Would you expect an invite to the whole wedding if you were invited to stags/hens?

Meanaspie

Quick poll, organising the brothers stags - so wondering if it's bad to invite people to it who are only invited the the afters of the wedding and not the whole day?

symbolic

Personally I'd be delighted with that situation

sidcon

I'm getting married in June and have invited people that are not even invited to the afters . The stags is my celebration of the end of being single, so I will invite who I want. They all know it's to expensive to be invited to the wedding/afters.
So far I have 42 lads on my stags, only 12 of them are going to the wedding and 10 more to the afters. The rest understand.

pooch90

To be honest, I think if it was a hen then yes the girl would assume they are invited to the full wedding.
I don't think a man would assume the same if invited to the stag.

smcgiff

sidcon wrote: »

So far I have 42 lads on my stags,

Sure you're finished being single?

I voted yes.

stargazer 68

pooch90 wrote: »

To be honest, I think if it was a hen then yes the girl would assume they are invited to the full wedding.
I don't think a man would assume the same if invited to the stag.

Think it depends on the type of hen/stag. If you are doing a weekend away then yes probably but if its a night out then no - at least I hope not! My sister has 30 or so going to her night out and they are certainly all not coming to the wedding!

D3PO

generally blokes dont expect where as women do.

No idea why and thats not a sexist comment thats just how it seems to be.

Sam Kade

I know a woman that booked a room in the hotel that her co worker is having her wedding in, she booked it last year the minute she heard when and where the wedding is on. The co worker had her hen night recently and the woman wasn't even invited to it

Penny Dreadful

Sam Kade wrote: »

I know a woman that booked a room in the hotel that her co worker is having her wedding in, she booked it last year the minute she heard when and where the wedding is on. The co worker had her hen night recently and the woman wasn't even invited to it

Something similar happened to me when I was getting married. A woman I was kind of friendly with heard I'd set the date and where the wedding reception was on and called up to book a family room. She assumed, despite being told that I was after as small a wedding as I could get away with, that her whole family (husband and 3 sons) would be invited.
She wasn't ever on the list. She also hounded my sister about coming to the hen and then when she was invited didn't bother to turn up!

Milly33

It is a hard one, first off I say Yes you would be then thinking about it properly I would nearly ask people that's if you have a large hen/stag!! A lot of people might actually appreciate it saying perhaps that you can pick would you like to go to the whole thing or not. I know for one I would prefer to be invited to half the afters of weddings I have gone too

amor3

No, I've been to a few hen's where I made acquaintances with the same few girls and stayed in touch through social media, these girls are invited to my hen party but not the wedding!

smcgiff

amor3 wrote: »

No, I've been to a few hen's where I made acquaintances with the same few girls and stayed in touch through social media, these girls are invited to my hen party but not the wedding!

So, good craic on a night out, but not special enough to go to the social occasion that is your wedding?

amor3

smcgiff wrote: »

So, good craic on a night out, but not special enough to go to the social occasion that is your wedding?

Yep! They are friends of friends!! they actually invited themselves along so more the merrier :-)

Sam Kade

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

Something similar happened to me when I was getting married. A woman I was kind of friendly with heard I'd set the date and where the wedding reception was on and called up to book a family room. She assumed, despite being told that I was after as small a wedding as I could get away with, that her whole family (husband and 3 sons) would be invited.
She wasn't ever on the list. She also hounded my sister about coming to the hen and then when she was invited didn't bother to turn up!

Yeah same as the woman I know she presumes that she will be invited and wants to be one step ahead of everyone else. She'll be fairly put out if the invite doesn't arrive. I don't get this fascination with weddings and wanting to be invited.

smcgiff

amor3 wrote: »

they actually invited themselves along so more the merrier :-)

Ah, that's different.

cookiecakes

If it was just a night out dancing or whatever, maybe not. If I was expected to contribute to the bride/groom's night or weekend, then yes I probably would expect to be invited.

smcgiff

cookiecakes wrote: »

If I was expected to contribute to the bride/groom's night or weekend, then yes I probably would expect to be invited.

Never heard of such.

Typer Monkey

smcgiff wrote: »

Never heard of such.

Every hen I've been to the cost is divided by the number of attendees minus the hen, be that a meal, night away, activity or all three! I've even been 'instructed' to bring a gift on a number of occasions too. They can be expensive affairs for the guests.

I'm having a night out in a late bar I like with no theme or organised 'fun' or demands for or expectations of presents or anyone paying my way. In fairness, I'm only reserving an area and putting on a few platters of fried stuff. Very low key altogether but that's exactly what I want and it'll only cost people the same as any other night out really.

eviltwin

I've been to a hen's where I wasn't invited to the wedding, it was a small wedding so I understood and in fairness I did get an invite to the afters. Most of the people on the hen's didn't attend the wedding. We were asked to split the bill so the hen didn't have to pay anything but I declined. To me it was more a night out just to celebrate the upcoming wedding.

cookiecakes

smcgiff wrote: »

Never heard of such.

You're really lucky so! I've been asked to contribute up to €100 to cover the costs for the hen!

Gatica

I think it's ok not to invite to wedding after a hen if it's going to be a small family wedding. I would think it odd to be invited there as a "rent a crown" and provide the craic, so to speak, for the hen but then not be considered close enough to be at a large wedding.
I've mostly been invited to weddings but not the hen, and sometimes to both. So to me the other way around seems strange.
We've usually covered cost of the bride between us girls, but it's usually been in the range of 20 Euro, plus a small gift or memento for the bride. I've no issue with that. I think it would be unfair to be asking girls to fork out region of 100 for the bride though! That's OTT in my books. That would just mean either bride or BM decided on a very lavish hen.
Been to hen where the bride provided some token gifts to the attendees instead. It was a bit of 80's accessories for doing a bit of 80's dance choreography. Was really good fun...

Calmsurrender

Got invited to a hen before when I didn't even know the bride!!!
It was the friend of a friend. They rented an apartment in Spain and needed numbers ... Needless to say I didn't go

Gatica

yeah, that's sounds a bit cheeky.