No debs date :(

LegacyUser

Hey guys. Ok so my debs is in July and I have no date for it I don't really have any guy friends I could go with and the ones that I do have already have dates. It's just so pressurizing and I'm beginning to think I should give the whole thing a miss even though my friends and family want me to go and it's kinda getting me down . I don't have a choice because there is no way I'm going on my own any advice?

Penny Tration

Ask a female friend? You don't have to bring a male date.

Czarcasm

OP you shouldn't need to be getting this stressed about your Debs. You seem to have a good social life generally if you're able to mix with both guys and girls so maybe some of them could introduce you to some more of their guy friends?

You have plenty of time to find a guy you'd like to take you to your Debs. You could suggest too to friends and family that they cool their jets as it's putting pressure on you that you're not able to deal with right now, and once the pressure is off you should be more relaxed about meeting someone and getting to know them rather than throwing yourself at random guys in the hope that one of them says yes just for the sake of it.

OP don't ever let yourself think though you don't have a choice. You absolutely do, even if it's a choice between not going to your Debs, or going with someone you can't stand the sight of just for the sake of saying you went to your Debs. It's supposed to be an enjoyable night, not something that's expected of you to attend just because 'everyone else' is going to be there.

Four months away OP, you've got plenty of time to meet plenty of potential suitors!

freshpopcorn

Its a long ways away yet. Lots of people bring somebody of the same sex and lots go by themselves. often people who bring dates they don't fall into place until the last minute.

Big Bag of Chips

It's 5 months away. You can be pretty sure that a few of your friends who are already paired up, will regret organising it this soon! They will most likely end up meeting someone they'd rather go with, but feel like they can't uninvite the person they've already asked.

At the moment, the debs is the most important thing in your lives (apart from studying for you leaving cert, of course :P ) Take it from someone who has been to their fair share of debs.. they are not the end of the world. Going with a friend, a blind date or going as a group with your friends without dates, none of it is unusual these days.

It's 5 months away. Tell everyone to relax.

baby and crumble

Op, what's the worst thing that could happen if you go by yourself? Myself and my friends all went in a group- most of us on our own, a couple had boyfriends/ girlfriends so brought them and two brought kind of randomers.

Of the two who brought randomers, one ended up having to put up with the most boring date in the world and the other one went off with someone else halfway through the night! Meanwhile the rest of us were having a blast!

Anyway, it's months away! You never know what'll happen between now and then!!!

GenieOz

Hey OP, I never went to my own Debs..mostly because of the this very reason that asking someone to go scared the life out of me.
That said I regretted it big time, missing out on a fairly significant part of school life IMO.
That was nearly 9 years ago now and if I knew then how little of a deal it would have been to either go on my own or just ask a male or female friend (I'm male) then I surely would have!

Only recently a friends little brother went, at his school the majority of guys in his class, some 18 or so odd, all brought their own male friends. It's not that big a deal, it's an event and don't think whoever you're going to ask is going to think of it as you asking them to go out or anything even slightly more serious than that!


Anyway it's 5 months away, you'll more than likely spend the time with friends at the Debs than with your 'date' (unless you pick a friend) so don't be worried about going alone either.

Chazz Michael Michaels

Ask your male friends to suggest a friend.

convert

There were quite a few of my friends who went to their debs on their own and had a great night. I didn't have an OH at the time and went with one of my friends' cousins as a +1, while others brought their mates. Maybe you could bring one of your cousins or friends' friends/cousins/brothers as a +1? If not, don't stress too much about it. It's your night, the last night with your school friends as the class of 2014, so go and have fun, even without a +1. And what's more, you have 4 or 5 months still, so there's every chance you'll find someone to go with - it's nearly half a year away! As has already been mentioned above, you will probably regret it if you don't go. You only live once, so make the most of it.

not1but4

I had the same problem and my friends in school peer pressured me to ask a girl in one of my classes but she already had a date, thankfully.

Another option was to ask a girl I knew well from my estate but she didn't know anyone in my school and I didn't want to be trying to keep her company all night.

So I decided to buck the trend and asked two of my male friends who knew a lot of my friends in school, ended up being a great night and to this day I am very glad I made that decision.

Turns out quite a few people had the same problem and just went by themselves, even one of the 'cool' kids.

What makes me cringe 8 years later is asking that girl in my class who I didn't want to bring in the first place.

LegacyUser

Thanks for replies guys. I found out a few days ago that tickets go on sale really soon. While it is relatively cheap to buy one ticket if I buy two it will come to €50+ euro. I know that In some schools tickets are 100 for a pair but I don't want to pay that much and I really can't aford it this means I would have to go with someone from within my year and I don't really have anyone I'd go with I know it's silly to get stressed out over something like this but I'm the type of person who does get stressed over stuff like this aha there's a possibility I'd be able to go with someone outside of school as I might meet someone as it's 4 months away but having to pay right now for 2 tickets isn't really possible for me. I can only aford one any advice would be appreciated! I just wish everyone would shut up talking about it lol :L

convert

Would the school let you pay for your tickets in installments? It is a lot of money to ask to students to pay up front, so there may be a possibility that they'd let you pay over a period of time.

LegacyUser

Unfortunately we don't pay installments in our school it's basically we either pay for 2 or 1 on the day.. I mean I guess I could get one and then if I I do happen to meet someone in between now and July I could still bring them? It's my debs, I couldn't be kicked out? it's just not an option for me to able to pay for 2 tickets in such a short amount of time

Big Bag of Chips

You don't have to buy them on the day. I can guarantee you, there will be people undecided up until the very end.

Final numbers will not have to be given to the hotel until the week before the debs. Trust me on this! The debs tickets will not be a "one day only sale".

You ARE panicking. But you are panicking over nothing. There's a chance the organisers, if they are a committee of your classmates are panicking, but equally they are panicking over nothing!! I've organised debs. I've organised my wedding. You can decide a week before if you want to go or not, and it will make no difference.

Lollipop95

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

You don't have to buy them on the day. I can guarantee you, there will be people undecided up until the very end.

Final numbers will not have to be given to the hotel until the week before the debs. Trust me on this! The debs tickets will not be a "one day only sale".

You ARE panicking. But you are panicking over nothing. There's a chance the organisers, if they are a committee of your classmates are panicking, but equally they are panicking over nothing!! I've organised debs. I've organised my wedding. You can decide a week before if you want to go or not, and it will make no difference.

Is this true, you really don't have to pay before the debs? I also have my debs and the debs committe told us we would have to buy them on the day if we wanted to go.. Re the tickets, what do we need them for, who are they shown to?

Big Bag of Chips

You will have to pay before the debs, as the committee will need to have the money to give to the hotel. But you don't have to pay 4 or 5 months before the debs.

I think your debs committees are getting a bit ahead of themselves, and might find very few tickets are actually bought and paid for on the day they are made available.

Re:showing the tickets. You probably won't have to show them to anyone. There might be someone collecting them on the door. They are more a token, so that the committee know how many are sold, and how many meals need to be paid for.

sopretty

Back in my hay day, my cousin asked me would I come along to the debs as partner to his friend who had no date. This was before Facebook etc., and I was a little apprehensive, but my cousin assured me that he was a sound lad, he just wanted someone for show so to speak and that we'd all be in a group together. I went along. Met the lad in a pub beforehand, along with my cousin and his girlfriend. It was actually the best debs I was at. The lad was very sound, we had great craic between us all.

Would you ask a friend/cousin etc., whether they know someone who would be happy to go to a party?

LegacyUser

You see, I would be more than happy getting my own ticket now and then getting another ticket at a later date as I would have money saved up. But our debs committe have told us we need to buy them on the day if we want to go! And I know they can't be purchased online( I don't thinks so...) so saving up to buy one online if I did get a date closer to the time wouldn't be an option either unfortunately

sopretty

DebsDateless wrote: »

You see, I would be more than happy getting my own ticket now and then getting another ticket at a later date as I would have money saved up. But our debs committe have told us we need to buy them on the day if we want to go! And I know they can't be purchased online( I don't thinks so...) so saving up to buy one online if I did get a date closer to the time wouldn't be an option either unfortunately

Is there a limited amount of tickets? Or have they a limited time-frame to achieve a certain price or something?

LegacyUser

sopretty wrote: »

Is there a limited amount of tickets? Or have they a limited time-frame to achieve a certain price or something?

I don't think so,no

Big Bag of Chips

DebsDateless wrote: »

our debs committe have told us we need to buy them on the day if we want to go!

Your debs committee are talking sh...!

convert

Unless things have changed significantly, the purchasing of debs tickets shouldn't be limited to just one day. People's plans change all the time, so having to buy one months in advance is a bit odd... Are there any staff members on the debs committee (there usually were in my day!)? If so, approach them and have a chat with them about it.

LegacyUser

As far as I know yes purchasing tickets is only limited to one day. And no, the debs committee consist of students, the teachers don't get involved and let the committee sort things out among themselves. I've decided if I purchase one ticket and hey I I do meet someone in the mean time I will just sneak them in somehow lol I don't think it's worth me stressing anymore. I will just buy the ticket for myself and if I do happen to get a date outside school I'll ask one of the members of the committee I suppose an see if they can do anything thanks guys, I don't feel as stressed out now

freshpopcorn

Its probally just a scare tactic of the committee to get ye to buy the tickets now. If you ask closer to the date they'd probably be able to get you a ticket. Its extra money for the hotel I'm sure they can fit extra people in.

Irish_Dan

Mines in August we could go to eachother? 17 lad

Lollipop95

Regarding the tickets... perhaps if the debs committee are insisting on the day and you only buy one , is there possibly a website you could purchase debs tickets off? I'm sure they'd be all the same and I do vaguely remember seeing some debs that offered tickets, don't have a clue where the people organising it get the tickets from so couldn't say if it's the same for every school. And I'm sure the Debs committee could get hold of an extra ticket. The tickets are transferable and they do get sold. That's what our committee told us anyways! Some may buy and may not end up going at all... It happens!

Taltos

Irish_Dan - please stop propositioning other posters here. This is the 2nd thread you have done this in. Any further violations of our charter will result in moderator action.

LegacyUser

Well I found out today that it's actually the afters tickets that are 25 each :eek: which means I will have to pay 100 if I was to purchase 2 tickets...I could barely afford one,let alone two! :eek: I do know some people in my year aren't actualy going which would mean they would have tickets left over and surely they would not simply throw away the tickets left over?! If I meet someone between now and May(that's when we finsih school before the leaving) hopefully the debs committe will be able to do something for me. It's just I don't want to be putting hassle on them but there's way I could afford buying 2 tickets at 100 euro! It's money I simply cannot afford to spend

Est28

DebsDateless wrote: »

Hey guys. Ok so my debs is in July and I have no date for it I don't really have any guy friends I could go with and the ones that I do have already have dates. It's just so pressurizing and I'm beginning to think I should give the whole thing a miss even though my friends and family want me to go and it's kinda getting me down . I don't have a choice because there is no way I'm going on my own any advice?

OP,
Not sure if this will help but I didn't go to mine. That was around 12 years ago...
Times I've thought about it in the last 11 years 11 months... zero.

I was 17 finishing up school. I went to an all boys school, I worked part-time and played sports in every free moment besides that.... maybe a little sad to admit, but I had no real female friends, my sister wouldn't have been up for it and I had no real cousins or anything I could ask.

So with that in mind, personally I didn't even want to go, it didn't interest me at the time, but mainly because I knew I wouldn't have a date.

Ok, what does that have to do with you?
Well, I brushed it off easily... teachers, a few classamtes etc... asked what my plans were for going and I just said flat out, I wasn't going, it's just not my thing, and no more questions were asked...

If you really want to go, ask friends or family, I'm sure SOMEONE can fix you up with a date.

But if you don't go... honestly... for all the type, I never understood it. Your life will change and friends will change more than you realize in the next few years out of school, it's really nothing.

funkey_monkey

I was in a similar situation to you. In fact most of my friends at the time had no GFs to bring so most brought randomer - and so did I.

It was awkward and added nothing to the night.

Not sure what point I'm saying here other than bringing a date won't make or break your night. I can't imagine that everyone else will have partners either.

I actually really wish I had brought a male friend to my debs. Like the OP, I couldn't find anyone and ended up bringing a friend of a friend. Long story short, it wasn't all that great a night.

OP, honestly, the debs don't mean a thing and I do not understand why we put so much emphasis on them.

missjm

I got a male friend to ask one of his friends. Unfortunately the night before the debs my male friend told me that his friend was going to make a move on the night. I had no interest in him this way so was terrified the whole evening. Myself and my male friend spent the night dancing together as he didn't like his date either. My date (his friend) punched him accusing him of making moves on me. My male friend is now happily married to a man. Funny how life turns out!

I think you should ask somebody you're already friendly or comfortable with and don't put yourself under any undue pressure. That way you can enjoy the night and not be worrying about 'entertaining' somebody or being awkward around somebody.

LegacyUser

DebDateless,

12 years ago, I had my debs. At the time, I was a very shy 17 year old guy and didnt know how to talk to girls. I wasnt going to bother going. Like your school, my school sold tickets on specific dates months before the debs. I didnt bother buying any as I didnt intend on going.

Then, 3 or 4 days before the debs, one of my friends called me asking me about meeting up before the debs. I told him I wasnt going as I didnt know anybody to bring. He really wanted me to go and got the girl he was going with to ask one of her friends. So I actually ended up going to the debs with a girl I never met in my life until the day of the debs. Had a nice time with her and her friends.

However, I will always regret not asking a girl to the debs myself. People like to be asked to these things, so if you want to find a date, you will. Throughout my 20's, I became friends with lots of girls and many of them told me with a long sad face how they were never asked to a debs. If only I knew that when I was 17! My advice would be to identify a guy you like (either a guy you fancy or a guy who just think is nice & friendly) and ask him. It doesnt necessarily need to be a guy you know, but it could be a guy you have seen at a distance with schoolmates of yours and think hmm, he looks cool! Again, people like to be asked! Dont leave school with regrets about your debs like I did!

Had no problem getting a ticket a couple of days before the debs (believe me, you wont either; nightclubs / pubs / hotels etc. dont turn away business).