My thoughts when I hear of others suffering

To Need a Woman

It might sound like a selfish thought, but often when hear of someone who's had a setback or accident in their life, I often think, "thank God that didn't happen to me, aren't I so lucky". It works really well for me to think like this as opposed to thinking; "gee that must be so hard on the poor fellow", which would have been my attitude before.

It's not that my heart doesn't go out to them... it's just a way of tricking myself into thinking that I don't have a hard life, when I actually do. Therefore it'is a way of motivating myself and looking at the bright side of life. Maybe if I did have a perfect life, I wouldn't think like this, but I guess there's just so many bad things happening out there, that it's not really a big deal when you hear of it!

The One Doctor

A lot of people think that way, they just don't tell anyone. And as to whether you have a hard life... well, it's all relative.

Alice1

I wouldn't see anything wrong with that OP. You are grateful for your good luck and you appreciate your own life more.

Mr. Incognito

Judging by your user name I bet all the chicks dig your lack of empathy

seamus

That's the very basis of sympathy; putting yourself in the other person's shoes and imagining the pain it caused them.

When you realise just how difficult it must be, then of course it's natural that you would breathe a sigh of relief internally that it's not happening to you; it's like waking up from a bad dream.

It doesn't mean you're a horrible sociopath, it means exactly the opposite.

I find it gets worse as you get older. As a teenager and a young twentysomething I couldn't really give much of a crap about other people. Human interest stories gradually began to affect me more as my worldview became less self-centered through my 20s. It's pretty normal.

Of course then I became a parent and now I'm an emotional wimp, but that's something different.

Menas

But OP, what do you think when you see someone having some good fortune? "Fecker, I hope they break a leg"?

Birroc

Trigger Happy wrote: »

But OP, what do you think when you see someone having some good fortune? "Fecker, I hope they break a leg"?

Like John Joe Nevin, Olympic silver medalist?

keith16

seamus wrote: »

an emotional wimp

I really enjoyed their second album.

Femme_Fatale

It's totally reasonable to be thankful for what you have and to bear in mind things could be an awful lot worse if something is getting you down. It doesn't tend to work when someone's depressed, and it's not useful for a person who's had an horrific experience, but for run-of-the-mill stuff bothering you, having a bit of perspective is only a good thing IMO.

Adamantium

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1xxqPE4I4g

donegal__road

to die peacefully in your sleep OP, thats the best we can hope for..

a few weeks later, there wouldn't be a word about you.

*just to put it in perspective, I had a friend that died unexpectedly a month ago. For 1 week he was on life support and everyone on Facebook were posting stuff like 'go on, you can fight this' and 'we're all rooting for you man' etc etc. Those same people have started to post trivial stuff on FB again. Just think, how soon after you pass away do you think people will stop giving a damn?











.

Graces7

my knee jerk reaction is to find a way to help. always is one.
from my good fortune to their need.

never forgotten a day years ago when i was trading near a car park. suddenly heard terrible screams from a parked car.

all were walkingpast, ran over; poor lady had just had a call on her mobile telling her her brother had been killed in a motor bike accident. she was on her own and fell apart.

was able to get a call to her husband to come, keep her warm etc

so many times we can help; even a card in the post

Knowing there is always someone worse off that you is a great way to cope when things in your life get fcuked right up.

That's not to say you won't feel absolute and utter pain in your life and some point in time, and that's not to say you should not allow yourself to grieve/wallow for a while, but when it's time to get on with life - it's a good mechanism for moving on. To try to focus on what you have that others don't, and to know that someone else has been through what you be been through many times before, and to know that some would wish they had only been through what you had been through.

It's helped me get through a lot, knowing someone has been through worse.
Doesn't make you a bad person OP, makes you human.

ash23

I would also tend to try on look on myself as fortunate, even when bad things happen. And I'm sure some people use things that happened to me to make them feel better about their lot in life.

An old saying my Granny had was "if everyone threw their problems into a heap, you wouldn't be long grabbing your own back". It's very true. I know my problems and how I've handled them so I would be afraid to try and cope with anyone elses.

Legs.Eleven

I'd say most people can relate to what you've written, OP. As others have said, reminding myself how fortunate I am compared to others is what keeps me going. Perspective is absolutely essential to keep your head above the water and that's all you're outlining in your OP.

donegal__road

donegal__road wrote: »

just to put it in perspective, I had a friend that died unexpectedly a month ago. For 1 week he was on life support and everyone on Facebook were posting stuff like 'go on, you can fight this' and 'we're all rooting for you man' etc etc. Those same people have started to post trivial stuff on FB again. Just think, how soon after you pass away do you think people will stop giving a damn?

The people who matter never stop giving a damn.

I'm sorry for your loss D_R

To Need a Woman

donegal__road wrote: »

to die peacefully in your sleep OP, thats the best we can hope for..

a few weeks later, there wouldn't be a word about you.

*just to put it in perspective, I had a friend that died unexpectedly a month ago. For 1 week he was on life support and everyone on Facebook were posting stuff like 'go on, you can fight this' and 'we're all rooting for you man' etc etc. Those same people have started to post trivial stuff on FB again. Just think, how soon after you pass away do you think people will stop giving a damn?

Your family will always remember you. And surely some friends. I know some friends of mine that had an effect on me and I often think of them... whether it be something like "what would he do in this situation", or something he/she said. The most important thing is that I won't be passing away for starters.... if anything, my friends will. I do my best to remember them.

Your comment does not relate to my thread. Now, it's time for you to get back on FB posting more trivia

donegal__road

To Need a Woman wrote: »

That's the thing, I won't be passing away for starters.... if anything they will. I do my best to remember them. Now, it's time for you to get back on FB posting more trivia

tell us your secret, mankind has been chasing the holy grail of immortality for centuries now.

To Need a Woman

To Need a Woman wrote: »

Now, it's time for you to get back on FB posting more trivia

No need to be nasty OP, if you don't want to play nice, don't play at all.

.jacksparrow.

Its like when a parent pans their proud of their kids.

Its basically saying I am great because I brought them into this world.

Nothing wrong with it.