I just don't get it

sibeniklove

My friends boyfriend came to visit me last night. She had dumped him again. He's a wonderful guy and treats her like a princess and she WALKS ALL OVER HIM. He is "allowed" to stay at her house two nights a week and if he does he has to give her money for electricity. He has given her money for other bills and for xmas he gave her 300 quid towards and new tv and bought her a GHD (about 120 euros). She moans to me a lot about how tight fisted he is. He was the one that paid for her last fill of home heating oil. She belittles him in front of me and has very little interest in sex (she tells me that herself).

I guess my question is this. Why do men love bitches? I see it all the time. Great guys getting walked on and clinging on for dear life to their relationship with a mean girl. I'm no angel myself but i have been single for four years and am pulling my hair out! How do i remain true to myself and still find a guy who wants to be with me without having to treat him like crap.

kbell

Your friends boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend sounds like a decent fella.

sibeniklove

Oh he won't be ex long. he always goes back. This is what i don't get. He told me he wanted to beg her to take him back.

Geomy

I don't really know why guy's are interested in bitches.
I got caught up with one for 7 weeks before Christmas and got out of there.
They can be very charming and start off really nice then pull the carpet from under you.
This is a way of manipulation, then it's up and down high and low.
The belittling is about knocking his confidence so that he'll think nobody else will have him, im glad I got away from her, they are usually quite attractive and more than likely street angels and house devil's. .
They seem to pick easygoing nice guy's, because most guy's wouldn't put up with her **** and she knows that.

Geomy

I don't really know why guy's are interested in bitches.
I got caught up with one for 7 weeks before Christmas and got out of there.
They can be very charming and start off really nice then pull the carpet from under you.
This is a way of manipulation, then it's up and down high and low.
The belittling is about knocking his confidence so that he'll think nobody else will have him, im glad I got away from her, they are usually quite attractive and more than likely street angels and house devil's. .
They seem to pick easygoing nice guy's, because most guy's wouldn't put up with her **** and she knows that.

sibeniklove

Geomy wrote: »

they are usually quite attractive and more than likely street angels and house devil's. .
They seem to pick easygoing nice guy's, because most guy's wouldn't put up with her **** and she knows that.

Yeah she is very pretty. And in most cases i see that the men i come across that are in these kinds of relationships the woman is very attractive.

sligoface

Plenty of women also allow their male partners to treat them badly. It has less to do with gender than it does their self esteem and upbringing, how they approach and view relationships, choose partners, etc. And also their maturity level and experience with different relationships. They will follow patterns based on their early relationships and if they were always treated badly, they never know any different. I truly feel bad for those people. But this is beyond ridiculous to the point where I am having a hard time having sympathy for this man. Typically when a woman charges a fee for you to stay over, it's called prostitution, not dating!

If someone puts up with something that outrageous, they need to cop on.

I've never once sought out a relationship with a 'bitch', and if they turned out to be one I'd be gone. And I don't have the most amazing confidence or really high self esteem I just find being nice to people a much more attractive quality. But it's true people are turned on by different things. 'Some of them want to be used by you' as the song says.

CaraMay

Op I don't understand how this is a personal issue for you? Are you interested in the guy yourself?

Tbh he must have a bit of a want in him to allow her treat him like that. It's either that it he is just thinking with his willy.

Merkin

I don't see how this is a personal issue. I also think the question "Why do men love bitches?" is a bit of a sweeping generalization.

A good rule of thumb is just not to get involved in other people's relationships. It sounds like he loves being a doormat or just thrives on the drama, some people love that, meh. Leave them be.

alias06

He's a fool to let her treat him like that. You get what you tolerate in this life I'm afraid.

Ah_Yeah

sibeniklove wrote: »

My friends boyfriend came to visit me last night. She had dumped him again. He's a wonderful guy and treats her like a princess and she WALKS ALL OVER HIM. He is "allowed" to stay at her house two nights a week and if he does he has to give her money for electricity. He has given her money for other bills and for xmas he gave her 300 quid towards and new tv and bought her a GHD (about 120 euros). She moans to me a lot about how tight fisted he is. He was the one that paid for her last fill of home heating oil. She belittles him in front of me and has very little interest in sex (she tells me that herself).

I guess my question is this. Why do men love bitches? I see it all the time. Great guys getting walked on and clinging on for dear life to their relationship with a mean girl. I'm no angel myself but i have been single for four years and am pulling my hair out! How do i remain true to myself and still find a guy who wants to be with me without having to treat him like crap.

Off topic here, but why is your friend's boyfriend coming to visit you? You shouldn't be getting involved here if it is your friend's boyfried - you're treading in dangerous territory here. Don't get involved in other people's relationships.

Wibbs

sibeniklove wrote: »

Yeah she is very pretty. And in most cases i see that the men i come across that are in these kinds of relationships the woman is very attractive.

It would make sense as sligoface said self esteem would play a huge part in this. Guy who doesn't think he's up to much figures he hasn't a hope with women, thinks women are a rarity and good looking women even more so. He then, by some stroke of luck(as he sees it) gets attention from a woman he thinks is "out of his league", so takes silly amounts of crap to keep her as her presence makes him feel better about himself. This enables her to be a wagon. I've even seen normally non wagons go rogue in such a relationship. There is also the element of her seeing him as weak. This is normally kyrptonite to female attraction, but if his attention is enough to sooth her ego it'll overpower that. However at times it doesn't and she feels turned off by him she'll flip out, dump him, then missing the ego boost let him back into her life. Rinse and repeat. That is until she bumps into a bloke who is his own man, won't take her guff and expects an equal relationship, then weak guy is gone for good. Maybe kept around as a "friend" as ego insurance for a time.

Wibbs

kbell wrote: »

Your friends boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend sounds like a decent fella.

IMH he sounds like a sap and will continue to be used like a sap until he cops on.

Neyite

OP unless this is a Personal Issue for you personally, I'm locking this thread. Check the Charter.

And if you return to this forum at a later stage, we would appreciate it if you refrain from generalisations - in fact that's a rule in several fora on Boards.