You know your a sheep farmer when ........

ganmo

Lamb in the oven means something totally different this time of year

Green farmer

I tiptoed around the house and robbed my kids hot water bottle at 7.00 this morning, to no avail unfortunately

Green farmer

You know your a sheep farmer when it's 11.00 on a Saturday night and while all sane and reasonable people are either in a pub enjoying a pint or at home in front of the fire, your standing around in a cold shed, tired and waiting patiently for an animal to scratch the ground in an unusual manner.

ganmo

Its Saturday?

J.O. Farmer

ganmo wrote: »

Its Saturday?

Sorry it's Sunday and in a half hour we're going to lose an hour of it.

Green farmer

J.O. Farmer wrote: »

Sorry it's Sunday and in a half hour we're going to lose an hour of it.

That's even worse, I don't even know what day of week it is anymore.just after pulling a set of twins.needed bailing twine and all. If you know what im talking about ..... Then your in the right place

yog1

paddysdream wrote: »

The local knackery employee has your name ,address and herd number written on the docket before you even turn off the jeep in his yard.

You don't need oilskins as the grease on your jeans keeps you dry.

You gather up the kids with a few whistle's and a shout of "come by"

You mumble the dogs name in your sleep instead of that of your dearly beloved wife(make sure and give the dog's proper doggie names like mossy or shep and not mary or susan to avoid any misunderstandings!)

You decide that 4am is as good a time as any to tail a few lambs.

You wonder how many lambs the lawn would carry when herself starts pointing out that all the neighbour's have the lawn's cut twice and its still March.

You have 6 cans of marking spray,2 bottles of penstrep,one baytril,500 rubber rings,a box of latex gloves and 3 bottles of lube in the jeep and nobody thinks any less of you.

You wake up at night when you hear an unusual baa from the field.Hard to explain but sheep do sound different when something happens that is out of the ordinary.

You wonder if the shears would do a handy job on the gruaig instead of handing the barber a few quid.(the answer is NO!)

You go to the pub just to see what you missed in the mart that day.

When single, you judge women by whether she is correct in the mouth and udder and what she would be like after 5 crops and a hard winter on bad silage.

From January till April you look like a chain smoker from iodine overspray

when the girlfriend say "You think more of that dog than you do of me"

top tip; don't answer with " aye that oul dog is useful around here" for some reason they seem to thing your implying that they aren't useful,
or when they bring it up again about how you think more of the dog, definitely do NOT tell them " ah don't be jealous, come over here pet and i'll rub your belly" They don't like that at all:o

derferjam

when you go to bed and you can still hear lambs balling in your head

derferjam

When you go to bed and you still hear lambs balling in your head

Green farmer

Not so funny one, I have a friend who told me that all sheep farmers end up with bad backs ? Any truth in it ? My own back tells me there might be a bit of truth in it .

Conmaicne Mara

Green farmer wrote: »

Not so funny one, I have a friend who told me that all sheep farmers end up with bad backs ? Any truth in it ? My own back tells me there might be a bit of truth in it .

Hips and knees should go first

rancher

Conmaicne Mara wrote: »

Hips and knees should go first

Knees in particular, that the height they hit

moy83

Green farmer wrote: »

Not so funny one, I have a friend who told me that all sheep farmers end up with bad backs ? Any truth in it ? My own back tells me there might be a bit of truth in it .

I dont know about all but I think its an occupational hazard alright . A mate of mine was walking like John Wayne there a couple of months ago , his two knees are bending out . He was booked in for an op twice but put it off because be was too busy ! Maybe now when the lambing is over he might chance taking a bit of time off he said . Madness .

The chiropractor I go to said he sees more sheep farmers than cattle farmers aswell . He reckons they are more likely to go manhandling a ewe or ram and knock a twist out of the back that the cattle man that just cant knock and drag a bullock to where he wants him

Green farmer

moy83 wrote: »

The chiropractor I go to said he sees more sheep farmers than cattle farmers aswell . He reckons they are more likely to go manhandling a ewe or ram and knock a twist out of the back that the cattle man that just cant knock and drag a bullock to where he wants him

100% I'd believe it. How many times would you be in a pen in the shed at this time of year, trying to isolate one with a lamb sticking out the back of her and get a jolt in your back as you grab her when she's running by you .

arctictree

... you get a slap for suggesting the sister in law should be culled for not being able to breastfeed!

foxylock

The wife and kids are numbered with marking spray

arctictree

foxylock wrote: »

The wife and kids are numbered with marking spray

Probably easier to tag them....