Constantly physically abused by my parents.. any advice please

LegacyUser

Hi unfortunately im suffering physical abuse from both my parents, I dont retaliate

I dont want to bring it to the attention of authorities as I dont want my parents to be in court have a criminal record or potentially put in jail.. I still love my parents

I would move out but I dont have the money, I could live on the streets but thats not a good option to have really

I dont have any friends or other relations in my life to talk to or help me out

I feel ive nowhere else to turn.. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I could do please im desperate here ?

Tokyo

OP, I understand that you don't want to get your parents in trouble, but you are in a horrible situation and you need help. Physical abuse is something that nobody should have to go through, especially not at the hand of a parent, and you need to seek help as soon as possible. It doesn't mean that you don't love your parents, it just means that you have to love yourself too, and take care of yourself.

It's hard to judge your age from your post, but if you are still in school, speak to a teacher and tell them what is happening at home. You can also contact the ISPCC and ask them for information and advice. They will have dealt with this situation many times before and will know how to best help you.

If you are in an abusive household, then speaking to an adult about it is the right thing to do. For your sake, for your siblings sake, and even for your parents sake, though you may not see that right now.

LegacyUser

thanks for the advice it means a lot

Ill probably chose not to go to a teacher or a neighbour etc as it will probably end up the same way as if I was to deal with the situation on my own

Ill give the ISPCC a go though thanks

Magicmatilda

Hi OP

That is awful that you are suffering abuse. What age are you and are you still in school?

I understand that you love your parents but if they are abusive then they are clearly incapable of expressing love for you. Is there a counsellor service in school or a school liaison officer? Have you spoken to your parents about it?

I think you will have to tell someone if you want this to change.

Taltos

Have deleted a post, normally we'd leave it and warn the poster here but due to the nature of this issue we are not going to leave it up.
All if you don't have constructive advice please don' post, instead limit yourself to the information provided.

Thanks
Taltos

dipdip

Hello OP,

If you speak to a trusted adult about this it does not mean your parents will end up in court or go to jail. You can choose not to press charges.

But it does mean that you will get help.

If the first adult cannot or will not help you, keep talking until somebody listens.

A nice teacher is a good place to start.

The chances are you will need to move out of your family home for a while. That might seem scary but it is not safe for your body or mind to stay with adults who hurt you.

Please speak up.

SpaceTime

You could also ask to talk to a Garda.

They're very approachable and would handle things sensibly and sensitively. Many have had training in domestic violence situations too.

Maybe ring your local station and explain the situation and ask for advice. You can always ring from your mobile when you're not at home and have a chat.

I would suggest that you ring a large station in your area during office hours (more likely to get someone with expertise)

If you ever feel your safety is at risk don't hesitate to call the Gardai at anytime. That's what they're there for.

Station contact details are on www.Garda.ie

List of stations

http://www.garda.ie/Stations/Default.aspx

Other options would be a teacher. Maybe ask if you can have a chat with the school's guidance counselor or the principal or vice principal?

meathstevie

It's hard to advise anyone because all situations although broadly identical have their nuances that are important to the people involved. There's one golden rule though and that's if the abusers' behaviour remains unchecked the situation gets worse both mentally and physically. I've dealt with domestic abuse in a professional capacity and I realise that the prospect of courts and giving evidence and so on is extremely daunting for someone who has no experience with the courts but where do you draw the line ? A couple of slaps and the odd black eye or do you need to end up in hospital with a cracked skull after being thrown down the stairs ? I realise that you're probably dependant on your parents which if your accusations are true makes it even worse as it adds to your vulnerability. You have to ask yourself the question how long you are willing to keep up with this and to what extent. Ultimately your only option is to get the Gardai and social workers involved unless you are willing to tolerate being assaulted in your home. And as for criminal records and so on, people who use violence without just cause are criminals and deserve to be brought in front of a judge and be convicted if the evidence is there to prove the facts. I'm sorry if this sounds all very stark and harsh but the simple reality is that unless you take the steps to protect yourself nothing will change and probably get worse.

SpaceTime

OP, don't be ashamed or embarrassed either. It's absolutely not your fault that you're in this situation and there are a lot of services there to help get you out of it.

The Gardai aren't shocked by anything really and will have dealt with similar and far worse situations. So feel free to explain it to them.

Ring and ask if you can make an arrangement to see someone for a chat confidentially.

Social workers will also work in your interest to the best of their ability too.

It's a tough one, but lifting the phone and talking to someone who can help might be a very good first step.

You might be able to deal with your parents in a totally different, healthier/safer context afterwards.

Main thing is to stay safe and do what's best for you. Everyone else will sort themselves out. Your job right now is to make sure you're safe! Don't worry about anyone else just make contact with either the Gardai or someone at school.

Rubberchikken

That is so sad to read. You must be feeling very alone.

I can understand you are torn with loyalty to your parents but their treatment towards you isn't the behaviour of people who have your best interests at heart.

The samaritans or childline will listen if you need to talk to someone at any time.