Move to London or not?

joythatisall

Hi All,

Just need some advice,

I'm 25, and thinking of getting a job in London. I haven't been happy for a long time and I think this might help me. I want something brand new, a new start. I will really miss home and I am a bit nervous and scared of leaving home. I think it could be the best thing I ever do for myself, but am I just lying to myself??

I think I would feel a great sense of Independence and freedom. I recently came out to family and friends that i was gay, I just want to live a little, meet people without feeling judged. Although that is not the only reason.

Should I go for it??

beks101

I moved to London six months ago so can probably shed some light on this.

Moving to London is hard, really hard.
It's a big, busy, chaotic, unforgiving, expensive city and things don't fall into line easily - I've lived in other cities before where things were a lot easier. You have to really REALLY work at things over here in order to create the kind of life you want. From the mundane - banking, national insurance number, sorting tax codes etc - to the bigger stuff like finding accommodation and new friends.

So, here are a few things to consider.

1. Job.
It all seems like a pipe dream from your post.
Have you actively researched employment opportunities in your line of work beyond just 'thinking about it'? Do you have any contacts in London? Have you been applying for jobs and attending interviews? Have you had any feedback from potential employers? Do you actually have a job offer on the table?
London is expensive, money disappears quickly here.
My advice would be to stay in the security of Ireland and come over and back for job interviews, until you've actually accepted a job offer so that you will immediately have a salary coming in on arrival.

2. Accommodation.
Do you have an idea of what part of the city you'd like to live in and what your rental budget would be? Rent is ridiculous in London pretty much across the board, but some areas are worse than others.
Where you end up should also tie in with where you end up working - more reason to sort that end out before moving. You could spend most of your day / life commuting if you find a place on the opposite side of the city to your work place.
Do you have any friends / acquaintances already living over here? That would be the absolute best source you could find for sorting out accommodation. There's a sort of "auditioning" process if you're looking to rent-share that I had never experienced before coming here. It's not just about finding a place that is decent, clean, safe, good location and reasonable - it's about impressing the live-in tenants so that they 'choose you' out of the 50 / 60 other hopefuls behind you.
Which is why going through friends / family / contacts is your best bet. Post your plans to move on facebook, private message some people, ask everyone you know over here for advice - anyone who lives in London knows what it's like and will be more than happy to help.

4. Have you been to London before?
London is huge. It's massive. Like New York and similar socially, and in terms of its noise, pollution, busy populations etc. Riding the tube during rush hour or walking down Oxford street pretty much any time can be a pretty overwhelming experience - I'm still getting used to it tbh.
If you have friends here, it would definitely be worth your while popping over to them for a visit and getting a sense of the place, finding your feet and exploring the various sides of the city, before making your move. Perhaps line up some job interviews and give yourself a few extra days after that to explore.
It can be overwhelming - particularly as from your posts it seems you haven't lived away from home before. I moved out of home ten years ago and have lived all over the world since, and it was still daunting to me. In terms of easing homesickness and building contacts, familiarity with the city etc, I would definitely advise you to ease yourself into it. People used to tell me it takes "at least a year" to settle in London - six months in and I'm pretty much there. But I hated - HATED it - for the first few months for all the reasons above.

4. Social scene.
The gay scene in London is pretty expansive. And there are beautiful gay men everywhere I have a few friends who had come out at home before moving here, but really blossomed once they moved to London - and became comfortable in who they are. The best nights I have here are usually in Soho (Old Compton street is a haven of great bars) and Hackney. London is a very gay-friendly city and judgement on that front is pretty much nil from what I can see.

So overall my advice would be research, research, research and prepare, prepare, prepare. Pop over to the London forum and become a regular there. Look into your hobbies and see where you could pick them up in London. Research your job opportunities, connect with potential employers. Research the tube line and visit places that spark your interest.

Be proactive and be bold. London favours the bold.
Best of luck.

ancapailldorcha

That's a really good post from Beks. Perhaps you'd consider another, less busy city like Manchester? I think leaving Ireland was the best thing that I ever did.
You've not elaborated on why you're unhappy. If it's just the boredom of being in a small Irish town or similar then I would absolutely encourage you to go for it. If you can sort a job at all before you go then that will help immeasurably. I would encourage you to bear the cost in mind as well and lots of cities here have thriving gay scenes.
If there is anything else you need, I'm happy to help!

Tramps Like Us

When you move you take your problems with you, this is an important lesson to learn.

People seem to have the idea that moving to a big city automatically means getting a big social circle, new friends etc. In my experience I have found living in cities (I lived in London for a while) very lonely, people are not very laid back or friendly as they are in smaller places and in general things were far more difficult (and expensive!), even making friends can be tough. When I lived in smaller towns I found it much easier to make friends and meet people. You can also experience some culture shock... yes the cultures are similar but they are also very different in their own ways

OP I'm assuming that by "Home" you mean your parents house, I would suggest moving out to a place of your own but staying in Ireland before taking such a big step

FWIW I hated London with a passion while I was there and tbh I didn't like England in general there are better cities to live in in Britain... I really liked Wales and Edinburgh was cool too.

ancapailldorcha

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

FWIW I hated London with a passion while I was there and tbh I didn't like England in general there are better cities to live in in Britain... I really liked Wales and Edinburgh was cool too.

I've not lived in London and have only visited but I do think that it's better that the OP takes a look at a few cities before making a decision. Time spent job hunting is more expensive in London than anywhere else in the UK or Ireland.

Tramps Like Us

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

I've not lived in London and have only visited but I do think that it's better that the OP takes a look at a few cities before making a decision. Time spent job hunting is more expensive in London than anywhere else in the UK or Ireland.

Sure he could try the U.S, NZ or Australia even

ancapailldorcha

Tramps Like Us wrote: »

Sure he could try the U.S, NZ or Australia even

Perhaps he wants to be close to home or doesn't have the capital to move that far away.
I think we're on the verge of going off-topic in any case.

iusedtoknow

joythatisall wrote: »

Hi All,

Just need some advice,

I'm 25, and thinking of getting a job in London. I haven't been happy for a long time and I think this might help me. I want something brand new, a new start. I will really miss home and I am a bit nervous and scared of leaving home. I think it could be the best thing I ever do for myself, but am I just lying to myself??

I think I would feel a great sense of Independence and freedom. I recently came out to family and friends that i was gay, I just want to live a little, meet people without feeling judged. Although that is not the only reason.

Should I go for it??

First of all, congratulations on coming out. I remember vividly when my sister came out to us, it was difficult for her but seemed to lift a huge burden from her shoulders - she seemed more alive and was more open with us from then on.

However...you need to think deeply about why you're moving away, and what the benefits would be. If you're unhappy at home, you're going to be unhappy there. It is the reality. Sure there is a temporary uplift when you're trying something new, like a new city or something - but the normal every day things will soon catch up. You'll still need to pay the bills, work hard and sometimes not see your mates for days on end because everyone else has to work hard as well.

Do you have work experience/skills that can translate into a job?

have you thought about maybe moving to dublin as a starter option (unless you're from there ) or at least out of your parents place to spread your wings a bit first.

Also, have you thought about one of the smaller cities like Brighton/Bristol/Manchester - they are all great places.

QueenBee1

I would say follow your heart. Whats the worst that can happen, you dont like it, it doesnt work out like you hoped? All you have to do is hop on a plane home! You wont know unless you try and you will always look back and say why didnt I, you will never say why DID I. Best of luck with your decision

Calhoun

iusedtoknow wrote: »

However...you need to think deeply about why you're moving away, and what the benefits would be. If you're unhappy at home, you're going to be unhappy there. It is the reality. Sure there is a temporary uplift when you're trying something new, like a new city or something - but the normal every day things will soon catch up. You'll still need to pay the bills, work hard and sometimes not see your mates for days on end because everyone else has to work hard as well.

I think this is really good advice, i would always advise anyone thinking of living or working abroad to give it a go to widen your horizons but do it from the right reasons.

No matter what you do in life, more often than not some people will judge you. Most people thankfully are so caught up in their own lives they dont really see or care what most are up to.

So basically what i am saying is, screw the people who are judging you for being gay be happy with who you are. Once you are comfortable in your on skin is all that matters.

Do however follow the advice Bek's gave, jumping in with two feet would be a bad thing. I remember watching a program a little while back about the poverty trap that exists in London from graduates in the UK moving from small towns and finding it hard to cope.

joythatisall

Hi Folks, Thanks for all your great advice, thanks for taking the time. I have now decided against London for the time being and try Dublin or Edinburgh! So will see how it goes! Thanks again everyone

QueenBee1

Best of luck hope it all works out the way you hope