Son failing mocks...

Daisymay2007

So my 14 year old son has failed 4 jc mock exams and passed three....so far. We had paid for him to do supervised study 3 nights a week and also he was 'studying' pretty much every night...but it now transpires that he was sitting with a girl he has a major crush on at supervised study and that he really wasn't doing a tap up in his room...I'll be honest and say that I am pretty disappointed with him. He is such a bright spark (ok, I am his mam...) but this has come from various teachers and the year head...they all don't know where he has gone wrong....we have decided to pull him back from some of his sports which I know is going to cause some serious back lash...any advice from any parents who have been in this situation/are in this situation?? I feel like we have tried everything with him bar doing the exams for him...........cheers

Get Real

I personally don't think you should pull back on letting him do sports etc.

You acknowledge yourself that this could lead to a backlash, and where would that lead?

I know its important he do well in his exams, and any parent would want that for their child.

But he's 14, as soon as the Junior Cert is over, it'll be irrelevant. Don't get me wrong, I think its good for children to engage in these kinds of exams/ develop a good work ethic etc. But in 3/4 years when he's applying for college, whats the JC have to do with anything?

You know from others that hes smart and intelligent, so don't think in three or 4 years he's not going to take his future seriously. But what would be the point of potentially harming your relationship over an exam that will eventually come to pass and be nothing other than a "nice" milestone?

I think if that were to happen, then at this young age, he will come to associate academic learning with negative thoughts, which could jepordise leaving cert studying. Never force too harshly something a child does not want to do.

I know of one person who was a high achiever but was forced and directed to study law afrer the LC. His actual interests lay elsewhere but it wasnt up for negotiation. He dropped out and everyone asks but why, he's so smart/ intelligent etc. Thats irrelevant if he detests the subject. Perhaps if he picked what he wanted he could have progressed because its about having your heart in it, not just your mind.

Sorry, I know that doesn't directly apply here, but what I'm saying is, don't take it too harshly at this early stage, support him in sport, particularly when its such a constructive activity, and support him academically too, but do not push/restrict/ punish, it will only lead to worse things, IMO

Daisymay2007

I really agree with everything you say....its amazing the knee jerk response and emotions that come out of me when I am confronted with situations like this. I would have always thought I would be the 'easy going, understanding, best friend' type mam but....unfortunately I'm not...I wouldn't take his sports away 100%. No way. I know he needs a social and physical outlet but he has been training 4 times a week plus match at the weekend....I really just want the best for him. I know its only the jc....I try to keep this mantra in my mind but.....

thanks for your input, it makes perfect sense.

Get Real

no worries

I hope it works out in the end. I know sometimes it can be easier to act on emotions without looking at the long term and possible adverse consequences.

I think perhaps ask him what he thinks. Why he failed as many etc. would he be up for cutting back on sports. If he says no, then let him make that decision. And that you expect there to be an improvement in the summer. It will give him a sense of "oh s..t, Ive been trusted to do well here, and I made the decision"

There is nothing more encouraging than ones own decsions. The weight of responsibility and self pressure is ten times that of pressure which has been forced.

If then it comes to June, and he does what you deem to be well, then all is good. If not, then sit him down, ask him why, tell him you let him make the decsion etc and decide what you as a parent want to do from there.

But if you restrict now without his agreement, its almost saying to him "I don't trust you to do well in three and a half months time and I'm jumping the gun by presuming you're already going to fail the real thing"

Whereas at least if you engage with him and he chooses his way and fails, you have a basis and argument for doing it your way.

Anyway, its nice to see you care hopefully the results are better in June.

Good luck to both of you :pac:

CrazyRabbit

The mock exams are harder than the actual exams. They do this to scare the students into studying harder for the real exam.

Saying that, it looks like he could do with some better tutoring, or a male study partner. The exam isn't all that important, but if he isn't understanding what he is being taught now, then he'll struggle in 5th/6th year.

Ask him how he wants to deal with it rather than trying to force something on him. Work with him to find a way to improve his studying & understanding of the material. That will get much better results.

slaneylad

make him do homework in the supervised study and when he comes home from school make him study for 45 mins to an hour every evening at home. Dont let him watch Tv or have internet access till hes done this hour. Threaten him with pulling his sports but dont actually.

freshpopcorn

I know lots of people who did awful in the pres in both the junior and leaving cert and they did good in the exams in June.
How much did he fail them by?
I used do higher level maths up until the pres results came out and I always knew I couldn't do it but I only did because the teacher was easy going. So what I'm saying is is he able to do higher level in these subject's? Or does he need to drop down?

December2012

Why would you stop him doing sports when the problem is he wasn't studying when he was supposed to?

Better off making sure he stops messing in supervised study or study at home. Sit over him if you have to instead of taking away sport.

theLuggage

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

The mock exams are harder than the actual exams. They do this to scare the students into studying harder for the real exam.

Not actually the case. Mock exams are exactly that - trial run exams, neither harder or easier than the real thing. They are only perceived to be more difficult because most courses might not be finished and of course there is a lot of study/work done between the mock results and the actual exam that can make the real paper more manageable.

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I know lots of people who did awful in the pres in both the junior and leaving cert and they did good in the exams in June.
How much did he fail them by?
I used do higher level maths up until the pres results came out and I always knew I couldn't do it but I only did because the teacher was easy going. So what I'm saying is is he able to do higher level in these subject's? Or does he need to drop down?

A good point, your son should get the opinion of his teachers about his levels in case there are any decisions to be made before he signs for them in school. You and his teachers say he is bright but best to double check.

If your first instinct as a parent is that he spends too much time on sport then maybe it should be curtailed. You won't be the first parent to do it or the last. It sends the message that the exams are important and sometimes we have to sacrifice things so we can work on other, less enjoyable aspects of life. You don't have to pull him entirely from sport but reduce training days etc with an option of earning them back perhaps. Do not threaten to pull sports without meaning it as someone suggested, you need to follow through. You can certainly threaten it if he doesn't start working but be prepared to carry it out.

deisemum

I feel your pain, have a lad in LC who's doing his mocks this week but he's not expecting good results going on his mood this week. The only study he does is at supervised study about 3 evenings (2 hours) per week and 1 grind a week since the end of January. Not much else done.

I'm hoping the mock results will give him a wake up call but his head is turned with a girl.

Daisymay2007

Thanks for all the input. There is a meeting next week with all the teachers - kind of like a parent teacher meeting done in the format of speed dating! - but it is at these meetings that we will discuss his options re higher and lower. At the moment, he is doing all higher but I know that he will have do drop to lower in some of them. Spoke to him again last night (calmer this time) and he seems disappointed so I am hoping that this will give him some fire in his belly. both of my sister in laws are secondary school teachers and they both have told me that the JC gives a student a good intro into how much will be expected of them in 6th year....I just want the best for him....

Not going to take away all his sports. As I said, I know how important it is for him to have that outlet but I am definitely going to curtail how much he spends training.....

Onwards and upwards!

Daisymay2007

[How much did he fail them by?

Sorry meant to respond to this - he has failed 4 subjects so far, passed 3. He failed the four subjects by 10% - 20% so high enough....

doolox

From what you say I would guess that girls is the problem.

You might need to talk to him or get your husband to talk to him frankly about relationships and other social distractions that can affect study, thinking and learning.

If he doesn't learn to compartmentalise his day with time for study, sports and relationships in their proper place and time he will have a tough time in later life especially in 3rd level and at work.

It may be a case of mild attention deficit or not being able to focus on tasks. This only gets good with time and experience.

In my own personal experience, it was only when I left school and spent some time in a low level position that I really got down to study and develop in any way. Some people have to see the real world in action to become motivated enough to develop and move upwards and be fulfilled.

It might be worth while talking to the teachers to get their advice on how to proceed. Current economic developments and people having difficulties getting work without proper quals can work to motivate some people, other people just give up and stop trying. It is important that he have good role models in this regard, people who are happy in their jobs and lives as a result of hard work and effort and avoid negativity and fear of failure.

Grinds in weak subjects might help but are more appropriate for LC in my opinion. JC is not as important as it once was because a primary degree is now taken as the minimum entry level for any worthwhile job in this job-starved country. Bosses are going to pick the most highly educated and the rest will have to emigrate.

As I said in the title it might be only a temporary infatuation with the opposite sex. Boys are at a disadvantage in this regard and mature later than girls and tend to get lower results esp at 14 yrs of age.

Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

CrazyRabbit

slaneylad wrote: »

make him do homework in the supervised study and when he comes home from school make him study for 45 mins to an hour every evening at home. Dont let him watch Tv or have internet access till hes done this hour. Threaten him with pulling his sports but dont actually.

That's right. Make him hate & resent studying. That'll help him in life!

saraj14

I'm a thirty something year old. I used to be a competitive swimmer, so trained up to eight times a week. I gave up the christmas of my leaving, worst thing ever.

I just procrastinated. I delayed study because I had so much free time. I didn't do as well as expected.

Tell him you will pull him in a months time if he doesn't improve. But he needs structure, and sports will do that.

The jc mocks are just that, mocks! It will put the fear of god into him. Give him a chance to redeem himself.

spurious

To fail JC subjects by that much he must be leaving out questions. As an exam (in terms of allocation of marks in questions and marking schemes) the Junior Cert. is designed to maximise success.

As a teacher, I'd advise him to try keep as many of them at HL as possible, even if he might get an A in OL. In a number of subjects, the LC OL course is not a lot more than the JC HL course. He probably thinks he is going to do badly in June - this is often a side effect of the mocks and partly why for some children I think they do more harm than good.

Let him know that no matter how he does in June, you will be proud of him if he has tried his best, but that if he thinks extra help might be a good thing, you will arrange it for him. Let him be the one requests help, if he needs it.

I wouldn't take his sports away at all.

farmchoice

CrazyRabbit wrote: »

That's right. Make him hate & resent studying. That'll help him in life!

Ya, it seems he is really enjoying it now so it would be a shame to turn him against it.

to the OP, by the sounds of it I was very much like your son at that age, bright enough to get away without doing a rap ( fooling parents and teachers) until that great leveler an exam paper was put in front of me.
I just could not study when left to my own devices, I would sit in my room and do anything but study, and I would sooner read an encyclopedia then a text book. In the end my mother pretty much made me sit in front of her and do my study all the while grilling me on the subject matter.

It worked and I did get into the habit of studying in public so to speak (the kitchen table) where I could not get away with too much slacking off.

its only a few months to the exams so time to come down on him like a ton of bricks, let him keep up the sports as long as the work is being done and make sure he is doing it.

its only the JC and as others have said it is of no great importance but to do well will be a boost to his academic confidence and he will see what he can achieve when he tries, these are lessons that will stand to him when it come to the LC in a few years time.

This is a quote form Muhammad Ali, people who are into sport love it and it applies just as well when it comes to studying.

'I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'

Daisymay2007

Just checking back in on my original post and thanks again for all your advice - very much appreciated. Bit of an update - we have decided to let him keep at his basketball provided he studies at the kitchen table. He agreed to that and seems happy enough to go along with it. I had to laugh reading farmchoices post as it sounds like my son in a nutshell! So hopefully he pulls it out of the bag. Oh and had a meeting with all his teachers and none of them want him to drop to OL so he is going to stick with HL for the moment.....fingers and toes crossed. Would really love (for him) to pass his subjects and be proud of his achievements....thanks again posters!