Leaving my girlfriedn

Anthony1993

me and my girlfriend have being going out a year, were both 20, but im going to australia for a year and shes very upset about it and will barley be able to handle it. she doesnt want distance or us to drift apart, if i decide to stay in OZ for 2 years she wouldnt be able to do that and shed want to break up. I dont want us to break up, like i thought id always be with her, but i feel its unfair leaving her and expecting her to wait.. what do ye think?? what should i do

Jenneke87

Nobody here can tell you what to do, that is entirely up to you. However, since you're still so young, personally I wouldn't lose out on the oppertunity to travel. Harsh as this may sound, your girlfriend will survive and move on even though it will be difficult at first. Nobody wants to see their bf/gf go, but sometimes this is the way it is.

LegacyUser

Hey.
I was in pretty much the same situation about 5 years ago. I was going to Oz and leaving a bf behind. It was heartbreaking but we had to split up. Long distance is hard enough on a relationship when you get to see each other sporadically but you are looking at 1 - 2 years of not seeing each other & being on different time zones.

You will have your life in Australia which you owe it to yourself to be able to enjoy fully. Your girlfriend will have her life at home and should also be able to enjoy that fully.

You're both still very young, so the best thing to do would be to go your separate ways & who knows - you might meet up in a few years when you've gotten traveling etc. out of your systems.

I'm sure that's not the answer you would have liked to get & I know it will be really hard, but just speaking from experience, I don't think a relationship can survive that level of distance.

Legs.Eleven

I'm going to give my honest opinion but I don't think you want to hear it and I might even get slated for it. You're 20, you're young, you've only been with this girl a year and you're going to live in a foreign country where you'll have fun and opportunities and temptation and all the rest. You will find the year (or 2 years!!) ridiculously hard and for a young guy with your whole life ahead of you, I'd say end it now.

I wasted 2 years of my life doing long-distance with some guy I met on my J1 visa when I was 21 when I could've been having fun and tbh, part of me regrets it. I believed we'd eventually live in the same country (we saw each other 4 times in 2 and a half years) and live happily ever after.

More than likely this won't be the girl you'll spend the rest of your life with (statistically speaking). If it ends up being 2 years, I can't see how you will last never mind 1 year. Long-distance is really tough and tbh, I'd say for someone so young, it's too soon to give up so much and invest in something like this. If one person (your girlfriend) is not into the idea, you're going to find it even harder (jealousy, loneliness, insecurity etc).

I think she's being the sensible, realistic one here and I'd go along with her idea if I were you. If you're meant to be, things might work out when you come back. You're the one leaving for an adventure and she's the one left behind pining for you, which makes it harder for her.

Why don't you leave it and see how it pans out when you get home?

Anthony1993

No no this is helpul, i think its good you were very honest, we had planned on doing it for a year and then seing how it went and all that. But im going to have a good conversation with her and see what she thinks, i think its the only way

Legs.Eleven

Anthony1993 wrote: »

No no this is helpul, i think its good you were very honest, we had planned on doing it for a year and then seing how it went and all that. But im going to have a good conversation with her and see what she thinks, i think its the only way

I genuinely think that if it's meant to be, you'll get back together in the future. Have a year out, have fun instead of leaving her behind in rainy auld Ireland pining for you while you're enjoying yourself. That'd be torture for me personally. You're both young, so really enjoy it because that kind of freedom is finite.


Decide for yourself anyway but just telling you what I'd do personally as someone who's 33 and knows how precious and fleeting youth is.

Tokyo

Anthony1993 wrote: »

me and my girlfriend have being going out a year, were both 20, but im going to australia for a year and shes very upset about it and will barley be able to handle it. she doesnt want distance or us to drift apart, if i decide to stay in OZ for 2 years she wouldnt be able to do that and shed want to break up. I dont want us to break up, like i thought id always be with her, but i feel its unfair leaving her and expecting her to wait.. what do ye think?? what should i do

You haven't even left Ireland yet and you're already exploring the possibility of staying gone for two years. I think you already know what you want to do.

Anthony1993

we are gonna go on a break and pick it up when i get back