Parents keep hitting me

LegacyUser

I am a 16 year old girl. My peoblem is that my parents keep hitting me! Every time I do something wrong they hit me.Even if I don't do anything wrong they hit me because it is "good for me". They seem to think I am a punch bag. I am not allowed to have a mind of my own. they constantly humiliate me and hit me. I can't bring any of my friends into the house because they would think nothing of hitting me in front of them. I am worried about being taken into care because I have a younger sister and brother and I am worried my parents will start on them when I am gone.

Penny Tration

Oh, sweetheart. You can't stay in that house to protect your siblings. If, and I mean if, it was decided to put you into care, the social services would look after your siblings too.

Please, talk to a teacher you trust. They can get a plan in places to protect you and your little brother and sister.

Please, talk to a teacher. I think you're on school holidays now, right? If you are, leave the house, go to a friend's house and speak to their mam and ask for help.

deisemum

Please don't let fear stop you from getting help. green_screen has given very good advice.

Big Bag of Chips

Don't be afraid of being put into care. It's usually a last resort. Social workers are there to try to help families. So firstly they will try work with your parents on how to discipline without violence. You are 16, so you will be listened to, and your thought, fears and wants will be taken into account.

You don't want your younger siblings to get the same treatment as you? That is why you must do something now. Your siblings will be reaching the same life stages as you soon, and your parents may feel it is equally "good for them" to be brought down a peg or 2 incase they start getting too cocky.

If you really want to protect your younger siblings you should tell someone you trust about what is happening.

LegacyUser

Oh sweetie, I was in a similar situation up until over a year ago. I just waited it out, something I'd never recommend anyone do, ever (my "beater" died unexpectedly, if they hadnt I'd still be living in fear). Please get help. You'll most likely be placed in a foster family, I know one well and theyre lovely, and I'm sure no different to any other foster family out there. Get out!

toughapple

Sorry to hear about this o/p. I am not sure there is a lot you can do. I know a girl who had a similar experience. Some social workers called and spoke to her parents. The parents said she was exaggerating and when they were gone the parents forced her to retract. Things went on the same as before.
You should try and get a job and leave home as soon as possible.

Penny Tration

toughapple wrote: »

Sorry to hear about this o/p. I am not sure there is a lot you can do. I know a girl who had a similar experience. Some social workers called and spoke to her parents. The parents said she was exaggerating and when they were gone the parents forced her to retract. Things went on the same as before.
You should try and get a job and leave home as soon as possible.

Social services take abuse much more seriously than they did in previous years, since the house of horrors scandal. More than likely they'll help the op.

walshb

No person should have to put up with violence in the home. Report them to the Gardai or other authorities. It's not at all uncommon for one parent, but BOTH parents being violent?:mad:

freshpopcorn

Isn't coporal /physical punishment legal in Ireland tough?
So, aren't parents still legally aloud to discipline there children to sing it if they want. Obviously some cases are abusive.

Penny Tration

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Isn't coporal /physical punishment legal in Ireland tough?

A light slap may be legal. Doesn't sound as though that's what's happening, based on the op. She says they even hit her for no reason. That's not corporal punishment, that's abuse. Referring to herself as a punchbag would lead me to believe they're doing more than punish her with a legally acceptable level of force.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. The problem is that my mother is the deputy principal of the school. She forces me to tell her things about the teachers and they says it back to them. All of my teachers avoid me and won't talk to me alone because of it.
I tried to tell my friend's mam about it a few months ago, during the summer. I had bruises on my arms and shoulder after being hit with a hand brush. She asked me if I had an accident. As soon as I mentioned my mother she changed the subject and just said "never mind, least said sooonest mended".
It is not discipline. Icould tolerate being spanked if I broke the rules but it is the random beating which is the problem, as well as being forced to stay half naked in one position for up to half an hour waiting for one or other of them to come back and beat me.

Flippyfloppy

Hun please contact barnados on 1800252524. It's a free phone helpline. Also, save what you've written here for your records. And keep note of any incidents.

Please go to the Garda. Do you have a big Garda station nearby? Hopefully they would have a Garda there specializing in a case like yours.

Is there a school counsellor or a chaplain at your school? By the sounds of it, the teachers at your school would actually jump to help you with this issue, seeing as they know a tidbit of how your mother can be.

Please find help, don't give up because your friends mother was useless at helping you.

Penny Tration

Oh god, my heart broke for you reading your latest post.

Please, PLEASE, go to the police TODAY. If you really can't bring yourself to do it, take photos on your phone of every single bruise or injury they leave you with, and save them.

The only way this will get better is if you ask for help.

You're trying to protect the younger ones, but what happens when you move out? They might move on to them.

Please, call the police. You do not have to keep suffering like this. You deserve more, and you're worth more. Don't suffer in silence, please.

walshb

battered teenage girl wrote: »

Icould tolerate being spanked if I broke the rules but it is the random beating which is the problem, as well as being forced to stay half naked in one position for up to half an hour waiting for one or other of them to come back and beat me.

What rules?

You need to NOT tolerate any physical abuse. That attitude needs to change. You must realize that you should not under any circumstances have to fear violence from your parents.

Pawwed Rig

Please contact Barnardo's as FlippyFloppy advised.

Alternatively check this website out https://www.childline.ie/
You can chat to them by Instant Messenger. No harm in seeing what they have to say to you. They can give you better advice than I can.

Blingy

I just had to reply once I read your post op. Please take on board the other responses and talk to someone. Please mind yourself.
The mental and physical damage being done here is disgraceful. This is not your fault OP.

Claw Hammer

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Isn't coporal /physical punishment legal in Ireland tough?
So, aren't parents still legally aloud to discipline there children to sing it if they want. Obviously some cases are abusive.

Corporal Punishment per se is not legal. There is a defence of reasonable chastisement to what would otherwise be assault or assault causing actionable bodily harm.
What is reasonable at the time the defence was introduced in 1861 is of course not now considered to be reasonable. In the 1930's it was stated that marks on the bum of a 17 year old girl as a result 12 strokes of a cane were similar to "normal punishment".
It is unlikely that the courts would take that view nowadays particularly since the European Court of Human Rights forced the British government to compensate a 9 year old by who had been beaten with a cane on his bum and legs.
I am not aware of the social service intervening in cases of severe punishment however unless accompanied by other evidence of abuse or neglect. Not many teenagers want to show their bums to the social services and it is unlikely that teachers in school would spot marks on the bum.