Anger giveaways

LegacyUser

A couple of years ago I was told that my manner was quite aggressive. Not in a physical way but that my body language, tone and expression was very intimidating. TBH I was quite shocked and tried very hard to get that in check. I am now being told that people can tell when Im getting angry. Apparently my face flushes and theres something about my expressions.

So far I have failed to find ways to stop the instant flashes of mental anger that I sometimes feel..but I honestly thought the physical manifestations were under control.

Obviously I need to deal with the mental stuff as well. Any suggestions most welcome.

Tokyo

Hi OP,

I'm glad to see that you recognise your anger issues and want to do somethign about it, however I think that your focus should be more on dealing with the anger issues themselves, rather than just trying to learn how to mask the physical manifestations of it.

Have you considered seeing a counsellor about this? If it's at the point where people are commenting on it, then I think it might be good idea to seek some professional advice over this to be honest....

thegreatgonzo

I agree with Mike there about getting professional advice about it.
My friend and I were talking recently about a couple of girls that were in our class and both became infamous over the 3 years for their aggressive outbursts. They alienated themselves from the rest of the class and made enemies of the lecturers. They are also well on the road to blacklisting themselves from future employment, one already got herself fired for her attitude. Do yourself a favour and get to the root of the problem.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies guys. I knew myself I need to speak with somebody and it is something I did about 18months ago. TBH it was a pretty scary experience. The counsellor was excellent..asked me questions about stuff Iv buried very deep down inside. What scares me about counselling is that it is like someone messing with the lid of a pressure cooker when on full boil....I'm actually afraid of what will come out.

Tokyo

squarner wrote: »

What scares me about counselling is that it is like someone messing with the lid of a pressure cooker when on full boil....I'm actually afraid of what will come out.

Think of the counsellor as the safety valve then. Better for your issues to come to the surface in the presence of a counsellor and be dealt with, than on some unwitting friend or family member.

thegreatgonzo

Fair play to you for confronting it. Try not to worry about the counselling, they are trained professionals after all and have seen it all before.

P. Breathnach

But the problem you brought here is that whatever it is does come out, and it is causing you some difficulties.

People are different, and problems are different. Yes, it is possible that you might have to face up to something big, and dealing with it might be very painful. But most therapeutic resolutions are not that dramatic, and you might be able to identify and cope with the root of your problem in a fairly quiet way. And even if it does prove to be a demanding exercise, it will probably be worth the struggle.