Passed driving test 6 months ago - still nervous

traveller80

I passed my test first time 6 months ago. I thought i'd be an old hand at it by now, but I still get nervous before I have to drive. Usually once I get going I settle down, but I hate feeling this way. It makes me only drive when I need to, such as going to work or to get groceries. I also avoid driving new places where I won't know my turns etc..

One of main reasons for hating it is that I constantly worry about annoying other drivers or that if I make a mistake, I'll look like an idiot. On the rare rare times that there is very little traffic, I actually quite enjoy it. But I live in a big city and that is extremely rare.

I haven't made too many mistakes apart from one really bad one, where I thought I had room to turn but I had misjudged the speed of an oncoming car and really should of waited. Since that I have become more cautious, maybe too cautious. I had to cross an uncontrolled intersection across two lanes of traffic going in both directions, and I sat there for longer than needed, cos I was waiting for a large enough gap. But I know I should have gone sooner, as I saw another car do it.

Will these nerves ever go away? Is there anything I can do to make them go away? Everyone else always says how driving is fun, so what is wrong with me?

fleet

Do you drive often?

Practice makes perfect etc.

What do you drive?

If it's old, unreliable, or simply underpowered then you may well have good reason to wait a "too long" at crossroads etc.



I mostly ride a motorcycle, so I trust it to accelerate fast. I also ride every day, so I know the routes, and how my bike performs on them.

lollsangel

When I was first driving I skidded into a wall bcos of black ice. I was ok until I startd thinking of what could have happened, it took me 18 months to get behind the wheel again and at that I didnt get past 50, was over cautious. With time my confidence started to grow again, its takes time and practise to get confidence but remember op youve passed your test, has to mean something eh?

another question

I passed my driving test back in September and I was a late starter at 24 and I was incredibly nervous. Even for a couple of weeks after I passed I was like you, I only got into the car when I needed to. The only way to stop the nerves is to get out there as often as you can in all conditions.

My driving instructor gave me one piece of advice that has stuck with me and that was that after you pass your test you have the an equal right to the road as every other user on it. No driver has any more or less of a right to the road than you so don't be worrying about what other people think.

But one thing I would say is absolutely go places where you haven't been before it is the only way you will learn and make sure to go on your own. The amount of laughs I had in the month or two after I passed telling people the little issues I'd have was all part of it. Only last week I got caught it major gridlock in my town where three garda cars were trying to move traffic. The gridlock was all uphill on a very steep hill, bumper to bumper, I used to always panic when I had to do a hill-start, I used to avoid every set of traffic lights in town that were on any kind of hill but last week I had to do about 20 hill-starts throughout that traffic jam and get out of a line of traffic on a steep hill and move into another as directed to by a garda. I really felt like telling her that I was a new driver and I wouldn't be able to do what she asked but then I realised that would sound incredibly stupid and then I just got on with it.

As for worrying about not going too quickly at intersections just ignore who is behind you, let them wait, if they are in a panic they should have left earlier. It's your car and your judgement, do what is right for you.

p.s out of those 20 or so hill-starts I did in gridlock last week, I conked out at least 3 times and had to slam on the brakes to stop rolling back and then re-start the engine and I wasn't the only one. These things happen, don't beat yourself up every time you make a mistake instead give yourself a pat on the back every time you deal with an awkward situation or venture into something new. Like, in the UK I think the have N (novice) plates on their cars for the 2 years after passing a test. Driving is a continuous learning experience, just because you pass your test doesn't make anyone a driving expert. If drivers just respected each other a bit more everyone would feel a lot more comfortable.

Even yesterday I was coming back in the dual-carriageway and I was doing 100km/h in the normal lane as were about 3 cars on-front of me. A black vauxhall vectra with blacked out windows and NI plates literally flew past me and all 3 cars in front at hugh speed, my car actually shook from the force he created while passing, he had to be doing at least 140/150. If for any reason he had to brake instantly he would have caused unbelievably damage to himself and anyone near him as he would have had zero control of his car. You see this behaviour everyday.

ProudDUB

I moved back here from the States 3 years ago. I was incredibly nervous about driving on Irish roads for the first time. I heard all kinds of horror stories and the reality was far, far worse than I was led to believe. Like you, I was qualified to drive (I had my US license) but I just didn't feel confident enough driving, to actually to enjoy it.

What got me over my nerves, was going for an hours drive every single day, for a month. I had no particular destination in mind. I'd just drive. If I came to a big intersection with loads of lanes and I was nervous about turning, I wouldn't turn, I'd just keep on going. Then, when I came to another intersection that I felt comfortable at, I'd do my turn and then just take off down the new road. I'd drive on that road for a while. When I found another turn in my comfort zone, I'd take that one on. I'd apply the same approach to roundabouts and busy main roads & roads with bus/cycle lanes and what not.

Not having any particular destination in mind, removed all the mental anxiety of having to figure out where I was going. I was then able to concentrate 100% on my driving. Practice does make perfect. It didn't take long for me to become so relaxed about doing the simple stuff, that I was able to work my way up to the more challenging things. After a while, they didn't seem all that challenging either & I was nice and relaxed for pretty much everything. Being able to do it all, at my own time and at my own pace really, really helped my confidence.

Get a good local road map or a sat nav, if you are worried about wandering too far from home & getting lost. When you feel up to it, try and find your way from A to B by yourself. Getting lost can be fun. That is how you will build up your sense of direction. You will also learn the actual road system around you much better. It's amazing how you always seem to find the the best shortcuts/views/restaurants/pubs by getting lost. Embrace it when it happens. It is not the end of the world. If you are going somewhere new, set out a bit earlier, in case you wind up a bit off the beaten track. If you get lost, find somewhere safe to turn around, or pull in and ask for directions. Giving yourself some additional wiggle room to get places, will really reduce your stress levels when driving.

Don't feel bad about making mistakes. We all make them. That how we learn to become good drivers. There is a lot more to it, than being handed your Pass Certificate after your test. If a dodgy turn is the worst mistake you have ever make in your first year of driving, I'd wager that is a lot better than most people on here. There are a lot of idiots out there and impatient twits who will honk at the slightest thing. Ignore them. If they aren't honking at you, they will be honking at someone else. You can't control their stupidity. You can control how badly you let it affect you.

jd83

Havent passed my test yet, have it next month but thought id share my thoughts anyway.

I bought a gps and stuck it in my car. Like the other poster I drive every day with no particular destination in mind. When I eventually get lost and want to go home ( around 2 minutes after leaving house.) I just turn on the gps and it guides me home. Since I got it, I feel a lot less nervous and can concentrate on my driving and not worrying about going down a wrong street.


It also helps with telling me what lane to be in etc.

miss no stars

The more you drive the more eejits you see. Believe me, if the worst you do is take off slowly or take a wrong turn and have to stop and turn around/ask for directions you're doing well.

OP, where did you learn to drive and where would you like to drive? Are they the same general areas? I see from your previous posts (I was actually trying to figure out if you were in Dublin or down the country) that you're abroad. I don't know what the situation with driving on motorways is there but if it's like here they're a no-go as a learner. I waited a good long time after passing my test before going on motorways (particularly the M50) because I wanted more experience driving on my own without the backup of a second pair of eyes to look out for hazards - especially when doing 100-120kph on an extremely busy motorway. I had a relative killed due to driver inexperience on the M50 so I probably know more than most the danger of just not noticing something happening in the periphery of your mirrors when you're at such high speeds - I wanted to be damned sure I wouldn't make a mistake like that driver made. You taking your time at junctions is no different - it's actually prudent. Only pull out when you're comfortable that you have enough time and space to do so. If the other drivers behind you get impatient well then let them be impatient - they won't be the ones getting crashed into if you pull out without enough space!

It might do you no harm to have a few more lessons with a good instructor in situations you wouldn't normally be in as a learner. Like here learners can't go on motorways and if newly qualified drivers are nervous about motorways, having a driving instructor present the first few times they go on one wouldn't do any harm. It might help build your confidence to do some practice with someone there who can give you feedback and help you continually improve? If your biggest fear is going places you're new to, maybe have a driving instructor bring you on a route and then stop, hand you a map and let you navigate back.

traveller80

fleet wrote: »

Do you drive often?

Practice makes perfect etc.

What do you drive?

I drive to and from work 5 days a week. I have a Yaris, so not the most powerful car, but I wanted something small (easy to park) so it's good for me

I moved back here from the States 3 years ago. I was incredibly nervous about driving on Irish roads for the first time. I heard all kinds of horror stories and the reality was far, far worse than I was led to believe.

I am in Canada actually.I always figured if I ever go back home, it would be easier? - less traffic, less highway (which I only went on once and never again as I'm too afraid to lol) and more single lanes. I hate that most roads are multi lanes over here, so I am literally surrounded by traffic most of the time.
Drivers are aggressive too - not in the road rage sense (although there is some of that like everywhere I suppose) but more like if they need to get in a lane to turn, then they will force themselves in if needed, whereas I always try to wait for a bigger opening. I don't like to cut people off. That's why I also like to know my turns, so that I have plenty time to change lanes if needed.

What got me over my nerves, was going for an hours drive every single day, for a month. I had no particular destination in mind. I'd just drive.

This is a really good idea actually. I already drive 5 days a week to work but I could do this on the weekend. I will probably have to force myself lol, but I will try.

But one thing I would say is absolutely go places where you haven't been before it is the only way you will learn and make sure to go on your own.

haha yes definitely on my own. I really hate having passengers, I feel like I'm being judged with them next to me and it's a lot easier to just concentrate on my driving without having to carry on a conversation. I'm also a late starter to driving myself, in my early 30s
I partly put my nerves down to starting so late, I wish I had done it so much sooner.

traveller80

miss no stars wrote: »

OP, where did you learn to drive and where would you like to drive? Are they the same general areas? I see from your previous posts (I was actually trying to figure out if you were in Dublin or down the country) that you're abroad. I don't know what the situation with driving on motorways is there but if it's like here they're a no-go as a learner.

Thanks, I live in Canada now, and learned over here. I was able to do without a car in Ireland so never bothered to learn, but here it is almost necessary if I'm going to be here for a while.
Over here, you start on an L and cannot drive alone. After you pass your test you get an N for two years which has some restrictions, but you can drive alone. I'm currently on my N. I am allowed on the highway, but my first time (with an instructor) was scary lol - there was huge trucks at speed passing by and I had to merge. I was thinking of taking one lesson just to practice merging on and off. I'd be able to drive to a lot more places if I was comfortable on the highway, but no rush I suppose.