Cheated in college

Ellie2008

A friend helped me write a couple of essays in college that were a big chunk of my degree, in one cases actually writing the majority of the essay. I also called in sick to a couple of exams. I feel sick with guilt, it is many years later but I am disgusted with my younger self I earned a degree I didn't deserve abs have done well on the back of it. I don't know what to do.

Edit: I also may have taken cheat notes into exams memory cloudy.

jellyboy

Hi op

Your trying to change something that nobody has done before or will after you
The past ..

there is nothing you can do ,expect change the energy and thought process about this..

Or take a shortcut ,get a big stick and start taking it with you every where you go and hit yourself with it every time you think of the degree,because inside your going to do the same thing ..

Stop

You did what you done to move forward in your life..
to balance it ,how about volunteering or donating money ,or your degree skills to a charity or organization

Have you thought that if you weren't capable of doing it all yourself that you wouldn't be successful now…

Be kind to you

skooterblue2

I know where you are coming from...... its unfinished business type of stuff.
I know when you go to an interview you get a lump in your throat, when someone asks about your degree and where you studied and you get a nervous pang.

You need to make peace with you. Great advice donating your time to charity.
I believe you could have gotten that degree as you are operating in the current field now.
Don't do your degree again, side step, do a similar degree by night or Open University.
You will still feel entitled to your degree afterwards.

"to thine own self be true" true 400 years ago, true now. said by a man in tights with a silly ruffled collar.

Any other resolution will not make logical sense by confessing to university or the employer, and possibly professional hari kari.
As soon as this is resolved with you, the anxiety should disappear

Tokyo

OP, I'm not a fan of cheating, but I really think that you are making too much of this in your head. We've all cut corners or made mistakes at some stage in our lives - this is no different. And even ig you walked into the college tomorrow, they aren't just going to take your degree back, and you won't magically feel a weight lift from your shoulders.

At the end of the day a degree is just one piece of paper on a long career path, and the fact that you have forged a successful career since says that you are good at your job, regardless of what happened in college. And you need to remind yourself of this. So all you can do is try to be a better person from here on in, and to learn to forgive yourself. If you do feel like giving back, as was mentioned earlier, volunteer your time to a cause, or donate to a charity or a university group.

sadie06

As someone who slogged through their degree whilst managing a young family at the same time, it infuriates me that people can bluff their way along and end up with the same result. It's interesting to me that you feel guilt about it, as I always presumed exam/essay cheats never look back and see it all as a game.

Your OP comes across as confessional, an unburdening, and I agree that to move on you have to make peace with the situation.

Adult literacy volunteering may help. Opening the door for somebody isolated by their literacy issues must feel extremely fulfilling, and the knowledge that you could be sending people on the path to further education may ease your guilt.

http://www.nala.ie/support-us/volunteer-as-a-tutor

Ellie2008

sadie06 wrote: »

As someone who slogged through their degree whilst managing a young family at the same time, it infuriates me that people can bluff their way along and end up with the same result. It's interesting to me that you feel guilt about it, as I always presumed exam/essay cheats never look back and see it all as a game.

^ hits the nail on the head, it's not fair on you that I got away with it. I never saw it as a game it was done out of desperation more than anything else as I left everything until the last minute, that doesn't make it better though.

sadie06

Ellie2008 wrote: »

^ hits the nail on the head, it's not fair on you that I got away with it. I never saw it as a game it was done out of desperation more than anything else as I left everything until the last minute, that doesn't make it better though.

I hope you took more from the other part of my post though! You really don't have to spend your whole life punishing yourself. You have to put it behind you!

Emme

sadie06 wrote: »

As someone who slogged through their degree whilst managing a young family at the same time, it infuriates me that people can bluff their way along and end up with the same result.

Sadie 06, I did a degree while working full time and I feel exactly the same as you. I learnt more about the worst side of human nature during those years than anything we were lectured on. Some of us did our best the honest way but more people than you would think cheated. People got essays written (they laughed at this openly and called it outsourcing :rolleyes:), they plagiarized left right and centre and they used every underhand method possible to try and get information from other people on the course. One guy set up a thinly disguised online identity to do this. Actually, the guy who did the most cheating went on to be the most successful of the class - he is now lecturing on business in some far flung location. Good luck to him.

One girl slept with a programmer to get the code for computer assignments. If you saw the guy in question you'd wonder why she didn't just put her head down and work out the code for herself.

Looking back I think that some of the course directors covertly encouraged this behavior. It was a business course and they seemed to want to bring out the predatory element in people. Nobody made friends with anyone else in the year, relationships were forged purely on the basis of personal gain.

After the course was finished I didn't want anything to do with people for a long time. It left me with a really bad taste in my mouth. I would not encourage anyone to do a degree by night.

OP, if you feel bad about what you did in the past then there's hope for you as a person. You have some integrity left. Sadie06's suggestion to volunteer is a good one.

I would also suggest doing a short course and not cheating on it. This would give you back your confidence in your academic ability.

Taltos

Hi Ellie

it appears that this is similar to an issue you posted on in 2011. As such I feel it is better at this point to suggest you seek professional help as clearly you are not in a position to deal with it yourself. That is not a bad thing, some of us do need assistance now and again to help us step back and accept things we have now no control over.

As such Ellie and I do hope you understand I am going to close this thread as I have severe doubts over our ability to help you and am worried instead that our assistance may have a contrary effect.

All the best
Taltos