Happy with my life but its not the generally life of someone in there twenties.

junction12

I'm in my mid twenties and live on a small family farm outside a small enough town.
I have two siblings in there thirties. They went to college got jobs/good cars/houses/etc.
I also went to college but was never happy there from day one. I finished college with a level 6 degree in a course I had no interest in. I read threads/advice forms online and they all say get life experiences/go travelling/go to college.
I went to college/moved out it was full of drugs/alcohol/people I didn't mix the best with but I did my best to mix with people so I took drugs a couple of times and drank a lot and after a couple of months I was accepted in the group. I had a few girlfriends and a large group of friends and in a good enough course. We went on holidays/working and I thought this would make me happy but I was never happy. I was miserable all the time and basically putting on an act to pretend everything was okay. I was nearly suicidal at times. My mother eventually copped on and said I could do what I wanted to make me happy as long.
So I left the course and broke up with my then girlfriend and moved home to our family farm, I was happy for the first time in years. Its hard to explain the happiness I experienced and still have now a few years later.I got calls of people begging me to comeback but I just said it wasn't for me,
Since then I help out on the farm, cook, clean , do washing, paint, DIY around the house. So I do do a stuff. I have a part time job as well and my ambition is to save and get a loan to build a 2/3 bed bungalow(most of which id do myself)on the family farm which I will inherit because I'm the only person with interest in it.
My relationship with my parents is very good and I do intend to care for them when there older. No intention of putting them in a home. And my siblings have very good careers and they rarely visit my parents. So I'm the closet to them.
I've no interest in meeting a girl and getting married/starting a family and never had. Kids are fine and I'd enjoy baby sitting for cousins/future nephews/nieces I also never really was attracted too wealth. My brother has a new BMW, big house in a city, expense isnt spared on anything. It doesn't motivate me one bit. Its nice but I don't want any of those things.
I love my life at the moment and feel my future plans will work but there not what young guys normally plan. So should I be happy?

zl1whqvjs75cdy

Op if you're happy then that's all that matters. Many people with loads of money and great careers would trade it in a heartbeat to be happy.

porsche boy

There are plenty of people that went the college route, have a fancy car & house, lovely kids and the 'trophy wife' but are they actually happy? Or are they stuck in a 'show life'?

In the past I've had big jobs, loads of pressure but good money to compensate etc but what I've learned is that happiness is truely a state of mind. I'm now in a different job, no pressure, know exactly whats expected of me etc, not fantastic money bit I now have time to spend with the wife and kids and my own hobbies. I'm far happier now then I ever was. I no longer want the big jobs or the huge money because I realised what makes me happy and to be totally honest thats all that matters to me.

If OP is truely happy with his situation then he, in his mid twenties has realised something it take others decades longer to realise.

Not sure if that all makes sense but in essence, well done OP, happiness is the one of those things money can't buy.

thegreatgonzo

Everybody finds happiness in different ways. If you are happy with your life the way it is that's great but why did you start the thread?
You don't mention any social life, are you lonely?

junction12

thegreatgonzo wrote: »

Everybody finds happiness in different ways. If you are happy with your life the way it is that's great but why did you start the thread?
You don't mention any social life, are you lonely?

I saw another thread on her and a lot of people was telling the OP. To go travelling to get experiences/etc . none of these thing interest me. Have done some of them and there not for me.
Im never really lonely.I have a few friends that I meet every so often and ring a bit. I also get on well with my family. Even doing things by myself I'm happy out. I like going to the cinema, places by myself and it doesn't bother me line bit.
I started the thread basically asking can you be happy with what you have and the moment/want in the future even if its different to most people.

Big Bag of Chips

I am slightly older than you. I went to college. Got a job, enjoyed it. Met someone, married, had a few kids and for the foreseeable future I will be a "housewife". I am very happy in my life. I'm sure some of my high-flying friends look at me and wonder if I'm happy... But I am!

A young lad who's a neighbour of ours is currently in Agricultural College. All he wants to do is work the family farm. No interest in "traditional" college. Had very little interest in school. And is delighted with his course now and loves working on the farm... He's 18, by the way.

Life is short. You only get one go at it. Your friends might be contacting you regularly to come back, but they rarely think of you outside of that. They don't really care what you do, or where you end up, because they are too busy living their own lives.

It takes a lot of courage to not follow the herd. And it takes a strong person to turn their back on what others consider the good life. But it's YOUR life. And what's good for you, could be unthinkable for someone else. That is why there's no "one size fits all". Live your own life the way that makes you happy, and leave others to live their own lives. The world is big enough for everyone!

thegreatgonzo

junction12 wrote: »

I started the thread basically asking can you be happy with what you have and the moment/want in the future even if its different to most people.

Well I'd say we are all agreed the answer is yes:)

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

December2012

One thing - don't assume you would inherit the farm solely!

That's for your parents to decide and to do so would isolate you further from your siblings / nieces / nephews if they were unhappy about it or didn't know.

junction12

December2012 wrote: »

One thing - don't assume you would inherit the farm solely!

That's for your parents to decide and to do so would isolate you further from your siblings / nieces / nephews if they were unhappy about it or didn't know.

This has being agreed on a couple of years ago. My parents are giving my sibling some road side sites and I'm getting the farm side.

Benny_Cake

OP, there are people in highly paid jobs who the world would classify as "successful" who would aspire to have the kind of life that you do. Google "downshifting", "minimalism" or "simple living" if you don't believe me! It sounds like you've worked out what makes you happy. Congratulations, and keep enjoying life.

boobar

junction12 wrote: »

So should I be happy?

Yes I think you should...I think you have something many people never find...true contentment.

As many other posters have said, different things make different people happy.

Good for you, the things that make you happy aren't material things. Good luck with your future plans.

tomwaterford

junction12 wrote: »

This has being agreed on a couple of years ago. My parents are giving my sibling some road side sites and I'm getting the farm side.

just as a word to warning...would be as well to do your green cert...it can even be done online and get the parents to sign it you before they die??

many,many irish families have fallen out over a few fields of a farm after the parents die....do you 100% trust your siblings not to force the sale of the farm upon your parents death...leaving you with nothing but a pile of cash??

youl not be the first I heard this to happen to

AnonMouse

OP, you are living most people's dream - you are genuinely happy. No amount of money will gain the feeling you seem to have. Like yourself, I have no interest in accumulating financial wealth. It just doesn't interest me. Keep doing what you're doing, and you will be content. Don't worry about what others are doing or thinking, as you can only control what's in your mind.

Best of luck

Rubberchikken

If you're happy doing the things you do everyday, and comfortable with continuing, then stop comparing your life to anyone else's and live the one you have.

Have you discussed inheriting the farm from your parents? Your siblings would surely be entitled to a share.
You don't want to have to deal with the grief that falling out with family members brings, so thread gently.

The_Conductor

Different things make different people happy.
Money isn't everything- some people strive to gather as much wealth as possible- and profess themselves happy because of it- perhaps they are, who am I to judge. Other people- take different paths- and enjoy life, rather than simply trying to accumulate as many of the trappings of wealth as they possibly can.

I would suggest following the above advice- and doing your Green Cert (or whatever its called these days)- and attending regular agricultural classes- its staggering how many ideas and suggestions that may come to you- and how you may change the way of the farm for the future.

Make sure that if you have an agreement with your father- that all your siblings are in equal agreement with it- and that its all official- tussles over inheritances are as vicious as tussles get- and often cause rifts in families for generations.

There isn't a right way to go through life- there isn't a pre-defined roadmap- if you do x,y,z you'll end up at a destination called 'happiness'. We all make our own paths- you have chosen one path- your siblings a different path- thats all fine.

Once you are content and happy- how you reach that contentedness- really doesn't matter in the grand scale of things.

Big Bag of Chips

I heard a really cheesy pop song the other day from late 90s early 00s... But one line in it reminded me of you.

"You only have to answer to yourself".

Once you're happy, and once you're not hurting anyone else, then it's nobody else's business. You're the one who has to live your life. Live the life that makes YOU happy - not anyone else.

Edit: Now you can go and figure out which cheesy pop song it was

happyviolet

If it is something that you want and that you are content with, then absolutely you should be happy! Its more than I have at the moment, i cannot make up my mind what I want from life, but you already have. If you are waking up content, looking forward to the next day and what the future will bring, then I am so glad you are happy.

take care, and god bless.