overpriced.

"All the usual extras" - like rust, stone chips and bald tyres.

"Genuine reason for sale" off course - you don't want it any more - usually a good reason to sell something.

Or people selling a crashed car and showing a photo of the side with no damage!

ofcork

jackofalltrades wrote: »

Saw this on the Luxobarge thread, S500 for sale.

http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/mercedes-s/6795763

Entire description of the car is: "Wery Nice car no west time"

That's been posted in the luxobarge thread,no service history on an s class!:eek:

johndaman66

jackofalltrades wrote: »

Saw this on the Luxobarge thread, S500 for sale.

http://cars.donedeal.ie/cars-for-sale/mercedes-s/6795763

Entire description of the car is: "Wery Nice car no west time"

FFS I'd put in a more detailed description if I was selling a clapped out Fiesta for scrap:P

131spanner

Almost 2k to tax it, he'd want to try harder than "no west time" :P

H3llR4iser

MuppetCheck wrote: »

You'll have the clean make up stains off everything. And remove hair clips.

You might have been kidding here, but for the life of me this happens!

My 159, bought from a second-hand cars dealer, has some strangely "worn down" marks on the interior plastics: the silver coating is missing in a semicircular pattern near the key slot and on the steering wheel spokes. There's also a bit of discoloration on the gear lever knob.

I wondered what these might be for a while, until my mechanic had a look at it. He immediately went on: "Former woman's car - my wife's car is exactly the same. It's the damn hand creams that chew through plastic!".

Looking for replacement panels now