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wanting to be liked all the time

  • 15-04-2014 11:49am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    i am a person who wants to be liked all the time. i dont know why i am like this but i have a need to liked or complimented all the time by people. how do i stop being like this? when someone is welcoming to me or is thinking about me i get a sort of 'high' but if someone doesnt like me i get depressed or down. how do i stop being like this? and what makes someone like this?


Comments

  • #2
    Merkin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    I think when you're secure enough in yourself then you don't need validation from other people. I also think it's something that comes with age and maturity, as you grow older you don't really care what people think to the same degree as when you're younger.

    I personally live by the motto, "People that mind don't matter and people that matter don't mind".

    Why not work on your own confidence by looking at or striving towards personal achievements etc so you can get validation from these things rather than being needy and wanting other people to tell you you're great? So is you find something daunting (maybe running a marathon or entering a competition for something) then why don't you aim towards getting satisfaction from that that rather than transient remarks made by people you might not even know that well?


  • #3
    Dellnum
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 262 ✭✭Dellnum


    My motto would be "you can please some of the people some of the time but you cannot please all of the people all of the time", so there will always be people who do not like what you are saying or doing but there will always be people who do like you so don't strive to be liked by everyone, it is not possible and you will always feel inadequate if you try. We all have our insecurities, even the people who look full of confidence. I never try to win people over, because I know that no matter what I say there will always be someone with the opposite opinion. So long as you realize all of this you will be fine. Just be yourself at all times.


  • #4
    santana75
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭santana75


    This is actually a deeper issue than most people give it credit for. It would be due to your childhood and not getting what you needed from your parents. Basically the solution is to become your own parent, develop a nurturing voice within you(something that requires work and practice) love and accept yourself. I know the old "love and accept" yourself chesnut is always carted out but its actually true. You literally cannot please all the people all the time, you're bound to rub somebody up the wrong way so you have to let go of needing validation from others and only look for it from within. I cant give you a step by step map on how to love & accept yourself because its a personalised journey for every individual. But what I can tell you is that as soon as you make the decision to love yourself you'll be on the path and you'll get there eventually.


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