Gave a Good Review But...

LegacyUser

I'm an online music reviewer and have been friends with a musician for a good few months now. We're not the closest or the type of friends where we would hang out often but we would talk online a lot, on Facebook and Twitter.

I was at his gig on Saturday and he was great. He asked beforehand for me to review it as a favour but I was planning to anyway. I thought he was brilliant as did my friends and wrote an honest, unbiased review. Now I'm starting to regret it.

Although nobody has commented this on the actual review (or maybe they have and the comments weren't put live by admins), a friend of mine sent screenshots of a few people saying on social media that I only gave him a great review because I am romantically interested in him or we are secretly romantically involved (to put it nicely). We tweet a lot and clearly are fairly close. We have a fair following on Twitter (many of those being mutual followers who would see our conversations). After the gig I will admit we did meet up for a few drinks, but it was with a group of mutual friends and there's nothing wrong with that. Also I will admit that I may be interested in him like that, but I feel it in no way affected the review. If anything surely logic would suggest that I would give him a not-so-great review, as I don't think the feelings are reciprocated? But then one could argue that maybe this was me trying to win over his affection.

I feel that this could impact on both mine and the sites credibility. It could also affect him because it could be seen as he is charming me to make himself look good. Has anybody dealt with this before? There is also the fear that if anything was to happen between us in the future, people would then look at that review and say I was smitten so it means nothing.

Thanks.

Merkin

randomreviewer wrote: »

I thought he was brilliant as did my friends and wrote an honest, unbiased review. Now I'm starting to regret it.

You shouldn't. You wrote an unbiased and very positive review based on the performance and if the consensus is that the gig was great, then your review is not going to look out of place or unfairly biased. If he had been really sh1te and was reminiscent of a cat being tortured and you had been extolling his virtues THEN you would have an issue on your hands, but if he was good and you can stand by what you said, then I would just ignore the teasing from people. If you have a good reputation otherwise, something like this is not going to sully it so I honestly wouldn't worry about it if I were you.

macplato

It's one of those things that you need to learn to ignore. We've all had things said about us that weren't true, or that were true but private, and those of us who choose to let it slide have a much easier time on this planet.

In similar situations I take comfort out of knowing that I am the only person who knows the truth - other people can speculate, can pry or try to provoke my reaction to annoy me, or to get closer to the truth. But I hold the truth and it's nobody's business but mine and those I choose to tell. If those people are so interested in your motivation for a great review of clearly a good artist, they must be quite unhappy with their personal lives, otherwise their energy and attention would be elsewhere. The comments have little to do with you, and a lot with their own nosiness and personal frustration.

Apart from that, you are over-thinking it, and wasting a lot of energy on something that you can't control, OP. Stressing out over something you can't control is such a waste of good, creative energy! People will always say stuff if you take a risk and put yourself out there - let them! If you don't react, they will soon move on to the next target.

As to your worry that this review will impact on your and the artist's credibility? I mean it in the kindest way OP - you are not that important!

Czarcasm

OP just so I'm clear - are you a music reviewer or a celebrity gossip columnist?

If you value your credibility that much, then stop letting the gossip get to you. You wrote a critique of a music performance and whether it was good, bad, or absolutely dire, people are talking about it so that's no bad thing. The issue comes in when you start making it personal. Keep your personal feelings out of it and don't feed into the gossip machine.

I'm sure you heard this morning that U2 are holding off on releasing another album until next year. This has set social media alight and fans are up in arms, and anyone that tries to say calm down is jumped on. These people care less about the music and more about the gossip. Your friend that sent you on screen-shots of what people were saying on social media is only adding fuel to the fire and as good a friend as they are and all, some people thrive on thinking they 'know more' than the next person or they're 'in the loop' and the other person isn't.

You need to step back and stop taking yourself so seriously. If it's your credibility as a music reviewer that's important to you, then focus on the music, and not on what people are gossiping about or your personal feelings or lack thereof for this musician.

Remember the Sinead O' Connor / Miley Cyrus social media circus?

Didn't do either of their careers any harm, and the world didn't fall off it's axis.

sadie06

Ignore it. Seriously, carry on with your work, and don't justify your actions.

Tokyo

I agree with those who have said that you should just put this behind you and move on.

However, for future reference I also believe that if you value your credibility, then you should decline from reviewing friends bands in the future, particularly if you are reviewing musicians professionally (can't tell from your OP).

You claim an unbiased review, however by your own admission you tweet a lot and are quite close, and also admit that the feelings alluded to in peoples tweets may actually be true. On top of all that, the guy asking beforehand for you to review it as a favour implies that he was expecting a positive review one way or the other. Would have you given a bad review if the band had been awful, knowing that you also might be romantically interested in the musician?? So you can hardly blame people for getting on the bandwagon when the rumour mill started cranking up - I think that it's extremely difficult to be completely impartial in those circumstances. A professional would either maintain a distance form the band involved, or would task someone else to review the band in order to prevent the credibility issues that are in your post. Something that you may want to consider in future.

Big Bag of Chips

I think you are over thinking this far too much.. maybe because you do actually have a little crush on him! If you thought what others were saying was complete and absolute nonsense then you would be laughing off the gossip.

Honestly though... It'll pass over. The 'gossips' will have something else to gossip about next week, and you'll be forgotten. They've already forgotten it by the way, and you are the only one dwelling on it.

In the grand scheme of things, I think this is a non-issue that is being exaggerated in your mind because there is a small element of truth to what people are saying. Ignore it, and it will be forgotten.