Is he my boyfriend?

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm in my late 20's and have been seeing this guy for about 6 weeks just at weekends. We get on really well. This is a stupid question but when does he become my boyfriend? Any men out there that can shed some light on it? A couple if my friends said for them nothing was ever said it was just a given!

Thanks!

Tokyo

That's a conversation you're going to have to have with him, rather than us, if you want to know the answer. There's no hard and fast cutoff point that say that after x amount of days, he automatically becomes your boyfriend. Have you spoken to him yet about where your relationship is, and where it's going??

Meauldsegosha

Why don't you speak with him about it? Neither your friends or anyone on the internet can tell you what he is thinking.

macplato

Being a couple is about exclusivity and commitment, OP. You can start the conversation with him by asking if he is seeing anybody else in the same way as he is seeing you. If he doesn't and doesn't intend to, you can tick the exclusivity box. Commitment is something that usually comes a bit later than exclusivity. When you find yourself talking about and planning your future together, chances are you are both committed.

Except for my first relationship at 16 (all 3 months of it! ) I've never been asked to be somebody's girlfriend - like in your friends' case, it was always naturally assumed around the time when we found ourselves thinking about our future together.

Brego888

Go with the simple, coy but serious "eh, so..., eh, like.... are we exclusive now.. like going steady, or what's the story?"

Ham Sambo

Why just the weekends?? what happens during the week??

Holsten

You actually have to have a conversation about your relationship and how the both of you see it.

The boyfriend/girlfriend talk.

CaraMay

Are you sleeping with him? If so it's probably best to see if he is sleeping with others.

Lenmeister

counselled entaiza wrote: »

A couple if my friends said for them nothing was ever said it was just a given!

Wrong. Nothing is ever "just a given". You can't assume he's your boyfriend because you've been going out x weeks. You've no idea what he wants or if he's with/dating anyone else. He could be dating other people. You might be someone he just wants to have fun with. And considering you only see him at weekends that could well be what he wants, I'm guessing you meet him for drinks etc.

The only time you are in a relationship is when you both agree to be in one. Don't assume it, or you could assume wrong. You have to bring it up in conversation. Some people assume stuff like this and then get upset when they find out he/she is seeing other people. Next time you talk to him ask him what he wants, you'll get your answer.

The_Conductor

Why does it matter whether you use the 'boyfriend'/'girlfriend' labels- it just a tag- it doesn't really mean anything at all. I'd counsel against broaching this as a topic with the guy- you're liable to come across as needy and possessive- no matter how you try to phrase it. Life is short- don't shoot yourself in the foot trying to put a tag on things- when living those things means far more than any tag can ever infer.