Worries over STI Test Results

LegacyUser

Hi,

I went for an STI test on Friday. The reason for going was really just for peace of mind, as I'm an anxious person and worry quite a lot. I've never had a test before, but have had one-night stand unprotected sex in the past (the last time that occurred was late 2012)

*I should add at this point that I am far from a lothario and have never been a guy who sleeps around or has hundreds of notches on his bedpost, my sexual history can be literally counted on one hand (there's a pun in there somewhere, I'm sure!)

I've been with my girlfriend for three months now and she mentioned a while ago that she had been tested before and everything came back grand. This planted a seed of doubt in my mind regarding my own health and lack of test, which resulted in weeks of me trying to get the bottle up to go for a test.

I went on Friday morning, however I didn't tell her or anyone that I was going for a test. She is also a worrier and I did not see the point in unnecessarily worrying her if the test comes back as normal, however I obviously fully intend to inform her if there is any issues at all with the test. The fact that I haven't said anything has left me feeling really guilty and miserable since Friday. I'm beginning to think that I made a mistake by not telling her and this has now added to my worries.

The results can take up to 10 working days. I've had no symptoms of anything and the one piece of advice that the doctor gave me was "don't Google anything because you'll have yourself freaked out." But, what does yours truly decide to do? Google STIs! I'm now climbing the walls, paranoid every time I use the bathroom and debating if A,B or C is a symptom.

My reason for posting is that I'm very freaked out at the moment and genuinely have nobody to talk to, unless I have a chat with my girlfriend which I was trying to avoid as I mentioned. I've not cheated on her or anything like that, my reason for going was genuinely that despite my limited sexual history, I still had history and needed to be sure that I was not carrying or passing on anything to her that I was unaware of. We've not slept together since I took the test and I don't plan to until I get the results.

Any advice or if anyone has past experiences from playing the "STI Test Results Waiting Game" would be much appreciated. Also many thanks to anyone who posted in the STI sticky thread as there was some great advice and helpful information on that.

Thanks.

Tokyo

OP, from the sounds of your post, you haven't had a multitude of partners and haven't engaged in any risky behaviour, and therefore don't have any particular reason to be as worrying the way you are. On the contrary, you are being proactive in getting checked so as to protect yourself and your partner - if only more people would do the same.

Your doctor gave good advice - stop googling STI's, as you'll only find some way of convincing yourself that you have every single one of them. All you can do really is go about your usual routine, and wait for the results to come in. And there's nothing on your post to give the impression that those results will be anything but good.

bp

Everyone should get STI tests done between partners - it is the smart and safe thing to do so fair play.

Why not tell your gf - she obviously got one done so you are looking out for both of your health.

Just relax, there isn't anything you can do! Just use condoms until you both get the all clear.

Also tell her when you get the results either way - it will give you both peace of mind!

tictac__x

Your probably just worried over nothing it will be fine, also I'm pretty sure if you get the all clear the clinic don't even contact you, that's what mine told me anyway. I never heard anything back so don't be worried if you don't hear!

LegacyUser

Many thanks for getting back to me and helping me out, I appreciate it.

I'm glad I did the test, don't get me wrong. As difficult as it is waiting for the results and my imagination overloading at the moment, I do feel a sense of relief that I've gotten off the fence and done the test. If anyone reading my thread has had similar doubts or concerns then I'd recommend that you have a test done, believe me I know it's easier said than done, but it'll hopefully just put your mind at ease or at worst help to address an underlying issue that was going to have to addressed sooner or later.

I'm still worried and nervous about the unknown at the moment, but even just typing up that thread last night helped me to get quite a lot off my chest so many thanks again for taking the time to respond and help me out.

Merkin

What is it you are actually afraid of? It seems you've worked yourself up into a panic but for what reason? Is there a specific condition you fear? Is it telling your girlfriend should something materialize? Try and address the root cause of your fear and then rationalize it.

If in the highly unlikely event you have contracted something and are asymptomatic then most conditions are very easily cleared up with a course of antibiotics. Really, within a week you could be infection free. Contracting HIV female-to-male is extremely unlikely given the statistics, men are far more likely to get it from homosexual activity and sharing needles so this doesn't sound likely given what you've told us.

Try not to work yourself up into a tizzy. You also said you're not having sex with your girlfriend. Given this sudden abstinence AND the fact you are probably acting weird and preoccupied with her, I would just come clean and tell her you have been for a test as otherwise she will think something strange is afoot and that you're going off her or something.

Seriously, don't worry.

kjl

Worried Guy wrote: »

Hi,

I went for an STI test on Friday. The reason for going was really just for peace of mind, as I'm an anxious person and worry quite a lot. I've never had a test before, but have had one-night stand unprotected sex in the past (the last time that occurred was late 2012)

Here it is right here, I used to worry a lot but I remember a quote from Van Wilder of all people

Worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

You can feel anxious but I wouldn't stress, I can pretty much guarantee 100% that you will be fine. Even if you did have unprotected sex the worst you will have is going to be treatable.

The chances of you having HIV is minimal.

Mr. Loverman

The risk, according to the CDC, of a heterosexual male contracting HIV from a single instance of sex with a HIV+ female is around 0.04%.

To put it another way, if you have unprotected sex with a HIV+ woman one time, you are 99.96% likely to not get HIV.

Sit down, take a deep breath, and let that number swim around your head for a bit.

As you hopefully can see, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favour.

Stop worrying. You don't have HIV.

LegacyUser

Again, thanks everyone for taking the time to respond.

My worries have subsided somewhat. When I sat down and thought of it my main concern is having to talk to my girlfriend about an underlying issue, should one appear. I guess I would feel rather guilty for not getting checked earlier, though better late than never springs to mind.

At the moment I've really done all I can, aside from chatting to her and telling her I've gone for the test, which I've been considering doing quite a lot today.

I'm hoping to get the results by Friday, however the bank holiday may delay them. It's just the waiting game at the moment. As I mentioned though, just putting my problem out there on this has really helped me so again cheers for the response and advice, I do appreciate it.

suzi2

Hi,
I read your post and felt for you straight away. I am a 41 year old female. I was with my childrens dad for 18 years- our relationship finished in 2009 after it emerged that he had been cheating on me, not just with women, but with men also! 3 months after we split he was taken into hospital with double pneumonia. After a truck load of tests, all of which were clear, he was tested for hiv and it came up positive. He was also diagnosed with AIDS the same day. Doctors estimated that he'd had it 20+ years. I had been in a relationship with him for most of that time and had 2 children with him. At the same time he also came up positive for Hep C. Needless to say, when I got the news, I had myself and my kids dead and buried. I obviously had to be tested and the doctors prepared me for the worst.
However, the worst never came! My test results all came back negative and all repeat tests have come back clear. Me and my children were clear! That was 4 years ago and 3 tests later, all came back negative!

Can I just say this.. the chances of you coming up positive after reading your post, is virtually nil. But lets just say God forbid, something did come back positive (which it wont).. Hiv/ Aids is not a death sentence anymore. Far from it! My ex has been told he has the same life expectancy of someone that is negative, providing he looks after himself and takes his meds (2 tablets per day). His doctor verified that fact to me!

Please dont get yourself too worked up. I know what you are going through. But its the people that choose to stay ignorant of their status that should be panicking not yourself, who has taken the brave step in getting their sexual health in check. You have nothing to worry about, and should be patting yourself on the back right now for having the balls to do this. Your partner, despite what you think, will appreciate what you have done. But just to add, if she worries to the extreme, then I would suggest that you dont tell her until your results come back. Then you can tell her that you are all clear, and she will be soooooo delighted that you went and got tested! No point in worrying her now. She wont thank you for it. However, being a woman, expect her to throw it up at you at some point, that you didnt tell her, lol! Its just par for the course. Thats just us women for you, screwed if you do, screwed if you dont!

You will be fine.. guarantee it!

whirlpool

The more common STI's are completely treatable. The less common ones are extremely difficult to catch. HIV being the most obvious one, there's something like a 1 in 2000 chance of catching HIV if you have unprotected sex with somebody who has it.

LegacyUser

Thanks again to everyone who got back to me.

@suzi2 I really appreciate your honesty and sharing your story with me. Your advice helped a lot They waiting is definitely nerve-racking! I was grand for the best part of the day and then thoughts of guilt or "what ifs" creep in, though I try to change my thinking.

My thought process has changed to the "can't do much more" way of thinking. It's really out of my hands and anyone else's, so I just have to be patient and wait.

Telling my girlfriend of any bad news is really weaving in and out of my mind a lot, just thinking of the guilt and embarrassment involved but I can't keep fretting over that until I get the results.

Again, this has been of great help to me and I really appreciate it!