in a spot of bother.

such is life 2

Hello,

I read alot of posts here and forgive me if this is in the wrong thread. Just have a question or maybe a situation im in at the mo that could do with some advice.
I had a long term girlfriend for two and half years nearly three, we were renting a house and had a dog. In the summer she moved in with her friends beacuse she didnt like the house we moved to (the second house) plus she said that she was unhappy a week before my exams,I moved in with parents with the dog at the end of the month but we were still together and we were making it work to which i thought.
So in Mid january she decided that i wasnt making effort with her and broke it off,(bear in mind i did nearly everything for the woman maybe i was a bit to nice) i told her i wasnt giving up and was gona fight for her,we have met up a bit since then actually alot since then and kissed, she then tells me shes been seeing and texting a fella for the last few weeks, now im gutted absolutely digusted aswell, al the time she was on walks and lunches and drives and she was texting this other guy while with me makes me sick.

My question is this should i be mad at her, she wants to be friends but that cant work for me usually in these situations i cut all ties and delete her from everything. She waited i would say a total of 3 weeks before getting out there, maybe i should have done the same but all the time we were seeing each other i didnt want to see anyone else.

advise appreciated, and if have questions happy to answer. Shouls also say im in mid 20s

moorehouse1

such is life 2 wrote: »

Hello,

I read alot of posts here and forgive me if this is in the wrong thread. Just have a question or maybe a situation im in at the mo that could do with some advice.
I had a long term girlfriend for two and half years nearly three, we were renting a house and had a dog. In the summer she moved in with her friends beacuse she didnt like the house we moved to (the second house) plus she said that she was unhappy a week before my exams,I moved in with parents with the dog at the end of the month but we were still together and we were making it work to which i thought.
So in Mid january she decided that i wasnt making effort with her and broke it off,(bear in mind i did nearly everything for the woman maybe i was a bit to nice) i told her i wasnt giving up and was gona fight for her,we have met up a bit since then actually alot since then and kissed, she then tells me shes been seeing and texting a fella for the last few weeks, now im gutted absolutely digusted aswell, al the time she was on walks and lunches and drives and she was texting this other guy while with me makes me sick.

My question is this should i be mad at her, she wants to be friends but that cant work for me usually in these situations i cut all ties and delete her from everything. She waited i would say a total of 3 weeks before getting out there, maybe i should have done the same but all the time we were seeing each other i didnt want to see anyone else.

advise appreciated, and if have questions happy to answer. Shouls also say im in mid 20s

Delete everything and cut off all contact mate
Thats bull****
Bitch move on her part and anyway ye cant be friends with exs
just doesnt work

such is life 2

thanks for the reply, I know everyone says theres two sides to every story but in this case really i dono i cant think of anything else i could have done, never cheated always faithful, brought her to work,brought her away on day trips etc, maybe i was to nice i dono

Penny Tration

It doesn't matter if there's two sides to every story.

Your side is - she's seeing someone else and she dumped you.

So cut contact.

It's gonna hurt a lot, but it'll be easier without having any contact with her. Stop chasing her, mate. She's gone.

Borderfox

Godfather 2, Michael closes the door on the wife. That's the attitude to have

Move on and enjoy life

passremarkable

Op, other posters are right, forget about her man. It will hurt for a while but these things happen everyday to people . You will be better for it.
Cut ties and move on

MarkR

She was gone long before she moved out. Move on, don't waste any more of your life on someone who doesn't want you.

lollsangel

Forget her, seems like shes playing headgames. Anyway even if you wanted to remain friends its too raw yet

Slattsy

Move along now.

I wouldn't spend another minute thinking about her.

Plenty of fish in the sea.

corsav6

Move on for your own sake, she doesn't sound like someone you could plan a happy future with. Its a very hard decision but someday you will look back and realise you done the right thing. I have been there and done that and now I couldn't be happier with my present girlfriend, she proved what my ex was.

Says I To Bridey

Move on and cut contact, nothing good will come of messing around and games she's playing. Although I think its best to get the idea that you were too nice out of your head. Not a good basis for future relationships if you start questioning if your too nice to that person

SamAK

Cut it off, I know that seeing her gives you hope and temporarily eases the pain but she's just stringing you along. The best thing is to cease contact and let the wounds begin to heal....

The only thing that gets rid of the pain you're feeling is time.

In a few months or so, you'll look back and laugh about it, and the burning feeling of anger/sadness/betrayal will have disappeared. Then you'll be left with the happy memories, and that's always something to feel good about no matter how it ended.

I know it sounds mad, but there are people out there the same age as you who have never had relationships. Go check out the personal issues forum here on boards and it will put your situation into perspective, I guarantee it will make you feel better!!

Yes, it's hard....but there's no other way around it other than to let time pass. Love makes fools of every guy at various times in their lives....you are not alone mate. I've been burned a few times before and I know how crap it feels.

The fact is that there's so many wonderful women out there, and when you meet the next one, you'll wonder why the hell you wasted even a second feeling bad over this girl. You deserve better, she's just being a proper b1tch. Texting someone else while she's with you? Absolutely not acceptable. Get out of there, ASAP.

Stay strong, and occupy yourself with other things in life. Don't dwell on it too much...stay busy

Flimbos

such is life 2 wrote: »

...usually in these situations i cut all ties and delete her from everything...

OP, do exactly this. Sounds like she's stringing you along and enjoying the attention, while keeping your hopes up.

Cut all contact, get out, meet friends and enjoy life.

tunguska

Jesus man cut off all contact with her. Thats like rubbing salt into the wound otherwise. You sound like a good bloke, maybe too good, but obviously she was playing by a different set of rules. Its one of those very harsh lessons in life you have to learn. A lot of blokes when something like this happens to them they become players and try their best to mess women around but thats just becoming the thing you hate. Theres a line from Gone baby gone thats spot on:

“When I was young, I asked my priest how to get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God told His children;'You are sheep among wolves, be wise as the serpent, yet innocent as doves.”

deelite

MarkR wrote: »

She was gone long before she moved out. Move on, don't waste any more of your life on someone who doesn't want you.

Totally agree. To me it appears she wants out but has you on a lead just in case her new venture doesn't work out.

bbam

Walk away and don't be making dirt of yourself.

king_of_inismac

We are creatures of habit. Being in constant contact with her, sharing your time and experiences with her is a habit (and a difficult one to stop cold turkey). At this stage, and after her behavoir, it had become a destructive habit.

But being friends is akin to telling a smoker that the best way to quit is to only smoke at weekends. It just doesn't work.

Cut her completely out of your life for six months or longer and you'll get a much better perspective on things.

Jawgap

I'd go with the general theme and advise having nothing to do with her.

It sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it - see other guys while always having you there as a steady, fall back option, if she gets into trouble or wants something done. If you keep up contact you'll end up not only frustrated and upset but running all sorts of errands and becoming her general 'go-for.'

Move on, don't be mad - that's just a bit negative and why should you feel bad? But if you must be angry, get past and through it as quickly as possible.......and realise that it getting the dog, you got the best end of the deal!

Good luck.

such is life 2

thanks for all yere comments i really appreciate the advise, il follow the trend, thinking of going to my mate in the big city for a few days just to get out here for a day or two, Usually in these situations i go on the batter for a good while but to be honest that dont solve anything so just going to chill out and follow the good advice that was given here. Thanks

Slattsy

Tell your mates the craic, i guarantee you they'll be there, waiting to go on the beer with you!

Panthro

Wouldn't recommend going on the batter tbh.
Great craic while your on it, and you'll get half notions that what's happened isn't bothering you.
Then the come down from the booze kicks in and everything appears so much than what it actually is!
My advise, keep yourself occupied, do stuff you enjoy doing, hang out with your mates as much as possible. Keep yourself busy in other words.

such is life 2

i have a great bunch of friends alright, might just have a beer or two and chill out with them nothing mad, maybe even walk the dog ha, I sincerely thank you all and hopefully il look back sooner rather than later at this thread and tell you where im at. (Hopefully happy)

Slattsy

Panthro wrote: »

Wouldn't recommend going on the batter tbh.
Great craic while your on it, and you'll get half notions that what's happened isn't bothering you.
Then the come down from the booze kicks in and everything appears so much than what it actually is!
My advise, keep yourself occupied, do stuff you enjoy doing, hang out with your mates as much as possible. Keep yourself busy in other words.

Ah come on, he's not on pills
Defo socialise, that's my opinion. I reckon if he kisses some random girl, swaps numbers etc he'll quickly forget ya wan and will help move on.

That's just me though, i'd be fond of a drop

Slattsy

such is life 2 wrote: »

i have a great bunch of friends alright, might just have a beer or two and chill out with them nothing mad, maybe even walk the dog ha, I sincerely thank you all and hopefully il look back sooner rather than later at this thread and tell you where im at. (Hopefully happy)

Good luck buddy, life is too short to be stressed out over them wimmins, they're only hassle truth be told

(dont tell mine i said that)

Paybel

such is life 2 wrote: »

I had a long term girlfriend for two and half years nearly three, we were renting a house and had a dog. In the summer she moved in with her friends beacuse she didnt like the house we moved to (the second house) plus she said that she was unhappy a week before my exams,I moved in with parents with the dog at the end of the month but we were still together and we were making it work to which i thought.

To me, rereading this again seems to be the start of the break up

So in Mid january she decided that i wasnt making effort with her and broke it off,(bear in mind i did nearly everything for the woman maybe i was a bit to nice) i told her i wasnt giving up and was gona fight for her

She clearly doesn't know what she wants. You don't want to be with someone who's not sure if they want you. There's soo many girls that get treated like c**p who would love someone to fight for them.

she then tells me shes been seeing and texting a fella for the last few weeks, now im gutted absolutely digusted aswell, al the time she was on walks and lunches and drives and she was texting this other guy while with me makes me sick.

Cheeky wagon! This kind of thing annoys me, clearly she was texting flirty texts and not chatting about the weather. If she can't give you the attention you deserve then leave her - she's not worth it.

My question is this should i be mad at her, she wants to be friends but that cant work for me usually in these situations i cut all ties and delete her from everything. She waited i would say a total of 3 weeks before getting out there, maybe i should have done the same but all the time we were seeing each other i didnt want to see anyone else.

advise appreciated, and if have questions happy to answer. Shouls also say im in mid 20s

Think of it as you are hearing the story from your best mate - you would want the best for them and she just sounds toxic!

You're young, move on to someone who will treat you better and will give you the time. Don't waste your time on someone to make up their mind. 3 weeks is very quick to get over someone after nearly 3 years of being together.

good luck!

Arthur Beesley

Spot of bother? Is she preggers?

nuckeythompson

such is life 2 wrote: »

Hello,

I read alot of posts here and forgive me if this is in the wrong thread. Just have a question or maybe a situation im in at the mo that could do with some advice.
I had a long term girlfriend for two and half years nearly three, we were renting a house and had a dog. In the summer she moved in with her friends beacuse she didnt like the house we moved to (the second house) plus she said that she was unhappy a week before my exams,I moved in with parents with the dog at the end of the month but we were still together and we were making it work to which i thought.
So in Mid january she decided that i wasnt making effort with her and broke it off,(bear in mind i did nearly everything for the woman maybe i was a bit to nice) i told her i wasnt giving up and was gona fight for her,we have met up a bit since then actually alot since then and kissed, she then tells me shes been seeing and texting a fella for the last few weeks, now im gutted absolutely digusted aswell, al the time she was on walks and lunches and drives and she was texting this other guy while with me makes me sick.

My question is this should i be mad at her, she wants to be friends but that cant work for me usually in these situations i cut all ties and delete her from everything. She waited i would say a total of 3 weeks before getting out there, maybe i should have done the same but all the time we were seeing each other i didnt want to see anyone else.

advise appreciated, and if have questions happy to answer. Shouls also say im in mid 20s

Take it as a lucky escape , sounds alot like my ex. Hope you got to keep the dog. you will get over this eventually and come out stronger
Thats the type of woman who will never be happy. They will grow into bitter lonely old women

Paybel

nuckeythompson wrote: »

Hope you got to keep the dog.

YES!!! Did you get to keep the dog???

such is life 2

i do have the dog, but it was given to me as a christmas present from herself, its a constant reminder of her to be honest but obviously not the poor muts fault, he has a great home here and we adore him

MaroonAndGreen

While reading the post I was certain it was gona be a dispute over the dog :P

But yeah, OP do your best to forget about her.

Paybel

such is life 2 wrote: »

i do have the dog, but it was given to me as a christmas present from herself, its a constant reminder of her to be honest but obviously not the poor muts fault, he has a great home here and we adore him

Look, it's still very early days. You can't expect to get over someone that you went out with for that long quick.

Anytime there's a break up there's always going to be reminders. For me, it was whenever I was in town I would see a bus that went out to where he lived, or a song on the radio - sh1te like that. Or places we used to go to.

For me, I would put myself in those places with a friend again, not too soon after but not too long after, so that the next time I was there (after I was there with a friend) I wouldn't think "oh last time I was here, or last time I seen this I was with..." I go to those places with friends so I wouldn't be reminded of it by being on my own.

You'll never forget how you came by the dog, you must learn to accept that - but hopefully the pain associated with the dog lessens over time. I'm sure the dog gives you lots of love and that will balance out the pain - they are a man's best friend.

such is life 2

very true "Paybel", i live in a small town so that seems a great suggestion and i know the lads would be more than willing to help me do that as we eat out alot. Just trying to keep active

TKT84

Forget about her, and never "fight" for a woman, find a woman who respects you and values you.

such is life 2

Hey People,

Just thought id let ye know the situation or where im at. Well since i posted this my ex contacted my on Sunday Night asking was i ringing her off private number to which i wasnt and sent a few more texts indicating she was a bit creeped out , she then contacted me yesterday saying she was watching a program that made her think of me seens that we always watched it together, she also said she was making one of my fav dinners and shed drop it up to me sometime to which my response was "why the hell would you do that", she has since text me today asking again if its me ringing her off private number.

I know I shouldnt even text her back or contact her back in the first place, But its very hard not to if you know what im saying. like i said ive cut all ties fb/twitter/deleted number off phone but shes still able to contact me, just wondering on thoughts with this

Tokyo

Your ex is an attention whore, simple as that. Sounds like she's not getting here daily dosage of attention at the moment, and is going back to her old stomping ground (you) to make up the deficit.

My advice? Set an alarm to go off on your phone every hour that displays the following message:

"She left me for someone else. Now she's whoring for attention"

Read that message to remind you of the situation EVERY time the alarm goes off. And keep the phone charged. Life is too short for that kind of drama.

Virgil°

such is life 2 wrote: »

Hey People,

Just thought id let ye know the situation or where im at. Well since i posted this my ex contacted my on Sunday Night asking was i ringing her off private number to which i wasnt and sent a few more texts indicating she was a bit creeped out , she then contacted me yesterday saying she was watching a program that made her think of me seens that we always watched it together, she also said she was making one of my fav dinners and shed drop it up to me sometime to which my response was "why the hell would you do that", she has since text me today asking again if its me ringing her off private number.

I know I shouldnt even text her back or contact her back in the first place, But its very hard not to if you know what im saying. like i said ive cut all ties fb/twitter/deleted number off phone but shes still able to contact me, just wondering on thoughts with this

Shes making excuses(poor ones) to contact you. I think you know this. She may have discovered the grass isn't so green, she may just be being friendly.
Not texting back is only hard because you DO actually want to text her.

Next thing you'll be on here telling us how you met up with her and kissed but shes not sure of her feelings blah blah blah. You get the routine.

If you want to continue on to an easier life with someone who won't wreck your head. Do not text back. Your next response should say:

"It's not me ringing you from a private number, please stop contacting me". Then never reply again.

Slattsy

Lovely mate, just perfect you should be enjoying every second of this!


THIS IS YOU WINNING

Stavro Mueller

If you have a smartphone, it's possible to block numbers. At this stage, blocking your ex's number would be a good idea.

- Android
- iPhone
- Windows phone

I'm not entirely sure about regular phones but as far as I know you can get your network provider to block numbers.

MagicMarker

Slattsy wrote: »

Lovely mate, just perfect you should be enjoying every second of this!


THIS IS YOU WINNING

No, this is her winning.

When he stops replying, THAT'S him winning.

Slattsy

MagicMarker wrote: »

No, this is her winning.

When he stops replying, THAT'S him winning.

Touche!
Fair point, but he's not giving an inch to her, so he's leading by one coming into injury time. And he has the ball.

:-)

jane82

Dont reply anymore. Her new fella probably fecked off and she needs you until she finds another one I reckon.
Tell her to get on with her life plenty more women out there.

such is life 2

Thanks for the replies, Her new fella is still on the scene i believe, I doubt hed be to happy if he knew she was texting me

CaraMay

Well reply and say 'no it wasn't me calling from a private number maybe it was your boyfriend?'. Then finish it off saying 'please don't contact me again'.

LegacyUser

She decided to end things with you a week before your exams. Since then she met someone and she told you she wants you to remain friends.
I know you still have feelings for her but at this stage she is just using you.
She wants you to be there if things don't work out with her present boyfriend and if she wants someone to talk to.

At this stage I would ask around and see if you can get the boyfriends number.
The next time she rings you I would just say to her is your boyfriends number //// if you ring me again I will contact him about you.
I would then tell her to stop ring you.

As a woman I want to tell you this girl is nothing but a user and you could do better than her. Go away for a few days and go out and enjoy yourself but don't go binge drinking as it will you only make you feel worse.

Paybel

such is life 2 wrote: »

My ex contacted my on Sunday Night asking was i ringing her off private number to which i wasnt and sent a few more texts indicating she was a bit creeped out ... she has since text me today asking again if its me ringing her off private number.

It's a lame excuse (as someone has already pointed out). She's trying to get you back interested. She's just wanting attention. Maybe it's not working out with this guy the way she wanted. Sounds like she's just playing games. Do you want to be with someone who would use you? She clearly thinks she's got some emotional power over you. It's up to you whether or not you allow her use it.

I wonder what would her reaction would be if you tested the waters and mentioned you had a date with someone, or was going to hang out with a girl.
I know it's game play, but sometimes it's okay to test the waters.

She seems very insecure about herself and wants attention from everyone.
Did she mention what the phone call was? Has she mentioned to her boyfriend about this private number?? I would think she would go to him first.

CaraMay

The whole private number thing was only an excuse to get back in touch with him. Why would she not just answer the private number ffs. Ridiculous.

MagicMarker

CaraMay wrote: »

The whole private number thing was only an excuse to get back in touch with him. Why would she not just answer the private number ffs. Ridiculous.

I never answer private numbers.

Catphish

such is life 2 wrote: »

Hey People,

Just thought id let ye know the situation or where im at. Well since i posted this my ex contacted my on Sunday Night asking was i ringing her off private number to which i wasnt and sent a few more texts indicating she was a bit creeped out , she then contacted me yesterday saying she was watching a program that made her think of me seens that we always watched it together, she also said she was making one of my fav dinners and shed drop it up to me sometime to which my response was "why the hell would you do that", she has since text me today asking again if its me ringing her off private number.

I know I shouldnt even text her back or contact her back in the first place, But its very hard not to if you know what im saying. like i said ive cut all ties fb/twitter/deleted number off phone but shes still able to contact me, just wondering on thoughts with this

One final text. "Please stop asking me if it is me ringing from a private number, because it's not and it never will be. I'm not interested in being friends either, so could you kindly delete my number." Then ignore every text and call from her after that. This shit about thinking of you when it comes to this programme / that food is designed to keep you stringing along. Get out and enjoy life op, all the best.

CaraMay

MagicMarker wrote: »

I never answer private numbers.

I don't understand that but anywho....

It wouldn't make sense to me that, rather than answer the phone, she would text around to see who was calling her?!?!?!?

Tokyo

Can I remind everyone to keep the posts on topic and as constructive advice directed towards the OP??

Regards,
Mike