working back month - want more money from my parents

nomon

I've just started a new job but won't be getting paid for another 4 weeks. I've no savings so my parents said they'd help out with travel costs and money for lunches and I'll pay them back when I get paid. I need money to go out too so do you think it would be too much to ask for more money? I'll pay it all back. This week I got €90 from them but still needed more. They said that was more then enough for 1 week and I only had to spend €25 on travel but what difference does it make how much they give me if I'm going to pay it all back to them when I get paid next month? Are they being unreasonable or am I asking too much?

lollsangel

Ummmm well perhaps they cant afford it?

Ocean Blue

nomon wrote: »

I've just started a new job but won't be getting paid for another 4 weeks. I've no savings so my parents said they'd help out with travel costs and money for lunches and I'll pay them back when I get paid. I need money to go out too so do you think it would be too much to ask for more money? I'll pay it all back. This week I got €90 from them but still needed more. They said that was more then enough for 1 week and I only had to spend €25 on travel but what difference does it make how much they give me if I'm going to pay it all back to them when I get paid next month? Are they being unreasonable or am I asking too much?

They are the ones bailing you out so I'm not sure you're in a position to be demanding. Maybe just cut back on socialising for the few weeks? It's not that big a deal. Maybe your folks don't have more to give you this week?

another question

I'm guessing you're probably young, so maybe they don't want you spending your entire months wages before you get it.

nomon

they can, the 2 of them have good jobs.

monflat

nomon wrote: »

I've just started a new job but won't be getting paid for another 4 weeks. I've no savings so my parents said they'd help out with travel costs and money for lunches and I'll pay them back when I get paid. I need money to go out too so do you think it would be too much to ask for more money? I'll pay it all back. This week I got €90 from them but still needed more. They said that was more then enough for 1 week and I only had to spend €25 on travel but what difference does it make how much they give me if I'm going to pay it all back to them when I get paid next month? Are they being unreasonable or am I asking too much?

Do they have it to give to you?
Are they goin without so you can " go out"

Id lie low if i were you as if you borrow 90x4 plus more youl still have to live for the next month and pay back the money you owe them

Could you just go a few weeks with 90 per week

another question

Out of interest, what have you been doing for money up to now?

lollsangel

nomon wrote: »

they can, the 2 of them have good jobs.

Yes, but all the bills that go with it, youre sounding a little ungrateful honestly. You should be glad they are giving you m8ney til you get paid. Loan or not, not all parent can or would bail out for a month.

nomon

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

theteal

Is a back month normal? I know a week or two back pay is usual in some places but a month seems a bit steep.

Anyway, sorry op, while you're borrowing money I would go out of my way to show that you're making it last, spending it wisely and not pissing it against a wall

monflat

nomon wrote: »

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

Yea but you are not " earnin" yet

theteal

nomon wrote: »

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

Dude, it's a month, suck it up

another question

theteal wrote: »

Is a back month normal? I know a week or two back pay is usual in some places but a month seems a bit steep.

Depends on how employees are paid. Usually, if employees are paid weekly then it's starts a week in arrears, different companys have different cut off dates when they pay monthly, if the op started with the company straight after the cut off date then they'd have to wait a month.

I don't think it's intentional to leave people waiting a month in arrears just seems to be the way it happens sometimes.

When I started with a company that pays monthly I started on the 1st of the month but their cut off was the 7th so at the end of the month I got one weeks wages and basically had to work 2 months before I got a proper months wages.

another question

nomon wrote: »

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

Ya but you haven't worked a full month yet have you...sure spend it on what you like once you get it but you need to wait for it like the rest of us do and most of us have more important things to spend it on once we get it.

nomon

I get paid monthly so even though I started last week I won't get paid til the beginning of the next month.

fineso.mom

Did you spend 65 euro on lunches ? Why not bring your lunch with you to work ?. 10 euro would buy enough bread/ham/fruit/yoghurt for a week, leaving you plenty for going out surely.
As another poster said,your parents have bills to pay, it's generous of them to be giving you so much. And the more you borrow the more you will owe them out of your first paycheck. what's left will have to last you the next month.
Congrats on the job by the way.

Arciphel

How old are you OP? Are you just out of college and this is your first job & I presume you are still living at home too?

theteal

another question wrote: »

Depends on how employees are paid. Usually, if employees are paid weekly then it's starts a week in arrears, different companys have different cut off dates when they pay monthly, if the op started with the company straight after the cut off date then they'd have to wait a month.

I don't think it's intentionally to leave people waiting a month in arrears just seems to be the way it happens sometimes.

Oh no, I understand that, I think it just may be a weird assumption that I had formulated that if a company pays monthly that they dont do the whole "back" payment model. Effectively an employee would work 2 months before getting a penny. As I said, seems steep.

another question

theteal wrote: »

Oh no, I understand that, I think it just may be a weird assumption that I had formulated that if a company pays monthly that they dont do the whole "back" payment model. Effectively an employee would work 2 months before getting a penny. As I said, seems steep.

Yes, I was told at the time when I started that the 2.5/3 week gap of arrears that I worked would be paid whenever I left the company! I thought it was a bit unfair at the time but by month two when I got into a system I was ok, just so happens 6 years later I'm been made redundant and getting the 3 weeks from my start date in my 'final proposed salary'. So at least they stuck to their word.

nomon

Arciphel wrote: »

How old are you OP? Are you just out of college and this is your first job & I presume you are still living at home too?

I'm 21, first job, living at home.

another question

nomon wrote: »

I'm 21, first job, living at home. my parents went mad because I asked for a fiver to get a few cans for Good Friday and another fiver to buy a friend drink coz they weren't getting paid til Friday so it was only €10 I was looking for but they wouldn't give it to me, said the €90 was enough to last a week. I keep telling them I'm paying it all back so it shouldn't matter what I'm spending it on.

It shouldn't matter what you're spending it on? Maybe they think after rearing you for 21 years, feeding you, paying bills and keeping a roof over your head and putting your through college along with giving €30 a week plus credit for the last few years that now maybe instead of spending it on drink that you might return the favour and contribute a small amount each month as a thank you instead of looking to spend it all before you have even earned it. God, you would need to grow up a bit to be honest and be a bit grateful.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

YellowFeather

This isn't a work issue? And you're 21?? Jaysus - I'm never having children.

Stheno

nomon wrote: »

I'm 21, first job, living at home.

90 euro should keep you going fine, as someone else said, bring lunch to work with you. Also think about contributing to the household regularly when you do get paid

Eoin

Thread moved to personal issues, this is not a work issue. Please read the PI charter before posting as the rules may be different

Princess Peach

After travel you had €65 left for the week? I could get a great grocery shopping to feed myself and my boyfriend every meal for the week on that!

Yes you are asking too much. Your parents are right not to give you any more, you need to learn to be more responsible with your money.

Start looking into how better to manage your money. When you've been paid and pay back your parents, start putting money away for a deposit on your own place because you need to move out and learn how to be an adult. Some people can live at home and be mature and independent, I don't think you are one of those.

LegacyUser

nomon wrote: »

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

Welcome to the real world where the rest of us have to live within our means and cannot spend what we don't have. How about going to your manager and get an advance on your salary? He's the one who owes you money, not your parents.

No Pants

The sense of entitlement is strong here, there are some harsh life lessons still to be learned. Leave your folks with a few pennies for themselves, an emergency may pop up for any of you and the spare cash could come in handy. They seem to treat you well so far. Later in life, you won't have your own personal bailout fund to draw upon and if you don't have something, no one will care.

The_Conductor

90 Euro a week does seem more than fair- and if anything, excessive. By your own admission- you're living at home, and have no bills to pay, aside from your 25 a week in travel expenses. If 65 quid a week for incidental expenses is not sufficient- I'm sorry- you have some warped sense of the world, ontop of a sense of entitlement.

Quite frankly- I don't understand how/why you feel your parents should be paying for your social life- irrespective of whether you intend to pay them back or not.

If you can't budget on 65 quid a week- I'd have very little faith that giving you more is going to help you other than to further your sense of entitlement.

I'm sorry for being harsh- sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind- very few ordinary people have 65 quid a week to spend on incidentals. Also- the days of everyone eating their lunches out- are gone by the wayside- even those of us lucky enough to have good jobs- only do it occasionally- it is not a daily occurrence. Think how much more money you might have- if you spent a few minutes before you left the house in the morning, making yourself a few sandwiches...........

dudara

nomon wrote: »

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

Part of being an adult is learning when you can, and can't, have things. Gratification isn't always instantaneous. Wait for the first months wages to come through and then you can spend your own (earned) money

Big Bag of Chips

So not only are you looking for money for yourself.. you tried to borrow off them to give to your mate too??

I think you need to budget better for your first month or 2 until you get settled. You think it doesn't matter how much you borrow, because you will pay it back. So you borrow a good bit, pay it back out if your first salary, and then realise you haven't enough to live on for the rest of the month... So have to borrow more, "but it doesn't matter because you will pay them back".. and then leave yourself short for the rest of the next month, and need to borrow again etc.. etc... etc...

Your parents are being good to you by trying to make you budget.

Make the money last. If you can't go out this week because you've spent your €90 maybe it'll teach you where to cut back for next week so that you CAN go out next week.

You are not entitled to borrow money from your parents. Somebody loaning you money is doing so to help you. They are under no obligation to give you as much as you ask for. You should be grateful for their help rather than sulking that you can't go out, or that your mate can't afford a few cans.

padma

Out on your ear I'd be sending you once Your first months wages comes in...21 is a good age to leave the nest...I was 17 myself..

meeeeh

Just wondering op, did you consider that the company might not want to keep you after a month? It might be prudent not to get into too much debt. (Plus I actually find your entitlement attitude a bit much. It is time to grow up. )

ABajaninCork

I think your parents are wonderful giving you so much money to spend. I wish mine were like that. I left home at 18 and never looked back. They didn't give me a penny piece, neither did I ask for any. I HAD to make it. Skint most (all!) of the time, but I managed.

When you get paid, and living at home, I assume in addition to the money you'll be paying them back, you'll be giving them 25% of your wages for keeps. Gas, leccy, water, bins, internet, Sky & food still have to be paid for. It would be a sign of appreciation for your Mum, and showing some responsibility instead of being a greedy, self-entitled little boy. I'd also be taking your Mum & Dad out for a meal when you get paid too to say 'Thank You' instead of you doing your Olive Twist routine and asking for 'More'.

Chattastrophe!

They probably don't want to give you more because they can see how dangerous it would be for you to start off your working life in debt.

As it is you will already owe them nearly €400 from your first pay cheque (and that's assuming you aren't planning on paying back any other money they had previously lent/given to you?) They probably realise that the more money you have to repay them, the less money you'll have left over to either start paying rent and contributing to bills and household costs, or else to put towards a rental deposit.

If I were you I'd be living like an absolute miser for these first few months, at least until you can afford to move out and get a bit of independence.

There's also the chance that the job mightn't work out, for whatever reason.

I don't think you appreciate how lucky you are. I've read threads where people have been offered jobs that they really want, but ended up having to turn them down because they can't afford the initial travel/relocation costs necessary to actually start in the new role, and don't have anyone they can borrow from. You are SO lucky that they are covering your travel costs - and a very generous amount for discretionary spending on top of that - would you not just appreciate what you're getting, and try to be a bit more sensible with it? You'll have loads of nights out in the future, and you'll enjoy them more when you're paying for them yourself with money you've actually earned, rather than putting yourself even further in debt for the sake of a few drinks!

I have to admit I'd be embarrassed to be looking for pocket money from my parents at your age, whether it was to be paid back or not.

punisher5112

Wow....

I wish mommy and daddy was that good to me. I really don't call them that but wow I would hate for my kid to turn out like op.

I worked from 15 and bought everything I wanted myself with my own money. Worked farming and that even earlier when was very young.

I contributed to the house and helped out with big spends when parents were stuck.

I wish you luck for your future because you have gotten off to a bad start and grow up op girls want someone that can stand on their own 2 feet.

herisson

Frankly OP, you need to grow up.

Your parents are not walking ATMs. You are so so lucky with the amount they have already given you, and you are taking it for granted big time.

Just because they both have jobs doesnt mean they do not struggle with money.

I get paid monthly (im not great with budgeting) AS soon as i get paid, i give my parents my rent for the month and give them money to pay the internet bill in total. If i am short money, i will borrow money off them,as much as i hate borrowing. However in saying that, the money i borrow is only for bus fare, not for wasting on anything else and i will pay them back as soon as possible.

The same went when i was in college. i was on the grant and if i was short for rent i would borrow money and pay back as soon as my next installment came.

This is coming from a person who is a year older than you.

OP you are not a teenager anymore. You need to cop on to yourself big time. Stop taking your parents for granted. Do not get mad when they wont lend you money for cans on good friday, that is pretty pathetic.

Sacrifice a few nights out until you get your wages sorted and you make a budget. Stop taking them for granted, you are grown up, you have a job, stop acting like a child.

Markcheese

nomon wrote: »

I got money every week about €30 plus phone credit once a month. Just feel I should be able to go out when I want to enjoy myself now I'm working and shouldn't have to wait a whole month to do that.

You should be able to do what you want with your own money !!
And when you have your own money you can... !!!

iusedtoknow

Jesus wept....

You do realise that you will have to pay the money back. If it's your first job, I'm assuming minimum wage, so around 1400 mark before tax.

As it stands, you'd owe 400 back to them before you've even started the month. Then you have your travel expenses and lunches, credit etc. This is also before you've figured out if your parents are going to ask you for keep. You could find that before you get to the 4th of the month, you're going to be wondering where your money is going.

Most if not all of us budget. Everyone, whether they earn 30000 a year or 100000 a year need to figure out how to make THEIR money last the month.

you sound like an entitled kid that has no idea of what the real world actually is like. You say your parents "earn enough". Do you know how much their mortgage/tax bill/food/electricity/gas etc is?

suck it up for this month, don't go out. It's 10 days till the end of the month - most could cope with that.

Sun in Capri

The bank of Mam and Dad comes to mind

Mrs OBumble

OP, how much rent do you plan to pay your parents each month, now that you have a job?

Coggles

I'm not even working at the moment and I STILL pay my parents rent each week. They are, after all, housing me, feeding me, washing my clothes, paying my college fees and giving me money when I really need it.

You sound like a child having a tantrum. Grow up.

FurBabyMomma

Honest to God the entitled attitude of kids who grew up during the boom really annoys me. You're lucky your parents have supported you for this long and continue to hand over their hard earned money so you can 'go out' and waste it.

Honestly you sound like someone who'll be still sponging off his parents when his 40 and at the same time complaining they treat you like a child.

Until you have your own money in your hands and are free to do what you want with it be grateful for what you have. The real world won't hand you extra cash just because you feel like you deserve a night out.

OP I'd agree with everyone else here. You have money for all your necessities (i.e. transport), food from home, a roof over your head, clothes on your back etc. You haven't earned any of these things. You don't need money for lunch but it's very nice of them to give you that. At €90 a week you have an awful lot left over after this, and from the way you're talking I'm assuming you're not contributing financially towards the household.

And so you want to ask for more money, for luxuries like blowing it on a night out, when you're not earning yet. On the promise that you'll pay them back.

So lets say your parents give you the extra money you want, and next month rolls around, and you pay them back. How much will be left from your paycheck? Will you not just need to borrow money from them again for that month, and live in consistent debt?

Frankly OP if you're not earning enough money (now, not next month) to go on a night out, then you don't go on a night out. Pretty simple. Sacrifice your luxuries now, and then when next month comes you can choose to spend on what you like when you like, because it will be your own money.

LegacyUser

Hey OP

Everyone's being a bit hard on you! My folks were a bit like yours and believe me, 10 years later I wish they had not given me cash every time I put my hand out! It really made life very hard down the road.

Budgeting is the most important life skill in my opinion

You need to make your 90 last the week, in the real world there is nobody in the background with a pocket full of cash who we can turn too when we blow all our money on nights out.

If you are paid monthly you have 4 weeks to learn how to make money last. I imagine your parents are eager for you to realise this before your big pay cheque comes in.

I'm independent now and there are plenty of nights out I'd love to go on because "I'm working now" but I can't, sometimes it's because I had to pay my car tax, or my heating bill was more than I expected this time. It's not fair eh? That's life.

If I were you I would try and keep a tenner of the 90 you get next week, then tell your folks you only need 80 the following week. You'll be learning a new (fundamental) life skill and your folks will be delighted you are actually attempting to budget.

Good luck

Cyclepath

Here's my 2c worth speaking as a parent of two boys, both over 21.

If you can't defer spending for a period of four weeks, you are destined to spend the rest of your life owing money. The inability to defer gratification is one of the single biggest causes of debt.

Are you so completely lacking imagination that you cannot come up with a compromise? As earlier posters said, perhaps economise on lunches and use the money to go out once or twice?

You need to adapt your spending to the reality of your financial status. This is a basic lesson you appear reluctant to learn.

Miaireland

You say that you are going to pay your parents back when you get paid. So already there is 360 coming out of you first wage packet to pay for them. You will also have to pay for your transports costs and lunches as I assume your parents will stop giving you money when you are earning. Buy your phone credit.

Can you really afford to borrow more money from your parents? You don't want your first pay packet eaten up by debt.

Flippyfloppy

If you can't get by on 90 a week now, how will you when you get paid? For a night out I assume you'd like an extra 80 from your parents? Which means you'd like 170 a week. That's not including rent you will be paying them, clothes you'll want to be buying.

Firstly, you can learn a lesson than you would like 170 a week & rent to get by.

Secondly if you borrow more off your parents now I doubt you'll have the 170/week plus the 360 you already owe them & whatever else you'd be asking for a lend of.

whirlpool

This thread is gas.

But in all honesty, if the OP's parents have been spoiling him/her for 21 years, then it's hardly the OP's fault to feel like they've been thrown a curve-ball when it suddenly stops.

That said, your parents don't owe you anything. For the first 18 years of your life, they owed you food, shelter, love and nothing else. Once you turned 18, they don't even owe you that much anymore.

To summarise, you are owed nothing. Not even a loan! I know that your parents may have raised you in a way that makes you believe otherwise, and that is their doing, but the reality is that you are owed nothing. And really, you haven't been owed anything for a few years now.

Actually, you owe your parents quite a bit!!

Louise Jordan

Hey OP.....You're getting a rough time of it here

So, here's my thoughts. I too had parents who looked after me too well with money and as much as they were well meaning it did me no favours whatsoever!!

Learning to budget your money is the single most important thing you will ever learn. Some people take to it quite naturally and others (like me) struggle.

Thankfully 10 years later I am now quite good at it and believe me, when you have money left over at the month it's a pretty awesome feeling, when you see it building up it's even better.

In the real world - where I live now - there's been plenty of times where I'd love to go out because I'm working and I deserve to but maybe I've just paid my car tax or filled my oil tank and I can't. That's life and it's actually a little unfair at times

I'm guessing your parents are actually preparing you for that long 30 days that your wages will have to last you. If you can make €90 last you a week then you're off to a good start.

As previous posters have mentioned all the money you borrow for this month is coming out of your first pay packet so it's in your own interest to skip on the nights out this month and maybe do it next month when you have some cash carried over!

If you want to reward your parents for their generosity all these years then maybe next week try save a tenner out of your €90. Then the next week you'll only need €80 and your folks will realise you are at least trying.

I know you are probably going to dismiss this suggestion but eventually, you will learn, when you have too!

Good luck

livemusic4life

OP when i got my first proper grown up job, i was living at home with my mum who was/is a widow, voluntarily handing up a third of my pay packet towards bills and also paying off my share of my dads funeral. He died when i was 21.

i worked part time i was 15 to help make end meet as my dad was really ill. When i went to college, i got a fiver pocket money from my student grant - the rest went to pay the family bills.

you don't know how lucky you have it. I'd be on my hands and knees thanking my parents for being so good to me.

and everyone else is right about saving. Mammy and daddy could die tomorrow and there would be no one there to bail you out in an emergency. Always have a fall back because your drinking buddies ain't gonna give a damn when you get in financial trouble.

good luck with the new job btw.