What is the point.

LegacyUser

I have been unemployed for almost a year.
Never had a job, so can't get anything due to lack of experience.
Turned down from even JobBridges I thought looked interesting.
Can see no future for myself in Ireland, don't want to leave my family but couldn't afford to anyway.
In a horrible relationship, mentally exhausted from constant fighting, abuse and belittling I receive.
No friends anymore, lost them all trying to please girlfriend.
Numerous health problems stacking up, can't afford to go the doctor, would rather bury my head in the sand anyway than know whats wrong.
Overweight, no motivation to do anything but play the Xbox.
Drinking all the time, from the moment I wake up to just before I get into bed.

So I ask.. What is the point? What am I ****ing existing for anymore? I'm only 22. I can imagine myself at 30 and Ill either be the local drunk or the creepy janitor in Tesco. (with no disrespect meant to janitors, it'll be a ****ing miracle if I even score that job)

December2012

There are some things you can do to change your current situation.

Firstly get out of that horrible relationship.

If you've been unemployed you may qualify for a medical card or a GP visit card. You can apply. In the meantime save a few euros a week, even €5, and in 10 weeks time you'll have enough money to go see a GP.

Have you spoken to your Local Employment Office? They help people like you with job seeking skills.

Go for a walk every day, or even a run if you can. That will help with your weight and your mental health.

That's four ways you can take back control of your life.

The rest will come.

Merkin

Not being funny honey but you don't have a hope in hell of sorting your life out until you get sober. Drinking from morning until night is not conducive to happiness, stability or success so knocking the drink on the head should be your absolute priority in the first instance.

Deco99

The benefits of getting out and getting fitter are seriously underestimated by those who feel down and stressed. Focus on you, you dont sound like you control much in your life but you can control your excercise regime. Put a plan down on paper and stick to it. After a while I'll bet the problems start dropping off bit by bit. Firstly itll cut out the xbox and drink, later it may help build confidence for those other tasks you need to undertake.

tomwaterford

get rid of the girlfriend

then get in touch with your friends...you'll be surprised by how much they'll forgive!!

and cut out the drink (and any drug taking) as alcohol is a massive depressant...go for a bit of exercise everyday no matter how hard it is....force yourself to do it

go into your LES....get them to do a proper CV (that's what I did...some difference when its done right)
jobs are hard to come by...get onto as many courses doing what interests you ASAP...a few years will slip by in no length if your not careful

I was in same position as you not so long ago...got job and save enough to emigrate first thing when I started back...promised myself id never get stuck in that rut again...it can be done!!!
best of luck

trancemuzic

Keep your chin up mate and don't give up
You may not think it now but things will get better

I think someone said it already but get your ass down the gym and lift some weights and do some cardio

You will be amazed what seeing a bit of muscle appearing can do for your confidence and general well being

Please don't even consider giving up , fight for yourself and your family and get through this.

beano345

Cut out the drink for a start op I was similar with it and knocked it on the head,your thinking will clear up for a start,things will fall into place and you'll actually start sorting things out instead of putting it on the long finger.its a very easy hole to fall into,life won't all be a bed of roses off it but you'll be in a far better position to sort out the rest of your life.

MadMardegan

I don't mean to sound harsh but nothing will change unless you make the effort to change it. You can't just expect a miracle to come along, you have to make things happen.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results"

Most of your problems are things that you can change straight away.
Get out of that relationship, as soon as possible. Nobody deserves that. Stop drinking (an occasional drink is fine but everyday is certainly not. Don't forget drink is a depressant). Start going for walks (you'll be amazed how much difference a 30 minute walk daily can make to your mood. Not getting sunlight can be a huge factor for feeling like you do). Start eating better, your diet (along with other factors) affects hormone levels in your body and that can make you feel depressed too.
I've been like you many times, I've lay in bed till the evening asking what's the point, and it's tough as hell when you're in that mindset. You can't motivate yourself to do anything. I know. I've gone weeks, literally, without seeing daylight. It's not easy.
But trust me, once you decide to yourself "today is the day I do something productive" it gets easier after that. Once you start and you start to see results (happier mood, losing weight, ganging muscle, achieving goals, whatever!) you'll kick yourself for not starting sooner!
Have you any interest in Martial Arts, or any sports in general? Joining a club would be great for you. Exercise, goal orientated, meet new people, learn something new.
I also think it'd be good for you to try and reconnect with your old friends. If they were good friends hopefully they'll understand your situation and help you through.

Now onto the job, unfortunately that's not something you can control but a good CV can do wonders. Start handing out CV's everywhere. Again, you won't just be handed a job unless you go out looking. I don't believe for a second that you're unemployable.

You're just in a rut, we all go through it at some point or another. Also you're young, think of all the things there is to enjoy in life! Don't let yourself think "what is the point", change comes from within. Be positive.

Best of luck OP.

Feel free to message me if you want to chat some more.

LegacyUser

You have absolutely everything to keep going for. You're young and have a lot to look forward to
May not be what you want to hear but people here are right - you need to try as best you can to cut out the drink. It makes the best of us feel down, so I can only imagine how awful it must be for you.
Try and find joy in your life (bit Dr Phil esque I know!) but seriously, do the little things that you enjoy: taking a walk, listening to music, whatever floats your boat.
Be kind to yourself too, if you don't no one else will.
In terms of the relationship - sounds like you are the type who is a people pleaser (like myself) and I have found myself in relationships that I wasn't happy with but just stayed in them for fear of being alone - trust me on this one, if you find the courage to end the relationship it won't actually be as bad as you think it will be! You will be relieved! I read a good book that helped me a lot called 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. If you would be embarrassed reading something like this then maybe read it in the library maybe?

Try and see how good life could actually be for you. You have the choice to change things.

- Jesus steps off my soap box - now if I could only take some of my own advice. :-)

Take care x

Tokyo

MadMardegan - it is very much against forum policy in PI/RI to request private messages from the OP. Please take a read of the forum charter if you are unsure of our posting policies here.

Regards,
Mike

MadMardegan

mike_ie wrote: »

MadMardegan - it is very much against forum policy in PI/RI to request private messages from the OP. Please take a read of the forum charter if you are unsure of our posting policies here.

Regards,
Mike

Sorry, wasn't aware of that. Wasn't asking him to message, only to feel free to do so if he wanted a more in depth conversation with someone who's been in his shoes.

Won't happen again

Pawwed Rig

First of all you sound like you are in an abusive relationship. There are very few resources available for guys who are being abused by the lady in their life but you might try AMEN at 046 9023718 (http://www.amen.ie/) who may be able to give you some guidance/help. Emotional abuse is as bad if not worse than physical abuse and is nothing for you to be embarrassed/ashamed about.

Is there any scope for you to go back to college? Once you are unemployed a certain lenght of time you can retain your benefits while doiung a fulltime course.

As another poster said you may be entitled to a medical card so look into this and discuss the issues with your GP to discuss your low mood and other general health.

Deco99

Just had a quick re read of the opening post, are we sure the relationship is something that needs to go?

He's sitting on his ar$e all day long, drinking and playing xbox, not getting out and about. Is his girlfriend possibly someone who cares very much for him and doesnt want to see him waste his and her time. Maybe she's not good at getting through to him and her frustration and desperation is coming across as abusive?

December2012

Deco99 wrote: »

Just had a quick re read of the opening post, are we sure the relationship is something that needs to go?

He's sitting on his ar$e all day long, drinking and playing xbox, not getting out and about. Is his girlfriend possibly someone who cares very much for him and doesnt want to see him waste his and her time. Maybe she's not good at getting through to him and her frustration and desperation is coming across as abusive?

It's possible, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Pawwed Rig

Deco99 wrote: »

Just had a quick re read of the opening post, are we sure the relationship is something that needs to go?



He's sitting on his ar$e all day long, drinking and playing xbox, not getting out and about. Is his girlfriend possibly someone who cares very much for him and doesnt want to see him waste his and her time. Maybe she's not good at getting through to him and her frustration and desperation is coming across as abusive?

We can only base responses on what the OP discloses but this is telling

WestHamCork88 wrote: »

constant fighting, abuse and belittling I receive.
No friends anymore, lost them all trying to please girlfriend.

From any domestic violence advice you will get these are classic signs of emotional abuse. The isolation from friends is a huge red flag.

Spunge

Stop drinking, start exercising. Even if just going for long walks. Sounds like a difficult situation you are in though, i hope it improves, but you really must do something, the drinking sounds like a serious issue.