Eloping

anamara86

Hi all,

My partner & I are planning on eloping & would love to hear about other people's experiences.

We are planning on letting everyone know when & where we are getting married as we are planning a big party when we get back. It will just be the two of us. Neither of us want to stress that is involved in organising a traditional Irish wedding.

What kind of reactions did you get from parents friends etc? I know my OH's parents will be fine with it, but my mother is incredibly traditional & will be upset that 1. it's not in a church and 2. it will just be the two of us...

ameee

No experience but we are planning to do the same next year just the two of us and our three children. My parents are not religious and always said they hated their wedding day due to family politics and stress so wont mind. His parents are getting on abd wouldn't be able for a big day anyway. Dont think anyone else will mind either .


We are not telling anyone until the deed is done but we are together twelve years so people probably forget we are not married anyway. We are not having a party after because people always seem to think its about getting presents from people and im happier with the I didnt give you a meal and day out so you dont give me a gift arrangement :-)


Thinking of doing it in ireland but not a registry office somewhere like the seaview house in doolin, they do an elopement package. Had been looking at grettna green but seen some awful reviews. Would have loved vegas but our youngest is four months so it would be too hard.

Where are you eloping too?

homemadecider

We are doing something similar this year, the two of us are getting married overseas with no attendees. We booked everything through a travel agent including all the legal stuff needed for the wedding ceremony.

Both sides of parents were fine about it, absolutely no problem there. If they'd hadn't been we might have tried to compromise a bit but we were never going to down the route of a traditional Irish wedding, as we just don't like that kind of thing at all.

We will have a private family dinner when we're back followed by a big party for all our friends with lots of free wine. No stress, no hassle.

guile4582

Looking to do something similar, maybe take off to Berlin and get it done. would still love photography done obviously. can anyone recommend an one stop shop for eloping abroad?

which travel agent you use homemadecider?

Pat_custard

please excuse my ignorance if I'm wrong but does "to elope" not mean to get married in secret? :P

guile4582

we don't plan on telling anyone bar the person who will preform the ceremony
and I felt the photographer will need some guidance

dori_dormer

Just on a flip side for some balance..

My cousin and her boyfriend were living in Australia, they decided to get married out there before coming home. They told everyone what was happening but that no one was allowed come. Her mum ( my aunt) was extremely hurt and upset. She respected their choice so didn't cause an argument, but she even had to get up at 3 am for a Skype call to see her daughter before the ceremony. She cried for days.

This may not happen to you obviously. When they came home 4 mths later, his parents wanted a party. Insisted actually as they had 'stolen' a wonderful day from them. It basically ended up a 200 person wedding reception, speeches and White dress and all. Now this is aparently everything they didn't want but were bullied and guilted into it. Also they didn't pay for it.

All I know is no one got the outcome they wanted and there was a lot of hurt feelings surrounding their marriage which is v sad.

guile4582

both sets of parents realists, they would prefer we used the money on a deposit for a house

MrWalsh

Yeah I did it, we ran off and did it and phoned home afterwards.

We did have a party when we got home but it wasnt a "formal" affair, and it was just finger food and booze, no speeches, no white dress.

My parents werent alive so it was really only his parents we had to tell (plus friends). His mother wasnt happy about it but tbh she wouldnt have been happy no matter what we did and it was her interference that was instrumental in us choosing to elope in the first place! Everyone else was fine about it.

It was great, totally romantic and personal and we both really felt like we had the best wedding day that we would have wanted. We often reminisce about it and say that it was the best day of our lives. We both would have hated a traditional Irish wedding.

guile4582

MrWalsh wrote: »

Yeah I did it, we ran off and did it and phoned home afterwards.

We did have a party when we got home but it wasnt a "formal" affair, and it was just finger food and booze, no speeches, no white dress.

My parents werent alive so it was really only his parents we had to tell (plus friends). His mother wasnt happy about it but tbh she wouldnt have been happy no matter what we did and it was her interference that was instrumental in us choosing to elope in the first place! Everyone else was fine about it.

It was great, totally romantic and personal and we both really felt like we had the best wedding day that we would have wanted. We often reminisce about it and say that it was the best day of our lives. We both would have hated a traditional Irish wedding.

did you go abroad? is it messy getting all the marriage legal mumbo jumbo done in a different country?
any companies out there that can assist from here?

MrWalsh

guile4582 wrote: »

did you go abroad? is it messy getting all the marriage legal mumbo jumbo done in a different country?
any companies out there that can assist from here?

Yeah we did a lot of research before we went.

Basically you need somewhere with easy going rules on getting married. Somewhere that does not have a residency requirement or that has a very short residency requirement (like a day). Also somewhere that doesnt need blood tests. And no notice requirements etc... There are plenty of easy places but we wanted to tie in a honeymoon in a place we wanted also.

South Africa ticked all the boxes for us. Trailfinders more or less booked it all and they put us in touch with the minister before we went so we had some emails and 1 Skype call with him, then he met us the day we arrived and we did some legal stuff, signed some paperwork and had a chat with him - which he cleverly incorporated bits of into the ceremony (like, we are here to join these two people who first met in 1991 etc....). We also had contact with a hotel person who organised details like logistics, dinner menu, special requests (did we want separate rooms the night before, did we want to arrive to the ceremony separately etc..), they also provided witnesses, photographer, driver, private game drive etc...

They threw in loads of stuff we never specified, the bed was covered in rose petals for us, a bath drawn, candles lit etc...

Actually it was Trailfinders UK who organised it but through the Irish office.

guile4582

nice one thanks!