Is life really better without alcohol?

daveyboynire

At the moment drink is the only thing I look forward to in the week, which is probably why I struggle to kick my weekend binging, Having my drink at the weekend gives me something to look forward to working all week in a job I hate, I know most of my co-workers are the same, they drink regularly at the weekends for the same reasons as myself. Its easy to say quit the job, find another etc etc but its not that easy.

What I struggle with is the fact remove the drink what the hell have I got to look forward to? Minimum wage doesn't pay enough to go anywhere or do anything at the weekends. I need to quit drinking as its been going on to long but feel life will be **** without it. HELP

xzanti

daveyboynire wrote: »

Minimum wage doesn't pay enough to go anywhere or do anything at the weekends.

How much do you spend on drink at the weekend? Maybe save that up and do something productive every second or third weekend.. then you're giving yourself a break from the booze and you've something to look forward to..

I find it a little saddening that you feel drink is the only good thing in your life.. are you maybe a bit depressed? Have you talked to anyone about how you're feeling?

KeefF

daveyboynire wrote: »

At the moment drink is the only thing I look forward to in the week, which is probably why I struggle to kick my weekend binging, Having my drink at the weekend gives me something to look forward to working all week in a job I hate, I know most of my co-workers are the same, they drink regularly at the weekends for the same reasons as myself. Its easy to say quit the job, find another etc etc but its not that easy.

What I struggle with is the fact remove the drink what the hell have I got to look forward to? Minimum wage doesn't pay enough to go anywhere or do anything at the weekends. I need to quit drinking as its been going on to long but feel life will be **** without it. HELP

Having experienced spells off the drink. life is really much better (not perfect) if you can accept that you just don't need to drink and recognise the carnage it causes (for me).
I have gone on the lash maybe once since October'13 and that one big session really hit me hard negatively. For me it is about recognising what are essentially fleeting urges to drink and to think it through and understand the consequences - once I do that I accept I will not drink and am very relieved.

_lietome_

This post has been deleted.

tfitzgerald

It takes a bit of getting used to. But life for me is better without drink. I still have a drink every so often but I have stopped going to the pub every weekend and I have to say I feel better.

Lucena

Like a lot of people in their late teens/early 20s, I drank a fair amount on a night out. Had some great nights, had some sh1te nights, and everything in between. After a while I realised that the pints I enjoyed the most were the first three or four, with diminishing returns on every pint after that. So I cut back. Nowadays I really enjoy beer, but in the sense of having one or two nice ones and stopping there.

Basically you need to ask yourself a few questions:

Can I cut back and still enjoy myself?
Am I able to cut back? If you can't, you definitely have a problem.
Is drink stopping you from doing other things you'd like to do? Either timewise (can't go hill-walking or whatever 'cos too busy in pub or hungover) or moneywise (pissing it all up against a wall so nothing left over for other stuff).

Try cutting back initially, and take it from there. I get the feeling that if you stop too suddenly, you might feel left out 'cos you're sitting at home watching the four walls while everyone else is out socialising. If you can't cut back, talk to family or friends about it.

daveyboynire

Oh believe me I am not out socialising, I've not been out in years, I drink at home, £10 a week gets quite a lot of alcohol in Tesco's. The thing I love about drink is its the only thing that helps me forget my crappy life situation for even a few hours which is why I look forward to it so much I guess.

Sunnyisland

daveyboynire wrote: »

At the moment drink is the only thing I look forward to in the week, which is probably why I struggle to kick my weekend binging, Having my drink at the weekend gives me something to look forward to working all week in a job I hate, I know most of my co-workers are the same, they drink regularly at the weekends for the same reasons as myself. Its easy to say quit the job, find another etc etc but its not that easy.

What I struggle with is the fact remove the drink what the hell have I got to look forward to? Minimum wage doesn't pay enough to go anywhere or do anything at the weekends. I need to quit drinking as its been going on to long but feel life will be **** without it. HELP

Haven't been posting in a while kinda being busy, anyway the gains are endless. Literally endless. Self esteem, look and feel better, better concentration, better at your job. Improved relationships with everyone in your life because you are not a selfish drunk anymore. Not making an arse of yourself in front of people you love, proper sleep, (oh god how I love a good sleep!) no guilt, not being constantly ashamed of yourself, not trying to remember how you got home, what you said, or did. Saying adios to your past and a big hello to your new life.

The losses? Just like you said. That romantic idea of enjoying 'a drink'. We don't do 'a drink'. If we could do 'a drink' we wouldn't be here :-)

Sunnyisland

Here is a post that might relate to what your thinking and expecting OP,

When I ditched the drink I expected I would become happier, more confident, everything would slot into place, my troubles would be over, I would be on easy street, Nothing would worry me or upset me, life would be a piece of cake, my brain would work differently, I would be happy all the time, I would no longer have depression or sad thoughts, I would have a wonderful life, people would applaud me, fanfares would sound and angels would sing..

NOTHING prepared me for the brutal reality that this wasn't the case.
I felt cheated and disappointed and somewhat angry that I had put in all the work to kick booze and I didn't feel any different, my life was NOT any better, and yes I wondered why I even bothered...what was the bloody point..you were meant to feel better..right?? It was meant to get better? Life was meant to change.....

It didn't except for...

My clear head in the mornings and the feel of clarity on waking...

No hangovers, headaches and sick tummy..

No flashbacks of things said and done and no cringe factor upon remembering.

The bedtime stories now told lovingly to my grandchildren instead of the excuses as to why I couldnt read them as I had to go and relax with first drink of the evening or the pub.

The money I have saved by not buying alcohol and smokes.

The compliments I have received telling me how well I look.

The feeling of freedom knowing that alcohol has no hold over me, I have broken free of its power and I am living independant of it.

The problems that are there are now being dealt with and not swept under the carpet in a drunken haze.

The little pieces of me that emerge day to day...new pieces of my personality that have been stifled by alcohol.

The feeling of LIVING and not just drifting along from day to day doing the same old thing and expecting different results.

The feeling of acomplishment, and getting to like myself again ( I am not at the loving myself bit yet but still working on it, we are all a work in progress)

The knowledge that, although I felt like a fish out of water the first few times I went out socially, it is slowly but surely getting much better and easier to handle and when I look around and see some of the antics going on , I feel blessed that I have made the decision not to be the ringleader any more.

The chance to FEEL........I mean really feel...all my emotions...without the crippling distorted illusion of alcohol..I can identify my feelings and deal with them accordingly.

And finally the realisation that my problems are still there, money worries still present, sadness, fear and confusion are with me on a regular basis...BUT I can deal with them now...feel them, understand them and know why I am feeling this way..instead of burying them or intensifying them with the help of alcohol.

In conclusion....life is not all sweetness and light, not the perfect world I did expect it to be..but it is a Utopia in comparison to the one I was existing in and for that I will be eternally grateful.
__________________
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time. ~Mark Twain

Dam, forgot to go to the gym today.........that's eight years in a row now.

daveyboynire

I guess its kind of like giving up smoking. I gave up fags last summer, I expected once I quit that life would be better, I'd have so much more energy and everything would be great.

The reality was nothing happened, I can't say my taste got any better, nor do I have any more energy, nor do I feel any better for it life is just the same.

I've been off the drink now 2 weeks, when I had a hangover I always used to blame that for Sundays being depressing, the reality is Sundays are crap whether hungover or not. I've found myself in bed now by 8pm as I'm fed up, I wouldn't say I am depressed without drink, I am just in that sort of lost space where I don't know what to do with myself without it. Its easy to say take up a hobby, do this, go there, but in reality I can't be arsed, I've started reading again which is kind of helping, I'd like to be content just doing nothing.

Sunnyisland

I i will just add overcoming alcohol dependence doesn't just mean stopping drinking,it means changing the way you live life and your outlook on life.
Many people still feel a strong urge to drink alcohol for quite some time after they have taken the decision to give up.
If life without alcohol occasionally makes you feel frustrated,lonely,bored, angry you are not alone,many people who have succeeded in giving up alcohol felt like this at first,

The solution is not to fight the feeling, but to change your life,This means focusing on the positive things that give you more health,vitality and enjoyment for the things you choose to do,developing a positive plan of action is the first all important step, this plan should include

eating well
enjoying some exercise
taking relaxation and avoiding stress
Developing a positive attitude and surrounding yourself with happy positive people,
Getting a good night sleep.

Remember these 5 key points and develop your own personal action plan.
keep up the good work your doing for yourself :-)

souls

daveyboynire wrote: »

I guess its kind of like giving up smoking. I gave up fags last summer, I expected once I quit that life would be better, I'd have so much more energy and everything would be great.

The reality was nothing happened, I can't say my taste got any better, nor do I have any more energy, nor do I feel any better for it life is just the same.

I've been off the drink now 2 weeks, when I had a hangover I always used to blame that for Sundays being depressing, the reality is Sundays are crap whether hungover or not. I've found myself in bed now by 8pm as I'm fed up, I wouldn't say I am depressed without drink, I am just in that sort of lost space where I don't know what to do with myself without it. Its easy to say take up a hobby, do this, go there, but in reality I can't be arsed, I've started reading again which is kind of helping, I'd like to be content just doing nothing.

I was exactly the same initially man. stay the course.. if your not ready to start a hobby or whatever don't.i had two weeks of fever shakes and down right hell to endure whilst fitting in a job (in retail and surrounded by drink!!) at the same time. i just made not drinking my priority for each day. people will say thats not really fixing the problem but its a damn good start!

after about 3 weeks i picked up my arse even though i still felt i wasn't ready or interested in anything and began to go for walks quickly turning to runs. after all i had a lot of time to fill, now only after a short time it doesn't feel like time I've to fill, but real enjoyment just getting out there! this is coming from a guy (29) who stared out of a window on his own drinking morning noon and night for 2 years!

im 45 days sober now!taking each day as it comes!but feeling a lot better than i did,when i was at the same stage as yourself!hope you're staying the course buddy. you're worth it!

daveyboynire

daveyboynire wrote: »

Is life really better without alcohol?

Not really - at least not solely. If there are problems in your life - or you are unhappy with your life - then merely giving up alcohol is not going to address that. So I would not pin all my hopes on this one thing.

It sounds like your alcohol use is a symptom of a life you are not happy with - not the cause of it. So merely attacking the symptom and removing it (by not drinking any more) will still leave the problems there that you have.

The key is to find out what is wrong with your life that you are not happy with and address that. Evaluate where you are - where you want to be - and then start addressing how to get from that A to that B. Maybe even do so by working through it with us here on this thread. Start listing the As and Bs to us here. Sometimes the mere act of writing it down can help focus.

The key is not "Is life really better without alcohol?" as this is the wrong question for you at this time. The question is "Can life itself be better, with or without alcohol?" and the answer to that is yes. Things can improve - and alcohol can play a part - or be totally absent - in that new you and new life.

But merely deleting drink from your life and not doing anything else will do nothing more than create a vacuum in your life. And something has to fill that vacuum. And more often than not - it will be filled by the drink pouring back in again. Through no real fault of your own - though it will leave a feeling in you like you failed all the same - which is going to leave you worse off then when you started.

xzanti

realies wrote: »

The solution is not to fight the feeling, but to change your life,This means focusing on the positive things that give you more health,vitality and enjoyment for the things you choose to do,developing a positive plan of action is the first all important step, this plan should include

eating well
enjoying some exercise
taking relaxation and avoiding stress
Developing a positive attitude and surrounding yourself with happy positive people,
Getting a good night sleep.

Remember these 5 key points and develop your own personal action plan.
keep up the good work your doing for yourself :-)

I agree 100%..

I drink copious amounts of water every day, I couldn't imagine my life without doing that now.. the benefits of it are amazing!!

I also take a cocktail of supplements every morning.. again I can feel and see the effects of them and I wish I'd done it years ago.. Simple things like Vitamin D, Evening Primrose Oil etc.. they are great for your body and soul.

I drink camomile tea in the evenings now and I look forward to it.. it's so relaxing and I sleep great.. my sleep is so important to me now.

If you told me 2 years ago that I would living this way today, I'd have laughed at you.. but life is so much richer for me now, I love it.

iusedtoknow

my life has definitely improved no end, but only because I used coming off alcohol as a booster to life, rather than a solution to any problems.

Since quitting alcohol, I've become more focussed at work, so much so that I ended up with a promotion, moving to a new country and a payrise. Quitting alcohol did not do this for me, but not being mildly hungover 4 times a week did.

Since quitting, i've become more social with people, gotten fitter and into hobbies that I never thought I'd be interested in. I get up a 7am on Saturday mornings and go kayaking instead of willing myself out of bed, even if i've been in out at a party till 2am

Since quitting, I've seen a bit more money in my wallet than before

Since quitting, i've had less fights with my wife, because I am way more in control of my emotions and what I have to say, rather than drink driving everything

Corkgirl210

yes! 100000000000000000000000000000000% better! In every way..........

martingriff

daveyboynire wrote: »

At the moment drink is the only thing I look forward to in the week, which is probably why I struggle to kick my weekend binging, Having my drink at the weekend gives me something to look forward to working all week in a job I hate, I know most of my co-workers are the same, they drink regularly at the weekends for the same reasons as myself. Its easy to say quit the job, find another etc etc but its not that easy.

What I struggle with is the fact remove the drink what the hell have I got to look forward to? Minimum wage doesn't pay enough to go anywhere or do anything at the weekends. I need to quit drinking as its been going on to long but feel life will be **** without it. HELP

Is life better without alchol? Well it depends if you are somone who has one or two a week then no as the alchol make no difference you are just relaxing. However if you are drinking to excess then it could be but will not be unless you deal with the underlining cause. In your case it is that you hate your work and you want a way to forget about it and the only way for you is to drink. What you need is a hobby something you like to do and is somewhat cheap or if it aint and you really want to do it then you have an insintive to save. To stop drinking or drinking as much.

Henry94

I found I felt better every year for about five years after stopping. It leveled off after that but I have never had a low day like I used to have. Maybe some of the great days aren't quite as spectacular but I remember more about them. I'm off it 14 years and sometimes dream of pints of Guinness. They are nice dreams but I'm no longer interested in the reality.

xzanti

Henry94 wrote: »

I'm off it 14 years and sometimes dream of pints of Guinness. They are nice dreams but I'm no longer interested in the reality.

I regularly dream about drink... but I don't actually dream about the act of drinking.. I dream of waking up not knowing where I am or how I got there.. and the 'fear'..

They're more nightmares than dreams really.. The feeling of relief when I wake is unreal.

Kunkka

Live in a constant blurry fantasy which then turns in to a nightmare or the real world? I'll choose the real world please

tealcottage

There are no advantages to drinking alcohol what so ever. All the so called pleasures from drinking alcohol are myths. I occasionally think of drink for the same reasons as many others have said, but alcohol cannot do anything for anyone. Once you understand this, life without alcohol is just a pleasure.

Life is a lot better without alcohol.

jacksie66

This post has been deleted.

KeefF

tealcottage wrote: »

There are no advantages to drinking alcohol what so ever. All the so called pleasures from drinking alcohol are myths. I occasionally think of drink for the same reasons as many others have said, but alcohol cannot do anything for anyone. Once you understand this, life without alcohol is just a pleasure.

Life is a lot better without alcohol.

Agree with this. Trick for me is to emned this within my mindset and values.

tealcottage

KeefF wrote: »

Agree with this. Trick for me is to emned this within my mindset and values.

Try reading the book "Kick the Drink Easily" by Jason Vale. It will help get you in the right mindset.

Lucena

tealcottage wrote: »

There are no advantages to drinking alcohol what so ever. All the so called pleasures from drinking alcohol are myths. I occasionally think of drink for the same reasons as many others have said, but alcohol cannot do anything for anyone. Once you understand this, life without alcohol is just a pleasure.

Life is a lot better without alcohol.

I’m afraid I have to disagree with you on this one. If there were no advantages to drinking alcohol, no-one would do it. Some of the advantages are:

Enjoying the taste
Feeling more confident
Fitting in more easily

Obviously these advantages can be outweighed by a number of disadvantages, such as:

Putting oneself and others in danger (fights, falling etc.)
Inappropriate behavior
Time wasted drinking and being hung-over
Overspending

I’m not advocating alcohol use, far from it, but I think it can help to understand alcohol use (and abuse) only if we see what people can get out of it. The message of the dangers of alcohol won’t be very credible if we have to start making up lies to defend our position.

Maybe the message needs to be simply that overall, life is better without alcohol.

xzanti

Lucena wrote: »

I’m afraid I have to disagree with you on this one. If there were no advantages to drinking alcohol, no-one would do it. Some of the advantages are:

Enjoying the taste
Feeling more confident
Fitting in more easily

Can you honestly say that you enjoyed the taste of your first alcoholic drink? If the answer is yes then you more than likely had an alcopop or some other sugar sweetened drink for your first tipple.. so really you didn't enjoy the alcohol, you enjoyed the sugar that was masking it!

The taste of most alcohol based drinks is vile..

Beer, wine, spirits.. even cider has a kick off it.. you have to 'acquire' a taste for it.. am I wrong???

I for one don't know a single person who took their first sip of beer or wine and said "Wow that's gorgeous".. they had to keep at it to build up a tolerance to the taste.

As for feeling confident? It dulls the senses and removes inhibitions, which may not be a good thing in a lot of cases.. it does not 'give' you confidence, it's an illusion.

If anything alcohol removes your confidence.. how confident do people feel the day after a drinking session? The word confident does not come to mind.

I am aware that there are those who can go out and nurse one drink for the whole night.. and would probably not care if they didn't have a drink at all.. these are not the sort of people I am referring to.

tealcottage

xzanti wrote: »

Can you honestly say that you enjoyed the taste of your first alcoholic drink? If the answer is yes then you more than likely had an alcopop or some other sugar sweetened drink for your first tipple.. so really you didn't enjoy the alcohol, you enjoyed the sugar that was masking it!

The taste of most alcohol based drinks is vile..

Beer, wine, spirits.. even cider has a kick off it.. you have to 'acquire' a taste for it.. am I wrong???

I for one don't know a single person who took their first sip of beer or wine and said "Wow that's gorgeous".. they had to keep at it to build up a tolerance to the taste.

As for feeling confident? It dulls the senses and removes inhibitions, which may not be a good thing in a lot of cases.. it does not 'give' you confidence, it's an illusion.

If anything alcohol removes your confidence.. how confident do people feel the day after a drinking session? The word confident does not come to mind.

I am aware that there are those who can go out and nurse one drink for the whole night.. and would probably not care if they didn't have a drink at all.. these are not the sort of people I am referring to.

This attitude is the easiest way of getting rid of the drink. No longing, no missing out, just easy. Just open your mind and let it work.

I read the book a few times just to take it all in and I have never looked back.

It won't work for everyone but it's definitely worth a try.

daveyboynire

tealcottage wrote: »

Try reading the book "Kick the Drink Easily" by Jason Vale. It will help get you in the right mindset.

I did, its a total rehash of Allen Carrs Easy way to stop smoking, how he didn't get sued for copyright infringement is beyond me. And the same way Allen Carrs book didn't get me of cigs neither did Jason Vale's book.

tealcottage

daveyboynire wrote: »

I did, its a total rehash of Allen Carrs Easy way to stop smoking, how he didn't get sued for copyright infringement is beyond me. And the same way Allen Carrs book didn't get me of cigs neither did Jason Vale's book.

I know the book doesn't work for everyone but fairplay to you for reading the book.

I don't know or care anything about copyrights. All I care is the book worked for me and I am delighted. I'm having the best time of my life.

Tubberadora

Is life better without alcohol? In a word yes. This is the first time I looked in this forum. Not long ago I realised I had a bit of a problem with drink. I probably did for years but always justified it. I work in a pub, so listen to lots of ****e talk day and night from lads in the pub. End of the night, I would have a drink cause I felt I needed it after the day. Nights that I wasn't working I felt I should have a few. I might have a bad day in work, Id have a drink. Row with the missus, have a drink. Child being difficult, have a drink. I could come up with an excuse every single day of the week. I had been drinking every day for about two years. Some nights might only have been two or three, when I went out was twelve or more. I never missed a days work, was paying all the bills first etc so obviously I didn't have a problem? Or so I convinced myself for years.
Since I stopped I have taken a whole new perspective. If a customer in the pub is getting on my nerves, I now realise that that used to be me. I do my job much better also as I am not hungover. I feel better, more energy, eating better. My relationship is much better, but most importantly I am much better with my little girl. Where I used to be hungover and not able to do enough with her, I now enjoy every minute of it. Its only been a few weeks since I packed in drinking, I still do think about it. However, anytime I think about it I remember the person I was and ask myself do I want to be him again. The answer to that is definitely no.

Sunnyisland

Tubberadora wrote: »

Is life better without alcohol? In a word yes. This is the first time I looked in this forum. Not long ago I realised I had a bit of a problem with drink. I probably did for years but always justified it. I work in a pub, so listen to lots of ****e talk day and night from lads in the pub. End of the night, I would have a drink cause I felt I needed it after the day. Nights that I wasn't working I felt I should have a few. I might have a bad day in work, Id have a drink. Row with the missus, have a drink. Child being difficult, have a drink. I could come up with an excuse every single day of the week. I had been drinking every day for about two years. Some nights might only have been two or three, when I went out was twelve or more. I never missed a days work, was paying all the bills first etc so obviously I didn't have a problem? Or so I convinced myself for years.
Since I stopped I have taken a whole new perspective. If a customer in the pub is getting on my nerves, I now realise that that used to be me. I do my job much better also as I am not hungover. I feel better, more energy, eating better. My relationship is much better, but most importantly I am much better with my little girl. Where I used to be hungover and not able to do enough with her, I now enjoy every minute of it. Its only been a few weeks since I packed in drinking, I still do think about it. However, anytime I think about it I remember the person I was and ask myself do I want to be him again. The answer to that is definitely no.

Fair play to you OP ,it will just that bit harder for you as you work in the industry, keep that last paragraph in your mind as you try to get a better life, it can be done.