Two Cows

beertons

Socialism.
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

Communism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism.
You have 2 cows.
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism.
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Your heard multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Royal Bank Of Scotland (Venture) Capitalism.
You have 2 cows.
You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother in law at the bank. Then execute a equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transfered via an intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy the new president of the US, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

Surrealism.
You have 2 giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

An American Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and force the other one to produce the milk of 4 cows. Later you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A Greek Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
You borrow lots of Euro's to build barns, milking sheds, hay sores, feed sheds, dairies, cold stores, abattoir, cheese unit, and packing sheds. You still only have 2 cows.

A French Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot and block the roads, all because you want 3 cows.

A Japanese Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of a normal cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimona and market it worldwide.

An Italian Corporation.
You haave 2 cows.
But you don't know where they are. You decide to go to lunch.

A Swiss Corporation.
You have 5000 cows.
None of them belong to you. You charge all the owners for storing them.

A Chinese Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
You have 300 people milking them. You claim you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

An Indian Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
You worship both of them.

A British Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
Both are mad.

An Iraqi Corporation.
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you, and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy.

An Australian Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A New Zealand Corporation.
You have 2 cows.
The one on the left looks rather attractive.