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Confused

  • 07-03-2014 1:56pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,

    So been with my bf for a year and a half. Never been with a guy that was so easy to be around- i can totally be myself. Since we met he has been my best friend. The problem- I don't see us being together forever.. I don't see him as the guy that I will marry. I feel I'm being selfish by not letting him know. Will I till him and risk loosing him? I'm going travelling in May for 3 months- is it selfish to wait until then to see how I feel during out time apart? I can't imagine ending things- it upsets me- but at the same time I don't see us lasting the distance.


Comments

  • #2
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    Hi OP,

    your post is a bit light on details as to why you feel that you and thins guy won't last the distance, and I think that this is something you need to examine for yourself. You've been together for a year and a half - are these doubts a recent thing, or have they been there from day one. The reason I ask is if there is any chance that your doubts are related to your up and coming three month trip abroad??

    However, unless it's something specific that you can put your finger on, it's possible that while he may be the perfect guy, he may simply not be the perfect guy for you. And if that's the case then it's only fair that you talk to him about it - putting him on the long finger in case you come round while you are away. Considering the upcoming trip, it sounds like you guys probably need to sit down and talk about things anyways, and it seems like a good opportunity to get things out in the open and take it from there.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I really appreciate your reply. I can't put my finger on anything specific. Its just while I do love him, he's not the guy I see myself spending my life with. Its not really a recent thing, but I've always had commitment worries. Theres been some changes lately- we're being made redundant in work, I'm moving house and I've been thinking about what I want from life in the long run. I don't think its to do with the trip abroad.. I think its be niggling at me before those plans were made. I don't want to be without him, we get on great but I feel I'm being selfish if my heart is not in it long term.. Perhaps a talk is best... I just don't know how to start- it will be coming from nowhere


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