would like friends

needsfriends

Hi everyone, I'm going anonymously for this one. I'm female late twenties and feel like I need some more friends. I am in a great relationship and happy with that, its just I don't have many of my own friends outside of that. A lot of my good friends have gone to Canada and Australia so I feel lonely sometimes.

I tried joining a gym and a yoga studio but found they weren't great for getting talking to people. I have joined meet ups.com based on advice I saw on similar threads and will start meeting them soon.

My question really is could anyone please recommend hobbies or volunteering that are actually sociable?I'm not sporty but up for trying anything else. The courses etc I have done so far were not social at all. I found that with the evening courses people would just go home straight after.

I need to be more proactive I know,I'm very shy but want to push myself. Any advice would be great, thank you for reading.

SebBerkovich

Maybe try a creative writing course.
Where you produce and talking about stuff with other folk in the class. It's a lot more social. I know a few people who have come out courses like that with a few new friends. Certainly worth a try.

Tokyo

needsfriends wrote: »

My question really is could anyone please recommend hobbies or volunteering that are actually sociable?I'm not sporty but up for trying anything else. The courses etc I have done so far were not social at all. I found that with the evening courses people would just go home straight after.

I need to be more proactive I know,I'm very shy but want to push myself. Any advice would be great, thank you for reading.

Depends on what you are into I suppose, but in my case most of my friends I have I've met over the years through hillwalking and mountaineering - any hobby that involves going for a pint afterwards to warm up again is generally going to be pretty sociable. More importantly though I think is finding a hobby that you are interested in, rather than finding one that has the greatest odds of meeting people. At the end of the day you want to be friends with people who have the same interests as you do.

Gannicus

Keep an eye out for some boards nights out etc. Handy way of meeting "new" people.

There's loads of different forums on here for different interests. Join a few discussions and get chatting to like minded people.

Try taking a class in something you're interested in.

Maybe ask some work friends out (other than the usual Friday night drinks)

Est28

needsfriends wrote: »

I need to be more proactive I know,I'm very shy but want to push myself. Any advice would be great, thank you for reading.

Its all in this line I'm afraid. I am much the same but when I moved abroad I just learned that nobody will come to you. You have to go to them.

There's no special hobby which fixes it all. If you went to yoga for example. Are you actively striking up conversation with the instructor and the other girls there before and after? There's no other way.

MissPink

Where are you based?? You're definitely not alone! I'm in the same boat - have a great partner and good friends (mixed group of mine and OH's friends) but I'd like to meet my own friends! It's harder than people realise!!

needsfriends

Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions. I live in south Dublin so I know I should find it easier than I do to meet people! I just find that a lot of people have their friend groups already at my age. My job doesn't help too much as I am the only person in the office younger than 40's, so while I get on well with my colleagues, they aren't really interested in socialising.

I miss college in lots of ways because of how many people were around! I will start signing up for classes now though and push myself to talk to people more. Appreciate everyone who took the time to post,and if anyone else has suggestions I'd be really grateful thanks

MissPink

needsfriends wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions. I live in south Dublin so I know I should find it easier than I do to meet people! I just find that a lot of people have their friend groups already at my age. My job doesn't help too much as I am the only person in the office younger than 40's, so while I get on well with my colleagues, they aren't really interested in socialising.

I miss college in lots of ways because of how many people were around! I will start signing up for classes now though and push myself to talk to people more. Appreciate everyone who took the time to post,and if anyone else has suggestions I'd be really grateful thanks

I've started going to boot camps and exercise classes, which are great, but at the same time, hard to meet people there cas people are just concentrating on exercise! Which is understandable!!

I'm considering trying some volunteering

needsfriends

MissPink wrote: »

I've started going to boot camps and exercise classes, which are great, but at the same time, hard to meet people there cas people are just concentrating on exercise! Which is understandable!!

I'm considering trying some volunteering

We sound like we're in similar positions! I find the same with exercise classes,people just wanna focus on getting fit instead of making friends. My only hesitation about meet ups is that the groups will be too big and intimidating but I will push myself 😊

Scaldy Ned

I've got two daughter's ...one 25 the other 29.
They've both lived abroad for a while and found themselves in this position. I think that there's nothing worse in this life than loneliness and ironically it seems to be a shameful thing for us to admit it.....I would argue that it is possibly one of the main reasons for suicide the world over.My advice to you is this....forget all this bull**** of joining gyms or clubs that you're not into just to meet people.
Use the "region" section of boards.ie and explain your situation to Girls/Boys in your area and i guarantee you that within a week or two you will make friends that will stay with you for life.....I have enough faith in Irish warmth and empathy to guarantee that.
Do not let loneliness make you feel subdued....it affects us all at some stage in our lives.
Good luck

Gannicus

needsfriends wrote: »

We sound like we're in similar positions.

needsfriends wrote: »

Hi everyone, I'm going anonymously for this one. I'm female late twenties and feel like I need some more friends.

I'm not trying to sound stupid or take the mick but you could always chat privately on this and you never know you may have a new friend in each other. Just a suggestion

needsfriends

Thanks everyone for taking the time to post. I'm very lucky in the sense that I have a really good life,love my boyfriend, love my friends even though a lot are abroad and its only Facebook that keeps us in contact! Just looking to expand my horizons a bit and the suggestions so far have been great 😊

sunshine and showers

Just a suggestion, but if you're in the South Dublin area and want to make a good friend, you could try volunteering with Making Connections. They are a befriending service for elderly people who live alone. Might not be your thing, but I love going for a cup of tea and a chat with the people I've met. They have interesting stories and it can make their day to have a visitor.

piston

I'm male but had similar issues and tried all the usual evening courses, hillwalking etc without making any real progress.

The one thing that has been truely life changing in terms of making friends and building confidence was starting going to dance classes (Salsa in my case). I was dragged along by a work colleague and not looking forward to it, worrying I had 2 left feet, etc but it's the best thing I ever did.

As you rotate partners during the lessons, you quickly become comfortable talking to strangers and there will be a social scene attached, it is huge fun and good exercise.

highly1111

I'm in a hockey club and it is a brilliant way to make friends - because its a team sport, you get to know the other girls in weeks. Now, some of my best friends are hockey girls. (btw, I'm brutal at hockey - play the lowest division but I'm not in the club for the hockey!!!)

Scaldy Ned

sunshine and showers wrote: »

Just a suggestion, but if you're in the South Dublin area and want to make a good friend, you could try volunteering with Making Connections. They are a befriending service for elderly people who live alone. Might not be your thing, but I love going for a cup of tea and a chat with the people I've met. They have interesting stories and it can make their day to have a visitor.

Best post on this thread ...and without wanting to patronise well done to you Sunshine.
It's very sad the way widows and widowers end up looking out at life through the window, Our lives are so busy that we tend to overlook them even though we know in the back of our minds we could make a difference ....we convince ourselves that we can't at the moment...."but someday we will".
When i was newly married we lived next to an elderly woman .....We called in every day for a few minutes and asked if she needed any shopping and stuff like that.....but only for a few minutes every day.
When she died it transpired that she had 4 kids .....in 5 years we never saw any of them. We felt so guilty .
We vowed that if we were ever in the same situation again we would atone.
If you know of any elderly people in this situation please , please make the effort to brighten their life and you will brighten your own life as well....Bring in a bottle of wine or a couple of beers and watch tv with them for an hour or two and let them know you're there for them.There but for the grace of God go i

I've often thought that a perfect match for Students looking for accommodation for college/university would be to live with lonely widows and widowers , think about it ......everybody wins if it's managed properly ? Could anyone develop this idea for a student thread ?

DoozerT6

I've posted similar before, but if you're musical, joining a modern choir or your local musical society is a great way to make friends: both are social activities by their nature, and if you compete around the country or participate in shows/concerts, it's a nice way to see a bit of the country with the others in the group. You may find that others in the group joined for the exact same reasons as you and are very open to making friends

needsfriends

Some amazing ideas on here everyone thank you again for taking the time! Will definitely use a lot of the ideas here. Just a strange question, is there such thing as book clubs for young ish people?I tried joining one when I still lived at home and everyone was about twenty years older. Which obviously is fine, would just love one where people were in similar circumstances to me? Thanks again!