A guy I like in my gym

koriko

Theres a guy i keep seeing in my gym and I'm attracted to him. We tend to be in the same ares of the gym at the same time a few days a week. We have never chatted or even acknowledged each other but I feel butterflies when he's around. Its a bit silly, especially as I'm 30 and should know better! Exciting though, Im mad to say hello or initiate a conversation but haven't a clue how to? Any suggestions welcome!

MagicMarker

"Spot me bren!"

Does he seem like he knows what he's doing? If you see him doing an exercise that you don't usually do ask him if he'd show you the correct form or something. Just to initiate a chat, I wouldn't immediately try and get his number or anything, as if he's not interested then it'll make future gym sessions for both of you awkward! But if you initiate something today, then you can say hello next time you see him, small talk and the like, and then you'll get an idea if he's interested over time.

koriko

thank you! good idea! will try that! Poor fella wont know what hit him when i ask how to lift heavy weights! Ill say im thinking of getting into body building........he mainly uses weights but also uses a machine that i dont so i could pretend im interested in it possibly. I usually let the man say hello or make a first move, this is not my style at all. I dont want to look desperate, would not be good for my ego

kiffer

koriko wrote: »

thank you! good idea! will try that! Poor fella wont know what hit him when i ask how to lift heavy weights! Ill say im thinking of getting into body building........he mainly uses weights but also uses a machine that i dont so i could pretend im interested in it possibly. I usually let the man say hello or make a first move, this is not my style at all. I dont want to look desperate, would not be good for my ego

Don't pretend things. Just ask him if he'd like a coffee/drink/icecream after once he's done in the gym.
Trying to engineer a situation in which he can ask you out isn't the best if he's that into the gym. And you're kind of playing the damsel in distress.
Maybe wait until he is done with his work out and then approach him and say 'Hi' and get chatting.
I know this might be tougher but it by far the better option.

Don't forget men are actively discouraged from hitting on women in the gym for good reasons, nab him in the reception area/car park/water cooler. Start with "Hi" today and work up to more later... just not on the gym floor...

Balmed Out

Do you know he's single? also realize a lot of men will remove a wedding ring when lifting weights

Stavro Mueller

kiffer wrote: »

Don't pretend things. Just ask him if he'd like a coffee/drink/icecream after once he's done in the gym.

I agree with the rest of your advice but I think this could backfire on the OP. She doesn't know if the guy is married or is in a relationship..

Getting talking to him about weights or at the watercooler would be a far better place to start.

cymbaline

cymbaline wrote: »

I agree with the rest of your advice but I think this could backfire on the OP. She doesn't know if the guy is married or is in a relationship..

Well in fairness then all he has to do is say "sorry, I'm taken" and no harm done

Stavro Mueller

It depends on how sensitive the OP is. If it was me I'd be utterly mortified and would find it awkward for a while. Each to their own.

MagicMarker

The OP says they're always at the gym at the same time. If she comes straight out and asks him out and he says no for whatever reason, it could make things really awkward for him, he might not be the type of person who would feel comfortable with that. Plus the OP might be a little mortified and will also feel awkward.

There's no harm in testing the waters, using any old excuse to strike up a conversation and see how things go from there. There's no need to rush into it.

kiffer

cymbaline wrote: »

I agree with the rest of your advice but I think this could backfire on the OP. She doesn't know if the guy is married or is in a relationship..

Getting talking to him about weights or at the watercooler would be a far better place to start.

No one ever knows that when they start talking to a stranger. I did go on to say start with saying "Hi" and work your way up.
I don't see how it could back fire. He's no more or less likely to be single if you pretend to be interested in getting him to help you with something than if you just start chatting with him.

jane82

If he is a serious gym goer. Just ask him how he made such great gains in the last month. If I know anything about men in gyms( I am one) they love nothing more than talking about calories and glutes and squats. He will go on for hours and hours until you realise you have already been to get coffee.

Graciefacey

koriko wrote: »

Theres a guy i keep seeing in my gym and I'm attracted to him. We tend to be in the same ares of the gym at the same time a few days a week. We have never chatted or even acknowledged each other but I feel butterflies when he's around. Its a bit silly, especially as I'm 30 and should know better! Exciting though, Im mad to say hello or initiate a conversation but haven't a clue how to? Any suggestions welcome!

Go for it! I am in similar situation cute guy always there when I am we say hello and all that he approached me but unfortunately I'm in a relationship. Was v impressed by him making the move though and things aren't awkward at all

GenieOz

Graciefacey wrote: »

Go for it! I am in similar situation cute guy always there when I am we say hello and all that he approached me but unfortunately I'm in a relationship. Was v impressed by him making the move though and things aren't awkward at all

Anyway....OP definitely approach and try to talk to him anyway, bring up in conversation whereby he has an opportunity to mention if he has a girlfriend or not, some won't mention it in normal conversation as they could think you're just being friendly and mentioning that would be a bit arrogant! If he doesn't then hell, you're free to go for it!

beks101

Ask him for advice on your form at a particular exercise you've seen him doing - boost to the ego for him, he'll love it

I never thought I would (given the sweaty, makeup-less face etc!) but I dated a guy from my gym when I lived abroad before, he was someone I'd see frequently and we'd exchange a smiling nod. He came to the rescue one day when I was struggling to unload the squat rack - which led to a conversation about form - which led to chatting for about an hour - which led to swapping numbers - etc etc

I think it's easier if you build up to it as opposed to outright asking the guy out. Start with eye contact - give a smile or a nod every time you see him - become "familiar" to him - then the small chat and so on and so forth.

Best of luck, go get em!

Graciefacey

GenieOz wrote: »

Anyway....OP definitely approach and try to talk to him anyway, bring up in conversation whereby he has an opportunity to mention if he has a girlfriend or not, some won't mention it in normal conversation as they could think you're just being friendly and mentioning that would be a bit arrogant! If he doesn't then hell, you're free to go for it!

Didn't mean it like that obviously! In a v happy relationship! Is this after hours?

koriko

Thanks for all the replies- lots of advice. I'm the type of person who tends to ignore men, even if I like them. It's horrible but I can't help it, I've always been that way. So basically he would assume I don't like him. I will make an effort to smile or something the next day I see him. We do tend to be in the same place in the gym at the same time quite frequently, although I'm usually doing cardio, not weights. I think he is finished his weights and has showered by then and just uses a simple enough cardio machine. Not sure how to get a conversation or bit of chit chat going tbh. I have sensed he may be hanging around a little as I stay on for nearly two hours and he has well been there that length of time when I get in. Again, maybe I'm imagining this, mind plays tricks when I have butterflies in my tummy seeing him! Ah sure, if it's meant to be it'll be I guess Thanks again everyone!

Fentdog84

Just talk to him in a normal, friendly manner and see what happens.. You'll probably get a vibe pretty quickly as to whether its a runner or not.

tara73

I really understand your shyness! I mean, I'm not shy in general but if I really really like a guy, it's hard to make an approach for me and even sometimes giving the wrong impression by avoiding or ignoring the person as you described.
How about, as a first tactic to test the waters, just give him your nicest smile when passing him and look at him. You will most definately get a feeling if there's a positive reaction/vibe from him.

After that you can decide if it's worth to make a bigger move and talking to him as the others suggested.
He might also approach you after your smiling signals:)

good luck with all

koriko

tara73 wrote: »

I really understand your shyness! I mean, I'm not shy in general but if I really really like a guy, it's hard to make an approach for me and even sometimes giving the wrong impression by avoiding or ignoring the person as you described.
How about, as a first tactic to test the waters, just give him your nicest smile when passing him and look at him. You will most definately get a feeling if there's a positive reaction/vibe from him.

After that you can decide if it's worth to make a bigger move and talking to him as the others suggested.
He might also approach you after your smiling signals:)

good luck with all

Hard to smile in the gym when your running on a threadmill or lifting weights :P- thanks though, good advice!