Verbal threats.

keelanj69

When I was a wee lad my dear mother used to come out with this weird threat 'Ill give you _____ now in a minute.' It made f**k all sense if I asked for a chicken burger or something she would say 'Ill give you chicken burger now in a second'.

What are some of the best/worst verbal threats you've heard?

GenieOz

Years ago I was in school and this nutjob in the class went on a MASSIVE rant at one of the boys and compared him to a toothpick saying he'd use him to pick his teeth? Funniest thing I'd ever heard! Barely remember it as it was a good long time ago now.

The King of Moo

I'll "verbal threat" you if I go as far as ya!

Sky King

That's the why.

Grayditch

Bouncer to a friend : "I'll chop your hair off with my hand".

We just walked off laughing.

pablo128

A traveller once said to me, "I'll burscht the whole half side of yer schkull in with a schlap!"

Vertigo100

I eat pieces of **** like you for breakfast.

Who eats **** for breakfast?

keelanj69

'Any of you men die with a clean sword, and I'll rape your corpses.'

What i like about this one is its versatility.

Sky King

pablo128 wrote: »

A traveller once said to me, "I'll burscht the whole half side of yer schkull in with a schlap!"

I'd like to go for a few pints with ya.... AND SHLAP YE INTO THE FACE AFTERWARDS, YA BOWSIE YA!

Donkey Oaty

In Soviet Russia chicken burgers give you.

MS.ing

"you want ........... do ye? Ill give ye .............. :mad: "

" k thanks"

MS.ing

Donkey Oaty wrote: »

In Soviet Russia chicken burgers give you.

lupus?

Artful_Badger

Sky King wrote: »

That's the why.

More of a reason than a threat though really.

tayto lover

When I was young a man threatened to break my head in ten halves.
Obviously he wasn't a teacher.

Wacker The Attacker

Is offering a chicken burger threatening?

Ihatecuddles

Ill pull your arm out and hit you with the soggy end.

My mother has a way with words!

Smiles35

keelanj69 wrote: »

When I was a wee lad my dear mother used to come out with this weird threat 'Ill give you _____ now in a minute.' It made f**k all sense if I asked for a chicken burger or something she would say 'Ill give you chicken burger now in a second'.

What are some of the best/worst verbal threats you've heard?

I think you left out that you were trolling your ma?

Ruu

I'll kill ya til yer dead! (randon phone call)

BNMC

Wait 'til your Father gets home!

KeithM89

Often heard around Dundalk, "I'll hurt ya a bawx".

CrinkElite

I'll cut the arse of ya with a slap.

thee glitz

I'll shove this effin pitchfork up yer hole.

Feisar

OZ:

I'll beat the black off you.

LoveChanel

keelanj69 wrote: »

'Any of you men die with a clean sword, and I'll rape your corpses.'

What i like about this one is its versatility.

Love Game of Thrones =D

Khannie

I'll put my foot so far up your hole you'll be picking my toenails out of your teeth, you prick.

gugleguy

I don't try to use provocation to get some different verbal threat. It's like setting fire to an aerosol spray. It might look cool, but then the can might explode....like the individual you are trying to elicit the threat from.

Porkpie

I remember reading a newspaper article years ago, it was so funny it's stuck in my head ever since. This happened in the US, a bank robber approached the teller and said "give me all your brains or I'll blow your money out!" Apparently the teller couldn't help but laugh.

juniord

ill put you into the middle of next week with a clatter , you,ll get that many clatters your gonna think its a round of applause

LoveChanel

I'll brake your face into three halves.

Your cruising for a bruising

Ten of Swords

Nobody makes threats quite like this guy

Mint Sauce

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Is offering a chicken burger threatening?

Depends on the takeaway.

confuseddotcom

I'll put ya into the middle of next week.

The Backwards Man

I was always threatened with a bottle of Milk Of Magnesia.

*shudder*

Me?

A rant my brother had at my other brother.
"I'll knock you out and wake you up just to knock you out again you half a fool"

They are twins.

WoollyRedHat

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

Is offering a chicken burger threatening?

If it has bird flu mixed with mad cow diseae, it can be fatal

wil

"I'll put the smile on the other side of your face"



But isn't that just a big grin

Little Acorn

"I'll beat ya with my little finger."

"I'll give ya such a boot you'll shi*e pink for a week"

"I'll dance on your skull"

"I'll break your face"

"I'll wig da head of ya"


None said directly to me thankfully, just overheard. :pac:

6781

Are talking to me or chewing on a brick? Cause either way you're gonna lose your teeth.

Frynge

"Do ya hear me lookin at ya"
"Shut your face when you're talking to me"

Sir Arthur Daley

By the time I'm done with you, you're gonna wish your Father pulled out early.

'I'll leave ye drinkin' your blood'

I'll leave ye suckin yer dinner ouva a straw...''

I'll tear your head off with my bare hands and shove it so far down your neck you'll have to stick your fingers up your *ss to bite your nails.




I heard it in a movie and was deeply impressed.

Dr Turk Turkelton

I'll hit ya so hard you'll get done for speeding in China.

Mozzeltoff

"I'll ****in brain so I will!"

"Listen to me, if I catch you I am gonna pull out your eyes and shove em down your pants, ok? And then I am gonna use your tongue to paint my boat!"

Moe Sizlack at his finest :pac:

stefan idiot jones

I'll fcukin' burst ya.

I'll hit you so hard and so fast you'll think you're fcukin' surrounded.

You'll wake up with a crowd around you.

I'll knock you back into next week.

I'll hit you so hard with a left you'll be begging for a right.

I'll bray your fcukin' heed in.

getupthatyard

"I'll put your eye in a sling"

"If I had a knife, I'd stab ye"

Plazaman

Good Sligo fight threats used to include : "Gwayta fúck or I'll kick ya in the heart" or "I swear, I'll hit ya with so many lefts, you'll be beggin for a right".

My auld Granny had the worst one of all though when she threatened to get "the sally rod". I actually thought it was some auld bag of a woman called Sally Rod until one day I actually got the sally rod (a thin willow branch) across the back of my legs..... while wearing shorts..... ouch. Never set fire to anything after that I'll tells ya.

keithclancy

When I moved here first to Holland some dude said "kanker op!"

Looked it up and it meant "Cancer on you"

Thought that was a rather voodooish insult.

Found out later it's the Dutch equivalent of f*ck you.

deise08

When we were younger we were always threatened with the holy picture.
'go in and say it in front of the holy picture and then I'll know if you're tellin the truth'
scared the bejesus out of us every time. worked though!

Dyr

Khannie wrote: »

I'll put my foot so far up your hole you'll be picking my toenails out of your teeth, you prick.

I'll put my boot so far up yer hole ye'll have to get a dentist to untie me shoe laces

Dyr

"do XYZ and you'll wish you had'nt"

never really got that mammy threat